Crocodiles and asses

Misery loves company, but apparently so does trouble because everyone is up to their asses in crocodiles. From a surprise pregnancy announcement to a diabolical kidnapping, it was a week filled with drama and trauma.

Things are bleak in Port Charles for many of our denizens, starting with Julian, who desperately tried to safeguard his loved ones from his crazy sister by slipping a little poison in Olivia's drink. Unfortunately for Julian, Olivia proved to have eyes in the back of her head and quickly figured out that her brother had spiked her drink -- and not with the good stuff.

I'm not quite sure why Olivia would expect anything less from Julian, especially when all she does is promise him a gruesome end and repeatedly threaten his loved ones.

More astounding to me, though, is why Julian even puts up with Olivia's nonsense.

In Julian's shoes, I'd have already cut a deal with the cops or turned to Sonny for help. Sonny would love to get his hands on Morgan's killer, so he'd happily do Julian's dirty work. I certainly would have clued my family in to the fact that my homicidal sister didn't die and was out for revenge and blood. As far as I can see, Olivia only has Rudge working for her because he does a lot of outsourcing to carry their out various plots, so how powerful can Olivia really be?

Sadly, the criminal dynamic duo of Olivia and Rudge is more than capable of outwitting most of Port Chuck's citizens, but not Jason and Sonny, because they're special that way.

While Jason was coming to the realization that perhaps Olivia Jerome hadn't died after being shot in the back, Olivia managed to lure Sam into a car and promptly took Sam for a ride in the snowstorm.

I was genuinely surprised that Sam even agreed to accept a ride from someone who admittedly rubbed her the wrong way. Sam was at the hospital, so her brother was just an elevator ride away. Why not hang out on Lucas' floor until Jason showed up?

The answer is simple -- lazy writing.

It would have been far more plausible if Olivia had tampered with Sam's car to make it stall on the side of the road, and Olivia had shown up to give Sam a lift because she didn't want to leave Sam stranded on the side of the road in the middle of a blizzard. Instead, we got a sloppily written plot device with Sam foolishly getting into a car with a woman who admittedly gives her the heebie-jeebies.

Shortly after Sam got into the car with Olivia, Olivia rambled on about her large family, their superficial and dysfunctional relationships, and the long break she'd taken to reinvent herself. Sam's eyes zeroed in on that ornamental tassel with the familiar Chinese lettering hanging from the rearview mirror, and it all suddenly clicked into place as she recalled talking to Jason about Julian's mystery sister.

I didn't expect Olivia to agree to pull the car over when Sam asked, but then again, Sam had made the request in the middle of nowhere, so it wasn't like Sam could get far from Olivia -- especially since Sam is nine months pregnant. Sam made it as far as the footbridge, where her nervous fingers dropped the cell phone as she tried to call Jason. However, Olivia caught up with Sam and gave up all pretenses of civility. Olivia snatched the phone out of Sam's hand and pulled out a gun, which she pointed at Sam while promising not to hurt her.

Sam knew better than to believe her crazy aunt and made a grab for the gun.

Naturally, it didn't end well for Sam because Olivia pushed her over the railing, and Sam ended up at the bottom of the footbridge, bruised and battered. To Sam's relief, Scout kicked, so Sam tried to scale the embankment, but that was like trying to climb Mt. Everest in a pair of roller skates, so she quickly tumbled back down to the frozen ground. Exhausted, Sam decided to leave it up to her superhero husband to save her, and she passed out.

It's a good thing that Jason is onto Olivia's wicked ways and is pretty certain that the eldest Jerome sibling is alive. Jason promptly enlisted Curtis' help to visit the Jerome family crypt and opened Olivia's tomb.

Curtis was hilarious during the crypt scenes because he basically was me if I were ever in that situation. I wouldn't want to see a rotting corpse, either, and the idea of having to look at one would have me freaking out just like Curtis did.

Nonetheless, Curtis was a better sport than I would have been and helped Jason. As Jason had guessed, the tomb was empty -- not even a cobweb was to be found.

Jason now knows that Olivia is on the loose, which means he's on the hunt down for her, especially when he realizes that Sam has disappeared.

It's unlikely that the writers would actually kill off Jason and Sam's baby, since Sam already lost a daughter, and this baby was named as soon as they realized that Sam was pregnant. Plus, it would infuriate a huge chunk of the viewing fan base, which would be ratings suicide at a time when ratings are essential.

I have every confidence that Jason will save Sam -- or someone will come along to find her just in the knick of time. There might be a few tense moments during an unexpected early delivery, but I have every confidence that Scout will make a full recovery and soon SORAS (Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome) her (I think the baby is a girl) way to adulthood.

On the drama scale, Olivia and Sam's showdown was a bit disappointing. I rate it a six out of ten, mainly because of Sam's fall over the railing, but I honestly expected more of a reveal. I want to know what Olivia was doing during all those years she was in hiding.

Was Olivia living in a cave, and what is the deal with her obsession to close the hospital?

I'm thrilled that the other Olivia -- Falconeri -- suggested that the Quartermaines cut out the middleman, which in this case are the hospital's board members and the ELQ shareholders, and buy the hospital privately. The family readily agreed, and after some number crunching, they pulled the money together to match Olivia Jerome's offer. Tracy and Laura were also clever enough to make certain that the sale was about doing the right thing for the community and saving the hospital rather than profiting. How the board will vote is anyone's guess, but it appears the odds are in the Quartermaines' favor.

However, it appears that Laura will not be at the board meeting because Rudge drugged her and was ordered to take her for a long drive. It seems to me that if a board member doesn't show to vote, then an effort would be made to contact that board member to get a vote. If anything, Rudge's stunt should only delay the vote, not shift the numbers to Olivia Jerome's favor.

I don't think that Rudge will actually kill Laura because Laura is a key character. She's been in far more dangerous situations, and a character with her history deserves a more respectful ending than being collateral damage in a war that has nothing to do with her.

One of my favorite moments of the week was Bobbie talking to Felicia on the phone when Felicia made it to Atlanta. I love that Bobbie is onto Nelle and that Nelle is completely underestimating both Bobbie and Felicia.

Folks, this week -- at the cabin -- convinced me that there's no way that I want to see a romance between Michael and Nelle. The writers dragged this out too long, and I can't stop thinking that Nelle might be his adoptive aunt. It's icky, and I want more for Michael than to have inappropriate relationships with older women, his brother's wife, and a possible adoptive aunt.

I also think that Sonny is a fool for not coming clean to Carly about Nelle because Nelle has made it clear by planting that bra in his bed that she's looking for trouble and has no qualms about letting Carly know Sonny is hiding a relationship-shattering secret.

Jason was right, Carly will be furious when she finds out, and she will need time before she's ready to talk, but she will ultimately forgive Sonny because a grief-stricken, drunken, one-night stand is not what will tear Sonny and Carly's marriage apart -- it's Sonny's lies that will be the end of them.

I also think Nelle's quest for revenge is lame and somewhat cruel. Carly just suffered the loss of a child, so trying to destroy what's left of her heartbroken family is like kicking a dog when it's down.

I despise animal abusers.

Speaking of abuse, Hayden figured out that Finn is an addict. Well, actually, she had quite a bit of help from Griffin, who told her about Finn's attempts to get his hands on pain pills and the symptoms of withdrawal that Griffin had witnessed while Finn was treating patients -- patients who had life-threatening illnesses like rare blood cancers.

That begs the question why a neurosurgeon and infectious disease specialist are treating a patient with cancer. I would think that an oncologist might have more experience treating rare blood cancer, but then again, I'm not a cancer expert.

I'm even more concerned that Robin isn't raising a huge stink over the fact that the best of the best isn't treating Anna, and Finn has vanished without a word. The only doctor checking in on Anna is Griffin, but he's doing that as a family friend rather than a doctor.

At Metro Court, Hayden not only found Finn, but she figured out what he was up to. She marched right over to the hotel and immediately found his stash of "Zen-Zen." Without missing a beat, Hayden made it clear that it was rehab, or she would walk. Finn insisted that he loved her and begged her for thirty days to try to get clean on his own, but she refused to be his enabler and walked out.

I applaud Hayden for not letting Finn manipulate her because even if Finn managed to kick the drug, he needs a sponsor to help him when he faces temptation. And he will. From what I understand, Zen-Zen is a heroin-like drug, which is highly addictive and hard to kick. That type of addiction also has a very high rate of relapse. He, more than most, needs a sponsor and support group.

Finally, could we see some residents from Pine Valley and Llanview pop up in Port Charles now that all the legal trouble with Prospect Park is behind ABC?

I sure hope so. I would rather have a character from One Life to Live and All My Children join the cast rather than have a new character appear on the scene. Not only do the AMC and OLTL characters have rich and interesting histories, but they could mesh well with the characters in Port Charles because Agnes Nixon had a hand in the creation of many of the characters from each of the soaps.

Also, I want a love interest for Anna. Andre is certainly a contender, but there was something about David Hayward and Anna Devane that I had always liked. There was real love and respect between the two, in part because they shared a child -- Leora -- who died in infancy from an unforeseen medical condition. There would be a treasure trove of emotional stuff to draw from between David and Anna if he were to make an appearance in Port Charles.

Imagine Valentin's reaction to Anna's ex-husband showing up -- and the feeling of ineptitude he'd experience if David were to save Anna from her cancer. David has always been a mad genius doctor, so it's well within his ability. Plus, he'd make Valentin feel inferior in every way because David can sense a person's weakness and enjoys exploiting it.

Curtis was right when he told Nina that what Valentin told Nina about Anna rejecting Valentin's advances suggests that Valentin would stalk Anna rather than the other way around. I think it's obvious that Valentin is in love -- or thinks he is -- with Anna. Nina's reaction on Friday, when he put his foot down about not charging Anna with breaking into Wyndemere, suggests that she knows it too.

Isn't that the same mountain cabin where Morgan had his breakdown and nearly carried out a murder/suicide plot with Kiki? Why would Carly book a romantic getaway with Sonny there of all places?

I'm still trying to figure out why Michael would drive a sports car up a mountain to a remote cabin in the middle of a snowstorm.

If Olivia has Leo's nursery under constant surveillance so she can check on him at any time when she's not at home, does that mean that Leo is confined to his nursery when he's not with his mother?

A few months ago, I asked for just five minutes in a room with Amy alone. Just five. At this point I would settle on three. Maybe even two minutes. Two minutes in a room, just me and Amy. GH would need DNA analysis to figure out who the hell she was when I got through. -- Stacy Logan

You'd think an art gallery would have surveillance cameras everywhere to prevent and deter theft or vandalism, and that Ava could EASILY back up her accusations against Sonny, which WOULD and SHOULD get him arrested, but of course, it'll never be spoken of again, because Sonny always gets away with everything he does, whether it makes any sense or not. -- Scrimmage

If Nelle and Carly are just adoptive sisters, then gee, it really is a coincidence that she's a perfect match for Josslyn's kidney, and Jax just happened to find her. Nope, these writers have no idea what they are writing from day to day. The only way this makes sense is for it to turn out that Carly was not John Durant's daughter after all but Frank Benson's. That would mean that she and Nelle are biological half sisters, and I guess Bobby had Frank as a customer. And perhaps he knew she got pregnant and arranged to "adopt" his own child. And perhaps Bobbie never knew. But no matter how this ends, Michael and Nelle getting together is creepy and gross. Whether blood related or adoption related, it's gross. End that now. Let Nelle find someone else. Bring Starr back for Michael. -- JMOM

I think it's possible that Nelle did not donate the kidney to Josslyn. Since Jax was involved in illegally procuring the kidney, he knows for a fact that she's lying. But he can't tell anyone, because it would reveal his crime. -- Julianna

Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts about the show. I love hearing from readers, so please feel free to email me or leave a comment below.

Until next time, take care.Liz Masters

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