Upstairs, downstairs

What are those odd noises coming from the basement on Elm Street? Will anyone ever go down the stairs and end the nightmare? That is just one of the burning questions we explore in this week's Two Scoops.

Dear readers, there are certain things on soaps that drive me mad, and here's one of them: if you've watched General Hospital for any length of time, you may recall when Ric held Carly captive in his panic room. For weeks, she was chained to a wall, and for weeks, people would come to Ric and Elizabeth's house and almost see or hear Carly. Or Liz would almost push the button that opened the panic room door. She would even say things like "I wonder what this button is for?" but never push it. It made me scream at the TV.

This week, multiple people have gone to the old Spencer childhood home on Elm Street and been upstairs, heard noises coming from the basement, and walked away. Sure, Fluke explained he dropped something in the basement and got Bobbie off the trail, and Rosalie pretended that she twisted her ankle to get Michael out of the house before he opened the door, but what happens next? At present, Shawn is cowering in the kitchen upstairs and knows something is going on downstairs, but will he be able to open the basement door after Helena and Fluke conclude their meeting?

Perhaps, but I'll guess that won't be for a couple of weeks. What makes me confident of that timeline? Because here are the Nielsen Sweeps dates for 2015:• February (January 29 - February 25)• May (April 23 - May 20)• July (July 2 - July 29)• November (October 30 - November 26)

Historically, these are the dates when the plots you've been following for months finally give you the big payoff for which you've been waiting. And heaven knows we have been waiting for Fluke to be revealed and for Luke to come home for months on end. For the record, I'd like to remind you that I mentioned Bill Eckert as a Fluke candidate months ago, and everyone sent me messages telling me I was crazy because Bill was dead. But now I'd like you to admit it's looking like I might have been on the right track!

And you know what? I'm fine with that. As impatient as I get, I want GH to get a huge share of the ratings on the weeks they are counting to ensure that GH stays on the air for 50 more years.

The best thing about GH right now is that Ron Carlivati and Frank Valentini have given us a GH that is rich and layered and filled with history and familiar characters year-round. I'll let them lead me around by the nose for months and only whine a little bit because I so love what they are doing with my most beloved show.

Eventually, Luke will be found. Eventually, Jake will be revealed as Jason. Eventually, Maxie will spend more than a day with Georgie, but probably not next week.

At present, all of Port Charles is in turmoil all the way up to City Hall. Rigged elections, the police commissioner being ousted, stolen ballot boxes, and our local Prince Charming, Nikolas, apparently going over to the dark side.

I've heard from many of you this week, and there are three competing theories floating around about Nikolas. 1) He is actually fed up with the heartbreaks of his life and is truly partnering with Helena. 2) He is a victim of her evil brainwashing academy and is under her spell. 3) He is merely punking her and playing along to find out what she's up to and is really working to uncover her evil schemes.

I could be happy with any of those three outcomes, because I trust in the heart of Nikolas, and I know all it would take to snap him back into being a good guy is a little love. When Emily's name came up, I had a brief flash of "What if Helena has Emily or Courtney in her freezer?" Wouldn't it be great for Spencer to get his mom back, or for Nikolas to get the love of his life back? Every time they mention someone we think is dead, I get hopeful that they are just chilling on ice on Cassadine Island.

But I digress. Why on earth does Nikolas care who the mayor is, and why would he want Anna ousted from the police force? But the bigger question I have is why would Agent Sloane, who was a federal agent, leave his cushy James Bond-like WSB job to become the police commissioner in some small town in upstate New York? That doesn't seem like a very prudent career move.

Speaking of career moves, Lucas is suddenly a doctor. Sure, we found out about a month ago, during a conversation with Lucas and Bobbie, that he had gone to medical school, but I admit I was surprised when I saw him in a lab coat, standing behind the nurses' desk at GH. My husband, who pretends he doesn't watch GH, said, "Look, Lucas' first day as a doctor, and he's already ordering unnecessary tests!" when Lucas insisted Rosalie get x-rays for her faked ankle sprain. I like the idea of giving Lucas a job and ways to interact with more characters; I just wish they had unpacked the backstory of his medical school a little more thoroughly, but again, I always just suspend my disbelief and go with it because I'm solidly in love with GH.

As far as Rosalie goes, I am not sure that Helena will get her money's worth from their alliance because Rosalie has a little crush on Michael. I keep trying to guess what her secret is, but we know so little about her that it's hard to guess. Is she related to someone in Port Charles? Hopefully she's not one of Sonny's kids. Maybe an Alcazar? Maybe she's somehow connected to Nina and Silas? I can't decide what the big secret is that could make her life subject to blackmail for both Nina and Helena's bidding.

Here's the thing about blackmail: I don't understand why anyone allows it. I would always rather have my secrets come out than be under someone's thumb. If anyone tried to blackmail me for my deep, dark secrets, I'd say, "Go for it," and if everyone in my life shunned me for whatever I'd done wrong, I'd move to some small town in Montana and get a job as a barista and start my life over rather than ever be someone's puppet. But that's just me. Rosalie must have a really awful secret. I also feel bad for Michael because he has been lied to by everyone and has no one to trust, and this person he thinks is his friend is also lying to him. Oh, my goodness, I want him to find love and look happy. His sad puppy look really gets to my Nana heart, and I just want to bake him cookies and hug him.

As to Michael's adopted dad, one of my favorite things right now is the unlikely alliance of Julian and Sonny. Obviously there is bad blood between them, but for the sake of the safety of their families and of themselves in Pentonville, they have had to work together. I know Julian will get out eventually, because his confession was false and he didn't kill Anthony Z, but Sonny, on the other hand, did kill A.J., so I don't know how they are going to write him out of prison. Since Maurice Benard signed a new GH contract (Yay!) we know he has to get out eventually, but I have been wracking my brain for loopholes and have failed to find a legitimate way he can be released.

As things currently stand, Jake/Jason might end up in prison before Sonny gets out, since Helena has "asked" him to kill Sam. Since Jason was previously a hit man, it's not like he hasn't killed before, but he never tried to kill his own wife before. Obviously they won't really let Jake kill Sam, but how and who will stop it? Will he suddenly remember her as his wife right before he pulls the trigger?

I wish Jake had gone to see Dr. Collins, but apparently Helena has Kevin tied up someplace so she can use his office for her brainwashing studio? I haven't seen him for weeks, so it's hard to say where she has him stashed.

Lucy doesn't seem to notice he's gone, though, as she is canoodling with Duke as they both lick their wounds of the past year's heartbreak. But the good news for Duke is that since Anna has been fired as police commissioner, they are no longer on opposite sides of the law, and Anna can enlist Duke and his illegal operations to help her find out what is going on at City Hall.

In the meantime, the one who is having the most trouble with Anna's ousting is Jordan, who is now without protection or backup in her undercover mob job. My husband and I were laughing about how Anna and Jordan were standing out in public on the docks, talking out loud about her "deep cover" operation, where anyone can hear them. Don't they teach spies common sense? I can't decide if Mayor Lomax is a partner with the League of Doom, or just a really ambitious and underhanded politician. All I know for sure is that she's a witch.

Another thing I love on GH right now is some good old-fashioned romance and some rich friendships reemerging. Sam and Patrick are about to consummate their relationship after months growing close as they investigated the cause of Gabriel's death. Both of them have lost the loves of their lives (or at least think they have), and I'm happy for both of them to find love again.

Nathan and Maxie are together after an entire year of us rooting for them as a couple, and it's just as satisfying as we knew it would be. I was always a Spixie fan, but I think Nathan might be the best love match Maxie has ever had on the show. They're wonderful together. Rumor has it that Spinelli might be coming back to Port Charles, but I don't know if it's only for a visit or for good. Time will tell and I'm not sure how I will feel if he rallies to get Maxie back!

I'm also really invested in the budding friendship between Jake and Carly, which of course in reality is her best friend Jason. Is that why it's so easy with them? I wonder if my BFF had a new face and memory loss if we'd still hit it off and connect right away? But that won't happen because we aren't on a soap opera.

In my last column, I noted that Dante and Lulu were the only stable couple in Port Charles, but I spoke too soon because I didn't know Johnny was going to roll into town and sweep Lulu off her feet with shots and a hint of danger. Man, I loved when Johnny and Lulu were together years ago. They were electric. But, I don't want Lulu and Dante to break up, so my feelings are as confused as Lulu's right now. May I just add that Emme Rylan is a delight? In fact, in general, GH scored big with all of its Y&R steals -- Billy Miller, Emme Rylan, and Michelle Stafford are all wonderful in Port Charles.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Liz realize that Jake's duffel bag looks really heavy for gym clothes? Will Nathan and Maxie have more scrambled egg-spilling sex? Will Nikolas take Helena up on her advice and call Brook Lynn for a date? Will Sly Eckert still have that cute little freckle on his nose when he comes to sign the Elm Street house over to Michael? Will Michael find a better site for his clinic than a creepy abandoned house where his grandma was abused as a child? Will Fluke really use Bobbie's head for batting practice? Will Alexis take her overnight bag to Julian's place, since he and Ava are both in the slammer? Will Felicia write a Mary Poppins letter that makes all the burned ballot pieces merge back together in the sky and land at the registrar of voter's office?

What are your thoughts on General Hospital? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.