Baby, you give love a bad name...

Lorenzo has been playing the Forest Gump Card... "I'm not a smart man, Skye, but I know what an ambush is..." sort of tactics, but Skye has finally uncovered the truth.

Lorenzo has been playing the Forest Gump Card... "I'm not a smart man, Skye, but I know what an ambush is..." sort of tactics, but Skye has finally uncovered the truth. Her Baby's Daddy is a liar and has endangered her life and Lila Rae's by using her as a decoy for his devious plans against Sonny and Jason. Skye is finally going to grow a backbone and behave like the Skye we know and love again, which is evidenced by the fact that she made a beeline to Ric as soon as Alcazar's deception was confirmed.

Once again GH has resorted to gunfire and violence to try to liven up an otherwise dull period of storytelling. There was no real reason for the bloody ambush, other than some vague "I have to get rid of Sonny once and for all." logic from Lorenzo.

It did put Logan and Cooper into the Mob mix, which I suppose is meant to justify their existence. But I'm not sold. They've been hinting around that Logan is Scott Baldwin's son, but we haven't seen Scott since the hostage crisis at the Metro Court. In my mind, this is just another sad case of "Make a big deal of bringing back a veteran performer and then never use them until they get discouraged and leave again."

I'm bored and annoyed by this trend. If Logan IS Scott's son, then by all means - bring it on - the whole big juicy story... Did Scott cheat on Laura while they were married? Is Logan, perhaps, Bobbie's son? Did Laura have a child by Scott before they were married and give him up for adoption? Did Dominique have a child we are unaware of? Is Logan Serena's brother? In order to plausibly convince us that a man Logan's age could be Scotts' son they are going to have to do some fancy writing of wild revisionist history. But if that's the plan, I wish they'd stop dragging their feet and get to it.

Speaking of revisionist history, can anyone explain to me how Sam, who is presumably about 30 years old, could have been a salvage boat captain, a con woman, a petty thief, taken care of her mentally disabled brother, been married and divorced multiple times in order to con a plethora of wealthy men out of their fortunes, and all this prior to 2003 when she came to Port Charles and battled Jax for the Dead Man's Hand, got herself impregnated by both Sonny and Jason, did a brief stint as an intern at a law office, went to college for about 4 minutes, worked as a desk clerk at the hotel for about a week, and is now a TV host? That's one busy woman. If this new spin on Sam's life is to be believed and accepted by us, we need a few more answers. For instance, if Amelia's undercover work that says Sam married and divorced a bunch of guys under fake names for their money, the obvious question is, WHY DOESN'T SHE HAVE ANY MONEY? But you know me, I'm a stickler for details and when I see giant holes in a plot, I throw something through them.

The side plot that shows every news reporter in the free world stalking Sam before her stupid "Everyday Heroes' show has even aired a single episode is ridiculous. I have a friend with a role on a hit TV show. He and his wife don't have reporters hanging around their home every time they blow their noses, and he's already an established actor. The notion that Sam is so notorious having slept her way through the Port Charles Mob that she gets more press coverage than Prince William dumping Kate is ludicrous. But if that's the way we're going to play it, the fact that she doesn't care that her press coverage is endangering Jason and Sonny just further highlights her selfishness.

Of course these days, Sam is battling for the 'Most Selfish Babe in Town' Crown with Elizabeth. Elizabeth has gone into early labor and 'Not the Papa' Lucky (Bonus points if you get my obscure pop culture reference.) is by her side while Jason pretends to rush to the hospital to check on Sonny's condition when we all know he just wants to be near Liz and his baby. Liz's reason for lying to Lucky is classic enabling behavior. She thinks the things she does, or doesn't do can make Lucky stay clean, when in fact the choice is his. If he believes the baby is his, he can choose to stay clean, or use drugs. If he stumbles upon the truth that Jason is the dad, he can choose to stay clean and deal with his pain on his own, or use it as an excuse to go back to using drugs. Liz thinks that by denying Jason his child and the chance to be a Dad that she is saving Lucky. Wrong. The truth willcome out and Lucky will still have to choose how to respond to it whether the truth arrives now or later.

The truth has hit Dillon square in the face - his grand romantic gesture of creating a Parisian scene for his date with Lulu has fallen flat. Lulu didn't get it, and she doesn't get Dillon. Perhaps now Dillon will realize that he had a genuine soul mate and casually tossed her aside. He and Georgie were perfect for one another, but he wanted to sniff after Lulu instead. He had a woman who hung on his every word and cherished him, but is settling instead for brief brushes with Lulu who has 3 other men lined up fighting over who gets to date her. The sad truth is she really has no interest in any of them. Georgie of course was not an innocent in the demise of her relationship with Dillon. She wrote secret letters to Diego while he was in jail. She fawns all over Professor Pete until we all want to vomit. But now I think she realizes how rare and special her connection with Dillon was. Is it too late for them to find their way back together? I hope not. Georgie would have appreciated the Parisian scene, the vision of a creative dreamer - she would have played along and stepped into his fantasy. But Lulu's a realist. She doesn't have respect for the heart of a dreamer. She doesn't depend on the light of dreamers' dreams to make sense of the universe. But I do.

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Edward caught Tracy on tape admitting that she forged Alan's will, but rather than share that info with the rest of the family, he blackmailed her into giving him some of her ELQ holdings. This arrangement did not appease Alan's ghost, who continues to haunt Tracy. His attempts to scare her into confessing her sins have been unsuccessful, but he has at least managed to keep Tracy and Luke from having much of a love life. Ghosts in the room aren't much of a turn on, it seems.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Carly run straight from The Mile High Club of Jax's private jet to Sonny's hospital room in spite of promising Jax 5 times that he would come first now? Will Mr. Craig further frighten Kristina with more fake accents? Will Spinelli decide he'd rather be a biker than The Jackal and become the I.T. guy for the Hell's Angels? Will Georgie dress up in a Raspberry Beret and ask Dillon to treat her to a night in Paris? Will Coop still be dumb enough to flunk the police test even after Maxie stole the answers for him? Will Emily and Patrick hook up in a moment of mutual heartbreak?

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