She's like an addict, and you're a big hunk of crack

Two people confessed to shooting out Anthony's tires, but who is telling the truth? Meanwhile, Jason and Sam continued to drift further apart, Patrick returned to work in time to save Ewen's life, and Matt learned that he was responsible for Lisa Niles's death. It's time to catch up on what's been happening in Port Charles, so let's dig into this week's Two Scoops.

Finally, someone said it; Sonny is crack to women. We, the viewers, have known that for ages.

It will forever remain a mystery to me how Maurice Benard managed to keep a straight face when Connie told Sonny that, because I laughed until my sides hurt. I'm still laughing, as I write this, because it was just so darn funny.

The timing of that line was pure genius. The scenes prior to -- and following -- Connie's brilliant, yet incredibly witty, observation were extremely intense, so it was completely unexpected, and a refreshing interlude from all of that heavy drama.

For days, people had been telling Sonny that Kate was in serious trouble, and that her dissociative identity disorder was real, but Sonny refused to buy into it. He was so stuck on the "She cheated on me" song that he simply couldn't hear what anyone else was saying.

I admit that I wanted to clock Sonny a time or two, because he also suffers from a disorder that had led him to do some extremely horrible things. He looked like a flaming hypocrite every time he accused Kate of fabricating the split personality to get herself out of trouble. I was frustrated, because not once did anyone point out that if "Kate" was happy enough to be caught in bed with Johnny, then she wouldn't need to make up a story to excuse her behavior, especially one that had the potential to napalm her career.

However, all is forgiven, because I now know that Sonny's stubbornness was needed to get us to those pivotal scenes on Friday, when Sonny finally realized that Kate really did have DID. My anger towards Sonny leeched out, as he stood there, watching Kate through the two-way mirror, while she tearfully confronted Connie about the shooting and sleeping with Johnny. I wanted to hand Sonny my hankie as he wiped away his tears, because it was clear that his heart was bleeding for Kate.

Kate's pain was palpable. Kelly Sullivan is proving time and again what a truly gifted actress she is. The writing for this storyline is phenomenal, which I never thought that I would say when it first became clear that we were headed down this road. Like Sonny, I had a closed mind, because I was never a fan of DID storylines. I practically ground my teeth down to nubs when I was subjected to the ridiculous antics of Niki and Tess on One Life to Live.

I despised those alters, because they were evil and superficial. I never got the sense that they were trying to protect their host personalities. They just came off as selfish and campy. It appears that Ron has learned a valuable lesson, because Connie is nothing like Niki or Tess. I actually like Connie, and understand her.

It's clear to me that Connie is motivated by a desire to protect Kate. Everything that Connie does is to that end. She doesn't want to kill anyone. What happened to Ewen was a knee-jerk reaction, because Connie felt cornered. Ewen was going to stick her in Shadybrook to "cure" Kate, which would have left Kate once again vulnerable to Sonny's crack charm.

My hope is that when Kate and Connie are integrated, they become a blended personality. I really don't want Connie to go away completely, because Connie is daring, funny, and quite clever.

Is Connie confessing to the crime because she thinks that Sonny won't want to be with a woman who was responsible for the death of an innocent child? It appears so. It seemed absurd to me that Connie would be able to handle a car like an Indy driver, and shoot like a marksman. I don't care what Olivia says about her cousin's mad skills with firearms. Olivia is a hater, and clearly still has issues because Sonny ditched Olivia for Kate when they were teenagers.

My money is on Johnny. His confession makes total sense to me, given how much Johnny hates Anthony, since learning that Anthony had pimped out Johnny's teenage sister-mother to an old coot. Plus, prior to the shooting, Sonny showed up ready to turn Johnny into Swiss cheese because of the attempted murder of Dante. I recall that Johnny was more than happy to point Sonny in Anthony's direction.

I can see Johnny ordering that henchman that he was talking to on Friday to take out Anthony and then frame Sonny for the deed. After all, Johnny knew that Sonny was on the hunt for Anthony when Sonny left the penthouse on that fateful night. If things had worked out, Johnny would have killed two birds with one stone. Sadly, two birds did die, just not the ones that Johnny had intended.

If Johnny turns out to be responsible for Hope and Cole's deaths, then Todd will make Johnny pay. Speaking of Todd, he delivered one of my other favorite lines of the week:

Todd talks to Carly regarding what he overheard when Kate confided to Alexis that Connie might have caused the accident

"I'm not sure what's wrong with this town. Sonny, Carly, Johnny, Connie..."

Roger Howarth is simply a joy to watch. Who I don't find amusing is Ta.

I get that Ta hates Todd. She has every reason to, because, as far as she and everyone else is concerned, Todd killed Victor. No one knows that Victor is alive and well, tied to Allison Perkins' bed, while she reads her manuscript about Llanview to him. However, Ta is representing Starr. She claims to love Starr, which means that Ta needs to take her anger down a notch, because as much as Ta hates Todd, Starr loves him more.

I was annoyed by Ta's highhandedness when she barred Todd from seeing Starr, and the way that she talked to Kate when Kate tried to confess to Starr. I wanted to scream, "Shut up Ta," but I doubt that Ta would have heard me, because that woman could put a Screech Owl to shame. If Ta is going to stick around, I want her to consider therapy, because all of that anger cannot be good for her baby.

Perhaps Ewen could see Ta, now that he's on the road to recovery, thanks to Patrick. Poor Patrick, this is just not his year. His wife was kidnapped by someone who staged it to make it appear that she had perished in a fiery explosion, and now his brother is going to go to jail for manslaughter. I have no doubt that Matt will do the right thing, not just because Jason Cook is leaving the show, but because Matt loves Maxie.

What Matt did wasn't cold-blooded murder, because there was no premeditation, and Matt was drunk as a skunk. Plus, Lisa was on a homicidal rampage. Matt literally stumbled upon Lisa just moments after she had knocked out Robin, so it's highly likely that Lisa would have killed Robin if Matt hadn't whacked Lisa with that wrench. I'm not sure why Maxie is leaving that crucial detail of the story out, but I suspect that it's because it would make what Matt did justifiable, not criminal.

If it's not criminal, then there would be no reason for Matt to disappear from our screens.

Before I move on to the mess that is Jason and Sam, I'd like to mention how freaking awesome it was to see Liz light up with joy when Patrick told her that Ewen had been asking for her. It's so nice to see her happy again, and embarking on a relationship with Dr. Delicious.

I know that there are some who fear that Jason and Liz will find their way back to each other, especially when there is such strong chemistry between Jason and Liz, and Sam and John. I admit, I'm a Liason fan, and always have been, but I don't want them to happen now. I'm very much annoyed with Jason at the moment, because, to quote Lucy Van Pelt, he's being a blockhead.

Yes, Franco killed people for pleasure. Yes, Franco was twisted. Yes, Franco arranged to have Michael raped, and then raped Sam. However, that doesn't mean that Sam's baby is tainted. Jason claims that he fears that he will see Franco when he looks at the baby, therefore, Jason doesn't know if he can love it. Newsflash, Jason: Franco was your twin, which means that Franco was from the same exact gene pool as you. That baby will have the blood of Susan, Alan, Edward, and Lila flowing through its veins, as well as Sam's blood.

There was a time that I thought perhaps the writers would, in the end, make that baby Jason's, but I really hope that they don't. Not after the way that Jason has been behaving. I suspect that the real reason that Jason doesn't know if he can love the baby is because it will be a constant reminder of Jason's failure to protect Sam. It's selfish and ridiculous.

How many people has Jason killed? He, more than anyone, should appreciate that when someone is determined to commit a crime, they will commit it. Franco was a criminal mastermind, so there was no way that Jason could have foreseen that Franco would have drugged Jason and Sam. The last time that I checked, Jason didn't have the gift of reading minds, so there was nothing that Jason could have done, except maybe return to Port Charles and then seal himself and Sam off from the world, growing their food on the balcony, and collecting rainwater in buckets.

If Sam is able to love that baby, then Jason should too. It's that simple.

I feel sorry for Sam, because she has spent years twisting herself into a pretzel and making compromises to be with Jason. The one time that she needs Jason to return the favor, he would rather let her walk out on their marriage than try. If I were in her shoes, I'd take that dragon figurine that she's carrying around, and poke Jason in the eye with it, and then serve him with d-i-v-o-r-c-e papers.

Sam has desperately wanted to have a baby, since the stillbirth of her daughter. She even went through special surgery to make her dream a possibility. She not only suffered the devastating heartbreak of the death of a child, but she also had a baby ripped out of her arms when the birth mother changed her mind about letting Sam adopt the infant girl. It's cruel of Jason to make Sam feel guilty for loving this miracle child, just because he's not the baby daddy.

It's for that reason that I don't want Jason to be rewarded with the baby being his when he eventually sees the light. He needs to put his money where his mouth is, and love that baby, because it's Sam's child, and his niece or nephew. His reward will be the privilege of raising a child.

• I would love to see Carly and Todd hook up because they are both equally messed up. I don't know what to do with Johnny, but please keep him around as I love the scenes with him no matter who he is with. Perhaps they need to put him back with Lulu since she is going to go off her nut since she was kidnapped by Ronnie. LOL » Linda R.

• Ah Jason... what is going on with you my friend? Are you really so worried that Sam will leave you for John McBain, and is intentionally meeting John, that you can't see what you are doing to your wife? » Nonniepat

• No one should take a DNA test at GH Hospital. I think Heather has changed the test. She said she wanted the (Sam's) baby to be Franco's. Then she smirked. What do you think. » Shirley M.

• In general, still liking the show, except once again this whole Sam and John thing, and I hope the end of the vampire references is near. It wasn't really funny the first time, so it's long past being funny. » Rebecca J

• I was sooo happy when OLTL actors came over to GH. I've watched AMC OLTL and GH for ages... Please give John McBain a little more of himself back, he wouldn't stay away from Natalie and Liam to hang around Port Charles! Give them a little air time too because without them John's storyline is unbelievable. » Tammy

• Did anyone else notice as I did while re-watching last Tuesday's GH over the weekend that in the background of the scenes between Sonny and Jason the picture of Kristina is no longer that of Lexi but of the new actress playing the role instead? » Joseph G.

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