Classic, or just plain lazy?

There are people who like to watch things over. My husband is one of them. He will watch his favorite movies over and over. He watched Groundhog Day on DVD last week and he's probably seen it 100 times.

There are people who like to watch things over. My husband is one of them. He will watch his favorite movies over and over. He watched Groundhog Day on DVD last week and he's probably seen it 100 times. There are people who enjoy watching Nick at Night and Hulu and watching "classic" episodes of Happy Days or The Nanny. I am not one of those people.

Sure, I have exceptions to that rule, and 99% of them are Christmas-based. I'll watch Miracle on 34th Street or It's a Wonderful Life every Christmas without fail. But in general, I'm not interested in watching something I've already seen. I have a storyline-driven mind, which is why soaps are such a great fit for me. If I already know what happens next, I'm no longer engaged. "What happens next?" is the driving force for my viewing of serialized and episodic TV.

Thus, when we're right in the middle of a juicy storyline on Thursday, I look forward to Friday. I'm dying to see what happens next. But I didn't. Instead, I got home from work on Friday, popped open a nice bottle of red, nuzzled into my favorite chair all set to unwind with some juicy daytime drama, and instead I got another freaking rerun. Oops! I mean "classic" episode.

I understand that there are times when it doesn't make sense to air a fresh episode. Say it's Superbowl Sunday and as a programmer you know that 85% of the TV sets in America will be tuned to football -- maybe you don't run a really funny new episode of How I Met Your Mother on an opposing network. Sure, I get that; it makes logical business sense.

But for them to air a repeat episode of GH on a Friday afternoon in a sweeps month makes very little sense to me. When I saw it was a repeat, I clicked "off" and stopped watching. Do the advertisers who air commercials on ABC know they are getting pimped out on reruns of a soap opera? Worst of all, it wasn't even a "good" rerun. I mean if you have to show a repeat, at least draw out something magnificent from your 30-year archive, not the snoozefest that aired Friday. Yeah, I know, weddings, Valentine's Day, blah, blah, blah. I still turned it off.

Okay -- enough ranting. In fact, probably too much ranting, but now that I am only writing every other week, I have backlogged ranting in my brain.

Let's get to what actually happened in the four new episodes we got to watch this week. Brenda's wedding dress got hacked up, and her wedding site at the pavilion was flooded. Was it her archenemy Carly who did the deed? Although Carly's business card and letterhead were found on the scene of both crimes, I'm not sure Carly is the culprit. Since Franco is back this month, it seems like a game he'd enjoy playing, too -- getting everyone in Jason's orbit all stirred up and then launching a surprise attack. But then again, Suzanne is dead set against the wedding, too -- and she's been in and out of Jason's penthouse a few times lately -- did anyone see scissors sticking out of her purse?

For the record, although half the town wants the wedding to stop, I don't. I want the wedding to happen; I want this decade-plus love to finally get its happy ending; I want all the angst and tears and missed opportunities these two have endured over the years to have been for something. I want love to win. I want them to succeed. Yes, Sonny and Brenda's relationship is all-consuming and they lose themselves in each other. Hooray for them is what I say about that. I hope if Carly bursts in and tells Sonny Brenda's secrets, that he says, "So what, I'm marrying her anyway." I hope if the Balkan tried to kidnap her, that Max and Milo beat the smarmy out of him. I hope that nothing, nothing, nothing stands in the way of these two people who have foolishly and clumsily loved each other for years finally ending up as man and wife.

Lucky "fake arrested" Siobhan and they sprinted off to Ireland as if the Balkan wouldn't notice they were missing. Seriously, how can everyone in town not know that Theo is the Balkan by now? He's made no secret of his loathing of Brenda and "Dan-tay" as he questions them for the case; he has bullied and blackmailed Alexis; he had meetings with Siobhan as both people, and she didn't recognize his voice when he used his fake accent; he dropped Dante's secrets to Lulu -- what real attorney would be breaking confidentiality and telling relatives and friends of his clients their secrets? This storyline has gone on far too long.

I voted last night in the Dankies, and if "The Balkan" storyline doesn't win for "Least Favorite," I'll be shocked. While I love the actor that plays the Balkan/Theo -- the storytelling is convoluted. I don't like it when a thing is obvious and the characters are written stupidly and don't notice.

On the upside (and this is a slight spoiler), our poor brain-damaged hit man Jason will be the one who finally links the fact that Theo and the Balkan are the same person. Phew. I was seriously running out of patience. I thought maybe Alexis would have a red flag the day Theo launched into her about going home to raise her children instead of being a lawyer -- but maybe she was too focused on daydreaming about Mac.

But probably not. Every holiday, they trot out the notion that Mac and Alexis should hook up and be a couple -- but nothing ever comes of it. Of course, since we got a rerun on Friday, maybe I'm all wrong. Mac and Alexis might be making love on Monday and I just don't know it yet. But I doubt it. I either would like to see the two of them genuinely become a couple and become a great example of mature love, or stop dangling it in front of us all the time. It's like a musical resolve -- you must play the last note or the song is left dangling in the air without any resolution. I'm the sort that sits in my car and waits for a song to finish before I get out, so -- maybe it's just my own quirkiness that likes things to end properly.

On the romance front -- Lulu showing up to take Dante to the opera was a ten for me. Dante lied to her, he withheld information about a past he shared with another woman, and yet -- there she was, at the door, breathtaking in her gown, with two opera tickets in her hand. It made my heart melt. I love this coupling and am so pleased that it appears they are going to make it over this bump in the road. But there are more secrets -- will Dante be forthcoming and tell Lulu *everything*? Or will he foolishly wait until Carly blurts it out at Sonny's wedding?

In other news of the bizarre...Ladies, if you were supposed to meet your husband at a hotel and you knocked on the door and another man you knew appeared wearing only a towel, would you go in and dine with the half-naked man and forget to meet your husband? Yeah, me neither. (Unless the half naked man was John Travolta.) Patrick needs to hire gumshoe Spinelli to dig into Terrell's past because it seems a simple search would show he and Lisa worked together in the past. That would end all speculation in a matter of moments.

Patrick unsuccessfully attempted to get Johnny to admit he was covering for Lisa again. Methinks Johnny has some issues where Lisa is concerned. The day Johnny was describing Lisa, I tweeted to my followers that it sounded strangely like Johnny was describing his sister Claudia. I think there's something Oedipal going on here -- he's smitten with Lisa because she reminds him of his dead sister in some way. Maybe he's going to try to save her since he couldn't save Claudia? I like the concept, but I still miss JoLivia.

Dear readers, is it possible that after all this time, fair Samantha is pregnant? Oh, I hope so -- if only to see if she stops wearing tank tops and buys maternity clothes. Jason loves Michael like a son, but isn't his dad. Jason has a son named Jake whom he gave up for the sake of safety. Maybe if Sam is pregnant and Jason wraps his head around the idea of fatherhood, he will reclaim his firstborn son, too. If Elizabeth gets killed off, they have to do something with her three kids -- I just pray Lucky finally finds out the truth that Aiden is his child. Helena hasn't been seen lurking around the castle lately, but she must have left the real paternity results somewhere.

I don't know if Liz will be killed off, or just sent off. I pray it's just sent off because I want TPTB to realize down the road they made a grave error in getting rid of a core character and bring her back. They made that mistake when they killed off Emily and subsequently botched the return with Rebecca -- maybe they learned their lesson and will leave the door open for Elizabeth to return down the road. Here's hoping.

One thing GH has handled perfectly is Michael's long-awaited confession that he was raped in prison. Every character in every scene was riveting in their response to the tragic revelation. Carly was so tender and beautiful with Michael in the aftermath, I almost forgot what a conniving shrew they turned her character into as of late.

Dante's struggle with his conscience, for me was one of the most compelling storylines of the week -- I love internal morality battles, where a character second guesses his choices and tries to make peace with something he wishes he hadn't done. Dante's remorse was very realistic to me -- my dad was a pastor, and he used to say, "People judge themselves by their intentions, but judge others by their actions." But Dante turned the tables on himself this week and realized that although his intentions were good, the actions he took resulted in his little brother getting sent to prison and raped. He can't give himself a free pass on that anymore just because his intentions were pure. I really love the way this part of the storyline is unfolding.

On the other hand, Carly has no real remorse, she just wants to blame and destroy Dante. She doesn't blame Sonny for marrying nut job Claudia in the first place; she doesn't blame Jason or herself for the cover-up they launched after Michael killed Claudia. And let's rewind for a moment -- if they had gone to the police with the truth at the moment this happened, Michael would have been justified in acting in self-defense. Half the town saw Claudia kidnap Carly (who was in labor) at gunpoint, so Michael would have been justified in hitting her to save his mom and newborn baby sister. But Carly blames Dante, unable to see a clear reflection of herself in the mirror.

Michael refuses to blame Dante and has insisted that Dante not quit the police force over what happened to him. The brotherly bonds between Dante and Michael are a thing of beauty. In Carly's quest to destroy Dante, I don't think she understands how much Michael has come to love his brother. The two of them openly confide things in one another, advise each other, support one another -- I grew up as an only child and when I see relationships like that, it makes my heart melt. I wish I had a brother like that -- anyone want to adopt a middle-aged woman for their sister?

Michael has started therapy, but in his quiet moments, he's plotting revenge on Franco for sending Carter to attack him. Great idea, kid -- take on a deranged serial killer. I'm looking forward to the next chapter in the saga of Franco, but I keep wondering how they will tie in the Balkan storyline and Franco's... Are they connected, or are we going to have two murder and mayhem storylines going on simultaneously?

And one more pet peeve I have to mildly rant about... I love Tony Geary. I love Luke Spencer. I've been watching him on GH since I was in high school, a really long time ago. And Luke didn't used to be the class clown. While I enjoy Luke and "Spanky Buns's" occasional antics, it seems that they only use Luke for comic relief these days and that makes me feel cheated. Tony Geary can act. He can bring us to tears or take our breath away. Why can't they find something for him to do other than bicker with the also underused Jane Elliot? I would like these two to get a storyline that doesn't involve anything ridiculous -- something with a little weight to it. Let me know when my order is up, fry cook.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Brooke Lynn sing "Material Girl" at Jake's and make Liz's head explode? Will Tracy get fitted for an orange jumpsuit over Luke's jewel heist? Will Robin wander into a hotel room with more half-naked men she barely knows for steak? Will anyone ever go see Morgan, who is presumably still ailing from post-bus crash injuries, in the hospital? Will Molly start teaching seminars on PTSD at PCU? Will Spinelli call Sam and Jason's baby Stone Cold Jr. or Fair Samantha the second? Will Brenda wear a tank top and jeans to marry Sonny as she threatened in her catfight with Carly? (She could borrow one from Sam.) Will Sonny invite his non-dead ex-wives and girlfriends to the wedding? Will Mike be out of rehab in time to toast his son?