Something is going on... but we don't know what

Scooby-Doo would have his hands (um, I mean paws) full in Port Charles because there are more mysteries to solve than one dog could handle. All the whispers and secret phone calls were hard to follow. Join our columnist as she tries to make sense of it all.

Dear readers, as you know, this is the weekend that we spring ahead an hour in time, which in San Diego is almost considered a holiday because it means we can get to the beach before the sun sets, which is what we do every night, all summer.

But I digress. "Spring forward" is the direction I would give to the GH writers if I were their boss. Why? Because there are too many mysteries, and I'm getting restless. But not young.

• Something is going on with Curtis, but we don't know what.• Something is going on with Griffin, but we don't know what.• Something is going on with Hayden, but we don't know what.• Something is going on with Tracy, but we don't know what.• Something is going on with Carlos and Sabrina, but we don't know what.• Something is going on with Andre, but we don't know what.• Something is going on with Paul (still), but we don't know what.• Something is going on with Baxter, but we don't know what.• Something is going on with Kiki, but we don't know what.• Something is going on with Helena's will, but we don't know what.

Readers, I like a good mystery as much as the next person, but I don't like 17 mysteries at once. So many whispers and secret phone calls and shadows lurking in buses and shoes whose bodies we can't see! I don't prefer when storylines drag on too long without any clues or resolution because what that says to me is that the writers haven't figured out what the mystery is yet in their own brains. It appears they are just stalling until they come up with something good.

Examples from last year: 1) Fluke. 2) Rosalie. "Nuff said.

I'll take a stab at unraveling the mysteries in a bit, but first, I want to heap praise upon the person I have deemed "Performer of the Week" -- Laura Wright. Ms. Wright is always on point, so sometimes I neglect to give her the continuous mentions she deserves. But this week in particular, I would be a terrible GH columnist if I didn't sing her praises.

Sonny lied to Carly again, and he hesitantly asked her, "Are you going to leave me?" and with the ache of all of their brokenness mingled with pure love in her eyes, she declared, "I would crawl through broken glass to be with you." Breathtaking.

This love story has matured, and Carly, thanks to the magnificent acting skills of Laura Wright, has matured with it. Carly used to fly off the handle, shout, and make rash decisions in the heat of the moment. She screamed 90% of what she said. But now, Carly pauses, takes it all in, thinks about consequences, and makes more measured choices. This takes a lot of control on Laura Wright's part.

Think about a singer, someone like Whitney Houston who could always hit the high note and hold it for five minutes at will. But what made her great wasn't just the high notes; it was the tender way she built up to those high notes that had your soul climbing with her as she got ready to fly.

In like manner, Laura Wright has the capacity to be fierce and fearless as Carly, but those tender moments are the ones that really get to me because she's choosing to subdue her power to make the moment genuine and believable. She's choosing to hold back for the sake of quality. I could list many actors who do not possess that gift, who just scream all their lines in everything they have ever been in, but that would be mean. Also, I realize all of her scene partners are worthy of praise, too -- but it's not their turn this week.

Now that I have my gushing out of the way, let's start on our mysteries.

Griffin. Here is what we know...He is following Anna. He has something against Sonny. He is a doctor. He's very pretty. What are your guesses? Here are a few of mine. Maybe he is a child of Duke's that Anna didn't know about. Maybe Robin had a twin that Anna thought died but really some villain had him all these years. Maybe he is the love child of Sonny and Lily, and she really never blew up in that car. Maybe he is Stone's brother, since he seemed overly interested in Stone. Maybe he's a WSB agent/brain surgeon. Does he know what he's talking about? Does Tracy have something other than cancer? Or is he part of the plot to steal ELQ and wants Tracy to die to get her shares? You just never know in Port Charles.

Next, Andre. He's a shrink working at the hospital and a secret agent... All these dual job guys remind me of Elvis movies. Elvis is a racecar driver and a singer! Elvis is a hula instructor and a singer! Elvis is a priest and a singer (and Tracy Q (a.k.a. Jane Elliot) plays a nun in that one! Seriously! I like the budding relationship between Andre and Jordan, but he has a bit of a spark with Anna, too. I can't decide which couple to root for. Neither Anna nor Jordan has been very lucky in love, so they are both due. However, I am holding out hope that Duke is still alive, so I will root for Andre and Jordan.

But then there is Curtis. Clearly he and Jordan have some sort of secret together. We know he used to be a drug addict and was somehow involved with the cops... (At least that was my understanding from all the insinuations and whispered conversations. What's up? Is he T.J.'s dad? -- If so, he'd be the third person to think that.) Did he kill T.J.'s dad and frame Shawn? Did Curtis and Jordan sleep together while she was married to his brother? Does T.J. have a half-sibling/half-cousin out there somewhere? Another dangling mystery with very few clues and a slow pace.

Now on to Baxter. We saw Baxter call Hayden "Rachel" in Las Vegas, but now he is lying and pretending he doesn't know her at all. Is he actually a financial investor or a scam artist? Is he working for someone who is looking for Hayden? I really don't care. I was just happy to see that when Sam (Kelly Monaco) was working him for information she got to wear an actual dress instead of skinny jeans and a tank top with a built-in bra.

Nikolas has asked Sam to stop digging, but Liz and Laura have asked her to keep digging. I think she will keep digging simply to satisfy her own curiosity and because she loves Spencer. Poor little guy. He's already lost a real mom and Britt.

Carlos is back on the radar, which can only mean one thing; Teresa Castillo's maternity leave is over. Sonny informed Michael that Sabrina willingly left the country with baby daddy Carlos. Michael seemed shocked, even though Sabrina lied to him abut everything else. I hope she is back rooming with Felix soon because I would love Michael to have something to do other than babysit Morgan.

That having been said, I find the bipolar storyline with Morgan to be quite compelling, and I hope that if/when Kiki wakes up, she can find her way to forgive him and help him heal and find wholeness again. I know many of you will scream at me and send me nasty-grams because he cheated on her multiple times, but it really is his illness. I hope she can at least agree to be his friend, even if she's not willing to sign on for a life of his ups and downs.

Now for some happy news: Dante and Lulu are going to try again and are hopefully leaving that freaking shoebox they live in. My husband and I lived in a place like that once; it was ten steps from the beach. It was so, so small. Our neighbor only had two things in his whole apartment, a beanbag chair and an Archie's poster on the wall. We envied his ability to live the minimalist lifestyle. But we concluded proximity to the ocean notwithstanding, we needed closets and rooms that were large enough to fit sofas into. Now we drive to the beach, and we're okay with that.

I love "Lante" together, and I am pleased the writers are having them do the thing a real couple should do in their situation and seek professional help. I have been married for 27 years, and I will tell you we have gone to counselors a few times. But that was when we were young, and the heat of passion and hormones had us in a cycle of fighting and making up. Now we are old, and arguing is too much energy and the biggest fights we have is what TV show to binge watch on Netflix and if we should get mushrooms on our pizza or not. I wish couples realized how sweet and comfortable marriage is 20 years in; more people might stick it out if they only knew. Dante and Lulu are on that path and finding out they can survive betrayal and forgive infidelity and lies if it means finding their way back together.

In other happy news, Rebecca Herbst re-signed her contract with ABC, meaning we get to keep Liz, Cam, Aiden, and Li'l Jake, although it will be a new Li'l Jake, and my guess is not quite as Li'l. Rumor had it that Becky was being courted by Days of our Lives, which makes them smart because she would have been quite a catch.

People think that because I wanted Jason with Sam, that meant I hated Liz. That is absolutely false. Liz is one of my favorite characters! It's just that I would rather see Liz with...almost anyone -- maybe Lucky (any incarnation of Lucky would do, Greg Vaughn is free, I hear) or Nikolas when he finds out Hayden is lying to him and he and Liz have consolation sex, or whoever Michael Easton will be playing, let's just call him NotSilas for right now. But Liz and Jason? After the lies and with Sam climbing on him anytime he lies down, it would be a hard fight for Liz to win.

I am a big fan of continuity on soaps, and I hope we get to keep Liz on GH until she retires. I am thrilled that she is going to be in Port Charles a while longer. I am still missing her friendship with Patrick though. Jason Thompson is on The Young and the Restless, and I have watched him, but I am still in the "Why is Patrick Drake in Genoa City" mode, and I can't accept him as Billy Abbott yet. This could be because there have been about a bazillion Billys over the decades, and it just makes me dizzy. This is not a reflection on Jason Thompson; he's a fine and engaging actor and doing his best to take on this new role, but I saw him as Patrick for so long, it's just hard to switch gears. That's only the half of it. I didn't just see him playing Patrick; I was deeply invested in Patrick Drake.

It's like Melissa McCarthy. I just adore her. I watched her as Sookie St. James on Gilmore Girls for nine years, so when she started branching out in other roles, I was thinking "Why is Sookie acting so naughty in Bridesmaids?" It took my brain a minute to see her as someone new.

The part of GH that was very hard for me to watch this week was Tracy's illness. Is it a brain tumor? It appears that way but the doctor's aren't 100% certain yet. But seeing Jane Elliot vulnerable, forgetful, timid, and scared -- readers it just wrecked me. I was crying through many of her scenes. I can relate to Tracy in some of her scenes in the crypt because, like Tracy, I am the last person standing in my immediate family. My dad, my mom, and my sister are all gone now, and like Tracy, I have conversations with ghosts, because when your parents are gone and you need parental advice, it's either talk to ghosts or go mad by keeping it all floating around in your head.

I feel a bit cheated, though, because Tracy said, "Alan?" in the previews. I was sure I was going to get to see Ghost Alan the next day and was hopeful for a Stuart Damon sighting. But instead, she just mistook Dillon for her brother. I know he's 79 now, but he'll always be Prince Charming to me. http://thelipstickchronicles.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8341c57f753ef0128771141e1970c-pi

I'm hoping Griffin is as much of an angel as he looks like and is a miracle worker who discovers what is wrong with Tracy and fixes it. Or, better yet, maybe Luke hears she is ill and comes out of retirement to come and visit her. Side note in the quest for mystery solutions, I'm wondering if Lord Ashton slipped something in the drink he gave her, because he was at one time partnering with Jerry Jacks, who has been known to poison people.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Sam cutting her hand on Jason's tombstone plaque be the omen of something bad to come at Helena's will reading? Will Dr. Mayes be jealous that Brad is flirting with Griffin and not him? Will someone remember that Jane Elliot is almost 70 and stop making her have fake seizures? Will Laura have any more good Gatsby-related slams for her new daughter-in-law Hayden/Rachel/Daisy? Will Spencer be coming home for the reading of Helena's will?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.Tamilu

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