Beware of balconies

Everyone wanted to get their hands on drugs, former soap stars campaigned, new Cassadines came to light, Kristina and Parker kissed and Nikolas fell of yet another balcony! What a curious week in Port Charles!

Readers, I started watching GH in the 70's and I can't even tell you how many people have either taken a tumble off a balcony, off a rooftop, or down the stairs in the past few decades.

Nikolas has fallen off of a balcony twice in the past couple of months, or at least he pretended to fall off. Is he dead? Is he faking his own death again? We don't know yet, but we do know that when/if Nikolas comes back, Nick Stabile will not play him any longer, as he bid GH goodbye via social media.

Mr. Stabile did a wonderful job filling in. I liked him. But like a kid in the middle of a custody battle, I felt that if I admitted I liked him, it would mean I didn't love Tyler, so I tried to stay neutral. I didn't want to write, "Hey, I really like the new guy!" in fear that ABC would say "Oh great, everyone likes the fill-in, so we don't have to settle Tyler's contract!" So out of loyalty to the decades of soapy wonderfulness Tyler Christopher has given me, I withheld my kudos. But, as temporary recasts go, Mr. Stabile was a winner. Some of you have written to suggest he comes back as another character, and that's not a bad idea.

Hopefully he won't come back as another bastard Cassadine, because we have plenty of those right now. For several years, we have heard about Valentin Cassadine, but I forgot all about him because that plotline was dropped for so long. But he's here, he's evil, and he's taken hostages. He is also susceptible to Ava's charms, although I doubt he will fall for the "I want to be your queen" business twice.

In all the commotion, Lulu ran off to get help, but without benefit of a Cassadine Island navigational system, she seems to have found herself walking around in a pile of skeletons. Let's just hope all the Cassadines down there are deceased and that crazy Stavros isn't on hand to try to come back to life to marry her again.

Dear readers, I have a girl crush. (Not the Kristina/Parker kind, just the mad respect kind.) Genie Francis hasn't lost one inch of talent in all these years. She is still mesmerizing. The scene where Ava told Laura that Nikolas died -- her face just fell in utter shock and grief. When she raged at Valentin for killing her son, every second was incredibly riveting. But she still hasn't learned about waterproof mascara... I hope they keep writing compelling scenes for her to play because she's too valuable to waste.

Kevin got shot trying to save her; I'm guessing he really regrets tagging along now. I just pray he pulls through. Upstairs, Jason and Sam are still locked away, and Jason hinted that there is a possibility that he might still be programmed to do Helena's bidding, so maybe Valentin is keeping Jason to use later as a secret weapon. It's hard to say.

In the younger actor category, Lexi Ainsworth has always wowed me too. For two full years after they let her go, I kept campaigning for her to be rehired. I didn't understand why they would recast a performer with her depth. Finally someone realized she was an asset and brought her back! She has been on the backburner for a while but finally made up for it this week.

Parker is in town for a few days to speak at a conference, and of course Kristina stalked her to her hotel. That part we all saw coming. What I didn't see coming was Parker's marriage falling apart, leaving an opening for her and Kristina to connect.

Readers, I have to mention this. When Lucas and Brad dated and had love scenes, I would get the most hateful, horrible letters in my inbox. Now that it's Kristina and Parker -- crickets. Except for a few guys cheering that two women kissed. I must know, why the different reaction? All theories welcome.

Kristina's biggest problem at the moment is that Sonny stopped by to pick up Morgan's meds and instead stumbled on Kristina kissing Parker. I wonder if he will still have Max beat Parker up now that he knows she is a woman.

I feel sad for poor Aaron. Not only is he really into Kristina, he now has a business that is entangled with her family. I think he will be shattered if Kristina dumps him. But such are affairs of the heart.

I can't predict which way this will go, because just as Kristina hasn't decided if she is straight, gay, or bisexual, we don't know, either, so I can't decide where she will end up.

In real life, Parker (Ashley Jones) is 40, and Kristina (Lexi Ainsworth) is 23. That's a pretty big age gap, so I don't feel like that relationship is totally sustainable. And don't send me hate mail about age discrimination. I just know that I work with people who are in their 20s, and I love them and they are adorable, but we have a limited number of things in common, and I'm their mom's age. Instead, I believe Parker will be a catalyst for Kristina to come to terms with her own blossoming sexuality.

Speaking of Davis women having sex, I am not convinced that Alexis is not pregnant. I think there is a possibility that she's pregnant, because I don't see any other circumstance whereby she would give Julian the time of day again unless she was having a child with him.

I have heard the GH writers say, "Don't count them out yet." But I have already counted them out because the writers took it too far. Once it crossed the line into physical abuse, kidnapping, and Julian having murder fantasies, it got a little too "O.J." for me, and I can't root for them anymore.

Back before there was Julexis, there was Rexis, and since we had a Ric sighting this week, I'm going to hope that Alexis and Ric reconnect, if only as friends. Molly would be happy for some Daddy time, too. I want more Ric! I posted some sweet old videos of the two of them on my Twitter account. Watch, and you'll agree they were precious.

I was also pleased to see Scott and Lucy this week. Sorry, Bobbie, but I have to admit I prefer Scott with Lucy because Kin Shriner and Lynn Herring just have that madcap chemistry, and they light up the screen together. Lucy is apparently another one of Raymond Berlin's victims and is now broke. Heather, on the other hand, happens to have large sums of cash. Coincidence? Who knows!

My beloved Soap Central guru Dan and I were playing a game during the Republican Convention this week; we were trying to guess which people in Port Charles were Republicans and which ones were Democrats. I can't tell you our guesses, because then you'd ask why, and let's just say some questions are better left unanswered. But if you want to share your thoughts, post away in the Comments section at the end of the column.

But just for instance, I would not have pegged Jagger Cates for a Republican, and yet there was Antonio Sabbato Jr. up on the GOP stage in Cleveland. This was seriously disconcerting to me. That's when I had to give myself a reality check and remind myself that the actors and the characters they portray are not the same people.

I recall seeing an old interview with Jackie Zeman, and she was at the grocery store, shopping for food, and a woman came over and started screaming at her and calling her a home wrecker for something her alter ego Bobbie did on GH. I had to remind myself of that story so I didn't scream things at Jagger while Antonio was speaking. Glad to see he got work for a night.

Someone else who got work is Jeffrey Vincent Parise. On this week's shows, he got to play both Ghost Carlos tormenting Julian, and Carlos' twin brother Jose (a.k.a. Joe.) It's kind of like the Superman/Clark Kent thing. Carlos is scruffy; Joe slicks back his hair. Carlos has a Puerto Rican accent; Joe sounds like he grew up in Philly. Carlos is a criminal; Joe is a doctor.

Odd that we never heard of Joe before, don't you think? Is this an Ava Jerome/Denise DeMucchio thing, or is Joe an actual person? Time will tell, I suppose. Odd how Sabrina the nurse didn't fall for the brother who was going to be a doctor, right?

This week had a lot of talk about drugs; Julian is drugging himself to appear ill so he won't have to go to prison. Finn wants to drug himself but can't get his hands on the drugs he needs without making a deal with Sonny. Sonny insists he doesn't deal in drugs, but he can point Finn in the right direction if he gets Julian healthy enough to stand trial. Hayden and Tracy aren't aware of this, so they hit up Hayden's mom to see if she can use her drug contacts to get Finn's drugs. Morgan forgot his drugs two days running, so we can only assume he's going to have another meltdown soon. Griffin notices that Finn is acting weird and probably suspects he is on drugs, but does nothing about it.

One more topic to tackle -- the messy love triangle starring Kiki/Dillon/Morgan. I'm not including Darby because we don't know her well enough to care about her yet. I find myself rooting for Kiki ad Dillon. However, I feel great compassion for Morgan and don't want him to be hurt, but I can understand why Kiki would choose Dillon.

Here's a hot tip: it's okay to choose the relationship that's less drama. Kiki and Dillon have a very sweet connection. They are happy-go-lucky. They laugh. They have fun. When Kiki couldn't leave the house after her shooting, it was Dillon who lured her back out into the world.

Kiki and Morgan have history, they were married, and they have endured lots of pain, infidelity, and struggles. Do they still love each other? Yes. But that doesn't mean it's not going to be hard. Morgan cheated on Kiki three times, once with her Mom, once with Darby, and once with her aunt (or so Morgan thought at the time). Not to mention that she got shot trying to rescue him from a manic episode as he wrestled with being diagnosed with bipolar.

If I were single and had such a choice to make, it would be a no-brainer. Choose the guy that lights you up inside. But Kiki, even without a wedding ring on her finger, feels obligated to stay with Morgan because "he needs her," and as stated, she does love him. But, in my humble opinion, Morgan is not the man that is best for her.I think it would be easier for her to choose Dillon if Carly wasn't in her face saying, "You'd better not hurt my son!" Carly's interference aside, I'm rooting for Dillon to win the girl this time. Morgan can have Darby or maybe Ava when she gets home.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? When Jordan and T.J. go to visit Shawn in prison, will we actually get to see him? Will Olivia and Lucas form an "I Hate Julian" club in the GH lounge? Will Heather be pleased with Franco's choice to spend her money sending Liz's kids to camp? If Liz's kids aren't already at camp, where have they been all summer? Will Father Doctor Griffin stop trying to get Finn to confess and just turn him in for having the shakes on duty? Will Lucy freak out when she sees Finn and accuse him of being a vampire, just for old time's sake? Will some other has-been soap stars give a speech at the Democratic National Convention, too?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.Tamilu

What are your thoughts on General Hospital? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.