Smackdown!

I hereby nominate Steve Burton for a Daytime Emmy. Not that I have such powers, but if I did, I would totally rig it for him to win.

I hereby nominate Steve Burton for a Daytime Emmy. Not that I have such powers, but if I did, I would totally rig it for him to win. The scenes between Burton and Drew Garrett this week were blazing hot. I would wager that the GH audience collectively cheered when Jason called Michael a little bitch. My Twitter page lit up like a Christmas tree with GH fans delighted by the scenes.

Michael has been out of control since he emerged from a coma, but how much of that has been caused by brain damage and how much is just sheer arrogance and bad behavior is unclear. But Jason isn't giving Michael any wiggle room. He made it pretty clear: "Go to school, or I'll make you." Man, I bet all moms wish their kids had an Uncle Jason who could scare them into behaving.

It's all about consequences. As Jason pointed out, when Michael misbehaved as a child, everyone chuckled. Michael got spoiled and had no boundaries in his life. But that bad behavior without punishment has turned him into an out of control teen. Since Sonny is too busy trying to get into Olivia's pants, Uncle Jason is stepping up to assume the father role for Michael, and not a minute too soon.

There is so much turmoil in the Corinthos family at large, and unknown brother Dante has a mess of his own brewing.

Dear readers, can you really call yourself an undercover cop anymore when half the town knows you're a cop? Let's take a tally: Lulu, Lucky, Mac, Olivia, and Jax all know Dante's true identity. All of those people have somewhat regular interactions with Sonny and are blabbermouths. If bossy Ronnie knew that Dante had blown his cover with four outsiders plus his mom, he'd be calling an emergency laundromat meeting to revise their strategy.

Since we all know that Sonny isn't going to prison, I hope they reveal Dante's real identity soon. I want Sonny and Dante to know they are father and son, and to see their whole messy relationship unfold. That would be a nice little Christmas gift for viewers, especially if Dante did something heroic to keep Sonny out of jail or save his life before he knows Sonny is his dad, so we can get right to the hugging.

On the other hand, I hope Sonny stays mad at Olivia for a really long time. I want Olivia to be "dead to him" so Sonny will stop getting between her and Johnny. Johnny and Olivia have that "je ne sai quois." On paper, they shouldn't have anything in common, and yet, they fit. I like watching them together, and Sonny has been keeping them apart. Once he realizes Olivia has lied to him for 20 plus years, that should extinguish his passions for at least a little while. "Sometimes a cannoli is just a cannoli."

Jax has been such a jerk lately, bullying Dante and interfering in his investigation, I can hardly stand him. I wish I had a magic phone to call fictional characters so I can tell Carly what her husband's been up to behind her back. At least in the end he erased the incriminating recording he 'dmade of Sonny. Jax was correct in assuming Carly would never forgive him for that sort of betrayal. Mind you, I understand his motives are pure. Jax fears for his children's safety, but maybe he should focus on finding Uncle Jerry and getting him arrested instead.

Dear readers, do you ever see something on GH and say to yourself, "Why didn't they write it like that three months ago?" I know I do. I even say it out loud to my TV and my trusty dog Bushi. When I saw Rebecca Shaw this week, the real Rebecca Shaw, the deliciously nasty version that wasn't being written like Emily lite, I wondered why on earth the writers didn't write her that way all along.

There were two possibilities when Rebecca appeared. 1) She was not Emily, just a scam artist look-alike, or 2) She was Emily and had been secreted away by Helena and brainwashed. We weren't sure which, and clearly, neither were the writers.

When Rebecca first showed up in town in a leather jacket and lots of eye makeup, with a tough demeanor, we liked it. But somewhere along the way, I think the writers couldn't decide what they wanted to do with her, or if they wanted to turn her into Emily or not, so they wrote her to be... boring. Every time she came along, I dozed off a little and started looking for something shiny to amuse myself. But when the character reemerged this week as the bad girl we were introduced to, viewers were thrilled. I can't tell you how many positive tweets I read about "Bad Becca" this week, people were thrilled to see her again. But sadly, now it's too late. Her time at GH is nearly over. Just when the writers and viewers are enjoying the character, and rediscovering her worth, POOF, she's gone.

I have to say Nikolas hitting Rebecca with his car was unintentionally hilarious. Nik was driving along, and all of a sudden we heard a giant THUD and a squeal. The thud could have been a deer or a moose, but the added squeal gave away the fact that it was a girl. I knew I was supposed to be scared for Rebecca's life, but instead, I laughed.

With Rebecca's ultimatum on the table, will Liz come clean and confess to Lucky herself rather than let Rebecca take a stab at him? I found it amusing the Liz got so possessive of Lucky, seeing as how she is banging his brother behind his back.

Maybe Liz's real problem is with Lucky's patchy facial hair. I can't decide if he's trying to grow a beard, or if someone smeared some Chia seeds on his chin. Of course if he shaves it all off, he won't look tough enough to be a cop, but I have heard from some viewers who would prefer a full beard to the random little tufts of hair floating around his face.

Liz did get one piece of good news this week, her brother Steven Lars Weber has come to town as the new chief of staff at GH and has already saved her from killing a patient! Added bonus, he is played by the handsome, charming, all-around wonderful guy, Scott Reeves. He and his wife came to my church once for a concert and I stalked them all evening instead of paying attention. Hopefully God wasn't trying to tell me anything important that night.

I felt bad for Luke this week. He is dreading the heartbreak he knows his son is headed for, but is powerless to stop it. Ethan asked Luke, "Why do you look like someone just killed your puppy?" and Luke replied, "Someone did, my firstborn." Luke is in such angst for his son, but Lucky refuses to take the hints Luke keeps dropping him. Their relationship is so tenuous that even when Luke truly has his son's best interest at heart, Lucky has shut his dad down time after time. Hopefully when Lucky finds out the truth, he will turn to his dad for support. (Yes, I just hope that because I love the Geary/Jackson chemistry and I want more, more, more.)

I have heard from many of you this week who want to know why we hear about Franco more often than we see him. Well, that's an easy one. James Franco was only contracted for 20 episodes, and they intend to make those 20 episodes last as long as humanly possible.

Franco is unbalanced, to say the least. The look on Jason's face when Franco was dancing around the room like a Fanboy meeting a superhero was priceless. Sure Franco is nuts, but Jason still could have eaten some of Franco's party snacks. After all, Franco went to so much trouble to make a nice festive atmosphere. Didn't Monica teach him anything about manners? Oh yeah, that's right...Car. Tree. Head. Jason wouldn't remember.

Franco thinks Jason is his soul mate and wants to be his partner in crime. Jason informed Franco that he worked alone, and Franco looked very peeved. Once Franco realizes that Jason is not as enamored of his work as he is of Jason's - what will he do? It's clear that Franco knows Michael killed Claudia, so will Jason put a bullet in his head, or will Franco convince Jason he's worth more alive than dead?

Spinelli overheard Maxie confess to Sam about her involvement with Franco, and I have a hunch he won't be able to forgive her so easily this time around, seeing as how they are pretend married. Spinelli is pure of heart and thought; the commitment they made was lasting, but Maxie, like Liz before her, used "The Girl Can't Help It" defense. "I didn't mean to cheat, I just got swept away." If this wasn't a family friendly column I'd mention a certain barnyard animal and his excrement.

Hey ladies of Port Charles and Tiger Woods: You CAN help it. Jut say no and keep your pants zipped!

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Franco paint a portrait of Jason eating Pringles and mail it to him? Will Spinelli track down that nerdy FBI chick for his New Year's Eve date when he decides he is done with Maxie? Will Lucky get Jake and Cam a Foster puppy for Christmas that he trained to bite Uncle Nikolas? Will Steven Weber get a second chance to date Carly when she finds out Jax knew Dante was a cop? Will we see Grandma Leslie and Bobbie and Laura and other missing family members for Christmas in Port Charles?