It's not a tumor (or is it?)

It's about to hit the fan: Liz learned the truth about Ben, but will anyone believe her? Luke, meanwhile, is acting even jerkier than usual. Is it the drugs he was given or something more sinister like a mask or evil twin? It's time to try to figure it all out in this week's Two Scoops with Tamilu.

If you've been watching GH for an insane length of time like I have, you will remember that Nikolas had a brain tumor that was making him see visions of Emily. He wrestled with the decision between having the tumor removed and not seeing Ghost Emily or keeping the tumor so he could keep seeing Ghost Emily. After much prodding from family and friends, he had the tumor removed, but this week, he saw Ghost Emily again, and I have to ask, is his tumor back?

While it was lovely to see Emily and Nikolas on-screen together, the ethereal white chiffon dress meant to conjure heaven would have been more believable without the false eyelashes and lip liner, but hey, that's just my vision of heaven. I hope when I wake up in the clouds someday, I won't have to spend so much time getting dolled up as I do down here.

Ghost Emily did all she could to make Nikolas think about what he was doing, and she even got him to admit he loved Elizabeth -- which we already knew. As Fray so eloquently points out, "Love Don't Die." When you truly, deeply love someone deep in your soul, trivial things like circumstances and time rarely put a dent in it. You walk around every day with that truth in your heart and go on about your life because there is no other choice, but the love is still in there, kicking around, reminding you of its existence every time a song plays on the radio or a love scene plays on a movie screen or you see something that triggers a memory. Elizabeth and Nikolas have known each other a really long time, and their romantic feelings for one another were very badly timed, wholly inconvenient, but genuine.

But when Nikolas came back to Port Charles and declared his love, Elizabeth pushed him away and chased after the walking disaster A.J. instead. Nikolas moved on with Britt, but that's about to come to a screeching halt as soon as Liz stops lollygagging and blurts out the secret she's dying to tell. The reason that Ben is a blue-eyed blonde baby instead of a brunet brown-eyed baby is because his mommy could be the model for a Malibu Lulu doll. The scenes with Lulu and Ben are heartbreaking to watch, and I can hardly wait until Monday when she finds out Ben is hers.

The timing is great because Maxie should be home soon, and maybe now Lulu and Maxie can be friends again, since they will both have a baby and no one will need to be jealous or envious of the other.

In other Spencer family news, Luke is totally wackadoodle, unable to control his libido, and either fronting the Jerome crime organization or is somehow in cahoots with them as revealed at the end of Friday's show. Why? Luke and Sonny have been friends a long time, so it makes no sense for Luke to want to take Sonny down, unless Heather and her minions messed with his brain.

This whole story is so convoluted I can't begin to guess where it is headed, and frankly, it's a waste of Tony Geary's charm in my opinion. The thing we love about Luke is the thing they have killed in him, which is that twinkle in his eye and his mischievous demeanor. Take that away and turn him into a creepy old letch, and I can barely look at him. This upsets me since I have loved his character since I was in high school. I hope wherever this is going, it gets there soon.

I also hope Alexis and Julian do it soon because I'm waiting to live vicariously through Nancy Lee Grahn and watch her pent-up passions explode into Julian's arms. She's so smart and witty and lovely -- both as Alexis and as her own delightful self, but Alexis truly has the worst taste in men. (Although in the same circumstance, I most likely would have made the same choices, because those guys are all in a state of constant smolder.)

Romantic triangles have no age limits, and the battle for Emma Drake rages on, with the current round going to Cameron and his paper heart made on the most valuable flyer ever. Why would anyone as smart as Britt not make sure she burned up the paper with the letter written on it? I would have watched each word burn until the final period disintegrated.

But maybe she was so excited to try on her empty box of tissue paper that her brain wasn't functioning properly. At least when Sonny gives women dresses on his private island, he has an actual dress box with a dress inside that they could take out and hold up. The set designers got lazy and gave Nik a short box full of tissue paper, and all women everywhere said, "An evening gown would never fit in that box."

Britt's sparkly dress was a knockout, and speaking of knockouts, I fear that Brad is going to take the plunge over the parapet like Catherine Bell did, in pretty much the exact same spot. Handy tip -- if you ever get invited to a soiree at Wyndemere, stay away from the balconies and secret tunnel doors.

T.J.'s mom showed up in town, which seems to be solely for the purpose of giving Shawn someone new to heat up the screen with, since Alexis is busy with Julian, Ric, and Sonny. Funniest scene of the week was Alexis telling T.J. and Molly that she was okay with them having sex, and she would just wait there on the couch until they were done. Hilarious.

As you may have heard, Sean Kanan is on his way out as A.J., and I hate to take sides in the middle of a Hollywood scuffle, but I have to agree with Sean that the storylines he got (relish and panic attacks) were super lame, and he was never really given a meaty story to develop A.J.'s character. As much as I love Ron Carlivati's writing, this character wasn't given any meaningful material, and regardless of who was in A.J.'s shoes, Kanan or Warlock, there wasn't much to do with a relish war on The Spew.

Imagine my shock to see Abby Ewing in Port Charles, except now she is calling herself Madeline and is Momma to the hunkiest cop ever. I seem to believe that both she and Nathan truly believe Silas is the culprit, which makes me doubt my counter theory that they were the ones framing Silas. Thoughts?

In non-GH related news, today is my birthday. My family kidnapped me for the day, and I apologize for the tardiness of my column. And in even more non-GH related news, many of you Tweeted me this week to let me know that you are Marshmallows in addition to being GH fans, and if you haven't seen the Veronica Mars movie, you really must. I've seen it twice, and it's everything you hoped it would be and more.

But now, back to Port Charles...

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Ric find some more BLT and egg salad paintings for the Jerome Gallery now that he's their attorney? Will Patrick find any more photos of Robin to break? Will Sabrina give Emma advice on how to pick between two men? Will Kiki groin kick Luke at his next creepy come on? Will Ric be able to win back Elizabeth's heart via his camaraderie with Cam? Will Ava get Carlos to finish off A.J. for her, or brainwash Michael into thinking he pillow-smothered him?

Take care and happy viewing,Liz Masters

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