Do I dare say it? Welcome back, General Hospital!

Somebody pinch me. It's like someone read my wish list for things I want to see changed on General Hospital, waved a magic wand, and made it happen last week.

Somebody pinch me. It's like someone read my wish list for things I want to see changed on General Hospital, waved a magic wand, and made it happen last week.

• Michael is taking a job at ELQ, instead of with the mafia! Check.
• Mac had lots of screen time. Check.
• Liz told Nikolas and Lucky that he is her baby daddy. Check.
• Edward Quartermaine was scheming to get Michael to work for him and shared scenes with Jason. Check.
• Lisa is in a coma and off my screen, no longer able to outsmart world-class brain surgeons. Check.
• Sonny and Alexis were humorously co-parenting, instead of fighting mob legal battles. Check.
• Characters had entire conversations about long-forgotten show history. Check.
• There was a wonderful balance of humor, drama, and romance. Check.
• For once, Friday's show didn't end with a gunshot. Check and hallelujah!

I'm hesitant to get too optimistic, yet, that this new direction for General Hospital will stick. But if this week is any indication of things to come, I'm more excited than Luke at happy hour. Just consider these conversations this week that I never thought I'd hear: Sonny Corinthos admitted that he played a part in AJ's downfall. Edward scolded Jason for not inviting the Quartermaines to Michael's graduation and said that they were "deeply hurt." Jason stood up to Sonny about Michael's job as a coffee warehouse worker versus taking a position at ELQ. Edward even mentioned the infamous Quartermaine house argument between Monica and Alan that I never tire of hearing: Monica: "This is my house." Alan: "I gave it to you." It seems Michael is going to return to the Quartermaine fold, and I couldn't be happier. To quote Edward, "There is no good reason to bring up a child in a war zone." Enough said. Getting Michael involved with the Quartermaines is going to create plenty of drama, and I can't wait to watch it unfold. Sonny is already worried that Edward will turn Michael against Sonny. (Ironic, considering that he, Carly, and Jason turned Michael against all the Quartermaines, when he was barely out of diapers.) But Sonny is right. Can you imagine the storyline possibilities, if Michael finds out that AJ signed away his parental rights hanging on a meat hook after being beaten by Sonny's goons, or that Carly drugged AJ and soaked him in alcohol to make him think he had fallen off the wagon? If that history is uncovered, considering Michael's recent history of feeling powerless in prison, Michael will have plenty of reason to question Jason and his parents' actions back then. I was stunned when Sonny lectured Jason about how Michael would be better off working at Sonny's coffee warehouse than at ELQ. I love Sonny, but wow, does he have a warped sense of reality. I don't know any father that would rather have his son working near a mob front, where killing people is the norm, rather than a job with ELQ. I was also laughing at the picture Sonny was painting of Edward as a scary force. Sure, Edward is a manipulator and shrewd at business, but he doesn't kill people! I'm just thrilled that the Quartermaines, the long-running core family of Port Charles, are forefront in a storyline again. I hope the trend continues. If Ned Ashton returns, Dillon Quartermaine is recast, and the Nurses Ball comes back, I will absolutely be sending someone at ABC flowers and a gushing love note to welcome back General Hospital. Meanwhile:

Good news, Scoopers. The Spencer house wasn't really destroyed in that fire last week. The house looks suspiciously identical to that brothel in Florida where Luke is visiting. General Hospital has been stingy on the humor lately. Thankfully, this week, we got it back, thanks in part to Spinelli's traumatic injury. After waking up from his gunshot wound, Spinelli had a personality twist and thought he was a 1940s smooth-talking detective, Jackal P.I., as he calls himself in his novel. When Jason burst into Spinelli's room, demanding Spinelli work his computer magic and track down a business accounting problem, Spinelli looked cluelessly at the laptop and quipped, "Where's the handle on this thing?" Priceless. For more hilarious lines, check out the Best Lines of the Week section at the end of this column. So it looks like Sam isn't pregnant. I'm glad she finally got the test results. As long as this uncertainty has been going on, I was ready to go buy the girl a stick to pee on. As much as I love Mac, I truly think the PCPD needs an overhaul. The hostage crisis showcased just how inept the cops are without the help of town hero, Jason Morgan. When Dante is taking mobster Jason into a hostage situation, instead of his fellow cop, Ronnie, something isn't right. And when Dante leaves psycho Lisa unconscious and unrestrained in a room with her hostage victims, well, something isn't right. (That warranted an eye roll from me.) Perhaps Dante needs to have a refresher course in police procedure.

If Jason wants to be a hero at every crisis situation, let's send him to the police academy and make him a top-notch detective. With his crime background, he would have excellent connections to help solve crimes. Let's face it, Jason is a great hero. Although we haven't seen it in Port Charles for decades, cops can be competent, exciting, and sexy. See any one of the crime procedurals on primetime television for evidence. Where do I begin raving about the Sonny and Alexis scenes this week? These two are hilarious, trying to deal with their rebellious teenaged daughter. More please! These are real issues that all of us face, and what parent hasn't dealt with a teenager wanting to date an older mate? Watching feminist Alexis face off against Sonny had me chuckling. When Alexis called Sonny a hypocrite for chastising Kristina for her crush on Ethan, but not being upset that teenaged Michael was living with an ex-stripper, she was spot-on. Sonny's response was perfectly in character: "It's different. Michael is a boy!" Alexis threw up her arms before storming out in disbelief. Thank you, GH! These were great scenes. So who wants odds that when Kristina breaks off her chemistry-test kiss with Ethan, he'll be more affected than he thought? Yes, I see these two as a potential romantic couple. Sonny's head is going to explode. It was great to see Rebecca Herbst back onscreen after her illness. I'm so glad it was her who got to tell Lucky and Nikolas the truth about Aiden's paternity. Those scenes were powerful. Congratulations to General Hospital's Laura Wright and Jonathan Jackson on their recent Emmy wins. As for my opinion on the Emmy broadcast as a whole, perhaps the less said the better. It's clear to me that the Emmys are not interested in showcasing soaps anymore; reality and daytime talk shows are the new zeitgeist. Last year, in my Two Scoops column, I wrote an angry rant about my disappointment in the Daytime Emmy show because of the lack of time and respect given to soaps and their nominees. (My editor and I respectfully disagreed about some parts of the show, and he included his explanations, as well.) If you take my comments from that column and multiply it by two, that's my opinion of this year's show. Sigh. What did you think of the Emmys, Scoopers?

(After being shot, Spinelli wakes up from surgery as his alter-ego, a 1940s- tough-guy detective, Jackal P.I.)Maxie: "How are you feeling?"Spinelli: "I've got a hankering for some chow and a shot of whiskey."Maxie: "If you had a shot of whiskey you would fall down drunk or be completely nauseous."

(Maxie tells Sam that Spinelli woke up different and has become the character from his book.) Maxie: "He's calling me things like "doll face" and "sugar lips." The nurses are "dames." He even called Diane, "Cookie."Sam: "Did she threaten to sue him?" Maxie: "No, the woman is perverse. She liked it."

(Alexis tells Kristina that she is going to be punished for her recent behavior.) Kristina: "If you're going to cut me off at the knees, Mom, just do it." Alexis: "Did you learn that regrettable expression from your father?"

(Sonny tells Brenda that he has an appointment, and she assumes it is business.) Sonny: "It's scarier than business... (It's) Alexis. She's coming over to talk about Kristina."

Thanks to all of you who shared your thoughts about Katie Couric's new talk show taking General Hospital's time slot. I appreciate all the feedback. Here is what some of your fellow GH fans are saying -- and if you'd like to see your comments in one of my future columns, be sure to use the Feedback option at the top of the page, at the end of the column, or by clicking here.

From Two Scoops reader Alice:I have been a faithful GH viewer since April 1, 1963. The only times I have not been able to watch was before the invention of the VCR, because I had to support my children, but I kept up through the magazines. I am about to retire and had looked forward to watching the ABC soaps in real time for the first time in almost 40 years. I cannot express how disappointed I am in ABC, since I have always watched them first. I do not intend to watch Katie Couric (or any other talk shows, weight loss, or cooking shows.) I need my soaps. This is just totally ridiculous, and if GH is cancelled this viewer will never watch ABC again.

From Two Scoops reader Paula:Why (are networks) so concerned with the 18-yr-old demographics? What about my generation? I have watched GH since day one. I was 15-yrs-old, and hardly missed a day. I am 63, almost 48 years watching the show. I hope ABC does not take General Hospital off The air. There are still tons of us baby boomers who are totally devoted to GH.

From Two Scoops reader Debbie:Have you seen the titles to the two new shows they are replacing the soaps with? If ABC takes General Hospital off the air I will never watch another ABC show again. That's including Good Morning America and on up. I'll switch to a different TV station. I love the ABC news but, I will do what I've got to do.

From Two Scoops reader Amelia:I am a dear GH fan. In fact, I am very much a soap opera fan. I really don't watch a lot of television, but I do watch General Hospital, which I DVR every day. What I want to know is what more can I do to tell those in charge that changing the ABC line up by adding another talk show will do nothing for the viewers? To me it is like eating the same thing every day! Who wants to eat hamburgers every day and every meal. The same can be said for the talk show. We have so many talk shows now on television that it is hard to decide which one to watch. The people in charge [should take] some measure to have different programming options available for the viewers. ABC is making a huge mistake by canceling GH, because I believe the ones of us who love GH will stop watching ABC.

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