Madness and mayhem in Port Charles

Stavros is dead but his zygote lives on in Helena's recently defrosted mitts. The Scarsdale clinic is no more, but the fates of several including Victor, Robin, Jason, and even Helena herself remain a mystery. As Sabrina puts a deadly plan into motion, Rosalie plants the seeds of doubt about Morgan and Kiki's relationship.

Great googly moogly, this week was one heck of a ride.

Things kicked off with a bang in Scarsdale, New York, at the Crichton-Clark Clinic where Liesl confessed that Victor was Nathan's father. But wait -- she lied. A paternity test later revealed that Victor is not Nathan's father. Who is the proud papa? Only Liesl knows for sure, but she's saying very little except that the man is far worse than Victor.

That leaves us only two choices: Jerry Jacks or Satan.

The one thing we do know for certain is that Nathan's father is not Cesar Faison because everyone agrees that he is the one person that Liesl wouldn't have hidden Nathan from -- if Cesar had sired Nathan.

Regardless of who Nathan's father is, Nathan had more pressing concerns on his mind, namely Maxie. Luckily for Nathan, he was finally reunited with his lady love but not all went quite as smoothly as he had hoped because when he finally -- and very sweetly -- poured his heart out to Maxie, Maxie opted to kick him in the groin (figuratively) by admitting that she simply couldn't trust her judgment when it came to men and relationships.

Maxie proves yet again that she is a complete imbecile with incredibly poor decision-making skills, even when she has insightful epiphanies.

I've concluded that Maxie needs to have a life coach follow her around twenty-four hours a day, every day, to make decisions for her because Maxie is incapable of getting out of her own way, which is why she is miserable most of the time and hyper the rest.

The one truly brilliant decision Maxie made was to stab Levi/Peter in the back with that snazzy Aztec knife. Talk about poetic justice. Oh, and I do have to give her credit for finally kissing Nathan. Granted, it was a bit creepy that Maxie got into the mood while the bodies of dead Harrells littered the floor, but we are talking about Nathan here.

The man can tempt a saint to sin with just one glance, and he practically walked through fire for Maxie. I would have done far more than just kiss Nathan if I had been in Maxie's shoes.

So, does anyone actually believe that Victor is really dead? I don't. At least I hope not.

I like a good evil Bond-like villain, and Victor fits the bill perfectly. More than ever, we need Victor around because it looks like this time Stavros is well and truly dead. There's no deep freezing and defrosting him this time around, especially since it appears that Helena has moved on with Stavros' latest progeny, her little frozen grandbaby in a canister.

I have no idea who Helena intends to impregnate with Stavros and Lulu's frozen embryo, but I'm going to try to keep an open mind about the baby. After all, Nikolas is Stavros and Laura's son, and he's not evil. Arrogant, yes, but he's definitely one of the good guys and arguably one of the best Cassadines ever born.

Of course that's not saying too much with the likes of Mikkos, Helena, Victor, and Stavros floating around in the gnarled branches of what one friend suggested was more like a twisted family wreath than a family tree.

However, I don't want Lulu to be forced to carry the canister zygote unless she wants to because anything less than her full consent would feel like a form of rape to me. I don't wish that on any woman, nor do I wish that kind of stigma on an innocent child. I recall Nikolas having a pretty difficult time with the idea of his conception until Laura assured her eldest child that she had always loved him and had never resented his existence or regretted his birth.

That said, a truly soapy twist would be for Nina to end up carrying Stavros' frozen creation. Even though Nina is in menopause, there's no reason she couldn't carry a baby. Plus, she's desperate to have a baby. Just think of the possibilities of Nina trying to pass off Stavros' and Lulu's child as her and Silas' baby, while Helena hovers in the background, pulling Nina's strings.

The only drawback to that would be that Nina is crazier than a bedbug and shouldn't be allowed within 1000 feet of a child much less gestating an innocent, fragile life in her womb.

One person that we can definitely rule out as possible surrogate is Sabrina, who has jumped the shark and is now officially dead to me. The minute Sabrina decided to sacrifice Ava's unborn child to punish Ava, I lost all understanding and compassion for Sabrina. She can justify her actions until the cows come home, but what she's doing is just plain evil. She is fully aware of the consequences and appears to be counting on those pills sending Ava into premature labor and killing the baby, so Ava will feel the pain that Sabrina felt when Gabriel died.

That's retribution for Gabriel? Murdering an innocent baby? Sabrina is no longer grieving; she's homicidal.

Meanwhile, Carly and friends continue to blare their trumpets whenever they talk about Sonny and Carly sleeping together. I am truly astounded that it has taken Franco this long to find out about the illicit tryst the night he was stuck in an elevator with Nina. Seriously, almost every other sentence out of Carly's mouth these days when talking to Sonny, Bobbie, or Kiki is a variation of, "Franco can't find out that I slept with Sonny."

It's like Carly wants to get caught because she never shuts up about it. I'm surprised she hasn't whispered it in her sleep.

It looks like Carly is about to get her wish because as she's arranging to throw Franco a special birthday celebration, Nina spilled the beans about Sonny and Carly's night of passion. Franco immediately booked passage on the train of denial by refusing to feed his paranoia by questioning Kiki, but that ride won't last long. The truth keeps smacking Franco in the face, including at the close of Friday's show. Franco entered the restaurant just as Sonny lovingly stroked the side of Carly's face.

Match meet tinder.

What's quickly shaping up to be the birthday party from hell will be attended by guests such as Kiki -- who overheard Sonny and Carly's revealing confession -- and Michael, the instrument of Sonny's downfall.

Lit tinder meet gasoline.

Ideally, Franco will call out Carly for being a faithless Sonny groupie, tell Michael that Sonny shot and killed A.J. because Ava framed A.J. for the murder she committed when Ava killed Connie, and then Michael will deliver the coup de grce by turning his back on Sonny forever plus a day.

Sonny will never go to jail for what he did, so he needs to pay for his crime by losing something near and dear to him. It seems fitting that it be Michael, his victim's son whom Sonny stole from A.J. years earlier. That would be karma.

My fantasies aside, it's unlikely that things will play out quite that quickly or neatly next week because this is a soap opera. It's going to be messy, complicated, painful, and most importantly diabolical since Franco will be the one on the warpath of revenge. Franco is going to want to punish not only Sonny for the betrayal but Carly too. And he's going to want to find a way that will cost Sonny and Carly everything they hold most dear to their hearts. That will take time and conspiring -- likely with a little help from Nina.

I think Franco's party is going to be the first step in his plot to make Sonny and Carly pay for their betrayal rather than the showdown that I'm hoping for, but it will be interesting to witness because we will see Franco set the groundwork for his revenge.

In other news, this week we saw Jason. Rather, we saw Jason from the neck down plus a few random shots of the back of his head. We know it was him not just because Robin and others confirmed it was Jason but because he was sporting his signature black t-shirts.

That Victor thought of everything.

I liked the way the scenes with Jason were done because while they played out, I pictured Jason as Billy Miller rather than Steve Burton in my mind's eye. I know that they kept showing us pictures of Steve Burton, but I suspect that was either because the scenes had been shot before Billy Miller had signed on with the show or because the powers that be thought that it might be less confusing to the viewing audience to see Steve Burton's image until Billy officially takes over the role.

Regardless, I envisioned Billy Miller in those scenes, so now I'm ready for him to step into the role.

From what I was able to gather, Jason does have at least partial memory recall. He knows how to handle a gun, recognizes Robin, and appears to be aware of his surroundings. He is also more than capable of dealing with tense and dangerous situations without breaking into a sweat. The only thing that he can't do is speak, which admittedly was never really a strong suit of his to begin with.

I'm not sure what Helena wants with Robin and Jason, but it doesn't bode well for them. I'm fairly certain that Helena safely escaped the clinic before the blast tore through it because she seemed far too confident as she strolled out of the lab with her grandbaby in a can.

I have a feeling that Helena's ultimate plan is to use Robin to get Stavros' frozen baby implanted. Whether that means that Helena wants Robin to be a surrogate, find a surrogate, or locate the frozen embryo Anna hid for Dante and Lulu to make a switch remains to be seen. Then again, I wouldn't put it past Helena to find a way to have both of Lulu's frozen embryos implanted into Lulu, so Lulu would end up giving birth to twinish half-siblings. Only on a soap opera!

Whatever Helena's warped plan is, I do hope she sticks around for a while because I do adore Constance Towers, and I positively love her deliciously dastardly Helena.

Finally, Rosalie is hard at work trying to drive a wedge between Michael and Kiki, but is it really necessary because it seems to me that Kiki is going just fine torpedoing her relationship with Michael all by herself by continually turning to Morgan to confide to her ex-husband. I've sensed from the minute that Kiki moved into the brownstone that she and Morgan are destined to end up in bed together again, but I really hope and pray that Michael doesn't rebound with Rosalie.

I really have no idea why Michael even talks to Rosalie because she just plain isn't a nice person. I used to think that it was just Nina who brought out the nasty side of Rosalie, but after seeing Rosalie interact with Michael and Kiki, I have decided that Rosalie is just a Mean Girl -- without the fetch posse.

A few random comments:

I loved that Robert had men at the WSB who were loyal to him and that they aided Anna in finding the hostages and clearing out the clinic. I'm so happy that Ron Carlivati protected the integrity of the WSB by not allowing the evil to corrupt its core -- even though I do like Victor.

Is it me, or did it look like Nina broke into a museum and stole Olivia Newton-John's "Let's Get Physical" exercise outfit?

What in blazes is with the 1990s paint splatter wall decor in Franco's art room? I have school pictures with that very same background.

A part of me keeps hoping that one of these days a cryogenic chamber will be found with little Jake inside. If we can bring evil villains and sexy hunks back from the dead, why can't we bring back one child who should never have been killed off in the first place? Heck, it's not as if Luke ever admitted that he was drunk that night, was an alcoholic, or even stopped drinking. What was the point of killing Jake if Luke didn't learn one single lesson from that sweet child's death or make any positive changes to his life?

Things that tickled my fancy

Sam and Patrick engage in some flirtatious banter Delivery person: "Sorry for the wait. We were backed up at the restaurant."Sam: "Oh, that's okay. I'm just glad you guys are doing good business."Patrick: "Yeah. She was super chill about it."Delivery person: "They threw in some extra fortune cookies for your trouble."Sam: "Then all is definitely forgiven. Thank you so much. Drive safe. Oh, my gosh! You are such an ass!"Patrick: "What?"Sam: "'She was really chill about it'?"Patrick: "See? You shouldn't have made me shave. You made me a mean person."

Dante foolishly thinks to intimidate a CassadineDante: "Let her go."Stavros: [Laughs] "Let's play nice, shall we?"Dante: "Maybe you're not hearing me. I said get your damn hands off her, or I will shoot you."Stavros: "And by the time you do, I will have slit her throat. It's a skill we Cassadines have."

Nikolas and Britt talk about Nathan possibly being a CassadineBritt: "Your uncle could be Nathan's father, which would make him a Cassadine."Nikolas: "I know. I know. It's -- I've never been short of family members coming out of the woodwork. But, thankfully, Nathan seems to have a good moral compass, as opposed to my uncle Victor, who apparently is the corrupt head of the WSB."

Helena is her usual unapologetic evil selfHelena: "No, no. No, let Mr. Morgan rest. I'm sure he's exhausted. It's not easy escaping my brother-in-law's facility."Robin: "So, I guess I should, uh, congratulate you on your return from the dead."Helena: "It's lovely to be back. Of course, I should thank you, shouldn't I -- you and Mr. Morgan? I must say that I am a little disappointed. I know he's been through a terrible ordeal, but, given his reputation, I did expect him to put up more of a fight."

Nina volunteered something that made my ears bleed hearing itNina: "Oh. Yeah. Silas and I -- we always used to have sex in public places."Rosalie: "Ehh. T.M.I. T.M.I."

Michael proves to be quite the wise young CEOMorgan: "Kiki's meeting her dad someplace -- the Metro Court, I think. They're, like, getting breakfast. You can probably catch her there."Michael: "Oh, no. I have to stay here. I'm, uh, meeting the roofer."Morgan: "Oh, Kiki and I aren't gonna do the shingles? I was actually looking forward to doing that."Michael: "You and Kiki on the roof with a nail gun? No, I can't afford the insurance."

This week, Stavros' crazy trumps Nina'sDante: "Her body needs to be prepped for weeks for the implantation."Stavros: "Perhaps at that wretched hospital in Port Charles. We are in a state-of-the-art facility. We're doing things here with medicine that no one's ever even heard of."Dante: "What does that mean?"Stavros: "That means that that single shot... is more than enough. Isn't that right, doctor?"Dr. Young: "I gave the patient an extremely concentrated cocktail of hormones."Dante: "What are you talking about? Is that even safe?"Dr. Young: "She's got everything she needs to move forward."Stavros: "Then what are we waiting for? Let's reunite mother and child, or zygote, as the case may be."Lulu: "You really are sick."

Until next time, dear readers, take care. Liz Masters

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