There's something in the water

No one is safe after Jerry Jacks unleashed a deadly pathogen in the water supply. Meanwhile, Jax returned with a mission, Tracy and Joe hit the sheets, Olivia saw Ewen for who he really is, and Trey and Kristina eloped. It's time to catch up with the latest goings on in Port Charles with this week's edition of the good-for-what-ails-you Two Scoops.

Hold onto your Brita water filters, folks, because Jerry has decided to poison the water supply.

As far as evil plots go, that is a pretty good one. However, like that random person who beams down with the Star Trek crew during visits to hostile planets, I suspect that the only real victims in this crisis will be the Port Charles residents who we see lurking in the background or people like Shawn's date, Rosie, and that orderly that Epiphany had accused of stealing drugs from the supply closet.

I have heard rumblings that there might be one or two familiar faces that might fall victim to Jerry's plot, but they won't be shockers. These kinds of storylines are generally used to weed out the characters that have fallen by the wayside or no longer interest the viewing audience.

That said, Jax is back and looking mighty fine. I have no idea how long Jax will be around, but it's certain that he will be here long enough to deal with Jerry. Jax might be the only person who can actually save the day, because Jerry's little Grinch heart has a soft spot for his baby brother. Unfortunately for Jerry, he has no idea that Jax is in town and now vulnerable to the pathogen that Jerry put in the town's water supply with Joe's help.

Joe is officially a cretin in my book, because he not only doesn't seem to have any qualms about exposing an entire town, including innocent children, to a deadly mystery toxin, but he feels spunky enough to charm Tracy into his bed.

What the heck was Tracy thinking? I get that she's somewhat on the rebound from Luke, who flew to Lucerne, Switzerland, to help Anna look for Robin, but have some self-respect lady. I can't believe that Tracy doesn't see Joe as the smarmy snake oil salesman that he is.

The good news is that Luke will likely be back on the market soon, if rumors are true about the return of one of Anna's past loves.

I like Anna and I like Luke, but I just don't like them together. Their romance just doesn't feel right to me. They have a good-friend vibe, not a couple vibe like Luke and Tracy do. As for Tracy and Joe, that pairing just gives me the heebie-jeebies.

I don't find anything appealing about Joe, especially his obsession with pushing his reluctant son into a marriage that Trey clearly doesn't want. I don't blame Trey. Kristina isn't exactly the brightest bulb in the package and she has a chip the size of Mt. Everest perched on her shoulder.

I found it quite curious that Kristina didn't question why a camera crew wasn't accompanying her and Trey to Las Vegas. Wasn't the point of them getting married to have a hook for the final episode of Mob Princess? How can you have a reality show wedding without anyone filming it?

Despite my issues with this storyline, I am happy that we will not have to see Kristina during this crisis. I'm sorry, but I have not warmed to the actress, so the less that I see her, the happier I am.

Back in Port Charles, Ewen is quickly unraveling. Gone is the sexy hunk that I once lusted after. Dr. Charming is no more. I thought that Olivia's vision of Ewen, as the devil with pointed eyebrows, grayish-hued skin, blackened teeth, and evil expression, was not only chilling, but accurate.

I was delighted beyond measure when Liz put the brakes on Ewen's attempts to woo her into bed. I loved that Liz wanted to take things slowly, not because she senses that something is off with Ewen, but because she wants to make better choices. It shows growth and maturity, something that is often lacking with soap characters.

Let's face it, if all soap characters learned from their mistakes then there wouldn't be anything interesting to watch.

However, as a Liz fan, I was happy that my girl is showing some wisdom. I also loved that Liz put her foot down to Ewen driving home after he had been drinking. In all of this madness, it's nice to see an occasional responsible message put out there. I know that it was a plot device to garner a reaction from Jason at seeing Ewen strut his stuff in Liz's house the following morning sans a shirt, but I don't care.

Drinking and driving is dangerous, so the more that we drill that message into people's heads, the better.

I honestly don't know what to make of Jason these days. He's sending out a lot of mixed signals. He insists that he and Liz are just friends, but he kissed her on the bridge, seems to always turn up on her doorstep, and confessed that he couldn't take it if anything happened to her. Then there is Sam. He pines for her and tells her that he'll do anything to save their marriage, but then agrees to give her a divorce without any argument.

Not that Sam seems too heartbroken about the end of her marriage. This week, Sam and John had a little chat about their kiss. Again. And again, Sam tried to downplay the kiss by insisting that she and John had been in a bad place. I respected John for admitting that he hadn't told Natalie about the kiss because he couldn't assure Natalie that it hadn't meant anything to him. John kissed a girl...specifically Sam...and liked it. Kudos to him for owning that.

I don't blame John for being drawn to Sam. Things were clearly not all that rosy with Natalie, if Natalie was able to walk away from John over a kiss, without giving him an opportunity to explain himself. That she would issue a restraining order against John, in an attempt to block him from seeing Liam, is another red flag that there was trouble in paradise long before that kiss happened.

Of course, all of this was necessary because Natalie is not part of the show, so the writers had to find a way to explain why John won't be returning to Llanview and why he won't be a part of his son's life. The writers could have simply killed off Natalie and Liam, but that's like cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Setting things up like this leaves the door open for Liam, and even Natalie, to pay John a visit one day down the road to disrupt his new orderly life. That is the stuff of soaps.

Another great moment this week happened with Lulu and Dante. The doctor revealed that Lulu wasn't pregnant, despite what the pregnancy test had said. According to Dr. V., Lulu's false-positive result might have been due to a defective pregnancy test, human error, or a chemical pregnancy. What's a chemical pregnancy, you ask? It's when the fertilized egg doesn't advance beyond the first couple of days, which turns out to be quite common.

I love when a show teaches me something new.

Lulu and Dante were disappointed by the news that the unplanned pregnancy had been a false alarm, so they decided to start a family, which is almost unheard of on soaps. Soaps are notorious for putting the cart before the horse or for using family planning as a big angst-ridden ordeal. I appreciate that Lulu and Dante are doing things the old-fashioned way and will not have any trouble starting their family. I know this, because the doctor assured Lulu that she was healthy and fit.

I look forward to having a fun pregnancy play out on our screens. Another bright spot this week was when Shawn asked Alexis out. The actors have good chemistry, and the characters complement each other. Shawn is calm and steady, while Alexis is a neurotic mess. It's a great combination that has the potential to give us endless hours of entertainment. It's also going to make T.J. and Molly crazy, which will provide Shawn and Alexis with some challenges.

Finally, thank you, Cartini, for the Lucy Coe and Erica Kane shout-out. It made this soap fan very happy to have that nod to ABC's rich soap opera history. I know that it's unlikely that we will ever see Erica Kane again, but Lucy Coe and Kevin Collins are another matter. I doubt that Ewen will be sticking around, so it's the perfect time for Kevin's return.

• I am so excited that Ingo is back!! I love the character of Jax!! I think that Ingo and Laura have wonderful chemistry as CarJax. That is my favorite relationship for Carly. - Kristy

• Jerry Jax plan explains why Robin death faked. Robin was the only doctor with the medical skills to stop Jerry Jax plan. - Margaret

• OK, I've figured out why Jerry took Robin. We now know that Jerry wants to kill everyone off in PC with some sort of biological weapon/virus. Robin is a lab research genius, excelling in solving medical mysteries and finding miracle cures. He needed to get her out of the picture in order to proceed with his diabolical plan. Once he releases this deadly virus in PC, who will find the cure? - Mandy

• Whatever happened to Bobbie Spencer? I don't remember her having a specific exit. She just disappeared. There have been so many storylines when you would expect to see her. It would be great to bring her back. Especially with Jerry back in the picture. It's been totally forgotten that she and Jerry were once an item. Wow, I must be showing my age! - Becky D.

• I love the direction of GH and the story lines are intriguing! I wanted to say that Joe Jr. plays the role of villain excellently. However, I can only watch his scenes in short spurts because I almost feel seasick with his bobbing back and forth. I nicknamed him Mr. Bobble Head. I also want to say how much I enjoy your Two Scoops columns and writing--way to go! - Laura L.

• I'm going nuts over here. Who are these people? This is not the Jason and Sam I remember. Love has always been their strength and I don't recall Jason ever being such a jerk! I know the writers are trying to make fans dislike him to possibly accept John and Sam well that's not gonna happen. I don't want John and Sam to find the baby. I want Jason to prove his love to Sam and him and Sam to go on the adventure to find the baby. I've been a long time fan of GH and there are just some couples that when you say one name the other name automatically rolls with it... Example Luke you think Laura, Anna with Robert, Felicia and Frisco, Lucky and Elizabeth, Robin and Stone, Sonny and Brenda, Monica and Allen, Ned and Lois, Bobby and Tony, Nichols and Emily and of course Sam and Jason. - Deserie

• I sadly completely agree about Jason & Sam's marriage, though at this point I do blame Sam. Not that Jason was entirely blameless in all of this but Sam was the one who took it upon herself to move out instead of staying and fighting for her marriage and she's the one who has become emotionally attached & attracted to someone else. Yes, Jason has spent time with Liz but that's a friendship that goes back almost 15 years and they had a child together. Sam just met John McBain like 5 minutes ago! There's simply no excuse, and if she says that kiss didn't mean anything or "we were drunk" one time I'd like to slap her! Gah - Lyndsey

• Yep, loved the column as usual though GH has been usurped by the Olympics for past week and Time Warner screwed our DVRs. As for Sam and Jason, why marry them in the first place, just to break them up? Ditto, if Liz/Jason didn't work before, why would it now when, as you've pointed out, nothing's changed. And, regardless of Sam's baby issues, I think she would have had the same reaction and actions with John if she had never been pregnant, since she seemed interested from her first meeting with him...Yum, yum, Jason who? - Monique C

• Hi, my name is Kitty and I am a Liason fan. After all these years, I still see the chemistry between Liz and Jason, so I'm rooting for them. I know that the odds are against them, but I've always been a sucker for the underdog. Jason is a kinder gentler person when he's around Liz and Liz is more self assured and feisty when she's around Jason. - Kitty

• The newest villain in Port Chuck; Todd. What can I say I love the guy! Good, bad, semi-evil or full blown demon Todd Manning is one funny, suspenseful and downright scary, at times, guy to watch. And I have to agree with several fans analysis that Carly, dear Carly, does not know Todd Manning and does not know what he's capable of. - Nonniepat

• I can't take it anymore! Please get rid of this NuKristina. She has the emotional range of cardboard, which was glaringly obvious during those scenes when Alexis was surrounded by her daughters while clinging to life. It's a good thing that Kelly and Haley were there to save the day, because it was downright painful to [watch] NuKristina. - Lisa

Thank you for taking the time to email me. I wish that I could have shared all of the wonderful emails with you, but there were simply too many. However, I loved reading what readers had to say, so please keep sending those emails.