Send my love to your new lover

Is Chanel better without Allie? Would Wendy be better with Tripp? And, if so, would Johnny be better alone, or can someone actually be good for this bad boy. Let's review the current roster of partners in the edition of Two Scoops.

Let's start with a truly fond farewell, a raise of the glass and a toast to Wilson deciding to leave Same together. So few characters get happy exits. I hope these two -- a historically important supercouple -- get just that. Also, Will's fabulous new hair deserves it!

I'm sad to see Will and Sonny go but truly bummed for Chandler Massey and Zach Tinker to leave. Chandler's accolades have all been well earned, and he's become somewhat of an elder statesman in Salem. Zach Tinker came in as a recast and owned the show. He's a miraculous talent, and I can't wait to see him again.

As for Wilson, they should leave together. It wouldn't make sense for them to be apart again. Taking Ari with them is a clean way to free up Gabi for other shenanigans. Leaving Alex as CEO of Titan feels like the Kiriakis-y thing to happen, too. It was all a nice bow on top of a present.

And then someone tugged that bow and added an Allie.

Look, I'll gladly hold the door open for Allie as she leaves Salem. But I feel bad for Wilson. It seems like she's trying to freeload off her brother -- both financially and spiritually. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Chanel and Allie made up for all of about five seconds before Allie got backed into a corner and had to fess up about sleeping with Alex. Chanel immediately dumped Allie on the spot, which was the right thing to do. Allie's been unfair to Chanel for a while now, and I can't say that Chanel had to be feeling great about their relationship. So, that leaves Allie with no job, a son to support, and no idea what to do with her life next.

Chanel, on the other hand, still has a successful business, an apartment (who gets Eric's old abode now?), and perhaps a chance to explore things with Johnny.

Would that leave my beloved Wendy out in the cold? Well, possibly. But I'm not so sure that's a bad thing, either. I know the show is trying to position Wendy as being torn between Tripp and Johnny, but objectively, there is no comparison. Tripp is a successful doctor who has his own place, comes from a respectable family on one side, and is the heir to a mob fortune on the other side, should he want things to get spicy. Oh, and he's proven that he'll literally sacrifice his soul for a woman he loves.

On the other side, Johnny has a job that is TBD, lives with his dad, has two shady parents, and may be heir to a mob fortune, if he can dodge the other 75 relatives gunning for it. He's interested in two gals at the same time. And he uses the word "servants"! Gah!

I think Wendy can do better than Johnny. I think Chanel can make Johnny better. And we're all onto good things here.

Speaking of maybe good things, Stefan was all ready to have a happy Valentine's Day with Gabi...until he called her Chloe. Gabi stormed out, and I don't blame her.

I don't see why exactly she went to see Li, but I am tickled a bit that Li seems to have delighted in coming up with the perfect plan to win Gabi back. This plan is telling her the truth and treating her well. What a concept!

Brady couldn't reach Chloe but learned from Nicole she's safe and just taking some time for herself. Brady then telephoned Chloe -- yet again -- to tell Chloe he's giving her space. That's the equivalent of the email confirming you've unsubscribed from emails.

Xander, Gwen, and Leo -- Salem's version of The Misfits -- took on Jen, Jack, and the Holograms to blackmail control of The Spectator. I find this trio exhausting, mainly because I can't follow their motivation. Is it just irritation or something more? I second Jen's question to Gwen -- when will Gwen be satisfied? I didn't agree with her, but at least I understood her motivation early on in the show. Now, I don't know why she's doing this.

Also, Xander isn't academically wrong for pointing out that Jack has a decorated criminal history. However, the difference here is that Gwen actually did things to Jack and his family. Furthermore, Jack stuck up multiple times for Xander. So, yeah, when it comes to this battle, Jack does have the right to be furious with these two. Their "what-about-ing" is frustrating to watch.

I thoroughly enjoyed the dueling Valentine's Day dinners. No one does petty, passive-aggressive better than Arianne Zucker...well, except for Dan Feuerriegel. I loved watching Nicole snark at Sloan/Eric and E.J. call her on it each time.

At the immediate next table (See, Eric? This is why we make reservations ahead of time!), Eric fumbled to be focused. He didn't like the hand-holding and forgot his readers so that he couldn't take part in the dessert menu. However, the difference between these two couples is that E.J. actually seems to be under the impression that Nicole is emotionally available, whereas Sloan doesn't care either way if Eric is.

Steve sees Kayla's spirit and has a downright touching reunion on Valentine's Day. Roman hears Kate's voice because these two haven't earned the video and audio levels of Stayla yet. I have less of a problem with Kate talking to Roman from the great beyond than I do with Kate actually suggesting that someone not commit a crime of revenge. As soon as Roman heard that, he should have said, "Whoever this is, put the real Katie on the phone!"

HOT As sick as I am of the devil, Devil Doug will always make me smile. The joke about how Doug will probably live forever was heartwarming and funny, too. Go on, Bill Hayes.

NOT: So, we didn't get to see any of the funerals that involved everyone in Salem? Not even the visitation or luncheon after? I have so many questions. Did they have a triple funeral or were they back-to-back-to-back? Why did it take a month to get anything scheduled? Are we ever going to see Anna or Bonnie's eulogy? Who gave Kate's?

LINE OF THE WEEK:

Johnny: "Nothing happened between us! We stopped." Paulina: "I don't think that's quite the merit badge you think it is."

I want this quote put on a T-shirt, mug, business card, and temporary tattoo.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

"How about we go for a walk and talk about this?" -- Cut to Alex under the table and a clear shot of Chanel's high heels. There's no way Chanel is walking anywhere in those, except to her closet to change into sneakers.

Wendy's wardrobe makes me wonder if she's actually a Sesame Street character having an identity crisis.

Huh. Weird. Alex is usually so good at silencing phones.

I wonder when they're ever going to finish that dress at Basic Black.

It was so sweet that Steve was excited for Adrienne to be there for Kayla.

Hearing the term "circle back" takes me immediately back to work life. I'd like it if my soap never did that again!

Does Stefan just have a huge supply of poison? Do you buy those in twelve packs at the DiMera General Store?

Stefan's botched unbrainwashing should get some sort of amazing soap award. I can just hear me explaining this to someone who doesn't watch soaps. "So, you see, he was all hooked up to the mad scientist's machines and ready to be unbrainwashed. Then, the machines broke halfway through, so he's only half unbrainwashed."

Is it me, or since Steph moved in, do you also find that Steve and Kayla's apartment isn't quite so stylistically challenged? I'm giving her credit. Good work, Steph!

Since we have Anna, and she's the charming side of goofy, why do we even need Susan again?

Also, for real, is Susan really dead-dead?

Nicole's dress was fabulous. The fact that E.J. had a matching pink tie made my high- school-dance heart happy.

Do people actually ask restaurants for aspirin? Is that a thing?

I had to giggle when Kate's initial response to Marlena dooming herself to eternal damnation in exchange for Kate and Kayla to go to heaven was, "Oh, girl! That's super great of you. Thanks, lady!" Never change, Kate.

That's it for this week! Tony will be back next week to see who actually is behind the poison orchid chronicles and how Charlie's (Doug's?) angels will make it back to earth.

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