I just want your extra time and your... kiss

The residents of Port Charles can't seem to keep their lips to themselves, and there are all sorts of repercussions. This week's Two Scoops is a kiss and tell opinion column all about some of General Hospital's oddest couples.

It was a week of busy lips in Port Charles. Nick kissed Liz, A.J. kissed Carly, Lulu kissed Magic Milo, Rafe kissed Molly, and probably none of those people should have kissed. But sometimes the urge just comes upon you and you can't be held responsible for your wayward mouth, right?

A.J. kissed Carly, she reciprocated, and the two archenemies ended up in bed together. There's a thin line between love and hate, and A.J. and Carly engaged in some serious, lamp-breaking, body-slamming sex in his old childhood bedroom. The funniest scene of the week was Carly dousing herself in hand sanitizer, trying to wash the A.J. germs off of her the next day. Or, was it when Monica discovered it was Carly in A.J.'s bed and spit out, "Have you started drinking again?" to A.J. I howled at that line.

My great hope here is that the ever-fertile Carly has gotten herself pregnant by A.J. again. Oh the months of fun we could have with that. She hasn't had a baby in a long time, and now that they have aged Morgan, I'm guessing Josslyn will be in class with Molly and T.J. any minute. So, Carly will need another bundle of joy to fill up her giant empty (beautiful) house.

Meanwhile, across town, the hunka-hunka burning love known as Prince Nikolas kissed Elizabeth and confessed that his heart was still wrapped up in the thought of her and that with Lucky out of the picture, he wanted them to try again and have a real relationship. Liz rejected the notion firmly because for her, their relationship is still all wrapped up in guilt and remorse.Let's ponder that as a question: can a relationship that starts out as something wrong turn into something right? Can you cheat on your fianc with another man (his own brother!) and then unravel all that guilt and shame from the foundation of that love? Elizabeth still bears the burdens of what that love cost her family, the way she hurt Lucky, and the fact the her children's father fled to another country and has exited their lives. (Okay, so he's really just in Nashville.)

Elizabeth still feels some sense of loyalty to Lucky. Even though he left and isn't in the picture, she's allowing that guilt to control her and block her from potential future love and happiness. We punish ourselves sometimes; we step outside of the moral guidelines and standards we hold ourselves to and think we deserve to be alone because of our wretched sinful actions. But do we? Does Elizabeth not deserve love and happiness in her life just because she caved in to temptation years ago? At what point can we be absolved of our weakness and failure?

If I were Elizabeth, I'd date Nikolas and see where it would lead now that they are out from under the constraints that limited the scope of their relationship in the past. And if Lucky comes home and "catches" them together now, so be it -- he willingly left and stepped out of Liz's life and can't expect her to go on without love forever, even if her choice is his brother. "We can get back everything we had!' he pleaded, and they probably can if she can escape the ghost of bad choices past.

I also think Laura is wrong to discourage Nikolas from pursuing Liz. He hasn't been truly in love with anyone since Emily died. If Laura offered her blessing and support, it would mean the world to him. Even if things didn't work out, he'd know his mom was rooting for him.

And NuLulu kissed Magic Milo, because although people keep telling her that she has a husband, she doesn't remember. Oh, being brainwashed must be so much fun! To wake up one day, totally unencumbered, no obligations or guilt or sad memories -- a fresh slate where you can just go out and start kissing random strangers. Wow, that must be the life. I'm kidding. Sort of.

While there are things I would like to forget in my life, to have your entire past erased would be a nightmare -- I think who we are is composed of our life experience and our memories. They remind us daily of who we are and why. I can't imagine how frightening it would be to wake up one day and not know anyone at all.

Dante is a bull and keeps trying to force Lulu into remembering their big scary love, but it only makes her feel like she has to escape. The more he pushes, the further she runs. This is good news for Max and Milo, who have had more lines in the past week than they have in the past year. I think it's fun that the writers remembered that Milo had a crush on Lulu years ago and have used that to weave a fabric of history into this current storyline.

Rafe kissed Molly. She acted stunned in spite of her obvious mad crush on him and sent him back home to mope in deep teen angst. T.J., meanwhile, is planning some $500 date for her, but I suspect she'd really rather have a free evening of making out with Rafe than a fancy night out with T.J., but she has to make up her mind about who to let go of and be bold enough to say so. Do it now while you're unencumbered, Molly. Free advice from Aunt Tammy.

In other news, self-appointed girl detective Ellie tricked Spinelli into hacking the hospital computer (which is clearly from the 80s -- it looks like the one Doogie Howser used to type his nightly journal entry on). She managed to steal Maxie's medical files and uncover the secret that Maxie miscarried on New Year's Eve, and immediately got pregnant with Spinelli's baby about 20 minutes later.

While that unbelievable plot point has always made me laugh, it is now brewing up some excellent May Sweeps drama. Ellie will tell Spinelli. Maxie may have shut her up for the moment, but a girl who was willing to break the law and hack into private medical records because her conscience wouldn't let her do otherwise surely won't keep the secret even if it means she loses her beloved Damian.

And what of Lulu and Dante? Right now, Lulu doesn't even remember herself, much less her impending baby, but I am 99.9% certain that Dante and Lulu still have a baby on the way because every soap instinct in my body tells me that Britt is pregnant with one of Dante and Lulu's frozen sperm pops and not with Patrick's baby.

Of course, Patrick, who is really, really bad at spotting sheer evil, will not believe Sabrina when she accuses Britt of faking her morning sickness, just like he didn't believe Robin when she told Patrick that Lisa Niles was mentally unstable.

When Connie told Sonny that Morgan was in trouble with gambling, he believed it, probably because Morgan carries Grandpa Mike's DNA, and it stands to reason. I am so glad that the shaky kid with the gun was not the new Morgan because I would have hated him instantly. I'm still holding out hope we have a piece of casting genius like Chad Duell as Michael. I wanted to hate him when he was first cast, but he was so stinking good, I had to get over myself and embrace him.

What will happy tomorrow, dear readers? Will Franco's scary spawn daughter show up in Port Charles with her oddball Grandma Betsy Frank? Will we get pickled playing the Pickle-Lila/Pickle-Eddie drinking game? (Pick a character and take a drink whenever they say the word "Pickle.") Will Johnny bust out of Pentonville and his orange jumpsuit and stay in Port Charles, after all? Will Laura go back to being a blonde because if she slips back into catatonia now, I won't recognize the back of her head with this color?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in as long as there are tomorrows.Tamilu