Strange bedfellows

A romantic evening turned into a sleepover, enemies found themselves in bed together for the greater good, and Fluke vowed to lure innocent people to their doom by offering to host a party on the Haunted Star. Will Fluke's identity finally be exposed, and who will survive a night that seems fated to end in disaster?

I think it's safe to say that we should be careful what we wish for because we just might get it.

I can't tell you how many times over recent years I've read on message boards, blogs, Facebook, and even in emails that if so-and-so went to jail then so should everyone else because no one in Port Charles is innocent.

Well, dear readers, it looks like that is exactly what has happened.

As I watched Friday's episode, I realized that a good chunk of our denizens are currently locked up behind bars in one fashion or another -- Sonny, Julian, Franco, Ava, Madeline, Heather, Nina, and even Luke. Heck, even Anna is in danger of having to do some time for her crimes against Faison.

And if Jordan has her way, Duke and Shawn will soon be joining the rest of the gang.

This week, soapcentral.com reported that each of the soaps are expected to make major cast cuts, so it appears inevitable that there will be some departures from Port Charles. I've heard rumblings of one exit that is certain to surprise some and rumors of other exits that probably won't shock anyone because the characters are barely on anymore. However, I'm nervous that the party from hell that Fluke intends to host on the Haunted Star will cost the lives of one or two of my favorites, and that's something I don't want to see happen.

Characters who are guaranteed to be sticking around for the foreseeable future are Kiki, who had been recast with former Y&R star, Hayley Erin; Kyle Sloane; and Sonny Corinthos, but everyone else is on the proverbial chopping block because next week is shaping up to be a bloodbath with prisoners plotting a jailbreak, Heather learning that Nina is important to Franco, and Fluke putting a deadly plan into motion.

I think it's safe to assume that when all is said and done and the dust settles, Fluke will be among the casualties. Even I can see the Grim Reaper stalking him, and I have very poor vision. Helena might be killed again, too, but unless we see her decapitated and the devil himself accompany her to the fiery pits of hell, she will remain a wild card that could pop up out of another freezer sometime in the future. For that matter, the same goes for Jerry Jacks and Heather Webber.

Certain villains are fated to return again and again because they have a fanbase and a long rich history with Port Charles and the people in it. Helena, Jerry, and Heather are among the handful of villains that fans enjoy seeing return on occasion to stir up trouble. And before you say we don't need them, remember that a soap opera needs villains to keep things interesting. If everyone did what they were supposed to, they'd either be sitting in jail or doing ordinary mundane stuff like working and raising children. Pretty much what's happening now. It's the villains running amok who are giving everyone purpose.

Even though I absolutely despise Fluke, I am desperate to figure out the mystery of who he is before his identity is officially exposed. I want to have the satisfaction of solving that question to reward myself for putting up with this horrible character for what seems like decades. Sure, I could have fast-forwarded his scenes, but what kind of GH fan would that have made me?

Earlier in the week I began to suspect that Fluke might be Mikkos Cassadine himself, with a little reconstructive surgery, because he and Helena have a creepy lover's vibe going. Plus, there was that remark that Tracy made to Fluke when he was exchanging text messages with a surprisingly needy and whiny-sounding Helena who practically begged him to join her at Wyndemere. Tracy told Fluke to give his wife a proper good morning greeting, so he replied to Helena's text message. Clue or coincidence? On a soap, you can never be truly sure.

However, Fluke keeps mentioning Patricia, Luke and Bobbie's older sister, which tells me that she is somehow connected to all of this.

A true soapy-twist would be if Patricia was revealed to be Luke and Fluke's biological mother, who had been molested by her stepfather, Luke's abusive father. It's completely within the realm of possibility because it's been established that Patricia was old enough to go her separate way when Bobbie and Luke moved to Florida to stay with their Aunt Ruby. It would also neatly explain Luke and Fluke's identical appearance, Fluke's hatred for Luke, his constant references to Patricia, and finally, his alliance with Helena -- Luke's mortal enemy. It's that whole "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" thing.

I just don't want Fluke to be Bill Eckert because that would be anti-climactic at this point and way too predicable. Plus, I'm kind of tired of people making assumptions that are uncannily accurate.

I'm talking to you, Sam Morgan.

This week, Sam proved yet again that she's a cross between Wonder Woman and Lara Croft with a little Rachael Ray thrown in for good measure. Not only is she a topnotch private investigator -- who technically never got her license -- able to solve crimes that a team of police detectives and a retired international spy couldn't, but she can whip up an amazing gourmet meal simply by following instructions in a cookbook without so much as getting a single strand of hair out of place.

But wait, there's more. After making mad wonderful love with an incredibly sexy doctor who is over-the-moon infatuated with her, Sam heard a noise as the giggling pair left the bathroom after a frolic in the water. A noise so faint that only Sam -- and probably specially trained dogs -- could hear, but not Patrick. Gentleman that he is, Patrick indulged Sam by running around the penthouse in their towels, ready to face an intruder.

Now, it's true that someone was in the penthouse, but it's not as if Jake/Jason knocked over a vase. A normal person would have attributed that sound to nothing more than the usual creaks and groans one hears in our dwellings, but not Sam. She immediately thought intruder. Even more annoying was her reaction to discovering that her phoenix figurine was missing. She insisted that it had been stolen rather than simply misplaced. What?

There are two other adults who live in that penthouse, a teenage girl who hangs out with her teenage boyfriend, a housekeeper, and most importantly, a little toddler. Why in blazes would Sam leap to the conclusion that someone had stolen the figurine? Yes, it's true that it was stolen, but there was nothing logical about how Sam reached that conclusion. Perhaps if she had looked for it first or talked to the other people in the house, I might have bought her suspecting that it had been stolen, but that's not how it played out. She noticed it missing and promptly determined it had been stolen.

As an aside, I have never been able to tell the difference between the dragon and phoenix figurines, so I cracked up when Jake told Carly that he'd had a vague recollection of holding a toy, but he'd had no idea what it had been. I love Jake, so I'm hoping that he doesn't change too much when his memories of being Jason return.

I suspect that Jason's memories will return sooner rather than later, especially with Carly discovering that gun, ski mask, coat, and boots in his duffel bag. I can't imagine Carly standing by Jake if she thinks he helped Faison escape, especially since she just met him. The jig will be up for Jake when Kevin reveals that he never spoke to Jake, so Jake will need a get-out-of-jail-free card. Discovering that Helena brainwashed him will do just that.

Speaking of deceptions, I can't decide if Nikolas is truly embracing his dark side or if he's just playing his grandmother until he can uncover what she's up to. I know he was shown to rig the election by burning the ballots cast for Felicia in the fireplace, but I really want to believe that there was more to the story. Perhaps Kyle is actually a good guy pretending to be bad to expose Lomax's corruption and enlisted Nikolas' help. As luck would have it, Nikolas agreed because it gave him the perfect opportunity to show Helena that he was ready to take his place as the head of the Cassadine family.

I'm not too concerned about Kyle Sloane being bad because I'm not invested in him yet, but I do like Nikolas, so I really don't want to see him succumb to Helena's blackmail. I don't buy into that whole thing about bad being in Nikolas' blood because he's only half Cassadine. The other half is his mother, and while Laura might have made some poor choices over the years, she's a genuinely good person with a heart of gold. I've always seen Nikolas more as Laura's son than as a Cassadine, so if he leaned toward any side, it was his mother's good one.

I mentioned in my last column that I was annoyed with Dante for going behind Lulu's back to tell Johnny to stay away from her. I got a little flak for that because I was reminded that Dante was only trying to protect Lulu, but Lulu said it best when she told Johnny that she is Dante's wife, not his ward, so Dante should have discussed it with her.

However, I don't get Lulu's reasons for standing by Johnny when she knows how much it upsets her husband. She also knows, firsthand I might add, that Johnny was and will always be involved in criminal activity. It's the only thing he truly knows to do. Even if she believes Johnny's denials that he killed Anthony, it doesn't change that he's a dangerous business partner to have.

Dante has a tendency to be a bit of a bully, but he's right about Johnny.

Lulu is a mother now, so she should take every precaution she can to safeguard her son from violence. It's bad enough that Rocco's grandfather, Sonny, is a mobster, but to work with Sonny's rival just screams dumb and irresponsible.

As for Dante, I am impressed that he seems to be the only one who gets where Michael is coming from with Sonny. What Sonny did to A.J. was unforgiveable because A.J. was Michael's father. A.J. might not have raised Michael any more than Sonny raised Dante, but as Dante told Nathan, Dante will always love Sonny despite the terrible things Sonny has done because Sonny is Dante's father. Michael felt the same way about A.J.

In an interesting twist, Franco finally got out of solitary confinement just in time to discover that Sonny and Julian are plotting a jailbreak. Naturally, Franco wants in on it because he hates being in jail and is missing his BFF, Nina. Sadly, Nina remains crazy as a bedbug if her comments on Friday were anything to go by, so being at Shadybrook hasn't helped her one iota.

I really like the alliance between Sonny and Julian, so I'm hoping that whatever unlikely friendship they are forging will carry over when they get out of jail. If I have to hazard a guess, Sonny will be set free on a technicality after saving a boat full of people, and Julian will be cut loose after it's determined that he made a false confession about killing Anthony. He didn't do it, so there isn't a shred of evidence to link him to the crime other then a well-timed confession that spared him from an assassin's bullet. Heck, he was still in the Witness Protection Program at the time of Anthony's murder, so he has a pretty airtight alibi.

Why is there still furniture in the Spencer house? Specifically, Bobbie and Luke's parents' furniture. I don't care if it's covered in white bed sheets -- it's been almost 50 years since Bobbie and Luke were shipped off to Florida. From what I recall, the Spencers were poor, so most of that furniture should have turned to dust, and the sheets should have been consumed by moths.

It was adorable when Johnny and Maxie talked about babies and how Johnny had dreamed of being a father to a little girl named Harper, which happens to be Brandon and Kirsten's real-life daughter's name.

I can't blame Morgan for feeling like Michael is the favorite son. Even Sonny's enemies recognize that Michael, not Morgan, is Sonny's Achilles heel when they try to put the fear of God into Sonny. Why is Heather roaming the halls of Shadybrook with her history of escaping? I thought Shadybrook had built a special wing to keep her safely locked up and away from the general population because she's Michael Meyers homicidal crazy. Instead, she's sitting in the dayroom, playing board games with other inmates, looking refreshed and quite content.

Helena tells Fluke about Patrick spending the night with Sam when Jake was sent to kill Sam Fluke

: "Ah. Saved by the booty call."

Fluke makes an excuse to placate Tracy when he's busted exchanging text messages with Helena. Fluke: "I'm sorry, darling. But I'm in the fight of my life here with Scorpio. He just won 60 points in "Words with Friends" using Sheilas. Now, I ask you, where in the world is that a word, outside of Woolloomooloo?"

Lucas tells Elizabeth about his decision to run the free clinic that Michael intends to buildElizabeth: "Good for you. I'm glad you're getting involved."Lucas: "Aw, shucks."Elizabeth: "Maybe I can put in some time there, too. Be a welcome change from Stalag G.H."Lucas: "Michael hasn't even closed on the property yet, let alone broken ground, which is totally fine with me because I'm still having trouble getting up before 9:00 A.M. to get to work on time."Elizabeth: "Oh, poor baby. I'd play my teeny tiny violin for you, but Obrecht confiscated it."

Franco catches Sonny and Julian plotting a jailbreakFranco: "What's going on here?"Sonny: "What do you mean?"Franco: "Well, while I was wrongfully imprisoned inside a prison, you two have become close. Is that it? That's sweet. Are you Sonny's new prison wife? Does he like to call you Carly?"

What are your thoughts on General Hospital? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.