“Some of the tapes had things I would have never expected” — Kim Porter’s purported memoir compiles Diddy’s alleged involvement with “young boys”

Kim Porter with three of her children she shares with Diddy (Image via X/@combstwins)
Kim Porter with three of her children she shares with Diddy (Image via X/@combstwins)

The ongoing allegations against music titan Sean "Diddy" Combs have taken another turn with the emergence of a new book comprising diary entries by Kim Porter.

According to the Daily Mail, in Kim's Lost Words: A Journey for Justice, from the Other Side..., she accuses the mogul of recording himself while engaging in intimacy with a famous male teenage pop star. She also details her rocky relationship with the father of her three kids.

"Some of the tapes had things I would have never expected, the gay parties are one thing, but the young boys, like [two hip hop stars formerly managed by Diddy] and [the then-18-year-old popstar]?! I would have never known."

The book, which spans 60 pages, was allegedly leaked by her friend, and it delves into the late Kim Porter's life. It touches on Comb's philandering during their marriage, from the '90s till her death in 2018.

Allegedly, the rapper would engage with members of both sexes alike and would host parties at his home, and Porter reportedly joined them.


Chris Todd published Kim Porter's tell-all memoir on Diddy

The memoir was published on September 6, the Daily Mail reported, just days before Diddy was arrested by Homeland Security. Chris Todd, a Los Angeles producer, ghost-wrote the book, and published it under the pseudonym Jamal T. Millwood.

He told the outlet that he found her diary entries on a pen drive, which was given to him by Porter's celebrity friend.

“I was lucky enough to meet someone that purported to have Kim Porter’s flash drive. I know the celebrity source pretty well. I know how close they were to Kim and Diddy, and all the people in the hip-hop community. This was supposedly for Kim Porter from the grave, to come forward and tell her story.”

He disclosed that he published the book under a pseudonym due to security reasons. On the book, he is listed as co-author, alongside Porter, and it is currently on sale on Amazon.

"This is a dangerous situation, and I didn’t want to claim ownership of Kim’s words. But now I’m willing to come forward because of the recent arrest of Sean Combs. Now (that) the federal government has finally acted, I feel safer to come forward."

What does the book contain?

The book reportedly touches on well-known scandals from Diddy’s past, such as the shooting in 1999. He, J.Lo, and fellow rapper Shyne were at a nightclub when gunfire broke out. Allegedly, he made Shyne take the fall for him, and Shyne served a stint in prison.

The book also discusses the couple’s extravagant adult parties, which allegedly hosted many A-listers. According to the book, Kim said,

"I got to do things with Sean I would never have been able to do with a straight man.”

She also noted that everyone "wanted in" on these parties. As per the book, Porter and Diddy shared an "open relationship." She also claimed to have engaged in intimacy with the late Tupac Shakur.

Furthermore, the book outlines incidents of Combs getting physical with her when she refused to comply with his colorful requests.

She dubbed him a "terrifying monster" during their 13-year-long relationship. She recanted the first time he struck her, stating,

“Then Sean hit me. This was the first time, but he slapped me hard. Before I could form words, he began to beg, 'I’m . . . I’m sorry.' Holding my cheek where he hit me, I turned and ran off. That should have been it. But I guess I am a glutton for punishment."

She recalled another incident where he insinuated he would fatally harm her.

"He fiercely slammed me to the ground. Then he pulled out a .22 [handgun] and sat it on the end table. He knelt on one knee, and got right in my face to say, 'You're mine. You don't have a choice in that now. I can't live without you.' He's a terrifying monster."

Allegedly, Porter came across some of Diddy's private collection of tapes. She duplicated all of them to use as protection, but when she watched some of them, she was appalled. She didn't expect to see him engaging with young boys.

Chris Todd revealed to the Daily Mail that the very friends who gave Porter's diary entries to him also had a copy of the alleged tapes. He told the outlet,

"I was given the memoir, 60 pages. I was also given a photo, and told if I wanted access to the Diddy sex tapes, I could have that also. I know for a fact the [sex tape of Diddy with the teenage pop star] has been shopped to Hollywood studios by other parties."

Kim Porter shared three children with Diddy, son Christian and twin daughters, Jessie and D’Lila. She also shared an elder son, from another marriage with him, Quincy. She died in 2018 due to pneumonia.

Since 2023, Sean Combs has faced 11 civil complaints. In September, he was arrested by Homeland Security, and his homes were raided. He was charged with s*x trafficking, and racketeering conspiracy, among others. He pleaded not guilty to all charges. He is currently detained at the Metropolitan Detention Centre in New York City, where he will stay until his case goes to trial.

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Edited by Sezal Srivastava