The Big "O"...

What a lovely breath of fresh air blew in from Bensonhurst. I dig Olivia. Olivia is the chick that you want to go to happy hour with after work ends on Friday night; salt of the Earth, straight forward, no nonsense.

As in Olivia Falconeri, of course. Wow. What a lovely breath of fresh air blew in from Bensonhurst. I dig Olivia. Olivia is the chick that you want to go to happy hour with after work ends on Friday night; salt of the Earth, straight forward, no nonsense. The exact opposite of Kate "Oh no that necklace doesn't match my dress" Howard. Sonny's surprise gift to his new bride, a visit from her long lost cousin was well received at first, but Kate became increasingly uncomfortable as the day wore on.

There is a certain type of person who is very used to getting their own way because they sign everyone's paychecks and thus people have to humor all their quirks and unreasonable demands to keep from being fired. Olivia pointed that out to Kate: she didn't have a single real friend, only employees who were at her beck and call for cash and who could be fired for disagreeing with her. If Olivia would have been Kate's employee, she would have been fired, but Olivia wasn't a flunky and didn't back down, so the entire church was treated to a loud shouting match between the two long lost cousins much to Carly's delight. I loved how much Carly loved Olivia. The sheer joy and radiance on her face after discovering Kate was just Connie from the Block was palpable. No fear, this isn't the end of Olivia. She has a BIG secret she's been keeping all these years, and it might find its way to Sonny's ears this week. All I can say is I am betting his sperm was just as potent back when he was in high school.

But, shouting matches and wedding festivities aside, the real story is that before a single vow was uttered, a shot rang out. Apparently superstitious Kate should have taken heed of all those bad omens, because it was not a nice day for a White Wedding after all.

Poor Sonny, can you believe it? His 32nd attempt at marriage started out just as dismally as all the others. Okay, before you write me angry letters telling me Sonny hasn't been married 32 times, I realize that, it's just a small dose of sarcasm. But Sonny has been married almost as many times as Liz Taylor or Larry King and there's a reason people make jokes about it - because if you get it wrong the first several times, you should look at yourself in the mirror and admit "You know, I'm really not the marrying kind."

Rumor has it that Sonny will blame Karpov for the shooting, but instead, it will be Anthony Zacharra's doing - in spite of his very touching "from one father to another" speech. His aim supposedly is to get Jason and Sonny at each others' throats and to have Sonny side with Anthony in the big mob showdown. After this shooting, Sonny will not be content to sit on the sidelines and will want to take over the reigns from Jason, but Jason will gracefully decline. Okay, maybe not gracefully, but I am not sure if "broodingly" is really a word.

Of course Sonny won't recognize that Jason is trying to protect him from acting in anger and revenge and getting them all killed, instead Sonny will view it as betrayal, and thus I predict a fight between the two will erupt. Is someone dead? I don't know, but I am willing to go out on a limb and guess that Kate's biggest problem is not longer whether or not family heirloom jewelry matches her designer gown.

You have to love soaps, though, don't ya? I looked around the wedding congregation to find ex-wives, arch enemies, rival mobsters, an estranged brother who chained his last wife to a wall once, and an escaped mental patient. These are the exact people I would NOT invite to my wedding. But hey, in the Soap Logic worldview it all makes perfect sense.

In Soap Logic it also makes perfect sense that a dress that was made for Maxie who is very tiny and petite would fit Olivia who looks to be a foot taller than Maxie; in the real world that dress would be up around Olivia's thighs. But I guess this is the equivalent of Sisterhood of the Traveling Bridesmaid Dress where the gown magically fits any girl who wears it. (btw, I love that movie)

Nadine was not at the wedding however, because she was a little tied up as Sasha and the Russian goons had her a little tied up. Thankfully our little bundle of energy had the forethought to dial Nikolas' number on the cell phone she smuggled and let him hear the whole sordid conversation. And thankfully our clever prince overheard a few lines of dialogue and knew exactly where to find Nadine.

And, I'm not a travel agent any longer, but I sure hope Jason bought travel insurance when he scooped up those tickets to Italy for him and Elizabeth, because once again, just as the two of them are about to embark on a romantic vacation together, the violence of his life rears its ugly head. Will they just postpone the trip, or are we back to square one? That's the problem with denial; reality keeps kicking you in the face. Jason and Liz love one another without question, but he's still a mobster and his lifestyle is going to continue to be fraught with gunfire, bloodshed and danger. Will Jason let Liz accept that? I think she wants to accept it now, I think she's willing. But I don't think Jason is willing to put her, Cam and Jake in the line of fire regardless of Liz's willingness to accept it.

Lulu wants people to accept that she loves Johnny and wants him in her life, but Lainey, Claudia, Lucky, Nikolas and a host of others have decided that Johnny is bad for her. Sure, it is indeed true that before Johnny came into her life she wasn't crazy and hadn't killed anyone, but how could that be Johnny's fault? My guess is that she would have had to kill Logan even if she had fallen for Spinelli instead of Johnny because Logan just wasn't a guy who could take no for an answer. He was most definitely stalker material.

Lulu got a sweet visit from Maxie, who in true form brought a dress for Lulu that was really in Maxie's size, but at least she let Lulu look at it. I like the two of them together, because I know firsthand that arch rivals can end up being best friends. My best friend Betsy that I met way back in the 80's and I started out hating one another because we were fighting over the same guy, but then we found out he was cheating on both of us with yet a third girl and teamed up to make his life miserable. And a beautiful friendship was born. So, Maxie and Lulu made me think of that this week. The best moment was when Lulu confessed to Maxie that she had been talking to her catatonic Mom and thought she was talking back, and Maxie gave her a hug and then apologized by saying "I have no idea why I just did that, sorry." Sweet and touching. They are trying to move from hating one another to seeing the best in one another and forming a real friendship. I love it.

Patrick has proposed a friendship to Matt, but Matt hasn't come around yet. Patrick I think is looking for another member of the "I hate Noah" club and Matt looks like the most logical choice, but right now Matt hates everybody so Patrick may have to wait awhile. Robin tried to help Patrick's case by telling Matt that he didn't miss out on much by not having Noah for a Dad because he was a drunk who bailed on Patrick, too, but Matt was basically uninterested in everyone's stories.

Carly and Jax move forward with their divorce proceedings and bickered about random hotel decisions. In an odd twist, Nikolas Cassadine suddenly has a Jones about buying the Metro Court. Jax said it wasn't for sale, but Nik persisted. Maybe after a few more fights with Carly over which towels they should hang in the bathrooms and whether or not they should bolt the hairdryers to the wall, Jax will see the light and share his half of the hotel to Nikolas. Carly is not Nik's favorite person ever since she helped Jax lie to him about Spencer's paternity. Speaking of which, has anyone seen that kid in months? I think Nanny McFreak must have kidnapped him again and Nikolas is too busy playing Scooby Doo with Nadine, Lucky and Sam with the Mystery of the Counterfeit Pills" to realize his kid is missing.

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What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Kate wish she would have worn Nonna's lucky necklace after all? Will Maxie go back to being a candy striper since she is so disillusioned that Kate isn't really a New England society girl? Will Mike be sorry he was a good dad for once and took his life into his hands by standing next to Sonny? Will Lulu think she hallucinated the shooting and retreat back to Shadybrook suddenly willing to go to group therapy? Will anyone ever bust Anthony while he is up walking around and take away his handicapped plates? Will Noah go to his AA meeting and confess that he wants to drink because he now has two sons that hate him? Will Olivia and Carly become BFF's?

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