Body and soul

Will anybody find Abe? Or will he have to save himself? And will he return to a Salem where Kristen has a new purpose? Let's discuss it all in this week's Two Scoops.

We kicked off the week with a replay of Nicole's speech to E.J. and Eric. I'm glad. This was so good, it was worth seeing twice. These fellas needed to check their own egos and realize that this baby's very existence is both life-changing and life-threatening to Nicole. She needs to be supported here. However, I couldn't help but notice that she didn't actually get an answer to her question. Both of these dolts went silent when she chastised them, rather than promising to behave like grown men. Hmmm...

One thing we know for sure -- Sloan is not the baby's father. Whew! Glad that's off the list. Yup, Sloan swabbed her own cheek and gave that DNA sample to Nicole because Sloan didn't want to risk losing Eric to Nicole. Tell me, Sloan, how do you hang pictures in a glass house? Suction cups? Do Command Strips work in there?

Speaking of the Bad Bedfords and their quest for justice, Talia made bail -- thanks to Belle -- and agreed to testify against Colin. The hunt for Colin was somewhat short-lived because the police had no inclination to check the apartment he knew Talia would return to upon making said bail and, instead, sent Talia back to that home without checking it first. That was a head-slap moment, even for the Salem PD.

Luckily, Chanel and Johnny did a better job than Salem's best. Chanel was smart enough to put her anger aside and look at the badge Talia gave her. I can't have been the only one relieved when Colin finally got caught.

The sibling scenes that followed were interesting. No doubt that Sloan loves her brother, but she offers no indication that she sees that her male relative is somewhat mentally disturbed and doing bad things. Now, where has she made that mistake before?

Over at Jada's apartment, Elia Cantu continued her "Everything I Do is Awesome" tour. Jada pleaded with Talia to get therapy. Jada's line of work means she's seen this type of emotional and physical abuse before. This was the perfect blend of personal pain and professional insight. How well Talia takes Jada's advice to heart will determine if Talia's character can be redeemed.

Finally, Paulina literally worried herself sick over Abe's kidnapping. She ended up in the hospital and had a beautiful scene with Julie. I loved every minute of Julie this week! She comforted Paulina, and she was lovely and complimentary toward Chanel. Julie even tried to take some of the blame for Abe's attack. It's easy for soaps to pit women against each other, and I loved how DAYS has made Julie and Kate both kind and supportive toward Paulina. Yes, ladies!

Oh, and let's find more ladies to love, shall we? I love Megan DiMera. She's my favorite DiMera since Anna. She's classy, focused, and very calculated. She also beamed with pride when she saw Dimitri, the way only a mommy dearest would. She's happy to marry off her first (only?) born, even if it's to his aunt. This was all very Game of Thrones, and I was here for it. Besides, what's a little semi-incest if there's a Von Leuschner fortune at stake? Either way, Kristen and Dimitri both said no, so that left Megan to turn her attention to the next single female with a pulse in sight. Welcome to the scheme, Gwen.

I'm cautiously looking forward to this storyline. There's a lot to love. I can't say enough good things about Peter Porte. He plays Dimitri disarmingly well -- with the charm, wit, and danger all in the right places. I love Dimitri and Megan's relationship, which is why I'm keeping an eye on a turn I'm scared to even speak into the universe.

But here goes.

It was hard not to notice that the scenes of Leo complaining about never having a love life were spliced right in between the scenes of Dimitri and Megan talking about the rules of his marriage/inheritance contract. Technically, the contract didn't say Dimitri had to marry a woman. But I'm guessing any family with rules about people being married by a certain age probably have other restrictive thoughts on love matches. That makes me worried we're headed for a storyline where Gwen is Dimitri's beard, while Dimitri has a relationship with Leo.

The main thing I don't like about this hint of direction is that it hinges on Megan truly not knowing or not accepting Dimitri. I just don't buy either. They were close enough for Dimitri to include her in his immunity terms regarding international crimes. Megan believes you should love who you love so much that she brought her own lover back from the dead.

I am excited about the flash courtship storyline. I'll even love the soapy plot that it's all to inherit a family fortune. I just want it to be true to the characters we've seen on-screen.

Shawn flew home from Greece, and Belle asked him why he was having a drink. I get that they're doing a guilt thing with Shawn here, but goodness. He just got done traveling internationally with nothing more than a carry-on. He probably wanted a beer!

I had to laugh at Gwen trying to assign Leo the Dimitri article. That is an actual story, not a gossip search. If she's willing to let Leo be a journalist, there's no reason she can't make a former magazine exec in charge of newspaper ad sales.

Did Chloe and Xander get together out of the blue? Yes. But are they entertaining if not downright charming to watch together? Also yes! Chloe is a less spazz version of Sarah, and that dynamic is right with Xander. It helps that they've written Chloe to have a brain and self-awareness for a while now, too. Then, the feedback feels earned when she calls him out on his Scottish shenanigans.

The Wendy, Tripp, Johnny saga is so circular that it's now making me really disappointed with Wendy. She just isn't this fickle. If she wanted two fellas vying over her, she would have strung Tripp and Joey along when we first met her. And Johnny needs to realize that he's not truly into her, either. It's not that Johnny did anything intentionally wrong by helping Chanel, but it's indicative that Wendy is not as important to him as Chanel. If Johnny had anything resembling a friend, they would need to tell Johnny that. (Seriously, can we get Johnny a friend?)

HOT The whole Nurse Whitley is a Crazy Cat Lady who watches old soaps and holds men hostage hoping for reward money is bananas. But darn it if I didn't keep watching these scenes for the pure spectacle of them.

Remember how for The Muppet Christmas Carol, Michael Cane was famous for saying he wasn't going to act like he was in a Muppet movie. He's going to play it like he's performing the play on Broadway. James Reynolds seems to be taking that approach to this whole storyline, too. And. I. Love. It.

Sure, it's nuts that Abe hasn't realized that he hasn't been given any of his "own" clothes at his "own" house and is instead staying in his complete hospital wardrobe -- including hospital bracelet. But James Reynolds is so committed to Abe's memory loss that I'm not blaming Abe for this oversight. And when Abe saw his 2008 self on TV accepting the mayor position, I felt joy for him! Let's go, Superman! We're rooting for you!

Also, come on. Those cheesy soap scenes Judi Evans and Deidre Hall got to play? Give me all the sequins and big hair camp for this scene! Charlemagne de LaCroix?!?!? LOL!!!

NOT Kristen's becoming the "guy who slept on the couch" when it comes to Megan's schemes. Kristen got out of jail by tagging onto Megan and Dimitri's bribe. Now she wants to know what is going to happen with Dimitri's inheritance money. I never thought I'd say this, but Kristen needs to figure out a way to be proactive, or at least make herself useful. While Megan clearly is the miles-ahead leader for filling the Stefano role, the Andre role is still wide open. This Kristen makes an excellent option.

LINE OF THE WEEK Jada: "Which direction did he go?" Leo: "West, no east...up?...left??? I'm directionally challenged."

I see you and feel you, Leo.

Line of the weak Sloan: "Colin's not a monster!"

Oh, honey. See, the problem is we know Sloan is smart and literally makes her living dealing with criminals. So, why is she so dumb?

RANDOM THOUGHTS

You kind of need to be good in the kitchen if your last name is "Cook."

Soap characters are always looking pristine -- get out of bed with perfectly photo-ready makeup and hair. I wonder if the makeup team gets genuinely excited to do "just fell off a building" makeup with cuts and bruises. Talia's face looked terrible, and I mean that as a compliment of the highest order.

We all love Abe, but this week showed how much people truly do love him. When given the results of the paternity test, Nicole stopped to open it when she heard Kayla say Abe was missing and asked about him. Likewise, Chanel thought she owed it to her stepfather to try to see if Talia knew anything about Abe's whereabouts, despite the danger it put Chanel in.

I'm obsessed with Jada's high-waist pants trend. I love this and want to do this in my own life. I'll look just like her! Yup, all it will take to look as lovely as Elia Cantu is the right cut of pants.

I'm with Abe. Breakfast sausage is not for me, either!

I loved Sloan's leopard print dress.

Leo told Gwen he saw Colin in the wild and thus was a marked man. Someone pass me a blanket in hell, because I agreed with Leo. He had reason to be worried!

Bope update: They're settled into the care facility now.

Paulina may have a small point. Their relationship has not been great for Abe's skull. Shoot.

Major points to Chloe for listing off all the Kiriakis men she's been with and casting appropriate side eye her own way.

Additional points to Xander for asserting that he's the best of them all! Ha!

Finally, a very happy birthday to the lovely Bill Hayes, who celebrated his 98th birthday. Best wishes for many more, good sir!

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