Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side

While Silas learned that Nina could walk, Judge Walters told Maxie to pretty much take a hike (away from Nathan, that is). Madeline and Liesl were both sprung from the slammer, while Franco prepared to slam Carly and Sonny. What was your favorite surprise on this week's General Hospital? Let's discuss in this week's Two Scoops.

Dearest Readers, this has been the soapiest of soap weeks, filled with everything I love about soaps: campiness, absurdity, laughter, romance, and unexpected surprises.

I thought Nina would be rolling around in that wheelchair for months, but finally it's over. Silas saw Nina sprinting through the corridors of General Hospital, chasing Franco, and her tower of lies came crumbling down around her.

She honestly confessed she had been able to walk but had pretended to be in a wheelchair for fear of losing Silas, but she lied about the timeline. Thankfully, Silas isn't a moron, and he is beginning to investigate, think back to all the lies she told along the way, and put the pieces together.

Why was she running? Because she was chasing her new BFF, Franco, of course. As crazy, manipulative, and needy as Nina is, I don't know if she had an old BFF. I certainly wouldn't volunteer for that role.

Upon learning the news, Silas called Sam and sheepishly admitted that she might have been right about Nina faking her immobility. Sorry, buddy! Too little, too late. The fact is, Silas didn't believe Sam when she mentioned the possibility that Nina was faking her injuries. It's a matter of respect and trust -- he didn't respect Sam's opinion enough to even consider the possibility that she was onto something. Boo. Now we just need Silas to figure out that Nina was the one who gave Rafe cash.

But I can't linger here too long; we have too many things to discuss! I have 17 topics on my outline of things I want to mention!

We have talked about the chaser; now we must talk about the person who is being chased: Franco. Readers, were I to be engaged to a very handsome former serial killer and he presented me with a gift of a giant creepy eye necklace, I would politely decline. Would you wear that hideous thing around town? Ewww! As soon as he put it on her, I knew it was a camera, didn't you? How did Carly not know that? Oh yeah, the writers are making her stupid. Historically, Carly had sharp instincts and could see B.S. from a mile away. She has always had internal radar about such things. But with Franco, she is buying every fake smile and every calculated lie. I can't decide if it's just sheer stubbornness because she doesn't want to admit that Sonny is right about Franco or if the writers have just decided to make her stupid.

The real match made in heaven is Franco and Nina -- did you see her eyes light up with glee when Franco showed her his creepy spying app? They are both kind of off-center, slightly mad human beings, and they have sizzling chemistry. Here's rooting for their current relationships to implode so they can get together and combine their madness.

I am also impatiently waiting for Nathan and Maxie to get together, and things were looking good until Judge Walters decided to involve himself in their date. Readers, is this even legal? Can a judge say to you, outside of a courtroom -- "If you date this guy, I won't give you custody of your child?" Can't one of PC's finest attorneys file some sort of motion or injunction to help get the judge out of Maxie's business? Women who have committed far worse sins than Maxie keep custody of their children.

Plus, Spinelli lives in another state. Why doesn't Maxie just hop a flight to Seattle and visit Georgie on the sly? Does Judge Walters have a dog-tracking microchip implanted in Maxie? The whole storyline is irksome and unbelievable. She better have that baby (and Nathan) in her arms before Christmas.

I wonder if "Jake" will know his real name by Christmas? And what name will he recall? Jason Morgan or Jason Quartermaine? Oh, wouldn't it be delicious if it were Jason Q and he could ditch Sonny, Carly, and the mob and become the entitled bon vivant that we know Billy Miller can play? But, he does remember Liz and Jake, so maybe his new brain injury melded the two sides of his brain together! Wouldn't it be fun if he remembers both the Q family and his mob roots? I have to say, even under heavy bandages, I can still see Billy Miller's beautiful face. So glad he is in Port Charles!

Another recent arrival in Port Charles is Madeline! How on earth did she get out of jail and into Nathan's apartment? I can hardly wait for Monday to come so I can see the ensuing scenes between her and Liesl, Nathan, and most of all Nina! I watched Donna Mills on Knots Landing back in the day, and I watched Michelle Stafford as Phyllis on Y&R -- so I know they are both capable of a good old-fashioned catfight. Let's get ready to rumble! Meow!

Two beautiful ladies that have ceased and desisted with the cat fighting are Lulu and Maxie, and I'm so happy to see their friendship back on track. It's rare for soaps to portray solid female friendships. There are usually more rivalries and adversaries than friends, so it warms my heart to see two women on the show who like each other, are rooting for each other, and are walking through life together. Last week, I attended a conference in Las Vegas for Executive Assistants, and they had a whole section of teaching on women learning to collaborate rather than compete. A lot of ladies in Port Charles should take that class!

For instance, Bobbie and Lucy... ladies, ladies, ladies -- Scott really isn't that great of a prize. Bobbie should dump Scott and go hit on Doc instead, I'm sure Lucy wouldn't mind, since she wants Scott, right? Ha! She'd lose her mind. She wants both men pining for her and for Bobbie to have no one. I think she will get her wish because as soon as Franco finds out that Bobbie knew about Sonny and Carly cheating and lied to him and Scott -- he'll rat her out, and Scott will scamper back to Lucy. Unless Laura comes to town, and then all bets are off.

I wish Laura would come to town because she would have sniffed out the whole Fluke thing in three minutes flat. Heaven knows what is happening to our real hero, Luke, strapped to the wall in Miscavige while Fluke is roaming around Amsterdam, eating Space Cakes and causing trouble. I still can't decide who Fluke really is under there. I change my opinion regularly. And where is Heather in all this? I heard Robin Mattson was coming back but haven't even heard her name mentioned yet. Will she be the one to free Luke?

Hot in pursuit of Fluke, Patrick and Sam shared a bed, but no hanky-panky, except in Sam's dreams. Sam is a more loyal sort than Patrick -- she is still nursing her broken heart over Silas and has never wholly let go of Jason. I think she could go for Patrick, but it might take a minute for her hart to catch up with her desire. Patrick, on the other hand, treats Sabrina like a girl he went to school with and never seems to have any reaction to her as the woman he was at the altar to marry when his supposedly dead wife showed up. And he's clearly done with Robin now. (Huzzah!) I have to say I am glad Helena has Robin locked away somewhere so I don't have to see or hear her.

I feel bad for Tracy. Tracy loves Luke and doesn't want to believe he is capable of the things people are accusing him of, but when Fluke shows up and is capable of those things, Tracy will be crushed. She won't know Fluke isn't Luke, at least at first, and it will break her heart. When real Luke and Tracy finally reunite, it will be splendiferous. I will bawl. Seriously.

Alexis is also in that spot, realizing that the man she loves is capable of things she thought he had left behind, but in Julian's defense, he truly did try to get out of the mob, only to get Alexis' house blown up in the process. And I know it's just a set, but I miss that house and the scenes that were filmed there. It was homey. In the interim, Alexis has picked back up with her old flame, Ned, and they are starting to date again, but Ned has more chemistry with Olivia -- probably because she has that Lois vibe.

I wonder if Alexis and Shawn have noticed that Molly and T.J. haven't been seen for weeks? Shawn's wrapped up with Jordan, who he is sleeping with in spite of thinking she's a drug dealer. Just wait until he finds out she's really D.E.A.! My guess is that he'd rather date a drug dealer than a cop, since he's a criminal for a living.

Epiphany thought Milo would rather date a slim girl and was offended when he took her to the boxing gym on a date. But Milo assured her that was not the case and insisted he was not trying to change her appearance. Score one for the fat and sassy girls! I love that the writers have paired the two -- it's a super cute relationship to watch. Just like in real life, sometimes people who others wouldn't imagine fitting together do indeed fit together in some invisible way that only they understand.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Sabrina lose her mind and put her wedding dress on again when she realizes Ava popped two baby-killer pills? Will Rosalie leave town and look for gainful employment in a place where she's not getting shot at by mobsters or ordered to sleep with junior mobsters? Will Ava get jealous of her daughter when Kiki and Morgan cave in to desire while prancing around the Brownstone in their underpants? Will Franco and his creepy eye necklace app stumble onto more secrets and be able to blackmail all of Port Charles? Will Nina give up her handicapped parking placard and start wearing stilettos now that Silas knows she doesn't need a wheelchair? Will Nikolas find the frozen embryo thermos with the demon seed of Stavros in his cupboards at Wyndemere? Will Britt and Spencer keep talking out loud in the living room about their deception until Nikolas hears them and kicks her out while she's still unpacking?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows!

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