It's inconceivable!

Creepy Luke isn't Real Luke, but has the mystery of what happened to Luke gone on too long without an explanation? If Dante and Anna didn't have to investigate every crime in Port Charles, one of them might realize something is amiss. A look at other hits and, um, amisses in this week's Two Scoops.

Dear Readers, by now you know that I love General Hospital. There are weeks that I really love GH, but there are weeks when as much as I love GH I can't help but roll my eyes. This was a week where there wasn't much to love.

Sometimes it was boring. Sometimes it was annoying. And sometimes it was pointless. I don't even know where to start, so I'm just going to make a random list of things I would rather not have seen.

• Watching two kids fight over Cadbury Crme Eggs is like hanging out with my grandkids. File under annoying. While the kids playing Spencer and Cameron are adorable, they've had way too much airtime. And I don't ever want to hear the word "chupacabra" again.

• I do not like Levi. At all. Not even a little. I realize he is probably just being used as an obstacle between Maxie and Nathan getting together -- and is representative of her Eat Pray Love season -- but c'mon! Maxie is finally back, and I want to see her with Lulu and Uncle Mac. These scenes with Levi just make me want to pummel someone with the truth pillow.

• It's time that the PCPD hired some new cops so Dante and Chief of Police Anna don't have to personally interrogate every suspect in every crime.

• The Creepy Luke story has gone on way too long. Luke has been one of my favorite characters in GH since I was a teenager, and now I can barely stand to see his face. Yes, we get it, something happened to him at Miscavige. Either he was brainwashed, or Luke is Faison, or Bill Eckert, or Jerry Jacks, or someone evil. But I don't care anymore. I just want it to end. I am no longer intrigued or curious; I am just annoyed. Not-Luke trying to molest Kiki was the last straw for me.

• The bloody ghost of A.J. tormenting Sonny is annoying too. I'd like to point out that Jason was Sonny's best friend for 20 years, and when he died, Sonny never had a single vision of Jason that tormented his soul. As much as Sonny hated A.J. all these years, I'm surprised he didn't throw a party. I can't even count the number of times Sonny said of A.J., "I should have killed the bastard when I had the chance!" -- so you'd think now that he finally did, he'd be thrilled. I fear this will roll into Sonny sleeping with his son's girlfriend for comfort and then finding out Ava shot Connie. This will lead to a full-on mental breakdown and more airtime for "Doc."

• Michael is not related to Sonny by blood but is a clear case for "nature vs. nurture" due to his explosive temper. Seriously, Michael, I'm sorry your dad got shot, but don't go to the police station and start throwing things around.

• "Franco" tagging the Metro Court Hotel so he could get arrested to spy for Carly. Seriously? Ugh.

• T.J's never-before-seen mom Jordan coming to town to be a mob drug dealer. Again, ugh.

On the upside, GH was not ALL bad. There were things that were entertaining and I want to make sure that I talk about those, too.

• Liesl and Madeline being sisters is hilarious. In my humble opinion, the best reason to watch GH this week was Kathleen Gati. Dr. Obrecht is one of the best soap villains in ages. And Donna Mills is no slouch, either, so scenes between the two of them in their opposing jail cells have been enjoyable to watch. Mind you, the plot is fairly absurd -- that Dr. Clay and his presumed-dead wife, Nina, through her not-brother Nathan happen to be connected to Obrecht and Britt is a very soapy stretch, but I can roll with it if it gets Ms. Gati on-screen. Does she really have Dante and Lulu's other embryo? Probably. Will they let Maxie be their surrogate again? Probably not. But maybe Britt will do it, since she's so good at growing Falconeri babies in her belly.

• Britt is suddenly very sympathetic to me. I started out despising her when she first came on the show, but after I found out she's the love child of Faison and Obrecht, I was willing to give her a lot of grace. Heaven knows she didn't learn any good things from her parents! And now, I really hope Nikolas forgives her. She would be at home in Wyndemere and is able to handle all the insanity that comes with being a Cassadine. Send Elizabeth back to Ric, who clearly adores her.

• Ned. Oh, my, I have missed Wally Kurth and the voice of reason that Ned is to the Q's. I hope he is not just here for the funeral but intends to stay awhile. His presence is so welcome. The only down side is that some of the scenes he was in were Creepy Luke scenes. But the scenes with the wonderful Jane Elliot were very enjoyable. I hope Ned (a.k.a. Eddie Maine) gets to have a run-in with former flame Alexis and gives Julian a run for his money.

• Baby Rocco. Love the new name, love that he's home with his Mommy and Daddy. Now If Maxie can just get baby Georgie back, all will be right with the world.

• Sabrina and Patrick's ultrasound -- it's a boy! Readers, if I were Patrick, the minute Robin left town, I would have gotten in my car, driven to Sabrina's house, begged her for forgiveness, asked her to elope with me, and kicked Robin's memory to the curb once and for all. The slow reunion of Patrick and Sabrina is bothersome. I know she is leaving on maternity leave in real life soon, so I want the reunion to come sooner rather than later. Sabrina certainly loves him and Emma more than Robin does, and he deserves to be loved. And she's just plain nicer.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Cameron get his own Cadbury Crme Eggs from the Easter Bunny and not have to come crawling to Spencer for his fix? Will Creepy Luke put the moves on WSB veteran "Slim" and have someone with a brain finally notice Luke isn't himself? Will Levi go back to whatever commune Maxie found him on so she can comfort Nathan in his time of shirtless heartache? Will Patrick and Sabrina name their baby boy after Patrick's brother Matt, whom he never, ever visits in prison? Will Elizabeth settle into life at Wyndemere right before Helena thaws out and comes home to thwart her reunion efforts?

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