50 Shades of "Nico"

Nina and Franco consummated their love, Lulu and Dillon got accused of doing the same but didn't, Johnny got a New Year's kiss and was busted by Maxie, Patrick and Robin married and headed West, Valerie flunked her police exam (good!), and Hayden has yet another secret identity! Let's begin unraveling all this in Two Scoops!

Dear Readers, I'm an old woman, but being old doesn't stop you from knowing when something is sizzling hot. Lawdy, Lawdy, I had to fan myself this week during the steamy lovemaking scenes of Nina and Franco. When Franco bit her on the shoulder I almost had to change my clothes.

Why did this scene create a universal meltdown of the Internet? Why were we all so turned on by two soap characters getting it on? It's happened a million times before. My opinion:

1) Because they truly, deeply love one another. This wasn't a one-night stand; it was true love coming to fruition. We have seen them build this deep foundation of commitment to one another. We have watched the weaving of their souls and this unbreakable heart connection forming long before clothes started falling to the floor.

2) Because they waited. Soaps have a bad habit of having people fall into bed together and then fall in love after -- like Nik and Hayden, like Sonny and Carly from the old days, like Johnny and Olivia back when she was a character I liked. But Nico did it the old-fashioned way -- they met, fell in love, and delicately danced their way into sex. The buildup and anticipation were thrilling, and we enjoyed the journey and celebrated with them when they finally broke free of all of their trials and insecurities and risked making love.

3) Roger Howarth and Michelle Stafford are just two passionate, sexy individuals. I bet the camera crew had to take cold showers after filming that. I just loved it!

Side note: If you are not on Twitter and are not following Michelle Stafford on Twitter, you're missing out. She is clearly enjoying this as much as we are and has been so sweet to engage with GH fans. She has actively joined in the discussion as we all obsessed over this key scene in Nina and Franco's (Nico!) love story. She's a delight!

I'm a huge fan of this couple, one of the best soap pairings in eons. These two characters are both mentally insane criminals, and yet I like them way more than most of the "normal" people in Port Charles. They have flair, and I freaking dig flair.

Next, the happy ending of Patrick and Robin. It was perfect! It was just the send-off we wanted for them, and yet -- we hated sending them off. Bittersweet, to say the least. Reader's, I can't lie, and I know you won't let me lie! I've been writing this column for over a decade, and if you've been reading it that long, you will know I have not always been a fan of the Robin character. In fact, I have been downright hostile about her at times. In recent years, she was far too sanctimonious for my tastes.

However, she's been on this show since she was a kid, and I used to adore her! In her teen years, I loved Robin when she was with Stone, when she dealt with her HIV diagnosis, when she initially befriended Jason after his accident. You know, when a different set of writers wrote her character a little softer. And that's the Robin I saw again this week, and suddenly, I fell in love with her character again.

The flashback scene of Robin and Patrick's love story left me ugly crying on my couch. It's funny to me how seeing old soap scenes unlocks something in my own heart about my own history; GH is so tied to my life. I've been watching since I was 17, and now I am 54 -- so 37 years of GH life mingled with my own. So, seeing those old teenage Robin scenes, I started thinking about being at home, watching GH with my Mama on her sofa, and part of my crying was less about Patrick and Robin and more about missing my mom because she watched those scenes with me.

Is that crazy, or do any of you know what I'm talking about? I will answer that question myself. I know some of you know what I am talking about because one of my dear friends, Lou, lost his wife a few years ago, and they watched GH together over the years. He has told me that when he watches GH, he still feels Lisa with him. GH was part of their own personal love story and something they shared. Those fictional characters n Port Charles were part of our families over the years, and we are tied to them.

I still feel so sad for those who loved the soaps that are now gone. The thought of losing GH wrecks me. I can't imagine coming home one day and GH not existing anymore.

But I digress. Patrick. Robin. Emma. I am glad they are going to California and that perhaps someday in the future, one or all of them will come home for a visit. Their ending was absolutely perfect, and I salute the writers for giving them the happy ending we wanted for them. Too bad the same writers weren't around when Luke left town...

I will miss Patrick Drake and his portrayer, Jason Thompson. Dr. Drake has been the steady, decent male hero on the show for a decade. He was our generation's Steve Hardy. The good guy. The nice guy. A brain surgeon who saved lives. Now, Jason Thompson is off to play the alcoholic, compulsive gambler, serial screw-up character Billy Abbott on The Young and the Restless. I can see how that would be more fun for an actor, but I will miss Patrick. Luckily, I watch Y&R, too -- so I will be able to at lest see his face. GH needs to hire a new doctor pronto. Maybe it's time for Steven Weber to get out of prison and come back, and Obrecht would totally hire a felon.

Another little bit of sadness is that Kimberly McCullough and Billy Miller had mad chemistry together up on that bridge, and it pains me that we won't get to see that blossom. I hope Robin comes home for a visit with Emma soon so she and Jason can have many more bridge scenes together.

Speaking of Kimberly, if you haven't read her blog post about the loss of her baby, you can find the link here. It broke my heart for her and made me want to hug her. But that would probably freak her out, and there would be restraining orders and what have you. Read it and send prayers, love, and good vibes in her direction.

Let's get back to Billy Miller. I suppose the fact that Jason has chemistry with Robin isn't so strange because he has chemistry with everyone. I told my husband, who pretends he doesn't watch GH, that I would pretty much watch any show that Billy Miller was on for the rest of time just because I find him so dynamic and compelling in every scene. He's got the "it" factor and an inner light. It's the same thing I always talk about with Michelle Stafford - in my humble opinion, they both have that je ne sais quois that makes you unable to take your eyes off of them!

As for Jason, Nikolas offered him a "get out of jail free" card, which Jason refused, because even without a clear memory of who he was in the past, he is choosing to be a man of integrity and honor. He would rather go to jail than make a deal with the devil. I like this hybrid Jake Doe/Jason Q/Jason Morgan guy. I can hardly wait to see what is next for him! I bet he could pass a police exam...

And it's sad that I am calling Nikolas the devil. I am so glad Jason referenced Emily to Nik because it gives me hope that she may still be alive out there somewhere in a Cassadine dungeon, or that Rebecca was really a brainwashed Emily all along! If Helena did that to "Jake Doe," maybe she did it to his sister first! I would wholly accept a rewriting of GH history to get Emily back. Why? Because Prince Nikolas needs to be redeemed and find his soul again, and Emily could guide him back to his true self. The Nikolas of old would not care about Spencer's legacy more than he cared about honesty and decency.

But there is a new twist to Nik's story: Who is Hayden really? How could marrying her ensure Nikolas' stake in ELQ? Is she a long-lost Quartermaine grandchild? Is she Celia Quartermaine's daughter? A long-lost love child of Alan's? I'm trying to guess and piece together the mystery, but I'm not sure I'm on the right path. It seems to me that if she were a Q, Tracy would have said, "You owe it to the family to get ELQ back." And she didn't. So, what are your guesses on this one?

The other thing I am guessing about is whether or not someone is really after Li'l Jake or if this is some elaborate ruse he has concocted to get his parents back together. Was a man really at the window on New Year's Eve, or does he have a hidden kiss-cam app on his phone and is going to create an emergency every time Sam and Jason's lips come within two inches of each other?

If the drawings he did for Franco are any indication, there are some serious issues with that kid that need the benefit of professional help to solve.

I am slightly suspicious of Liz, though, because when Jason spent the night, she had a suspicious smile on her face like an "Aha! My plan worked!" smile. I can't decide. Of course, there is a possibility that Jake is actually in danger, as he was kidnapped from that exact street before, so anything is possible.

In other news, Dante thinks Lulu slept with Dillon on New Year's Eve, when in fact she didn't sleep with anyone but had a nice juicy kiss with our favorite fugitive Johnny Zachara. I want to keep him. I don't want this to be a short-term visit. I know I probably won't get my way, but it sure is nice to have him on canvas. But now that Maxie knows he is there, the whole town will surely know, as she isn't a very good secret keeper.

I'm angry with Dante right now. What a hypocrite! He sleeps with Valerie on multiple occasions and then has the audacity to judge Lulu when he thinks she was with someone? I'm frustrated by this storyline. I don't know why Valerie is still on the show. I am just not invested in her at all.

I'd rather see Lulu and Dante have their embryo implanted and watch them awaiting their new baby. If you want to cause chaos in their marriage to keep things fresh, can it be something other than Dante screwing Valerie? Her character is incredibly boring to me. I find it hard to believe she grew up dreaming of being a cop and only enlisted in Police Academy when she was hot for Dante, who happens to be a cop. Other than her physical beauty, why would Dante be attracted to her? All I have ever heard her talk about was her deceased mom, football, and Dante. Who was she before she came to town? Why don't we ever see any indication that she had a life before she got to Port Charles? Zzzzz.

On the flip side, I find myself suddenly interested in Kiki and Morgan. I admit I was not an early embracer of Hayley Erin's recast of Kiki, partially because I loved old Kiki and had watched her grow up on One Life to Live as Starr Manning. At first, Hayley seemed too sweet and soft to play the feisty Kiki, but she's definitely growing into the role as Morgan's bipolar storyline has heated up. Her transformation started when Silas was murdered (I'm still mad about that! Hey, Y&R, while you're snapping up old GH stars, hire Michael Easton!), and she started down a road of real emotion. The drinking storyline was driving me nuts, but now that she's sober and trying to help Morgan, I find myself really moved by the two of them. Readers, do you agree?

Here's hoping that Lulu and Dante are back together by Valentine's Day. I guess I can bear this storyline for one more month.

As to other tortured lovers, let's talk about Michael and Sabrina. Since she is going on maternity leave in real life, I am assuming their relationship won't have any resolution soon. Maybe Carlos will kidnap her to Puerto Rico and Michel will spend six weeks trying to track her down. I have to admit I am disappointed that Carlos turned out to be the father of her baby. I really wanted this baby to be Michael's. I don't mind Carlos being back from the dead, but the rapidly growing baby thing was ridiculous.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Anna try to steal Andre from Jordan, since her family left town, she's lonely, and he's drawn to her insanity? Will readers flock to buy the green version of Crimson and make Nina a publishing star? Will Alexis read the book Boundaries to stop Olivia from inserting herself and her ugly sweater pictures into their home? Will the writers go back and watch Olivia when she was an actual interesting character and take her back to her roots? Will Sam and Jason ever get an uninterrupted moment, or will they have to wait for Valentine's Day, too?

Will Li'l Jake be hiding in the stables at Wyndemere like Spencer did when he pulled the same thing? Will Molly start going to raves when she moves into the dorms at PCU? Will Sonny remind Michael that it's okay that Sabrina is a liar because Carly is a liar, too, and he just remarried her for the fifth time? Will anyone ever notice that Ric is missing? Will anyone ever notice that Josslyn is missing? Will anyone ever notice that Cam, Aiden, and Spencer are missing? "Has anyone seen Flick?" Will Laura actually track down Luke to let him know that Helena has died and quietly stare out a window, reflecting on their history in flashback to appease the fans who think Luke got shafted in his sendoff? Will Uncle Mac become the new pastor at Queen of Angels?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.Tamilu

What are your thoughts on General Hospital? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.