It's so nice to be insane, no one asks you to explain

It's been so long since we had a truly demented psychotic killer on GH.

It's been so long since we had a truly demented psychotic killer on GH. We've had a few snarling villains, but nothing to match the intense brilliant madness of Anthony Zacharra. Bruce Weitz, where have you been all these years? You're the best Whack Job GH has seen in years. Every time I see his crazed face coming into some room to terrorize one of our beloved Port Charles citizens, I tense up, as if I am in the room with them. I know that probably means I have a Frail Grasp On The Big Picture (love that new Eagles CD) and need therapy, but even so, I'm enthralled with the chaos, I can't take my eyes off of it.

Emily is dead, but I have yet to determine who killed her. We are getting clues and innuendos from many directions, but I don't think it's any of the major suspects. I don't think Nikolas killed Emily. The writers wouldn't do that too us, we have loved this couple for too long. That dream he's having where he's sees Emily dancing with himself and yells at Emily to get away while he's tied to the chair? I think that as his brain fog and horse tranquilizer evaporate, he may see another face in that dream.

I don't think it was Crazy Tony either. The aforementioned Mad Anthony has Elizabeth and Jason standing on a parapet at Wyndemere while an entirely different set of hands put a cord around Carly's throat.

Who could it be? Coop? Johnny? Trevor? A random, nameless, goon? Someone we don't even know is in town, like Helena or one of the Ruiz brothers? Guesses are flying but we won't know until the tragic night of the Black and White ball finally ends. Logan's theory about how Johnny got cuts on the palms of his hands sounded logical to me, however. We have to get rid of Johnny anyway so Logan and Lulu can have their happy ending. At least for a day or two.

I'm sad that Emily is dead. Although we haven't seen the last of her, she is going to hang around in the afterlife like Ghost Alan. But Emily's ghost won't be able to marry Nikolas or settle the fights at the Quartermaine's, or help Liz fold laundry. Emily was one of the more reasonably people in Port Charles, and that town really needs every voice of reason it can get. Natalia has a very angelic look, so I am she will be heavenly in her afterlife role, but it's still a sad and pointless ending to the romance of Nikolas and Emily.

Jason is taking his little sister's death hard, and although he hasn't killed anyone on her behalf yet, he's itching to do just that. Trouble is, he doesn't know who killed her and is trying to decipher clues from Nikolas's horse pill induced ramblings. His suspicion toward Nikolas is growing as Nikolas begins to chant "It's all my fault" and I think the only reason Jason hasn't put a slug in his head is because Emily loved Nikolas, and Liz is watching. The intensity of Jason's face right now is mesmerizing. The pain that seeps through his eyes, the thinly veiled rage simmering under his skin, clearly, he is about to explode. Steve Burton has a great capacity to show the inner chaos subtly without overacting, which is rare on soaps. I know some of you call Jason "Borg" and think he is emotionless, but I wholeheartedly disagree, you just aren't watching closely enough.

Liz is grieving more openly. When Liz was laying on Emily's chest weeping, I wept with her. I'm crying now as I write about it. Why? I can imagine the heartbreak Liz is experiencing. I have a best friend, too - I couldn't imagine a world without her in it. Liz and Emily have been friends for years, and Liz just lost her one safe place on Earth. The world has shifted and become darker without Emily's light. She sobs on Emily's lifeless body unashamedly, and her tears are justified. Real connections are so rare in this cold world, that their loss is always tragic.

But Nikolas' grief tinged with confusion and madness moved me, too. He didn't recognize that Emily was actually dead. He convinced himself she'd be waking up at any moment. His mind couldn't accept her being gone, so he created an alternate reality is his mixed up head where she was just taking a nap. Nikolas' refusal to let go of her body to the point they had to shoot him up with horse tranquilizers was heart wrenching to watch. When he finally woke up and the realization creeps over him that she is dead - his reactions were acutely painful to watch. His trembling lips mumbling that saddest words-"We were supposed to spend the rest of our lives together, but this is the end of that, there is no rest of her life. And it's my fault. I did this to her." He spat the words out of his mouth with such torture, I could taste it. His reaction quickly turned into a suicidal impulse, the outcome of which we have to wait and see on Monday.

Monday can't come soon enough for me, in fact, as we are also waiting to check in on Luke after his second big heart attack of the week. He was trying to make light of it- when Tracy asked "How are you feeling?" He responded with a typical Luke quip "Like someone parked an RV on my chest.", and continued on with comical banter, until his banter was silenced with heart attack # 2. I got an email this week from a reader who told me it makes her mad to hear Luke and Tracy confess their love for one another, she just can't believe he could love anyone after Laura.

Well, the truth is, people move on after tragedy. Luke adored Laura, no doubt, but the woman has been in a vegetative state for years now (save a few weeks during sweeps last year to boost ratings.) Luke has the right to love again, to move on, and to be happy with someone else. In truth, Tracy probably is better suited to Luke than Laura, because Laura wanted to domesticate and change Luke, while Tracy accepts the fact that Luke up and vanishes on random adventures from time to time. She never tries to make him be anyone but himself. Confession, it's been hard for me to watch Luke having heart attacks. He's supposed to be invincible right? Superheroes don't have heart attacks, do they?

In other awkward relationships, this tragic night has caused Robin and Patrick to reexamine their relationship and come to that same sad conclusion; the painful admission that they love one another, but want very different things from life. She wants kids. He doesn't. Much better to decide that now than have kids and ignore them, right? Perhaps Robin will be nicer to Leyla after she threw herself in front of a bullet for Patrick, but I doubt it will last. I am a bit unnerved by the fact that Leyla looks JUST like Anthony Zacchara's dead wife - I wonder if she was adopted and is a Zacchara sibling?

Sonny took a bullet for Kate, too, but he doesn't have two doctors tending to him like Leyla, plus he had that blod transfusion that they did with... what? Some duct tape and Starbucks straws linked together? That transfusion was SO MacGyver (who by the way used to be Liz's Dad.) and the fact that Ric and Sonny are both still alive after that Milton Bradley Operation Game transfusion is miraculous.

Kate blames herself for Sonny's unhealthy state, as she is the one who convinced him to save Ric's life. His life back to her was great - he said, "You appealed to my better side. A lot of people don't see that in me, and I intend to live up to it." When we find someone who sees the absolute best in us, we want them to be right about us, don't we? Being loved in that way, where someone sees our best qualities and magnifies them makes up want to grow into their image of us.

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Anthony and Trevor are having a battle of their own over who's running the show. "When did you start giving orders?" Anthony screams at Trevor when he hears him telling Anthony's men to kill Sonny and make it look like Anthony did it. Could this be the first time Anthony has been coherent enough to realize Trevor's been the Great and Powerful Oz all these years, running his organization behind the thinly veiled curtain of Anthony's madness? Saved by the bell, Spinelli and crew pretend they are cops to clear out the thugs, Trevor gets away, while Anthony makes a beeline to torture Liz and Jason with his "Somebody's gonna fly tonight..." pronouncement.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Jason and Liz actually sprout wings and fly off together like Greased Lightning does with John Travolta and Olivia Newton John? Will Spinelli ever notice that poor sweet Georgie is Hopelessly Devoted to him? Will Jerry be Stranded in the Driveway and branded a fool after being konked by Zacchara? Will Carly be just another strangled Nursing School Dropout? Will Nikolas be longing for those Summer Nights with Emily when he shakes off the meds? Will Zacharra think There Are Worse Things He Could Do than to Kill a Girl or 2? Will Robin and Patrick realize that They Go Together like rama lamma lamma ka dinga da dinga dong?

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