Doppelgangers and other shenanigans

Why are there two McBains, and why is one of them a vampire? Have the GH writers gone mad, or is there genius in the otherworldly storylines? Take a peek behind the curtain in this week's Two Scoops.

So, you have your John McBain, and you have your Caleb Morley. The way you can tell them apart is that Caleb has hair extensions, a flatiron, and a giant Vampire Super Bowl ring. I haven't seen fangs yet, but I think we all know they are coming.

Many of you have asked me "Why are they doing a stupid vampire storyline?" and there are actual answers to that question.

One is legal; Prospect Park bought One Live to Live and all of its characters when OLTL first went off the air. When they didn't immediately do anything with OLTL and didn't relaunch it online as originally promised, it wasn't hurting anyone to have Todd and Starr Manning and John McBain relocate to Port Charles. However, now that PP has resumed its plan to resurrect AMC and OLTL, it wants its characters back. ABC is legally required to relinquish use of those characters back to Prospect Park. (To get all the details on this, click here.)

So, this leaves the actors in a bind. They can either stay at GH as a character that doesn't legally belong to OLTL, or leave GH and go back to OLTL as the character they are currently playing. This storyline strategy opens up the possibilities for the actors to make a choice.

The next reason is probably just because it's fun to give a nod to GH's sister show, Port Charles, and to honor that history for viewers of both shows. Sure, the vampire thing is a little kooky and totally camp, but seriously, that's one of my favorite things about soaps. The day Faison's "Duke Lavery" mask melted off his face made me squeal with delight. It was a ridiculous storyline and I loved every single second of it!

So, which would you prefer, dear readers? To lose Todd, Starr, and McBain from the GH canvas, or to keep the actors in alternate roles? I'd love to hear your feedback!

Soaps find ratings success in two ways: a well-crafted story and beloved actors. The return of Jack Wagner this week as Frisco Jones was so welcome and wonderful. There is so much storyline to explore -- I want to see Frisco and Maxie find their way to healing. I want Maxie to yell at him, to say, "I have issues with men because you abandoned me." Or "While you were out protecting the world as a spy, my sister was murdered." I want those big, passionate scenes, and I hope they are coming and that Frisco's return isn't merely stunt casting.

That being said, I want Mac and Felicia to stay together in spite of Frisco's return. Mac deserves a happy romantic ending, he was left holding the bag for those two flakes and raising their kids for years, so he better get to keep Felicia for all his trouble.

Another return is on the horizon this week as Genie Francis is set to return as Laura Spencer. Last we saw Laura, she was off to France to receive "treatment" and was never heard from again.

This is a big deal to me. Laura is the reason I got hooked on GH. I started watching back in the 70's (yes, I am that old), and Laura and I were about the same age. I was mesmerized by all her adventures and romances. I remember Luke raping her, and I confess I felt as sorry for Luke as I did for Laura because I knew he wasn't a monster, but a desperate person who did a desperate things -- and both Laura and viewers forgave Luke's actions enough to accept their eventual marriage. At the time it was the most watched event on TV.

I don't care how good Luke might be with Tracy or Anna or any other lover he has had. I want Luke with Laura. I know a lot of people will disagree vehemently with me on that, but I think there are people who belong together. There are people who fit, who make each other better, whose love affair makes sense to no one but each other.

On paper, Luke and Laura shouldn't work, but when they are together -- it's magic. You can't explain it, or list 20 reasons why it is true, it just is. There is an "Us" with Luke and Laura. The two of them together become something when they are together that they are not when they are apart. Sure, they could both have successful relationships with other people, but why? When you've found the person who makes you become the best version of yourself, to look further would be sheer insanity.

Will the writers put them together? Possibly, but probably not right away. I tend to think they will make the devoted Luke and Laura fans sweat it out for a while. Are there those who think Luke is better with Tracy? Yes, but they are wrong. With Tracy, he does what he wants, makes excuses, and apologies until she forgives him. With Laura, he softens and becomes a better man in order to be worthy of her.

If you disagree with me, please write and tell me why I am wrong. Give it your best shot to persuade me to change my mind. But it would take a miracle.

Readers, I must confess something to you. I am also rooting for Sonny and Connie, and I did not expect to root for them. I was a huge fan of Megan Ward's, and I was determined to never like Kelly Sullivan out of loyalty. And in truth, I never liked Kelly as Kate, not one day. However, I really love Kelly as Connie Falconeri.

Is Connie the alternate personality, or is Kate? Only her DID doctor knows for sure. But when Connie came to court this week to drop the charges against Kristina, I saw this look in Sonny's eyes I haven't seen for a long time, and I melted a little. I think he kind of likes Connie a little, although he's still in love with Kate. It's like a three-way but with just two people!

One three-way that has ended is the Britt/Patrick/Sabrina triangle because evil Dr. Westbourne finally got busted. I have longed for the day that would happen.

And being the mature rational professional doctor that she is, Britt immediately started throwing things around the exam room and blackmailing people. I think we know how this will play out. Maxie will go along with Britt to cover up her lies about the baby, then eventually will have an attack of conscience and confess. This will probably involve the adorable Emma, because doing things to upset a little girl who lost her mommy will be more than Maxie can bear. I think Britt needs to find some 50 Shades of Gray boyfriend to tame her into submission.

The great comedy of the week was the wacky trio of Lucy the Vampire Slayer, Heather "Crazy Calling" Webber, and Todd "Scarface" Manning busting out of Ferncliff together. It's been a long time since we had three crazies on at once. What great chemistry and comedy in those scenes. Robin Mattson's Heather is the funniest villain ever, and one of the slickest. She's the kind of crazy person who most frightens society because she can appear perfectly normal in small bursts. When Heather explained to Kevin Collins about the hospital workers' strike, I almost believed her myself.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Rafe steal Molly from T.J. with tricks he has learned from his vampire daddy? Will Michael and Starr convince ELQ to buy stock in Reddi Whip? Will Caleb bite Olivia and put her out of her LSD-induced misery? (Please, I beg you.) Will Alice get fired for serving guests the ghetto combination of Ritz Crackers and Pickle-Lila Relish for afternoon tea? Will Carly run off with Todd and accidentally discover the curiously missing Morgan?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in as long as there are tomorrows.Tamilu