Arrest Them All! Anna and the Amateur Hour Act: General Hospital Two Scoops for the week of February 10, 2025

Poor Anna Devane is going insane and who can blame her? Sure, she might be a police commissioner who bends the rules here and there when she needs to, but right now, she is trying to catch a serial killer who uses God as his reason for murder. Unfortunately for Anna, she now has a long list of people who are making her job very hard indeed.

Pesky civilians ruin everything — and so do some cops

Anna thought the only problem she would have to deal with when trying to figure out who killed Sam and Dex was Josslyn Jacks, but now she's learned Josslyn is the least of her problems...maybe.

Sure, Josslyn is an entitled college student who keeps changing majors and told the main suspect that he was indeed the main suspect before breaking into his apartment and leaving evidence while she was there, but at least she's not a 15-year-old son of a hitman whose mother was just murdered. (May we add that Anna made out with that hitman in Africa last summer while a hypochondriac well-versed in tick bites kept them in a cage?)

It's bad enough that Anna has to contend with Gen Z in her own home, but now she has to make sure two members of America's young adult generation aren't threatening former drug lords turned biblical busboys. But wait! There's more.

So, the hitman, aka Jason Morgan, threatened to kill the suspect with a bar full of people watching, and his former mother-in-law wants her face to be the last one Cyrus sees. Sigh. But wait again! There's still more.

Anna's two top detectives are also about to bungle the investigation. Part of Anna's problem is that half the town lives in the Quartermaine mansion, including the ex-husband, the fiance, and the son of one of the victims. So, she had to force Dante to take medical leave, but he lives in the same house as her lead detective on the case, Chase. OF COURSE, CHASE WOULD TELL DANTE THAT CYRUS WAS A SUSPECT!!! Seriously, how did Anna not think that would happen???

And OF COURSE one of the teenage boys residing in Monica's house would tell the other teenage boy. If Alan hadn't given Monica such a big house, maybe Anna's investigation wouldn't be heading nowhere fast. Anna doesn't even know that Lucky, Elizabeth, and Lucas have been on the case for weeks. Perhaps Anna might want to take off for Germany and find Valentin because his life on the run has to be more peaceful than the one she's living in Port Charles.

Sasha's no-good, terrible, bad week

Let's be frank — is there ever a good week for Sasha Gilmore Corbin (Scorpio)? GH's weird obsession with torturing Sasha was over the top for a few years, but the constant distress has died down a bit. Sasha even has a blessing on the way after tragically losing her son at just a few days old two years ago. But that doesn't mean things don't keep happening to her.

This week, she was just about to accept Cody's apology for spreading rumors that Jason was her baby daddy until Cody went right back to spreading rumors that Jason was her baby daddy. He ended up with a drink in his face for that one. Sadly, the end of the week went worse than the beginning of the week.

After Sasha let Mavis the Dog off her leash so she could run into oncoming traffic, we were sure that Sasha was going to have to form a support group with Alexis regarding killer cars. Remember how Alexis ran down Kristina's abusive boyfriend, Kiefer? Remember a few years later when Drunk Alexis ran down her own ex-husband Julian? Remember when a drugged-out Sasha mowed down Willow's other mother, Harmony? Thankfully, Mavis and her owner, Elaine, survived a crash, so Sasha is off the hook.

Rinse, repeat for Jason

Perhaps Sasha could go to Alexis for advice on Jason pretending to be one's baby daddy since Jason did that for Alexis' late daughter Sam. In fact, that was how they fell in love. Now Jason is doing it again for Sasha, and she couldn't be more grateful. However, her choice of fake baby daddy makes little sense. Her main reason for wanting to raise her baby on her own was because Michael was a Quartermaine with Corinthos family mob ties. Well, um, Sasha, we have news for you, girl. SO IS JASON!!!

We have to hand it to Jason for insisting that Danny be the only one to know the truth. That was the right thing to do...and maybe the wrong thing. Again, Danny is 15. He lives in the house with another 15-year-old who is the town crier. We all know the last person who can keep a secret is Rocco. And oh yeah, Gio. He also can't keep a secret. And he lives in the same house. (And he's Rocco's brother, but nobody knows that yet.) How long until everyone in Monica's boarding house knows that Jason is not the father of Sasha's baby? How long until Tracy figures out who is? (C'mon, we all know it's going to be Tracy.)

We don't need another hero

Welp, Felicia told Cody to go be a hero for someone else because Sasha is his cousin, so he's picked Molly, and we're not sure how we feel about that. It was obvious they were being chem tested a few weeks ago, but everything about them seems a bit forced.

Even Molly has no idea why Cody refuses to leave her alone. He chased her through the hospital halls and then chased her to the hospital roof just so he could apologize for being a jerk, which is basically his default setting. As everyone expected, they even got locked on the roof in the freezing cold. That means they are now our new couple to watch. Molly, you in danger, girl.

Weeping Willow: Why does nobody like me? Waaaa!

Willow is confused. Or at least more confused than usual. She can't seem to figure out why people don't like her anymore and are yelling at her everywhere she goes.

It certainly can't be because she had tawdry sex with her husband's uncle on the playroom floor the night his daughter's mother died. And we know it's not because she used Michael's near-fatal burns as leverage to get custody of her kids. Surely, it's not because she snuck said uncle into the bed she shared with her husband for even more sex while he's in a German burn clinic. Well, if it's not that, then what could it be?

Willow has no idea, but at least she has a real mom now to tell her what a perfect specimen she is. However, even Nina seems to wonder if Little Miss Priss is playing with a full deck.

Give peace a chance

Hear us now: Let this be THE VERY LAST TIME Sonny and Ava EVER fight for custody of Avery. As Sonny said, he and Ava have been fighting over this child since she was in the womb. At some point, something had to give. Sonny and Ava are back to their last custody arrangement in which they share their child 50/50. The only one who has a problem with this is Kristina.

Sometimes, Kristina seems perfectly rational, normal, and sane. Then, she sits Lulu down in a bar and tells her all about the great love that her sister shared with Lulu's ex-husband because only completely delusional, self-absorbed bartenders with narcissistic tendencies would do that.

At least it wasn't as crazy as when she declared to Elizabeth that if she can't have her daughter, then Ava can't have hers. Rebecca Herbst gives the best side eye, and this moment was no exception.

Who else can see Kristina attempting to kill Ava while her mother and sister try to catch the man who killed her other sister? Give Alexis a break, Kristina.

Odds and ends

Hey, did you know that Gio and Dante have the same eyelashes? Emma does. And now we do, too. Cause Gio is Dante's son, in case you need that fact banged over your head again before either of them learns the truth.

We are still trying to figure out why Kai stood up to Cyrus just because Trina told him that hostage story. It was a very strange move and not the flex GH thought it was. Were we supposed to see Kai as intimidating as he told Cyrus to leave Charlie's while wearing a shoulder sling?

In case you didn't remember, Sidwell is a hypochondriac. Not to be confused with that other international jewel thief, Cassandra Pierce, who was also a hypochondriac who held Anna hostage. Sidwell's tic bite reminded us about his weakness. Then he reminded us that he knew Natalia. He was even married to her. Who didn't see that one coming a mile away?

At least GH remembered a bit of obscure history when Lucas informed Sidwell that he had lived at Wyndemere as a kid when Bobbie was married to Stefan Cassasdine. Kudos for that one.

However, here is some history GH forgot. Lulu lamented that she'd always wanted to work at Bobbie's/Kelly's. Well, um, she did. As a teenager. And very prominently so. On the next episode, Nina implied that Ric wasn't very good in bed, except she wouldn't actually know that. They never slept together when they were married because he was too busy sleeping with her mother. So, no, Nina did not sleep with the same man her mother slept with, unlike her wayward daughter... Until next week, GH fans. Perhaps Anna will even make a killer arrest.

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