A recipe for disaster

Come on-a my house, my house a-come on! You're cordially invited for dinner, well, dinners, drinks, cheers, and jeers. Though, be prepared to laugh at jokes, please! And bring pie and wine. Lots of wine! So, let's be gracious hosts and mangia, mangia in this week's DAYS Two Scoops!

Welcome, friends and fellow fans, and I hope you're hungry! Grab a plate, and let's sit around the Two Scoops table. Don't be shy. Mangia, mangia. Shall we pour some red? Some white? Both!? Okay. Now we're cooking, unlike a certain Salem dinner party that didn't make it past the crudits and cheese, but more on that in a sec. For now, let's start with a celebration...

Spearheaded by Paulina with Abe at her side, Salem honored MLK Day this year! I loved the recognition of this National Day of Service (and the man himself, of course). It was special to see our fair Salemites stepping out to volunteer as well as share stories that lent insight to their personal experiences.

Often, large storylines overshadow these "slice of life" moments. To witness them made me feel closer to several characters. There were many "I didn't know that about you!" instances. It felt genuine to reflect on most of those stories, given the day. We got to know each other a little better, and that's never a bad thing. There is something special to be said about shared and sharing experiences.

While I could go on about Salem's MLK Day festivities, we should speak about Eric and Sloan's dinner party that was like The Little Engine That Couldn't. I know I couldn't. The entire night was crispy and cringy. It also left a bad taste in my mouth, and we never got past wine and sparkling water.

I begin with a disclaimer. I'm in no way, shape, or form suggesting that Sloan is anything but an unsavory disaster. There's a table for two reserved in Soap Hell for her and Melinda. Leo will be their waiter, and may they eternally "Karen" him. There's no doubt they've all sealed some hot seats in Hades. That said...

To John and Marlena, Sloan is Eric's wife. They love Eric. It's fine they don't love or even like her, but they were being uncharacteristically cold. I mean, there was A LOT of shade being thrown. While Marlena can come across a bit "button-upped" at times, in general, I've never seen John not try. He's the king of "kiddos" and "pull up a chair!" The last time I witnessed him this aloof was with Vivian last year. It was just strange, but that was sort of the theme of the night.

But let's ask the big, strange question of questions. The one we're all dying to know the answer to. That is, was Sloan supposed to nap, like, ten feet from the dinner table while they carried on with their meal!? Or even closer on the couch? Eric kept suggesting she lay down, but it didn't get any less awkward or weird.

Sloan's not a parakeet. They can't just toss a blanket over her and tell her "Night, night." That entire vibe was whack. I mean, she was an annoying mess, no doubt, but I'm not going to enjoy my hummus with a leggy, shifty lawyer feet away muttering "Sorry" in her sleep. Waiter. Bring me the check. I'll pick up some Buddy's Burger Barn on the way home.

While Eric and Sloan's setup had a "college kids throwing a dinner party in their dorm room" vibe, I thought it was refreshing for a soap. They didn't grow a dining room or anything extra like that. He's unemployed. She's struggling with school debt (and blackmail). They're new parents. They're working within their means. I respect that. One can make any event special with a little TLC and creativity!

Or special in the case of that dinner disaster. I suspect we're to believe that Sloan is unraveling lately. While there is truth to that; her character's development doesn't match with the silver-tongued, shrewd, and sophisticated lawyer we once knew. Early Sloan could toss back a cocktail and then get a client out of jail. This version can't handle some red wine and a soul-crushing secret. Secrets. Plural. Wait! She doesn't have a soul. Never mind.

Yet all this might be irrelevant! Sloan's sauced shambles were a way to get "Jarlena" to spend time with Jude. Doc was quick to point out that he has Eric's smile. Put that in your back pocket, Mar Mar, but don't lose it. That info may come in handy someday soon. Very soon, Soap Gods willing.

Let's move to a better dinner party with better guests. Sorry, "Jarlena," but Wendy and Everett put you to shame by showing up with host gifts. Wine and pie and flowers? Yes, please. And while the Johnsons had their share of awkwardness (Hi, Steve!), there was love there and one felt welcomed (mostly. Again, Hi, Steve!).

Right. Let's address the one-eyed elephant in the room. Oh, Steve. Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve -- Steve. My good old friend, you need a timeout. I am sure being away from Stephanie most of her life because he was a little dead-not-dead has the Patch Man wanting to make up for lost time, but the overprotective papa shtick needs to be toned down. Like a lot.

I'm also sure it doesn't help that Steve's job is literally seeing the worst of humanity. He's always getting some awful intel about someone. He knows what monsters people can be (and he was a not-so-nice guy once upon a pawn, err, time). That probably doesn't help his headspace concerning the protection of his loved ones. Still...

While Steve's heart is totally in the right place, his delivery comes across too outdated and disrespectfully rude to all parties involved. He needs to have another one of his talks with Tripp. His son once got him to see that his '80s era supercouple lovin' style wasn't always so super. Maybe Tripp can help him realize you can be protective without being barbaric or antagonistic. I'm fine with Steve saving that extra energy for Konstantin, though.

With that, this Everett storyline needs to pick a lane, specifically his relationship with Stephanie. They were so close that he planned to propose. Yet Stephanie never told her parents about him. Still, Tripp and Joey knew him, and Sweetness Junior knows him down to his favorite drinks and snacks. That takes time. So, basically, they were seriously nonserious, but serious-ish. His "ghosting" left her with serious issues that partially let to the end of her relationship with Chad, and he was serious enough about her to spring from his coma and set up in Salem. Yep. It's seriously confusing.

Though I think my previous diagnosis of Stephanie might be true. If PR is her profession, mixed signals and attention are her hobbies. Tripp even provided evidence just as Jada did a few weeks ago when she confused which ex Steph kissed at midnight on New Year's Eve. The Tripster was a bit surprised that Stephanie was "flying solo" to dinner.

Methinks the lady loves attention more than one individual at this point. End of day, though, she's single and free to mingle. She just might want to take an Eat, Pray, Love journey and get to know what she wants out of life before she drags others into it. Confusing others, especially those with possible mental issues, is a recipe for disaster.

On the topic of all the above -- dinner, possible mental illness, disaster, and being dragged into things -- I'm going to go ahead and cancel my dinner reservations at the Bistro. That place is a hotbed for bad things and bonkerness.

The latest is that we have an informer -- "I lick the boom-boom down." Sorry. Can't mention that word without that happening. If you know, you know. Anyway...

I think Ho-hum Harris is the mole. The rat. The not-so-great copper givin' away the 4-1-1. Let's be real. He's been brainwashed several times. Someone must have his "sleeper agent" activation code. I'm guessing it's "Boar Ring Dew Duh," or something like that. I can't believe with all the work Dr. Rolf did to him, he can't be reactivated.

And it's rather brilliant! Who better to betray the brass than a brainwashed version of yourself? I mean, if he's activated, he won't be looking for himself. Unless a deactivated Ho-Hum starts to notice missing time, most won't be the wiser. Others won't, either. We've seen him brainwashed and un-brainwashed. The difference is not that noticeable. He's pretty, uh, stoic either way. Yes. That's it. Stoic.

Another option? I'm also considering Everett to be the mole. The rat. The informer! He likes to be around well-informed ladies (and mysteriously disappear from their lives). His job is to investigate information. He's not afraid to use a little or a lot of petty cash to obtain knowledge. Could he be using his network to help Clyde so that he could pay off his medical bills?

Of course, Everett's mini meltdown in the park made most of us wonder if he's going to follow in his journalist role model Abigail's shoes and have DID. That would explain "Everett" and "Bobby." Though I'm not giving up that they're twins. He also mentioned insomnia. Maybe he's like one of those sleepwalker criminals. And yet I have another theory...

Could Pa Weston be his/their father? I know Everett's a "Lynch," but E.J. was a "Wells." Xander is a "Cook." So many characters don't use their family names.

More so, I seem to remember that Mama Weston was pregnant when she died in that cryptic car accident with Jordan. This is the DAYSverse. Death means little. Did she give birth before she died? If so, is that child or children Everett (and maybe Bobby)!? Clyde's son willingly or unwillingly (as I could see him blackmailing his child) helping would explain some things.

One thing that is clear, we can all agree that Wendy's words, "Don't worry about me," means we should absolutely worry about her. I highly suspect she'll be caught in the crossfire of Ava's storyline. Like, actual crossfire during a shootout. Nobody's safe around Ava and Stefan. Nobody. Not Wendy. Not wigs.

LOOSE ENDS:

It was hard to see Lucas beat up so brutally. It was just as painful to watch Kate's concern for him grow. I wanted to give her a hug. Okay. It's Kate. She would have appreciated a martini more, but that's not the point. Despite the pain, I loved the reminder of how special their bond is. "Witty, charming, and easy on the eyes," indeed, Ms. Roberts!

I call foul on "nothing happening to Lucas in the infirmary." Um. There are needles, blades, and drugs in that confined space. There's already someone on Clyde's payroll, lurking to let Lucas have it. I feel that he's just an informant in a barrel at this point. Maybe Kate could have Roman call bro-in-law Shane, perhaps!? Or call the Chlomeister. She's not afraid to shank a son of bitch for a good cause.

Chloe's absence is really being felt now. Nicole needs her bestie. Holly needs her auntie. Nicole's resorted to chit-chatting with Sloan in the square and gossiping about Marlena's affair. I also think Chloe would catch onto the shadiness with clearer eyes.

Holly's off to the Ospedale Miracoloso! The same place that treated Eej after he was found in the warehouse, I believe. Though wasn't Dr. Rolf, like, almost entirely the reason E.J. even survived. If the madman has mastered *whispers* "Resurrection" by Wilhelm and "Essenza di Stefano," why did they not seek him out instead of shipping her off? Just wondering.

Conversely, aren't Sami and Syd in Italy!? I feel like this could be a bonding moment for Scami Gene and Nicole as mothers. I'm sure they'll act maturely and -- I'm kidding. They'll fight over a comatose Holly and blame each other. Some things will never change.

I loved Eric and Maggie's scene! It was a lovely moment of reflection and forgiveness. The layers to it all were performed masterfully by Greg Vaughan and Suzanne Rogers.

This is a slow burn storyline, but I'm eager to learn more about Mr. Patch's connection to Konstantin. I think Maggie will want to learn more about it, too, as she walked up to Steve and that shady scoundrel. Shady may match shady in this case, as Steve seems to be covering up something, well, shady from his unsavory days. As long as this doesn't affect Black Patch day drinking, all can be forgiven in time. I hope!

Oh, I'm going to be dining near Sloan and Miranda in Soap Hell for stating the following, but I wasn't feeling anything about Theresa's relapse. Okay. I felt bad for her and her loved ones. There's that, but the stakes felt low -- and made even lower when it was used as a potentially powerful plot point to give her kissy face time with Brady so Alex could walk in on them. "A couple I hardly care about are in jeopardy. Oh, no!" exclaimed nobody.

To be fair, Emily O'Brien always brings it. She's top-tier talent, and I have the utmost respect for her. Still, "Gwenresa" and her involvement with exasperating Alex has been a hard pill to swallow, as it were.

Also, to be fair, Alex wasn't as exasperating as normal last week. I mean, showing up with doughnuts and coffee always helps. Plus, he apologized to Justin and made Maggie proud. Dude Bro's walking in the tiniest of baby steps, but progress is progress. Though he Paula Abduls a lot. That is, "Two steps forward, two steps back."

Tate got a raw deal. I know juvey rehab is better than big boy jail, but it's still sucky for our little Spudward. I fear he's going to come out of this facility "edgy" or "rebellious." My hope is that he realizes how many people need help and decides to follow in Grammy Mar's footsteps and become a therapist someday. A youngster with a career goal isn't such a bad thing, amIright, Johnny?

Speaking of Jo-Ro, he mentioned contemplating a new career path. I'd hate for him to give up on his dream, but working would certainly prove that he's serious about taking care of his new bride-to-be again and, more so, just making himself feel fulfilled. Maybe he should investigate jobs with the FBI or ISA.

I mean this respectively, but Eric "opening a photography shop" sort of smells like Johnny "being a filmmaker." It's beautiful to dream and have hobbies, but as Strangers with Candy's Geoffrey Jellineck once said, "If wishes and buts were clusters of nuts, we'd all have a bowl of granola." My dudes, let's turn these wishes into work, okay?

I love that the Price family is a fierce matriarchy led by "Big Mama" Olivia, who marched with MLK Jr., but I am curious about Chanel's father. Little has been said about him other than that he's dead. Do we need to know more about Mr. Dupree, or is his fate enough to go on?

On the flip, I do want to learn more about Jada's family after last week's revelations. Her mother sounds like an interesting woman. I'd also love more on Mama Hunter's take on "Bobby!"

Wishing for "a big, fat wedding" was a sweet sentiment, but love left Johnny with a case of the crazy talks. I know he's been to a Salem shindig. Even a "big fat small wedding" is tempting fate. Do a quick and quiet courthouse elopement and then have a big party once the deal is officially sealed. And you're welcome, Jo-Ro.

Leo's article sounds like something Will would have written. That Will should have written. I know we're supposed to think Leo's layered, but when the blackmailer who knows a woman's child isn't dead does something virtuous, it's hard to present him with a shiny gold star sticker on the "good side" of his scorecard. Theresa's not the only one to have a "failure to change." He needs to be his change for more than a hot second to earn my time to care.

Xander and Sarah's relationship is weird. I feel like they don't know some pretty basic things about one another. For example, the dude was going to wear a kilt to their wedding. Is it THAT shocking he has a trunk to store them in? He does move around a lot, after all. I feel like these two could take a page out of Johnny and Chanel's reconciliation playbook. They had a whirlwind courtship, and still, I feel they know each other deeply. Xander and Sarah had a lengthy relationship and seem like strangers. Yep. It's weird.

A Valentine's Day scavenger hunt, huh!? On one hand, this sounds exciting and has potential. On the other hand, Stephanie, Tripp, and Wendy are spearheading things. The party bus they are not. I'm suggesting we packs some snacks and a roadie before going on this adventure.

HOT I'd gush that I couldn't love Johnny's proposal more unless it came with ice cream, but it did! There was a hot fudge sundae to top off one of the cutest couple moments in recent memory. From Johnny's formal attire to his heartfelt words of how Chanel means the world to him, I adored every moment.

I also adored how much they adore each other. Carson Boatman and Raven Bowens have this magical ability to instill a sense of wonderment into their characters. Johnny and Chanel light up each time they see one another, and each time seems like the first time they're in the presence of something fantastic. And they are!

Declarations of love like that can often come off overcooked, but Carson Boatman and Raven Bowens understood the assignment and created an enchanting moment for viewers. We all believe in love and second chances just a wee bit more now. And just in time for Valentine's Day!

NOT Oof. Ava's by far one of the most fascinating characters in DAYS history, but I can't invest in her feelings for Harris. Even Rafe seemed thoroughly uninterested when Ho-Hum was confessing his in the interrogation room. They're just not a compelling couple. We've seen Ava in similar storylines in more dynamic pairings. Ava and Harris' star-crossed relationship is supposed to be an integral part of a huge, encompassing plot. It's not. It's the weakest link.

LINE(S) OF THE WEEK "Where's the cape?" Everett to Leo

"I help people celebrate life." Chanel owning her baker status

"Oh yeah. They said a lot." Lucas to Kate and Harris*

*Bryan Dattilo's superb snarktatsic delivery never misses a beat, no matter how far Lucas has been beaten down.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Wait! John said he hasn't been drinking lately? Is this true!? The last time I remember was Christmas with the supercouples, but I could have sworn he and Steve day drank a few weeks ago.

Did Xander's apartment change its layout? I could have sworn the door Sarah went into was the hallway to both bedrooms.

I loved the laugh that Jada got when she learned Rafe was still writing checks. These two are cute together. I like that the writers lean into their senses of humor.

I guess Everett knows all things sports-ball as well as I do.

Marlena's son D.J. has been brought up a lot lately. This has me wondering. Character's names are seldom floated around without an agenda. Hmm...

I love it when DAYS brings up Johnny's bond with Rafe! He did idolize him as a kid. I remember that little FBI jacket. It was too cute.

Also, it was cute to see Johnny in a Brady Pub apron. The show embracing the "Roman" part of his name is a beat well played. Though he was just "helping out." He doesn't work there. Maybe he should!

Between being Dr. Dude's daughter and Maggie's granddaughter, it re-dawned on me that Holly's known Victor as her grandfather her entire life. I'm sad we never saw this pair see screen time. And even sadder we didn't get Holly at the funeral.

Did anyone else wonder why Brady had Jada's number?

Stefan and I don't agree on much. By "much," I mean "hardly anything," yet I still had to chuckle when he called Ho-Hum "the creature that wouldn't die." I so get that, Stef.

We can all agree that E.J. probably wears his top hat while giving himself his morning pump-up affirmations in the mirror, right?

PARTING THOUGHTS

So, friends and fellow fans, that's it for January 22. Were you inspired to keep helping others? Were you touched by the stories shared? And who do you think Salem's shady informer is!? While you contemplate those queries and more, Laurisa will be back next week with another generous helping of Two Scoops! As always, thank you for reading, and "That's a fact." Tony

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