Silver bells, stink bombs, and babies

For the Week of December 11, 2017
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Silver bells, stink bombs, and babies
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Everyone is in the holiday spirit, but a few are working really hard to stay on the naughty list. Can they turn things around before it's too late, or will there be coal filling the stockings around Port Charles on Christmas morning?

Carly's chickens have come home to roost

That's the first thing that popped into my head when Nelle tearfully, and quite dramatically, told Michael that she was with child. His child. Surprise!

Am I shocked by this development? No, not at all. It's become very clear that everything that comes out of Nelle's mouth is either a calculated truth or a manipulative lie. A woman capable of drugging a guy to make him think that they had slept together, who has no qualms about selling other people's secrets, and who betrays a friendship for quick cash, is certainly not above getting pregnant to trap a guy.

Plus, there were hints that Nelle was pregnant on Thursday's episode when she talked to Michael about how good he was with kids and when she teased Carly about being a "Nana." Carly's suspicion that Nelle was up to something and Nelle's cryptic reply that the time wasn't right to tell Carly just solidified my certainty that Nelle had a bun in the oven.

I have to say, I can't wait for Monday when we get to see Carly's reaction to the bombshell that Nelle, a woman who arrived in Port Charles to destroy Carly's marriage, is pregnant with Carly's grandchild. It's so reminiscent of Carly's early days when she seduced her mother's husband then passed off the baby she conceived during a tryst with the neighbor as her fiancé's.

Back in those days, Carly was capable of all manner of terrible misdeeds including drugging A.J., dousing him with booze, and dumping him in an alley for his parents to find. It was all done in the hopes of making him fall off the wagon, so he wouldn't figure out that she was pregnant with his child.

Nelle really has no idea who she's messing with. As low as Nelle is willing to go, Carly can and will go lower, especially if it's to protect her child.

Not that Michael appears to need much help now, since his eyes are finally, and blessedly, open to Nelle's wicked ways. Any lingering doubt that he might have had about Nelle's duplicitous nature vanished when Maxie and Lulu outed Nelle for selling Nathan and Amy's secret to the Invader.

I cracked up when Nelle denied it only to have Maxie and Lulu produce the picture they'd snapped of the check that conveniently noted in the memo section -- in big bold letters, no less -- that it was for the Man Landers tip. Nelle's attempt to wiggle out of it was impressive but annoying because it's Nelle's absolute inability to take full responsibility for her actions, and her endless excuses for her bad behavior, that ultimately shows her true nature.

Honest and decent people concede that they occasionally do stupid things, and they own it when they mess up. Weak and manipulative people blame others. No matter what, it's always someone else who drove them to do the terrible things they've done.

I'm thrilled that Michael has finally wised up, but I fear that it's too little, too late. Nelle is a prolific liar, but she's also smart. There's no way that she would claim to be pregnant with Michael's baby if she wasn't. Between the Corinthos and Quartermaine fortunes, there's more than enough money to pay for a paternity test anywhere in the world that isn't in General Hospital, where faulty results are churned out with alarming regularity.

With today's technology, there's a fairly strong likelihood that Nelle used an ovulation kit to determine the optimum time for her to get pregnant then she made certain to have unprotected sex with Michael during that timeframe. They were dating, so she might have told him that she was on the pill when she wasn't. Regardless, Nelle would have made certain to not only be pregnant but to be pregnant with Michael's child because Nelle's endgame is Michael's name, prestige, and fortune.

Much like Carly's ambitions had been a million years ago when she came to Port Charles and set her sights on Dr. Tony Jones.

If Michael is smart, he's going to ask Dante to take a second look at Nelle's hapless fiancé's death because I suspect that Michael is going to need all the ammunition that he can get to keep Nelle from walking away with his child.

As I said, I'm looking forward to seeing Carly's reaction next week. It will be epic.

By the way, I loved the zany Lucy-and-Ethel antics of Lulu and Maxie. I know it was silly and over the top, but it was fun. I laughed every time someone wrinkled their nose in disgust and asked what that foul smell hovering over Lulu and Maxie was, and I loved how the ladies shared their discoveries with Dante and Nathan then Michael. I also like the idea of Lulu and Maxie working Woodward and Bernstein style on news stories. It's a great way to give the characters something interesting to do, and the perfect vehicle to showcase a healthy friendship between two women -- a rarity on soaps.

What I didn't like was Amy's reaction to the news that Nathan and Maxie are having a baby. It didn't escape my notice that Amy frowned then pasted on a saccharine smile when she congratulated them. I've long believed that Amy has romantic feelings for Nathan, and I'm certain that I heard a tinge of jealousy behind those acrid words when she accused Maxie of leaking the Man Landers secret.

I also have an issue with Nathan offering to make Amy an honorary godmother to his child because he considered her to be one of his best friends.

Did someone drop Nathan on his head when we weren't looking?

How could any man, let alone a husband, be friends with someone who never has a kind thing to say about his wife? Who kicked off the friendship by stealing and lying? A person who exposed him to fraud charges that could have cost him his marriage, career, and freedom.

I realize that Amy did what she did for her brother, and Chet absolutely deserved it, but what about Maxie? If Amy truly considered Nathan a friend, she'd be nice to his wife. She would try to put the past behind her and make peace with Maxie rather than take every opportunity to accuse Maxie -- without a scintilla of evidence -- of betraying her husband by selling his secret to a rag-mag.

I don't buy Nathan and Amy's friendship. It feels forced and contrived. More importantly, it doesn't jive with who Nathan is. He's a wonderful guy who is completely and utterly devoted to his wife. A man like that would not put up with a friend, let alone a best friend, constantly disparaging the love of his life.

This week, the fallout from Drew learning that he was not Jason played out. No sooner had Drew managed to stand up and dust himself off after having his world turned upside down, than the Navy showed up to arrest him for desertion back in 2012 when he inexplicably vanished without a trace. The commander they sent to fetch Drew didn't buy any of the kidnapped, held for captive, and memories replaced in a mad-science experiment excuse that everyone, including the police commissioner, told him about and offered proof of, until Sam called in Jason.

Like the caped crusader that he is, Jason flew out of Greystone Manor on his bat-cycle (I made that up) and raced down to the police station to do Sam's bidding. In this case, she wanted him to help his twin. One look at Jason, and Commander Fuller was all ears as Jason told his story then assured the commander that Drew was not a willing participant in having his memories wiped clean and replaced with his twin's.

I no longer have any doubt that Patient 6 is indeed Jason because Jason has a unique way of pining for Sam but playing martyr and not fighting for her. He always leaves it up to Sam to make the first move, and I've always hated that about him because I feel like it's a cop-out.

Sometimes, a woman wants a guy to fight for her. To sweep her up into his arms like in An Officer and a Gentleman and carry her out of the crummy job at the factory.

However, in this case, I think it would be a pointless endeavor because I think that Sam loves Drew. He fights for her. He puts her, and their life together, first. It amazes me that everyone, including those who don't want Sam and Jason together (Alexis) don't even consider this to be a possibility.

Do they truly believe that Sam is so shallow that she fell in love all over again with the myth rather than the man?

I don't think it's even occurred to Jason to hang up his enforcer gun. Even now, after he lost five years of his life, his wife, and his sons, he's still all about Sonny. It's for that reason that Jason doesn't have a chance against Drew.

Not that I mind. I like Sam and Drew together, and I like Jason and Sonny's partnership.

With some help from Spinelli, Jason and Sonny zeroed in on Cesar Faison, but he managed to give them the slip. Britt wasn't as lucky. After a little chat with Faison's daughter, Jason was able to glean that Klein and Andre's boss was a mystery person who had worked with Faison and had been tasked with killing Jason.

This person supposedly was in Port Charles recently.

The obvious suspect is Jerry Jacks because he was in cahoots with Helena over the years. He has the means and motive, too, because there's been plenty of bad blood between him and Jason.

But there are some wild cards, including Nikolas Cassadine. Nikolas was rather dark a few years before he vanished (I refuse to believe that he's dead), and it would explain why he didn't kill Jason and instead stashed him in Russia. Nikolas would never kill Emily's brother -- or someone who was important to Elizabeth and Jake.

Could Nikolas be hiding out in the vast catacombs on Spoon Island? That would explain why the call to Klein pinged out of Port Charles.

Speaking of Elizabeth, this week, she and Franco decided to get married, which likely means that they are soon doomed to break up because it kind of came out of nowhere.

Elizabeth loves Franco, but he's foolishly keeping a secret that he never should have kept, and I'm afraid that it will have the power to tear them apart.

If you had asked me that last week, I would have said that even though keeping quiet about Andre's memory experiment was terrible, Liz would forgive Franco because the truth was out, and what's done is done. But then Kim asked about Liz and Drew's relationship and how Liz felt about how things had ended with Drew. Liz's non-answer surprised me as much as it did Franco, and for the same reason.

Franco's desperate desire to marry Liz sooner rather than later spells trouble. I'm not sure how I feel about that because I do enjoy them as a couple, but I hate that Franco self-sabotages by always keeping secrets from Liz, even after everything they've been through. I don't get why he continues to feel insecure about his relationship with her when they are living together, and she continually gives him chance after chance.

Eventually, Liz is going to get tired of it and Franco.

Random observations

If Spinelli can trace Liesl's burner phone, then why couldn't he trace Klein's call from the mystery boss?

I find it odd that there is an opioid crisis in Port Charles, yet Sonny, who has made it his mission to keep drugs out of his territory, hasn't mentioned it, let alone taken steps to stop it. What gives?

Call me paranoid, but I don't think it's a coincidence that Maxie and Nelle are both pregnant. I hope I'm wrong, but things are seldom random on soap operas. Could it be a setup for a baby-switch in seven or so months?

Reader feedback
I just love it when they gather all the "Usual Suspects" in the same room for a dramatic "BIG REVEAL." The best part is that this time, nobody's guilty of anything! I was counting on Dr Andre and Spinelli to put an end to this identity crisis once and for all, and they didn't let me down. As far as it went, overall the Big Reveal played out almost exactly as I had expected, but there are still several questions that neither Spinelli nor Andre can provide answers for, like how Andrew Cain came to Faison and the Cassadines' attention in the first place, and how they "acquired" him. Perhaps Dr O can fill in some of those missing pieces in the story. -- Scrimmage

Thank You ABC/GENERAL HOSPITAL for stellar Writing/Acting Teamwork giving us a "November to Remember" I have never looked forward to watching a soap every single day like we had with the "Tale of Two Jasons"--- Loved it!!??(and the best part is there's still more soapy angst to come!) #LongLiveTheSoapOpera!!!!!! -- wide awake in sleepy eye

Sonny and Jason have murdered and hurt FAR more people than Julian and everyone just shrugs and moves on. Sonny ordered Julian killed and killed an UNARMED AJ in cold blood, not to mention the random mob guy we all watched him kill as easily as a fly. I find that for more heinous than the murder of a mob boss, Duke, that knew what he was getting into when he accepted the position and told Anna as much at the time. As well as lying to protect his family as Sonny, Jason, Carly and everyone else in Port Charles has done. I don't understand why everyone hates Julian for doing the exact same things Sonny does, and with more remorse as far as I can tell. Hopefully someone can explain it because it seems off to me. -- Danielle

I think Sam molds herself into whomever the Man she's with wants her to be at the time:
Jason -- ride or die
Patrick -- Suzy home maker
Jason (Drew) -- family first, although she never has the kids. Alice and Monica should just adopt them and be done with it.
It's time Sam tried to be who she truly wants to be for herself. -- Kim

I don't know, but I have the feeling Faison is a misdirection and the boss is going to be Max Holden, er I mean Dr. Bensch. I remember when Sonny and Jason had the doctor tied up in the restaurant, they said the call was right there in Port Charles, so I don't think it's Faison, and maybe [Dr. Bensch] and Cassandra are in cahoots together -- a new Bonnie and Clyde thing lol -- Dan

Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts. I love hearing from readers so please feel free to email me or leave a comment below.

Take care and happy viewing,
Liz Masters

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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