Where there's smoke, there's Ava

Magic tricks and biotoxins, third-degree burns, badly hidden babies, and double spies. What a roller coaster of a week in Port Charles! Let's unpack all this and more in this week's Two Scoops.

Dear readers, this week's GH left me breathless! We have anxiously awaited the resolution of multiple storylines, and they exploded all at once in a magnificent display of emotion and that "sitting on the edge of your seat" suspense!

For months (since October 2016), we have been waiting for someone to figure out that Ava switched Morgan's pills with placebos and sent him down a speedy spiral into the depths of his mental illness. Ava purposely wanted Morgan to break down and be institutionalized to keep him from dating her daughter. How sick is that? My dad never approved of my dates either, but he just terrorized them like a normal dad; he never tried to make them go crazy.

The premise of this story bothered me from the get-go. Why? How could it have ever happened? It seems that a guy like Sonny who lives with security guards at every door, a man who has had family members blown up in car bombs, would spring for the $99 a month to get security cameras installed in his house from his local Port Charles cable company.

But, alas, he did not, and Ava was able to sneak into his house and switch Morgan's pills, undetected. I didn't think there was a way that anyone would ever figure that out. But Sonny, the super sleuth, put his intuition to work and cracked the case. I wonder if Spinelli is in the market for a new P.I.?

Ava, once cornered, turned into a wildcat, pulling guns and throwing oil lamps, which started a blaze from which she could not escape. Question...don't they have electric lights there? Why was there even a flaming oil lamp burning in that room? But I digress.

Ava got caught in the blaze and now has second- and third-degree burns over her entire body except for the one corner of her face where we can see one eye poking out.

Here's the thing. Ava is a criminal. She did horrible things. But I want to find some pathway out for her because I'd hate to lose Maura West from the GH cast. She is such a compelling performer. Maura West and Laura Wright should use those powerhouse scenes in their Emmy reel for next year! Their performance was fierce. It was gripping and intense. I can only imagine the director was standing off-screen, holding a pitcher or martinis for them to drink when they got off stage. I was glad Ava was finally caught, and I wanted her to pay for her sins, but not like this.

Across town, the fantastic Nurses Ball ended with a brainwashed youngster performing a magic show that had the potential to kill the entire town.

Readers, I hope Helena is still messing with Jake's mind because I really want to keep seeing Constance Towers. If she's alive, great. If she's just walking around in the heads of half the town she has brainwashed, okay, I'll take it. Maybe Lucky can come back; Helena brainwashed him, too. But she only brainwashed Lucky to forget Elizabeth, not to set off a deadly toxin. Clearly she's upped her game since the 90s.

Jake was saved by the voice of his Mama, as many of us have been in our lives. My Mama has been gone five years, and just the thought of her keeps me from misbehaving sometimes. Just in case she can see me at Happy Hour from heaven...

The saddest part of this story for me is the downfall of Valentin. Readers, I've been partial to Valentin since he arrived in Port Charles. (I wasn't too crazy about him when he was on Cassadine Island.) When he sang Billy Joel songs to Nina at the Nurses Ball, I thought to myself, "OMG, I am in love with Valentin."

His character's backstory breaks my heart. A lonely hunchback toyed with emotionally by a double spy who persuaded him to do horrible things that he would never have done on his own.

Anna says he's going away for life, but I don't want to even think about losing James Patrick Stuart. He brings romance and elegance back to Port Charles. I am mentally trying to find a loophole for him. There were extenuating circumstances. Anna knows this and is sympathetic to him; will she stand up for him and get him off the hook? Maybe the WSB will be content to let Alex take the fall instead of blaming her unwitting pawn. After all, Valentin willingly gave the chimera to Anna. Will that act work in his favor?

The worst thing we think we know about Valentin was that he shot Nikolas. But I'm still not convinced that Nikolas is dead. You may recall that when Nikolas went to Cassadine Island, he had faked his own death in order to escape a whole host of trouble back in Port Charles. Maybe he paid Valentin off to fake his death and stay quiet about it. Maybe he signed Wyndemere over to Valentin to watch for him until it was safe for him to return. I hope Nina is as willing to make excuses for Valentin as I am. I hope she can hear the story and forgive her husband's past misdeeds. I really love the two of them together.

Lulu, on the other hand, is hoping for the opposite. She wants Valentin to go away for a long time so she can claim Charlotte for her own. Of course, there is no need, because as we can see with Emme Rylan's sloppily disguised pregnancy, Lulu's portrayer is about to give birth on stage at any minute. Lulu could have another baby in a matter of minutes! Haven't you ever seen those women who said, "I didn't even know I was pregnant!"? That would be a hilarious storyline.

Every time I saw Lulu at the Nurses Ball, I paused to laugh about the GH prop team trying to hide her obvious pregnancy under some plants and a gigantic dress. I was hoping someone at the ball would say, "Lulu, you look like you've put on a few pounds. You should go see Richard Simmons." And no hate mail, please; I'm on the chubby side myself, so this is not fat bashing. It would just have been truer than everyone pretending they didn't notice anything.

In my soapy dream world, once Nikolas is found to be alive, Lulu and Valentin can peacefully co-parent their daughter and stop bouncing poor Charlotte around like a Ping-Pong ball.

Sonny and Carly now have the answers about what happened to Morgan, but has it given them the peace and closure they sought? Not really. They have answers, but the answers were very hard to hear. A woman they loathe deliberately sabotaged their son, and they are heartbroken thinking about Morgan's confusion about why he was still messed up after faithfully taking his pills.

Sonny and Carly got out of the fire, and they gave their statement to Dante, who only halfway believes their version of events. Now that Sonny has sneaked into Ava's room and she's begging him to kill her, I can't imagine this going well for Sonny. Be careful what you wish for, Ava! Ava begged Silas Clay to kill her once, too, and instead, he gave her a miracle cure. I doubt that Sonny will repeat that history.

Readers, speaking of Dante's involvement in this case, I want to bring up an odd phenomenon from this past week on GH. Have the rules changed for law enforcement officers to go around town, blabbing to everyone they see about ongoing open investigations?

Dante went and told Kiki and Michael everything he knew about Ava's role in Morgan's death. Anna went and told Lulu and Laura about Valentin's role in the Chimera incident. Shouldn't they both have kept their mouths closed?

In truth, both cases are a he said/she said kind of story. Ava can say, "No, I didn't switch Morgan's pills. No, I never confessed to Sonny and Carly." Valentin can say, "No, I never stole the Chimera and sold it to Helena. Anna is on crack. None of that ever happened." Helena isn't going to show up in court and contradict him (assuming she's dead). Carly and Sonny didn't tape Ava's confession in the burning warehouse, so assuming both of these crimes are still open investigations, the two law enforcement professionals should stop blabbing.

In other crime news, Julian is out on bail and made a beeline for his wounded sister. Their relationship is so twisted and yet so fun to watch. Julian was willing to put his sister in jail for his crimes, but he didn't want her to be injured. #moblogic

Immediately after Diane cautioned Alexis to steer clear of Julian, Alexis ignored that advice and headed directly to GH to comfort him in his hour of need. While Ava isn't Alexis' favorite person, she was compelled to be there for Julian. I love these two together. I am weary of them being separated, and I want the writers to speed it up and do whatever writing acrobatics are required to reunite them.

Of course, if they need love advice they could always "Ask Man Landers" ... My dear readers, I know the writers desperately want to integrate Amy into the center of town, but she went from being a gossipy nurse, a fringe character, to now knowing basically everyone in Port Charles. She went to high school with Maxie and Dillon (who, if you are a long time GH fan, you know are not the same age). Maxie was born on the show in 1990, and Dillon in 1992. If they aged naturally, it would mean Maxie would now be 27 and Dillon would now be 25. Dillon dated Maxie's younger sister, Georgie, as you may recall. (Who was born on the show in 1995, which would make her 22.) Now, Kristina and Amy are suddenly fast friends, and if someone says she went to high school with them, too I would throw things at my TV because Kristina was born in 2002 and should only be 15. Haha. #SoapMath

Nathan is way too nice. If someone were using my photo on their column, I would charge them with identity theft and make 50 YouTube videos publicly calling them out. But I'm old, and no one wants to steal my photo. No one steals photos of Nanas for their love advice columns.

I'm really ready for Kirsten Storms to come back. I have to feel sorry for her; she has had repeated health issues since she started on GH, and I always miss her when she is gone. The good news in all of this is that Spinelli is heading back to Port Charles, and I'm hoping it's for an extended stay and not just a visit. Bradford Anderson brings such life and warmth and wit to the show -- he's always a welcome addition.

Another highlight this week for me was Kiki. When Hayley Erin first took over for the role from Kristen Alderson, I was unimpressed. That might be because I was sad to lose Kristen, as I was an old OLTL fan and had been watching her since she was a kid. But Hayley has grown on me, and I think she was superb this week. The scene where she hears that her mother's meddling in her love life cost Morgan his life was so poignant. The realization that "Morgan died because he loved me" and the pain and shock just washed across her face in a wave. So good.

Thankfully, she has Dillon to support her through this, but if I were Dillon, I'd lock up my meds now in case Ava gets mad at him someday.

In other news, the long cat and mouse game ended, and Curtis and Jordan finally made love -- and 20 seconds after Jordan got called to work, some chick named "Grace" showed up in the hallway, hitting on him. Seriously? Who is she? How do they know one another? Did I miss something? (It's quite possible.)

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Hayden's morning sickness make her puke on Roxy the bearded dragon? Will Alexis' first case back to lawyering be to defend Julian even though she swore she wouldn't? Will we ever be able to pretend Alexis isn't an alcoholic anymore so she and Diane can go back to their wine drinking hijinks storylines? Is Valentin taking Charlotte on a surprise trip to Disneyland Paris so they can speak French together on rides? Will Nina get custody of Charlotte when Lulu's portrayer goes on maternity leave? Will Spencer ever give Jake his actual birthday gift? Will Valentin record a CD and release it on iTunes for me to buy? Will Grandma Bobbie chase Nelle out of the hospital and out of town before Michael gets back from his errands?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.Tamilu

What are your thoughts on General Hospital? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.