Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama

Not only did Nik and Courtney end up on the same island in the Bahamas (there's more than 1 you know) but the same hotel, the same floor, and the same hallway.

If you've never been to the Bahamas, I'd highly recommend it. First, their dollar is equal to one of our dollars, so you don't have to do math and exchange rates in your head. Second, nice ladies sit on the beach and will braid your hair into 8000 braids with cool clicky beads. (Which sounds really awesome after 5 or 6 Bahama Mama's but less so when you're back home and your whole family is trying to untangle your hair from those tiny rubber bands for 3 hours.) Third, it's apparently only a 4 minute flight from New York, and flights seemingly depart every 14 minutes, as Courtney, Nik, Em and Jax all flew down there in record time and all arrived just a few minutes apart. Oddly enough, Jax didn't fly his own plane as usual, but actually flew commercial. Emily didn't use her family's private plane, either. And as far as I know, Courtney didn't take Sonny's plane - so what's the point with all these rich people having their own private jets and then flying Delta?

Turbo travel aside; think about this for a minute. Think about the worst thing that has ever happened to you. No really, pause here and think about it. Now, think about where said thing took place. Do you have happy fond feelings about that place? No, of course you don't, most likely you'd rather drive by and spit on it than take a vacation there. The last time Courtney flew to the Bahamas alone, AJ ended up dead, she became the prime suspect in the murder investigation and creepy Rachel blackmailed her for months and tried to force her to kill Steven Weber, the amazing vanishing doctor. Taking that into account, imagine your husband says "Hey Courtney, why don't you fly on down to the Bahamas alone and I'll catch up with you." Wouldn't your response be something like "HELL no!"? I had a very bad car accident in Jackson MS, 20 some years ago. There is not a guy in the world, not even Jax, who could persuade me to vacation alone for even an hour in Jackson, MS. Courtney apparently is less neurotic than I am and didn't let that whole "framed for murder and blackmailed by a psychopath" thing ruin her warm regards for the Bahamas.

Not only did Nik and Courtney end up on the same island in the Bahamas (there's more than 1 you know) but the same hotel, the same floor, and the same hallway. Mmm Hmm. That DOES seem a bit suspicious, doesn't it? Let's face it, Nik was in prison a long time and when he got out Emily wouldn't give him any due to his uncanny resemblance to her rapist, so the boy does have some unfulfilled needs. I'm with Jax and Emily - too much of a coincidence that they ended up in the exact same spot in the world, in the same hotel room, and in bathrobes.

But we are to suspend our disbelief and just believe it's "fate." Frankly, I'm getting a little cynical in my old age. What happens to you in your life and how your life unfolds is due much more to the choices you make than to fate. When you're married, the sad truth is there are just some people you can't spend time with. There are people throughout the course of your lifetime that you will 'click' with and people you are drawn to, but if you're married, you already made a vow to God not to 'click' with anyone but your husband. So, when Courtney and Nikolas realized they were in the same hotel across the hall from one another, knowing they are both in rocky marriages and fighting an attraction to one another, one of them should have moved to another hotel. Seeing as how they are both millionaires they'd be well able to afford the cancellation penalty. While they are being truthful when they tell their respective spouses that they didn't have sex, the fact is, they are toying with the idea. Sin begins in the mind - you think it before you do it, which is why guarding your thoughts is so vital. They are mentally entertaining the idea of an affair even if they haven't done the deed. If not physical infidelity, it's certainly emotional infidelity. Mind you, Emily and Jax are not without blame. Jax has become obsessed with Liz who is the surrogate carrying his and Courtney's baby, who has left Courtney feeling alone, inadequate and insignificant. Emily has taken on extra shifts at the hospital to avoid being home with Nikolas, leaving him hurt and lonely. All of these 4 are in the wrong - none of them are the victim here. I TOLD you Liz couldn't keep her fat mouth shut. If Liz and Lucky are smart, they'll move to Beechers Corners and hide in the Whittaker's barn until the baby arrives to keep Jax from stalking them.

Dear readers, I have to say this - I am SO done with NuCarly. Lorenzo kicked her out, Sonny doesn't want her back, Michael doesn't even want to go to the park with her and she's his Mom. When Tamara Braun and Sarah Brown played Carly, she was mesmerizing. I loved the character. But now? Every time Jennifer Bransford comes on screen, I try to try to see her as Carly. I really want to like her and I simply can't. It's ruined the character for me, period. Carly has become very grating to me; it's like nails on a chalkboard. The Carly/Sonny thing, as dysfunctional as it was, used to work because of the chemistry between the actors. You believed they couldn't stay apart even though their relationship was a mess because we could visibly see the smoke from the sizzle between them. That no longer exists with Carly and... anyone. She has no chemistry with any of the key people in Carly's life. So, since Jason doesn't need her anymore and Lorenzo and Sonny are both done with her, can we please just send her away until ABC finds a more likable and suitable replacement? Or cough up whatever price Braun wants to come back... However, I really did like the cat fight with Reese and Carly, mostly because I enjoyed watching Annoyo-Carly getting hit.

So, someone drugged Maxie and Brook Lynn and got some cheesecake photos of Brooke, but none of Maxie. And they showed us paint on Lucas, as if to imply he's the guy. If it turns out he is the one doing this- EWWW. Can anyone say In-breeders, in their best Pauly Shore voice? After all, Maxie and Lucas are cousins, let's not forget. But, I doubt it's Lucas, as they wouldn't make it so obvious if it were, right? Who knows? Maxie is like a magnet for chaos and...men. It seems like they can't decide what to do with her. We have seen her with Diego, with Dillon and with Jesse. I know the pattern of having heavy teen action in the summer to lure new generations of teens to watch the soaps, and hey - it works, I've been hooked since 10th grade, but there isn't a clear story we are following here. Maxie had heart trouble and may need a transplant, then she was being chased by a rogue cop, and now she's been drugged and stalked by some freak who takes illicit photos of young girls after spiking their Pepsi at the Pizza Shack... These are individual unconnected incidents, not a STORY. Does anyone notice that but me? In contrast, I've been riveted by Y&R's summer teen storyline, as Daniel is being accused of driving drunk and killing Cassie Newman, although we know he wasn't the one driving. All summer long, there has been one story full of layers and nuances and repercussions in many families on the canvas. Rich writing and believable twists and turns - which may explain why Y&R is #1 and GH isn't. GH's writing staff hops from story to story to story and never finish one before beginning another one - it's like the writers have A.D.D.

Sam. Andrew. Jason. Ali. Allegra. First, I dig Andrew. He's very Jerry Jax-ish and I dig it. As to Allegra, someone needs to feed her a cookie or something, when she turns sideways, I can't see her. Maybe that's envy on my part, but even so... We all know this whole plot is an excuse for Kelly Monaco to strut her dancing stuff on GH, and that's okay with me. She's lovely and dances elegantly and I enjoy watching her. My only beef with this storyline is that other than the bangs, there is nothing to distinguish Sam from Ali. Their voices are the same, (We could always tell when Tyler was Connor as he had the dumb thug accent, and Nikolas spoke in polite and proper English.) and let's face it- the odds of finding an identical twin are pretty high, but finding one that sounds like you, too, even worse. My husband can never tell Meg Ryan and Melanie Griffith apart, (I know, I know, but he is a guy...) until they talk, and then he realizes which one it is and even though they are both blonde, they don't sound the same. I loved the scene where Sam married Andrew and when she said her vows saw Jason in her mind. It's the only way she could get the words out, keeping her mind focused on the man she loves and why she was doing what she was doing. Sadly for Sam, Jason's brain is giving out and he's having seizures and memory loss and (spoiler alert) one of these times after he comes to from these seizures, he won't remember Sam and he won't remember Jason Morgan and he is suddenly going to remember his past as Jason Q again... Or so the rumors are saying. I have to say, I'm looking forward to this storyline, assuming they actually follow it through and don't lose interest and switch gears on us. Imagine losing your memory, starting a whole new life and then years later, remembering your old life. Just think of all the possibilities there. Can his family ever trust him again after he's been a hit man all these years? Can he go back to med school and actually become a doctor? Will Sam love a straight laced Jason Q? Will Sonny be able to stay in business without his more level headed enforcer? Interesting concepts, don't you think?

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Ric go to work for Sonny and infuriate Alexis into running off to London with Kristina again? Will Skye crumble under the pressure of the Hospital's charitable foundation and start drinking again? Will Rosie have to take over running Courtney's foundation since she never goes to work? Will the makeup people be able to get Reese's bruise in the same place on Monday? Will Carly move into that room at Jakes where she used to be Jason's booty call?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.

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