Double, double, toil and trouble

Fluke is still running amok without anyone being the wiser, Jason is under Helena's spell, Ric vanished from the Witness Protection Program, and Sonny learned the hierarchy of life behind bars, compliments of Johnny Zacchara and crew.

Well, dear readers, it looks like Nikolas is in desperate need of his Grandmother Helena's help, at least when it comes to keeping young Master Spencer in line.

My favorite scenes this week were on the piers when Liesl and Britt met up with Helena. I don't like Britt, but I do enjoy Liesl and Helena. I became a bit giddy with joy when Helena started to hold Britt accountable for Britt's role in Spencer's cockamamie plan to reunite Britt and Nikolas by running away. Fortunately for Britt, Spencer's timely arrival spared her miserable hide from Helena's wrath.

Helena was great with Spencer. It was amazing to see how well he listened to his Granny Hella and returned home as she had ordered. The expression on Spencer's face when she scolded him was priceless.

Although, I do question why Spencer didn't recognize his great-grandmother. Did Nikolas take a Sharpie to all the family photo albums and massive portraits hanging throughout the castle?

I was also a bit surprised by Cesar Faison's easy acceptance of Liesl having a sexy lovechild -- a much-coveted son at that -- with another man. If I were Liesl, I'd approach Faison with a great deal of caution, despite his assurances that he's seen the light and is deeply in love with her. That man is notorious for plotting revenge against those he feels wronged him.

Normally, I would be sad to see Faison go because he's an entertaining villain, but this time, I was delighted because Faison took Britt with him.

It's no secret that I never warmed to Britt. My main issue with her was her inability to truly own up to her transgressions. She only coughed up the truth when she was forced into a corner, and even then, she always tried to minimize her actions and mitigate the damage by painting herself a victim in some way. She was driven to it, deeply hurt, or acted out of desperation and love. Whatever the reason, it was never quite her fault.

The truth was that Britt did all the horrible things she did because she wanted what she wanted regardless of the cost. The end always justified the means for Britt, and her deepest regret was never that she had hurt others but rather that she had been caught.

I also remain convinced that Britt has a secret gambling habit or shopping addiction because Britt's excuse that she couldn't afford her own place due to excessive student loans from medical school had more holes than a giant sieve. Britt wasn't a doctor fresh out of medical school; she was a brilliant and successful gynecologist with a thriving practice. Mutter made sure of that by keeping Britt on at the hospital after the theft of Dante and Lulu's frozen embryo.

Regardless, Britt is gone, and she's now Faison's problem. I wish him luck -- may the force be with him because he will need it.

Back to Port Charles. I love Helena's returns, whether they are from the dead or the deep, dark caves where only bats and evil Cassadines dwell.

Villains like Helena, Jerry Jacks, and Faison are vital to soaps because they are ruthless, cunning, witty, and completely beyond redemption. They don't pretend to be anything other than what they are -- utterly evil. They keep things interesting and are the perfect foes for the various heroes and heroines we like to cheer on.

When Helena is in town, most lock their doors, hide under the covers, and wait for the Angel of Death to pass, except for a few select brave souls who dare to face off with her.

I'm not the least bit surprised that Helena has resorted to exerting mind control over Jason to turn him into her "soldier-boy" toy. It worked quite successfully for a while with Lucky, so of course she found a more effective method than lugging around a great big diamond. Hopefully, Sam doesn't alienate Elizabeth too much because Sam is going to need some tips on how to break Helena's grip on Jason. Helena is not the type to give up a prized weapon like Jason easily.

Then again, it's possible that Jason will save himself because, as Jake, he seems to recognize on some level that something is off with him. Sam does, as well, thanks to Jake using a popular phrase about time when he briefly held her hostage and then again when he talked to her at Metro Court Restaurant while he waited for Carly to arrive.

That Sam is one smart cookie and a top-notch private investigator, even though she technically never got her license. I suspect that the cops wished they could be a quarter as good as Sam. *Sarcasm*

Please, someone, for the love of all that is good and decent, give Anna a Snickers bar, pronto! I'm tired of seeing one of my favorite characters abuse the justice system as she has in recent months. She arrests Julian whenever the whim strikes her yet lets Duke (whom I dearly love) waltz out of her office after he openly confessed that he was taking over as mob boss for Sonny.

Anna is one of the good guys. The mess with Faison can be attributed to temporary insanity, but her inconsistent enforcement of the law just makes her look bad. Frankly, as much as I adore Anna, I think she should resign as police commissioner because her conduct has been terrible of late.

Maybe Anna, Sam, and Jordan can open their own P.I. agency together. They can call it Port Charlie's Angels.

Meanwhile, Nikolas made a beeline to Liz's place just hours after giving Britt the boot then turned all caveman on Liz when he found out that Jake, the hot, mysterious patient from the hospital, was staying with her.

I almost feel sorry for Nikolas because he doesn't realize yet that there is soon going to be stiff competition for Liz's affections when Ric returns to town, especially if Jake's flirtations with Liz turn into more than banter.

I have been a fan of Liz for years, so I love that she finally has some really good and interesting options for a love interest. I can honestly say that I wouldn't be disappointed no matter who she ends up with, although if it is Nikolas, then he better work hard for it.

Nikolas will have to because I think the frontrunner for Liz's heart will be Ric, not just because she regrets turning her back on him -- especially now that she knows that he was innocent -- but also because of what he's likely going through since his disappearance from the Witness Protection Program.

Sam also has options, and frankly, they are equally appealing. I wouldn't be the least bit heartbroken if she ended up with Patrick instead of Jason.

I just don't want Jason to end up with Carly. I'd rather stick toothpicks in my eyes than watch Jason warm Carly's bed.

Both Rebecca Herbst and Kelly Monaco have oodles of chemistry with each of their leading men, so it isn't a matter of one couple having more of a sizzle factor than another for me. They are all hot for different reasons, which is why I want to see the men woo these two women with lots of delicious romance and steamy seduction.

I'm tired of the days when the women chased after the men on this show, which is one of the reasons that I love Julian and Alexis so much. It's refreshing to see a man who is so completely devoted to a woman that even when he thinks he has lost her forever, he doesn't see any other woman.

There are a lot of beautiful women in town, but Julian only has eyes for Alexis. I find that incredibly sexy.

I have no idea what the writers have up their sleeves for Jason, but I really like this new version of him. Billy Miller is doing a fantastic job of showing us a new side of Jason while at the same time giving us glimpses of the old Jason. It's subtle but effective.

There's warmth to this incarnation of Jason that the previous one lacked and an easy and quick sense of humor that has Jason smiling far more than he did in the past.

In short, Jason is no longer the Borg, and I like that.

This week, we learned that Jason has been conditioned to follow Helena's orders, so the efficient killer is still inside Jason. We also saw during the scenes with Carlos, when Carlos confronted Carly at Metro Court Restaurant, that Jason's catlike reflexes and skill as a bodyguard are also still very much present. Yet despite that, he seems to have a better sense of right and wrong than he had in the past. Jake wasn't interested in Carly's offer to join her security team at the hotel because, in his words, "I'm a lover not a fighter."

Ideally, Jason will reinvent himself as Jake Quartermaine then team up with Michael against Sonny.

Speaking of Sonny, he's been having a pretty hard time in jail. I know that I should feel sorry for Sonny, but I really don't. I think he's getting exactly what he deserves, not just because he killed an innocent man when he shot A.J. but because Sonny has gotten away with countless murders in the past. Contrary to the little fairytale Carly told Jake, Sonny did not kill A.J. because A.J. had been strangling Ava in a drunken rage.

A.J. had let go of Ava, the woman who had framed A.J. for a murder she had committed, and was trying to tell Sonny the truth when Sonny pulled the trigger and fired the fatal shot.

Carly can tell herself that Sonny was justified in killing A.J., but it doesn't make it true. Smearing A.J.'s memory by accusing him of being a raging alcoholic who left a wide path of destruction his wake is exactly why Michael will not forgive Carly. Until she can let that go, respect that Michael loved A.J., and take full responsibility -- like Sonny suggested -- for lying, Michael will not be a part of her life.

The most disappointing development of the week -- other than Fluke still being around and his identity remaining a mystery -- was the revelation that my sweet, misunderstood Johnny has become a monster in prison. I did not expect Johnny to be behind Ric's abduction. What? How does a prisoner become so powerful that they are able to infiltrate the Witness Protection Program to not only locate someone but kidnap them without anyone having a clue?

I have a feeling that there is a lot more going on with Johnny than meets the eye. No way do I buy that Johnny is working alone. Could Fluke and Helena be helping? It wouldn't surprise me.

Back to Sonny; I don't condone abuse, and I hate seeing characters lash out in violent rages as Sonny is wont to do whenever he's upset and drinking. However, violence as a form of well-deserved justice is a different matter.

We all know that Sonny won't remain in Pentonville for long because this is a soap opera, and Maurice Benard is a leading man. By this time next year, Sonny will be hanging stockings from his chimney with care and getting ready to ring in the New Year with his lady love du jour -- whether that is Carly or someone else.

It's for that reason that I am okay with Sonny getting his arse kicked by Johnny's goons in jail. It's the only real punishment that Sonny will face for the cold-blooded murder of A.J.

Given how many times Spinelli has hacked into the police department's computer system, why haven't they charged him? Or better yet, notified Judge Walters, who seems to value honesty and decency above the welfare of a child?

The baby they cast as Ava's infant daughter is absolute perfection. That smile she flashed at Ava during Ava's dream melted my heart. I hope that Uncle Julian ends up raising her rather than Kiki, Morgan, or -- knowing Sonny if he turns out to be the father -- Carly.

The "cell phone" footage of the shootout was hilarious. It was as if a professional cameraman had been standing right there in the middle of everything. It truly is a miracle that the "bystander" wasn't shot.

What in blazes happened to Sonny's hair? He had so much goop in it during Carly's visit that I was completely distracted as I waited for a glob of whatever had been dumped into his hair to slowly slide down the side of his face while he was breaking up with Carly.

Was it me, or did Nikolas seem a little miffed that he was the last to know that his grandmother was in town and a tad bit hurt that she hadn't stopped by the castle for a visit?

Spencer is introduced his is infamous great-grandmother, Helena Cassadine Spencer

: "Father said I'd know you by the snakes in your hair."Helena: "They only come out for naughty little boys who don't mind their manners. Now tell me, are you one of those?"Spencer: "No."Helena: "'No, what?"Spencer: "No, great-grandmother, ma'am."Helena: "Needs work."

The writers give the fans a shout-out when Fluke reads the newspaper's headlineFluke: And I see they're sticking to the fluke thing." [Chuckling] "It's catchy. 'Fluke.' But it's not accurate. It's no fluke that I'm here."

Franco tries to persuade a fan that he is not FrancoZoe: "I totally get it. You're keeping a low profile. But now that I've seen you up close twice, I know for sure. You are definitely the artist, Franco."Franco: "No, I-I-I get this thing all the time. I -- I just have one of those faces. You know, there's an actor who kind of looks like me."Zoe: "Oh, stop. There is one Franco, and that's you."

Until next time, dear readers, take care. Liz Masters

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