Sleeping with the enemy

Britt tried to get Nikolas between the sheets, Franco almost walked in on Carly and Sonny, Jordan and Shawn embarked on a clandestine affair, and Julian and Alexis pined for each other. It's Two Scoops of love on the rocks with Liz Masters.

It's official, Nikolas is a dumbass -- or a pod person. Take your pick.

Those are the only two things that would explain Nikolas' actions this week when he locked lips with Britt after admitting that he had feelings for Elizabeth.

Nikolas has loved Elizabeth off and on for years, at one point even going so far as to beg her to leave his brother for him. And of course the sole reason he returned to Port Charles was to finally explore a relationship with Liz. By the way, he's also the only person in Port Charles who actually calls her Liz.

It's true that Nikolas was briefly engaged to Britt, but that all ended when he found out that she had lied to him for the umpteenth time by trying to pass his sister's son off as her own.

Nikolas freely admitted to Britt that he wants to be with Liz if she'll have him, but rather than bow out gracefully, Britt practically threw herself at his feet, begging him to sleep with her. It was a tad uncomfortable to watch because it reeked of desperation not love. Nikolas succumbed to temptation because he thinks Britt could just possibly be reformed, since she had been a pillar of strength when Spencer pulled a Houdini act and disappeared for a few days.

Despite confessing to Liz that he could never fully trust Britt again, Nikolas hit the sex-couch with Britt. A couch has seen more action over the years than an NFL football field.

Nikolas deserves the gut-punch headed his way when it's revealed that Britt was part of Spencer's scheme to run away. Britt has lied to Nikolas endlessly, so other than her word that she's a changed woman determined to walk a straight line, he has no reason to believe anything she says. Nikolas knows firsthand how easily Britt lies and how she only comes clean with she is faced with irrefutable proof of her lies, yet because they had fun in the park on Fourth of July, she volunteered at a day camp for kids a few times, and she stuck to his side like glue while his son was missing, Nikolas is willing to hop into bed with her. It simply doesn't make sense to me.

I could almost feel sorry for Nikolas if he wasn't being such a complete fool about Britt.

Folks, I do not think that Britt loves Nikolas. I think she's obsessed with him and the idea of what could have been. If you love someone, you don't put them through the kind of misery that Britt has subjected Nikolas to -- and you certainly don't allow something to continue if it's causing the one you love unspeakable heartache and worry when you have the power to stop it. Britt did not stop it. Even when Spencer told her that he was ready to go home, Britt dragged it out a little bit longer to make sure that she could put herself in the best light possible when she reunited Nikolas with his missing son.

I can't tell you how happy I am that Liz inadvertently thwarted those plans.

If there had been any doubt that Britt doesn't love or deserve Nikolas, that was erased when she begged Nikolas to sleep with her. It struck me that Britt is so focused on winning the battle that she's lost sight of the war. The tactics she's using to win Nikolas over might get him into bed, but they will ultimately cost her the storybook ending she's dreaming of because Britt is not building trust with Nikolas. If she truly loved Nikolas then she would put his happiness ahead of her own by telling him the truth then respecting whatever he decided.

In the end, I think Nikolas will chose Liz, but I have a feeling that their happily ever after will not last long, either, because we all know that Ric is waiting in the wings, eager for an opportunity to return once Fluke is unmasked. That appears to be finally on the horizon.

This week, we finally had some progress in the storyline when Julian confided to Ava that Fluke is indeed an imposter and that the real Luke Spencer is currently languishing away at the Miscavige Institute with his old pal, Heather Webber. Good times.

Julian told Ava that he had no idea who Fluke really is because the man had had several identities during their stint in the witness protection program. Frankly, Fluke could be Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny all rolled into one, as long as it's revealed and he is then sent on his way.

I never thought I'd say this, but I want Luke back. Kudos to Ron Carlivati for finding a way to actually make Luke more palatable to me.

Truthfully, I was far more interested in what's going on with Julian's personal life rather than what he had to say about Fluke. It's hard to take Fluke's latest shenanigans seriously because it's highly unlikely that Ava will actually carry out the order to kill Michael. That would be like seeing a popular character killed in a lab explosion and then having her wake up in a hospital room a couple of weeks later. Oh, wait -- never mind.

Okay, so it is possible that Ava might succeed in her endeavor, but the odds are ever in Michael's favor because I haven't heard anything about Chad Duell leaving the show. Therefore, I focused more on Julian and Ava's interactions rather than all that nonsense about Ava being ordered to kill Michael.

It appears that there's been a significant thawing in Julian and Ava's relationship, which I am eternally grateful for. I hated seeing Julian and Ava squabbling with each other, so I'm thrilled that they are patching things up. Not only did Julian grudgingly rescue his lethal little sister from Sonny's clutches, but he seemed to be genuinely concerned about her when he asked if Ava had had a restless night because of the baby.

I love the soft, caring side of Julian, but I also love that when he's pushed against the wall, he doesn't pretend to be anything other than what he is. Yes, he's a criminal, but unlike Sonny, Julian appears to want to make the right choices for the sake of his family. It's for that reason that I won't give up on reconciliation between Julian and Alexis.

I was heartened to hear Alexis confide to Ned that she was having a hard time letting Julian go. It gives me hope that when Fluke is finally exposed, she will give Julian another chance. It will be far easier to do once it's revealed that Ric is alive.

Yes, that was my second blatant hint for Ric to return to our screens.

Two of my favorite moments this week involved the Quartermaines and specifically Tracy.

The first was when Alice told Michael all about Tracy's plot to steal ELQ out from under him. It was so satisfying to watch Michael fire Tracy because it was long overdue. I lost all sympathy for Tracy when she tried to blackmail Alice to keep quiet about the plot to oust Michael, so I've been waiting for this moment since we found out that Alice needed a heart transplant.

The second highlight of the week occurred when Ned walked in on Tracy while she was in the middle of a video call with Luke, discussing how their plans went up in flames and it was time for Luke to return home. I was stunned that Tracy would be so foolish as to place a video call in the family's library -- where a parade of people tend to march through with alarming frequency -- rather than a more private setting like her bedroom, so I cracked up when Ned suddenly popped up from out of nowhere to inform Luke that the jig was up.

The cherry on top was Ned throwing Tracy out of the mansion with a reminder that Monica would back him up because Tracy had foolishly targeted Monica's beloved grandson. Booyah.

Welcome back, Wally Kurth! I freaking love seeing Ned again because he always puts a smile on my face whenever he's on. He even makes Olivia tolerable.

What isn't the least bit tolerable is watching the world's most dysfunctional couple hop back on the merry-go-round of toxic love.

I can't blame Franco for unspooling a bit at the thought of Sonny and Carly hooking up because CarSon have that affect on people, including this viewer. No offense to their diehard fans, but I stopped shipping this couple sometime around divorce number three.

I think Sonny and Carly work as friends and co-parents but not as lovers, at least not anymore. How could Carly possibly justify getting involved with Sonny while Josslyn still lives under her roof after sending Morgan away for years to a military school to protect her son from the dangers of Sonny's lifestyle? And lest we forget, Sonny also tried to kill Josslyn's father to keep Jax from taking custody of Josslyn.

Then again, Carly is the same woman who found a way to justify getting involved with the man who put a rapist directly into her son's path and terrorized quite a few people she cared about.

I know that Franco didn't know Carter was a rapist, and yes, Franco had a soap opera brain tumor to explain away all of his horrible dirty deeds, but that wouldn't matter to me if it was my child who had been sexually assaulted.

Honestly, I think -- and by that I mean I pray -- Carly's interest in Sonny stems from a subconscious deep-seated desire to pull away from Franco while saving face in front of all of those who would say "I told you so." Carly hates being wrong, so she would rather throw herself into a flaming fire pit a hundred times before admitting it.

In a way, that is exactly what Carly is doing by getting involved with Sonny again. No good can come of that relationship, so I hope it ends right along with her affair with Franco.

Carly does love Sonny and always will -- the same goes for Sonny with Carly -- but there's a reason that they keep splitting up.

As much as I dislike Sonny's tactics, I do have to agree that things are not working for Franco and Carly. I suspect that's the real reason that Franco is insecure and Carly is fighting harder than ever to convince everyone that she loves Franco.

I've always been a firm believer that people who are happy and content in their relationships will not stray. If Carly truly loved Franco, then she wouldn't have slept with Sonny. Sonny was also spot-on about Carly's reasons for showing up at his office instead of calling him to tell him that she had no intention of ever sleeping with him again. Carly wanted to see Sonny, plain and simple. She's ready to move on from Franco and is looking to Sonny to help her -- whether she wants to admit that or not.

Folks, I can't decide if Jordan is a seasoned undercover agent who is in desperate need of a refresher course in Undercover Work 101 or simply someone who cut a deal with the government to help catch Julian's drug lord boss. I find it annoying how she gets indignant about people calling her out for being a drug dealer when that is exactly what she's trying to pass herself off as. Shouldn't an undercover agent refrain from drawing suspicion by telling people that they don't know what they are talking about when they accuse her of dealing drugs?

The only smart move I've seen Jordan make is insisting to Shawn that they keep their affair under wraps. Not because it's highly unprofessional for her to be sleeping with the enemy but rather because it was a wise move as a parent. She's right; T.J. would have a hard time accepting that Shawn was involved with Jordan with the current situation that Jordan is in.

Bravo to Shawn, though, for coming clean to Sonny about Jordan. It was totally unexpected but a smart move on Shawn's part. Britt should take lessons from Shawn.

Finally, did anyone else catch the shout-out to Jaws? The boat captain who helped Levi and Scribner escape was named Quint, and his boat was called the Orca. I'm an avid reader and a huge movie buff, so I was tickled pink when I realized that Ron Carlivati had been referencing the first "grownup" book I read and the first scary movie I watched.

I remember how proud I was when my mother finally deemed me old enough to read her tattered paperback copy of Jaws, although in hindsight, I'm pretty sure it was my mom's sneaky way of keeping me from swimming too far out in the ocean during our summers at Montauk Point.

Things that tickled my fancy

Nina and Franco discuss Carly's kiss with SonnyNina: "What if the kiss meant nothing?"Franco: "Any time a man's lips touch another woman's lips, it means something, right?"Nina: "Yeah, but it was just a kiss. It's not like he had her in the backseat of his car. Okay, so, listen. Why don't you talk to Carly? Why don't you discuss this with Carly before you do something to a notorious gangster? You know what I mean? I mean, if you do something to him, you're gonna be dead before his soul leaves his body."Franco: "I don't think he has a soul."

Rosalie complains to Morgan when Silas makes it clear that Rosalie's snarky comments will not be tolerated anymoreRosalie: "Thanks. Um, I just got my ass handed to me by my boss. That's all. He said some pretty brutal things."Morgan: "Well, that sucks. Why don't you just quit, not put up with it?"Rosalie: [Chuckles] "I take it you've never had a job before."Morgan: "No, not for very long, but, seriously, I would be happy to kick the guy's ass if you want me to -- as long as I'm bigger and stronger than him, of course."

Ned puts an end to Tracy and Fluke's video chatTracy: "How dare you barge in here and interrupt my conversation?!"Ned: "How dare I what?! Interrupt your plotting with Luke Spencer?"

Franco runs into his new bestie, NinaFranco: "You don't need to look around like that. I promised I wouldn't spill your beans, and I still have all of your beans."Nina: "You know, I'm really actually glad that I ran into you."Franco: "'Actually?' It's not clear to you that this is the best part of your day?"

Ned talks to Alexis about the changes in LukeNed: "Yes, but back then, he was a freeloader. He was like an expensive hobby -- cost my mother a fortune, but he kept her amused. That's not who Luke is now. He's threatening, even malevolent."

A minute with Nina's special brand of crazyNina: "Oh, Rosalie. You're finally making sense. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I love you. You're right. You're so right. If I just focus and I work hard, I can get what I want and have what I want. I'm Nina Clay. I came back from the brink of death, didn't I? I know exactly what I want. I'm finally getting my husband where I want him."Rosalie: "Yeah. Yeah, see? You're making progress already."Nina: "Yeah. Yeah, and I will have a baby. I will have my own baby."Rosalie: "Yeah, assuming you can get pregnant."[Nina gives Rosalie the death-glare]

Until next time, dear readers, take care. Liz Masters

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