Our House and all the additions

Do you feel bad for Alex? Is Fiona a good or bad person? And should we see more Jada? Let's discuss all the folks living in our house this week in Two Scoops.

After somehow being lucky for over four years, COVID finally managed to catch me and my family. So, this column is coming to you from a NyQuil-in-the-daytime writer. Forgive any ramblings and more-than-average nonsense. Still, in a way, it was nice to have some sick days where I could find comfort food TV. DAYS; Murder, She Wrote; Below Deck; and Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles got me through the better part of this last week. So, let's dive in.

I actually do feel a little bad for Alex when it comes to Theresa. The last thing we'd ever accuse Alex of is being monogamous, and he legit wanted to marry that girl. He did dodge a bullet in the long run. But objectively, she disrupted multiple corners of his life in a short amount of time.

Still, like almost all other DAYS fans, I have a harder time feeling bad for him losing the "heir" status. He's massively wealthy instead of obscenely wealthy now. His apartment transition is basically just a suitcase of clothes. He gets to hang out with Steph again -- and darn it if there isn't some nice chemistry there. Oh, and he has to go through life looking like Rob Scott Wilson. No need to cue the violins for this guy.

Speaking of dudes I'm having a little trouble whipping up sympathy for, Brady said he's swearing off women. Right. Even dumb old Alex thought that was nonsense and promptly pointed out that Kristen will come for him, guns-a-blazing. Brady went right back to Fiona and picked up where they left off. Brady's gonna Brady.

As for Fiona, she is a truly fascinating character. One one hand, she's a complete garbage person. Her making fun of A.A. or encouraging Brady to keep drinking feels like the absolute wrong side of karma to be on. But then, on the other hand, she gave Xander good advice about joining the company. And her (seeming) reverence for Maggie and Sarah is so wonderful. In fact, the tiny instant family of Xander, Maggie, Sarah, and Fiona is simply charming.

The only issue I have with this whole Xander retcon is how we saw Victor behave toward Xander. Xander was "low born" compared to Victor's other kids, and Victor treated Xander as such. Xander sat a little bit with this, but it didn't feel like it did the story justice. Though, without Bo or Philip around, I don't know if they can play this beat out. Perhaps someone can get Philip in for a visit soon.

Next, in the category of long-awaited returns, we finally got to hear Video Mystery Woman talk. First up, I feel so bad for AnnaLynne McCord's family. Her first airdate was June 19. I'm just picturing my own family calling up everyone and saying, "Hey! Watch her on DAYS now!" And then...wait seven weeks for her to utter a single word or show the front of her head! The dodging and uncomfortable comments my mom would have had to deal with if that happened!? Oh, lord. Lots of snarky town gossip, for sure!

But at long last, the character who may or may not be Abigail is here. Clyde orchestrated it so this woman experienced an accident requiring massive plastic surgery and a bout of amnesia. It's the perfect soap start. Jack and Chad told/asked this woman to come one state over with them, because apparently, they don't have DNA tests in Missouri. I mean, Jack is right there. Test him against this woman to see if they share any DNA. But if we did that, we wouldn't get a chance to see Billy Flynn's baby blues working overtime. Chad didn't get a lot of words, but the way he seemed to look through this mystery woman with such fear, longing, and reluctant hope spoke volumes.

Speaking of fear, I could have sworn it was just last week when Stefan made a promise to never talk out loud about his night with Ava. Now it seems like the game is actually "How Many Places Can Stefan Confess?" He will say it at the table. He will say it at the desk. He will say it anywhere he's able, this fella is a mess.

I very much enjoyed Kristen's role-playing where she rebuffed any excuse Stefan had. Kristen is right on this point -- there's no way Stefan can say this and have Gabi not get angry. It's not that Stefan shouldn't come clean. He absolutely should. It's that he better know that the best-case scenario is him sitting in the doghouse for a long, long time. And that's if he can get to Gabi before she believes Connie's news. Yup, once again, for no good reason, Connie got to be part of a major storyline reveal.

So, let's talk about Connie, shall we?

My biggest problem with Connie is that, take away all the homicidal stuff (which, yes, is an absurd thing to say, but go with me here), and she's a socially exhausting person to be around. She's loud, can't read social cues, inserts herself into conversations, and expects others to cater to her energy level. Dare I say it, she shares more than a few commonalities with early-stage/sometimes-still-stage Leo.

However, I'll tell you when I do enjoy Connie. It's when she's alone or when she's with ghost Li. Oh, my lord, how much do I love Remington Hoffman playing this snarky ghost? Seeing him giggle and clap at the idea of Gabi suffering? Brilliant. And I howled when he turned into a cardboard cutout. That move looped this scene around from berserk into hilarious. I wish they had limited Connie's scenes to those with ghost Li and ceded a little bit of her other airtime to some other storylines.

And that storyline should be all sorts of Stephanie and Jada, with sides of Paulina and Steve.

Jada is going through it multiple ways right now, and Eli Cantu is killing it. Sorry, bad choice of words. Elia Cantu is stealing the show. First, Jada is waiting for Rafe to wake up, which is tying her into knots. Add onto that, Jada thinks that she had a part in the stabbing if Bobby did it to get Rafe out of the way. Furthermore, she thinks she pushed Bobby too hard to confess, and then he committed suicide. Further-furthermore, she can't shake the feeling that the suicide note wasn't legit! See? So many more storyline beats for Jada to play.

She had those remarkable scenes with Paulina. Rarely is Auntie P the supporting character, but she's lovely here. Paulina relating to Jada about being in unhealthy relationships was a nice nod to Paulina's history. Stephanie being Jada's go-to confidante for this is a refreshing change rather than making these former romantic rivals carry that bitterness forward. Now that Steve's back and John's okay, Steve can dive head-first into solving this mystery with his real and honorary daughters. I want to see more and more of all of them!

Loose Ends

To wrap up the Theresa arc, she's been sentenced to six months in jail. This seems about right for a staged kidnapping. Plus, technically, she didn't forge any legal documents. Victor's will remained unchanged. Theresa just changed the signature on the letter. So, I get it. A little slammer time for Jeanie T seems appropriate, too. At least Tate and Andrew got to say goodbye to her before she left.

I've got to hand it to our big man Tate, too. Just as I was about to admonish Tate for "hiding out" by walking through Horton Town Square, he smacked right into his dad and launched into the news about coming home to see Theresa before she went to jail. I have to say, that was very slick. The best lies are ones that have an element of truth to them, and I believe Tate is legitimately concerned about Theresa's future. But I didn't think Tate had it in him to think up something this good to force Brady to...stop me if you've heard this before...make a truly bad decision and unload a lot of personal problems onto his 17-year-old child. Yikes, Bradster. The family member you're looking for is Marlena, not Tate, for that convo!

I mentioned it before, but Alex and Stephanie are enjoyable right now. He's self-aware enough to realize he was being a complete arse for complaining about money when Stephanie lost someone she loved. And he was spot-on when he pointed out to Steph that someone else's mental illness is not her fault. Finally, I don't know, the plate-breaking looked downright fun. They need to take it very, very slowly with these two. Stephanie's almost-fianc died in her arms mere hours ago. But these two are both sadder and wiser now for the better. They could work if written correctly.

Snarky Sophia still entertains me, even though she's dipping her toe into mean girl status. But, hey, so did Philly K when he was in high school, and he turned out okay! I wish they'd bring Aaron back, get Tate and Holly out of the woods, and get all four of these kids a fun storyline.

I know a lot of folks are eye-rolling Body & Soul. But considering the Connie invasion on other parts, I find this storyline silly fun. I'll take all the James Reynolds and Lauren Koslow that I can get. I love that Johnny has an actual job in his field. And placing Leo on the writing staff feels, well, kind of okay. We've made larger jumps for characters in other professions. Belle owned a nightclub at one point. Plus, seeing Deidre Hall get to play Hattie is a fun treat.

HOT:

Xander and Sarah finally did it! They tied the knot in an extremely low-key ceremony. But that's kind of what this couple is. They shouldn't work on paper. Yet, their strongest connection with any other character (save for the lovely Maggie, on both counts) is with each other. So, I like how this wedding honored that special dynamic. And as I said, this little Xander, Sarah, Maggie, and Fiona combo is one of my current favorite families in Salem.

NOT:

It's NOT pronounced "Missour-uh." Just like Roman and Marlena's daughter's name isn't pronounced "Sam-uh."

LINE OF THE WEEK:

Xander (about Sarah): "She's the one who keeps me grounded and sane. It's in everyone's best interest that I marry her as soon as possible."

Aw! And also, yup. Right on, Xan-man.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

My family always had pickled herring at Christmas. That line made me smile.

"Pretty lady from Our House with the Quaker Oats guy." That was Deidre Hall.

Can we please work "all the days of our lives" back into wedding vows?

Seeing Andrew and Paul walk out of the hotel to see Tate made me realize two things. 1. Tate really lucked out in the uncle department. He gets both Paul and Andrew! 2. Brady and Theresa really messed up in not calling one of their brothers for a quick download on the latest teen technology. Andrew is an ISA agent. Paul is a computer hacker. Literally, a 20-minute chat with either one would clue them in on how to check cell tower records.

I loved John referencing Brady and Paul as "the boys."

Tony and I were talking, and we're pretty sure the only way Alex had crackers and cheese in his apartment was if it came in a gift basket or something a Titan client sent over. Otherwise, that fella is all protein shakes and chicken breasts.

Truly, only Sweetness herself could get away with pointing out that the bright side of Everett's death is that Stephanie isn't in limbo over her relationship with him anymore. I shake my head and bow down to this queen.

Ha! Try lying to Mags again, Holly. She learned her lesson with Konnie. She's suffering exactly zero fools right now.

I love the longer stay from Paul and Andrew! Could we make a deal with DAYS? Either Paul/Andrew or Lani/Eli need to be visiting at all times. They can alternate, of course, because of scheduling. But I need these couples around more!

That's it for this week! Tony will be back next week to see if anyone can guess the letters D-N-A and apply them to Video Mystery Woman and Jack. Hope you all check Xander and Sarah's registry for the appropriate Scottish gifts.

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