Despicable me

Dastardly deeds abounded in Port Charles as T.J. lost his virginity to Taylor, Patrick and Sabrina decided to run a secret paternity test, Carly desperately tried to stay out of jail, and Elizabeth heard A.J.'s shocking confession about sleeping with Carly. Liz Masters takes a look at the dark side of General Hospital in this week's Two Scoops.

There certainly wasn't a shortage of despicable behavior this week, starting with Taylor, who managed to get T.J. to witness a very fortuitous kiss between Molly and Rafe. Taylor immediately capitalized on T.J.'s heartbreak by plying him with booze and then waving around a very large condom package that I initially mistook for a credit card. Seriously, that thing was enormous.

Naturally, T.J. took about ten seconds to think about it and then ripped that foil packet open with his teeth. Minutes later, T.J. lost his virginity in the back of a limousine to a girl that he's known for all of three days.

I don't like Taylor, but she made a valid point when she asked T.J. if he honestly thought that his high school romance with Molly would last. Don't get me wrong, I know that it can happen, so I'm not completely cynical, but these days it doesn't happen often. It's one of the reasons that I wasn't really all that fond of the way T.J. reacted to Molly clearly moving on with someone else.

I do think that Molly has moved on, despite her claims to the contrary. I can see that she has deep feelings for Rafe. The way she kissed him said a lot. A young romantic girl like Molly doesn't kiss a boy unless she has genuine feelings for him, so I suspect that Molly is denying her feelings for Rafe because she's afraid of the unknown. T.J. is someone she's familiar with and trusts, so she'd rather fix that relationship than explore one that she has no control over.

Unfortunately, I think that T.J. did the unforgivable by sleeping with Taylor. How can Molly ever believe that he truly loves her when he was able to sleep with a girl so easily just because Molly had kissed another boy? Molly could have forgiven a kiss, but not T.J. giving his virginity to a relative stranger.

It's hard to feel sorry for T.J. when he reacts to a kiss by sleeping with the first girl to fall into his lap. That said, I don't want T.J. to be stuck with Taylor. No one deserves that.

The more that I get to know Taylor, the more I suspect that her parents sent her away because they can't stand the little blackmailing monster. Yes, there was that glimmer of humanity when Britt asked what Taylor was holding over Felix's head and Taylor seemed to become protective of her brother, but then I realized that it was probably because Taylor didn't want to risk having to share the hold that she had over Felix.

Taylor really does appear to be the female version of Morgan, who sank to new depths when he not only stole Michael's credit card, promptly racked up a $10,000 gambling debt, and then lied about it, but then acted like it wasn't a big deal. This is not the Morgan that I knew before he was sent away to military school.

The Morgan that I remember was a kind, smart, compassionate, and sensitive boy. This Morgan is an asshat who treats his brother deplorably for no reason other than that he can. Morgan is despicable, indeed, because he's a thief and a liar. I think it's very telling that we haven't seen him make any effort to visit Dante or his sister, Josslyn, or his parents. I know that Sonny and Carly agreed to give Morgan some space, but there's space and then there's outright distance. Neither Sonny nor Carly has called, texted, or checked up on Morgan except through Michael.

It's sad and could explain why Morgan is such a complete jerk, but I don't want Morgan to be stuck like this. I want the sweet Morgan -- the one who was smart and had potential, not this ridiculous caricature that doesn't bear any resemblance to the boy that I watched grow up. This is exactly what went wrong with Kristina when they recast her with Lindsay Morgan.

Morgan makes me almost want to root for Michael and Kiki, except I cringe at the thought of cousins making out. It's not just me. The show seems to be making a very clear effort to remind me time and again just how wrong a relationship between Michael and Kiki would be. This week it's been driven home by everyone from A.J. and Duke, to Morgan, Michael, and Kiki that a relationship between Michael and Kiki would be incestuous and disastrous.

I know that there are those who like the chemistry between Michael and Kiki and don't see a problem with the show exploring a romance between them, even if they are cousins.

I've received emails reminding me that there was a time that it had been socially acceptable for cousins to marry and that there are several states that permit cousins to marry. I decided to do a little research on the matter because I was interested.

From what I was able to find, there are states that permit first cousins to marry, but they often have stipulations, such as genetic counseling. There are also states that won't allow cousins to marry if both are able to procreate because there is an increased risk of miscarriage, stillbirths, and premature births for cousins who have children together. The offspring are also at greater risk for genetic disorders and cancer. Several of those states require that the cousins be over the age of 50, even 65, before they can marry. New York is one of the states that doesn't permit first cousins to marry, not that it matters to the writers.

On a soap opera, the writers hold the fate of children in their hands and bend the law to suit their agenda. If Michael and Kiki hook up and have an unplanned pregnancy, the baby is more likely to succumb to the Quartermaine staircase than to any genetic disorder, like the rare heart defect that Alan, A.J., and Michael were each born with.

Luckily for Franco, he apparently was born without a heart.

I really want to like Franco, and I was starting to warm towards him until I realized that he wasn't really reformed or looking for redemption. I had almost forgotten that Franco had tainted the relish to make ELQ vulnerable for a takeover. Boo. I wanted Franco and A.J. to bond as brothers because I think it would be interesting to see each of these deeply flawed men build each other up. We so seldom see those kinds of stories; this would have been the perfect opportunity to see them develop a real brotherly bond. Heaven knows, we aren't going to see it happen with Michael and Morgan.

The only person, who seems to like Morgan, other than Kiki, is Ava, who has turned out to be surprisingly despicable herself.

I'm really loving Maura West and think that she has mad sexual chemistry with everyone she shares a scene with, including Duke. Those scenes in A.J.'s office weren't just hot, but downright fascinating. They gave us the first real glimpse of Ava, and I personally found her intriguing. Duke was right; it was clear that Ava was playing a game of cat-and-mouse and relishing every delicious second of it. I'm certain now that Ava is Victor Jerome's youngest daughter.

I also noticed that great big anvil that the writers dropped in the middle of the scene with Ava and Duke when she asked him if he thought that the Jeromes were responsible for the botched hit on Franco. At the end of Friday's show, Dante learned that the rifle, which I assume was Shawn's, recovered in the landfill didn't fire the bullet that struck Olivia. The signs seem to point to Shawn missing his target and another sniper striking Olivia.

Now, if you don't like spoilers, please skip the next paragraph. I am going to speculate about a spoiler that's been circulating for a while.

Word has it that Sam's father is finally going to be revealed. I am almost certain that we are going to learn that Julian Jerome is the boy who got Alexis pregnant in boarding school all those years ago when the Jeromes were at the height of their power. It's like Beetlejuice. If you say a dead person's name on a soap opera three times then that person will appear. We've heard Julian's name more than three times, so I wouldn't be surprised if he's already in town, wielding a sniper's rifle.

Speaking of sniper rifles, Carly spent the majority of the week trying to keep her impulsive behind out of jail by trying to convince Shawn that the absolute worst thing that he could do was turn himself over to the police and confess to his crime. It's true that I don't like Carly, but this week, she looked particularly bad.

Josslyn once battled cancer and lived because Elizabeth gave Josslyn the gift of life by donating Jake's kidney. Yet, did Carly stop by to check on her dead best friend's son, who was diagnosed with leukemia? Nope. She doesn't even know that Danny has leukemia because Carly never bothered to pick up the phone to call Sam. At least, not that we were told.

Despite all the dirty deeds this week, there were some very pleasant surprises.

To my everlasting joy and happiness, Silas shed that hideous ponytail, and let that luscious mane of his flow free around his shoulders. It immediately shaved ten years off of him. He also *gasp* added some color to his wardrobe instead of looking like he shopped at a second-hand thrift store in Transylvania.

I like the Silas that I saw this week and definitely want to see more of him.

Another pleasant development this week was Patrick's decision to go ahead with a secret paternity test. I know it's shady and a bit underhanded, but I can't say that I wouldn't do the same thing in Patrick's shoes. Britt is not to be trusted in any way, so it seems like the most reliable way to be sure of the results. However, this being a soap opera, I'm sure that Britt is going to somehow get wind of what's going on and find a way to tamper with the results of those tests.

That lab at GH isn't exactly known for its reliability when it comes to paternity and DNA testing.

Also this week, someone over the age of 18 took off their shirt. Finally! It was nice of the writers to remember that not all of us want to see young naked boys.

I loved that Nikolas oh so gallantly stripped off his wet t-shirt and handed it to Liz, even though he was so blatant about showing off the goods to her. After Liz peeled her eyes off Nikolas' impressive pecs and picked her tongue up off of the ground, she wisely marched herself to a nearby bathroom to exchange her wet blouse for his t-shirt. I love that he literally gave her the shirt off of his back, even though it turned out the little stinker had another shirt in his duffel bag. One of the great things about Nikolas is that he never stops trying with Liz and will use any trick that he can, even stripping.

More and more, I'm losing interest in A.J. and Liz and liking the idea of Nikolas and Liz. As much as I love A.J., he seems to be stuck. Even Patrick and Sabrina have managed to squeeze in some intimacy time, but A.J. barely got in a peck on the cheek with Liz.

It's a good thing that Cam is a tech genius at the tender age of ten, or however old he's supposed to be. Cam not only managed to fix Nikolas' phone but, with Spencer's help, found the recording of A.J. confessing to hitting the sheets with Carly. Not only hasn't A.J. made love to Liz, but he's slept with Carly.

I don't think that is something that Liz is going to forgive. It's not A.J. sleeping with Carly that's going to be his downfall but rather that he didn't tell Liz about it right away. He might have been able to salvage the relationship if he had been honest from the very beginning. After all, A.J. and Liz had technically been broken up when he slept with Carly. However, he covered up what he did, and that is a broken trust that isn't easily repaired.

As of fan of Nikolas, Liz, and A.J., I'm in a win-win situation. I will be happy with whoever she ends up with, but I don't want her to end up with A.J. as long as he remains trapped in Carly's web, which it appears he is.

Finally, I would like to give a great big shout-out and congrats to both Julie Marie Berman (ex-Lulu Spencer) and Kristen Alderson for their Daytime Emmy wins. Kristen picked up the statue for her role as Starr Manning for the scenes following Hope and Cole's deaths. I was so happy for both of these ladies and proud that they had each won for their work on General Hospital.

Be sure to check out Soap Central's extensive coverage of The 40th Annual Daytime Emmys, including wonderful video interviews with the stars.

A few things that tickled my fancy

(Felix catches Taylor sneaking into the apartment after being out all night)Felix: "I had to witness this proud moment. My little sister's still in high school, and she's already mastered the walk of shame."

(Silas talks to Sam about his impression of Lucy)Silas: "No, she needs help. I mean, like, psychological help -- like, Vienna-doctor help."Sam: "Why is that -- because she called you out?"Silas: "Because she's crazy!"

(Alexis sees Silas standing next to Sam at the hospital)Alexis: "What are you still doing here?"Silas: "Loitering."

(Sam explains to Alexis why Silas didn't take Rafe to Manhattan)Sam: [Sighs] "It means he's pretending to have a soul."Alexis: "Yeah, well, good luck with that."Silas: "Thank you. I'm not looking forward to it."(Kiki looks through the selection of bathing suits for guests in the boathouse)Kiki: "Ugh. Who are their guests -- Alice's wrestling buddies?"

Thank you for taking the time to read this week's column. I love to read your thoughts, too, so click here to send me an email or scroll down the page to leave comments.

Until next time, dear readers, take care. Liz Masters

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