If your lips are moving, then you're lyin', lyin', lyin'

It may have been a short week in Salem, but it was big on lies! Everybody was lyin', lyin', lyin'. Some Salemites lied to themselves. Others lied to everyone. Some were white lies while others where big flippin' fibs. Let's get honest in this week's DAYS Two Scoops!

Let me be honest with you, friends and fellow DAYS fans. If I had to choose between watching one of my favorite shows for three extra days or tennis, well, there's no match. Au revoir, French Open. Like, too bad there isn't an entire network dedicated to sports. Oh, right. There is. Sadly, Salem life took the hit, but two days are better than none. There's that nugget.

Still, within this short Salem week, there were a lot of lies and gossip spreading about our scandalous little city. I just wanted to park it on a bench in Horton Town Square to watch all the awkward expressions, tea being spilled, and fibs being flung. Let's start with the artist formerly known as Father Eric...

Everyone was sharing stories of Eric's defrocking, and you bet Rafe and Nicole heard all about it. Remember that awkward thingy I just mentioned? THAT!

Now, raise your hand if you believe Eric's over Nicole romantically. No. No. Put them up there. Don't be shy. You're in a safe zone. Anyone? Anyone? Nope. I didn't think so.

The good former father is only fibbing to himself. You can tell by the dreamy way he still looks at Nicole that he's eager to strap on some Rollerblades, grab Holly, and take the two out for a fun family adventure. Go with the feeling flow, Eric.

I respect that Eric's trying to be respectful, but he should have a candid convo with his mother about the outcome of trying to shove those pesky passionate feelings into a pink elephant and pretending it's not in the room. Oh, hi, Belle! Didn't see you there. So, anyway, Mar, how did that work out for you when you tried to avoid feelings and move on, well, backward to a former flame out of obligation? Share with Eric. He needs to be honest with himself at the very least, and then with Nicole.

But don't worry about Nicole and Rafe! They're fine. Fine! Fine, I tell ya. She even said so. She told Eej that she'd have accepted Rafe's proposal even if she had known Eric was defrocked. All together now, "SURE, Nicole." Sure.

I do believe Nicole loves Rafe. Their long friendship is certified fresh on the Salem scale. No revisionist history there. Still, is she in love with him? Hmm. That's the question. I believe she wants to believe she is. Maybe she is to a point, but all starry-eyed signs point to her still carrying a flame for Eric, too, that's burning a smidge brighter than what I think her commitment to Rafe can handle in the long run.

Just ask Brady. He knows what's what. Eric and Nicole were in his presence for less than a second before he spotted the flames still intense between the two. The honest look on his face spoke volumes and pretty much said, "You two are only fooling yourselves." Mr. Black, you're right, good sir.

Brady also has a unique perspective to the juggernaut that is "Ericole." He was steamrolled by it. True, he was a bit of a hot mess at the time, but the truth about coming between a supercouple remains the same -- don't. Even if they say they're through, they're not.

"Jarlena" is a rare exception to someone successfully coming between a supercouple only to form another supercouple. O.G. Roman and Doc seemed unstoppable until John and his conference room table proved too tempting for Mar Mar. The rest is (Sami Brady) history. Perhaps Brady should seek out old pal Rafe-A-Roni and invite him for a "congratulatory" intervention drink.

Like Eric and Nicole, Rafe seems to be lying to himself, too. He's suggesting that he and Nicole are "strong and happy" as a couple. In a Pre-Eric-Unfrocked world, they were stable and happy, I suspect. In the Post-Excommunicated world? Well, I'd say they're edgy and pretending to be happier than they are with that big old, defrocked pink elephant in the room.

If Brady doesn't ask Rafe for a chat, Rafe should ask Brady how that worked out for him before moving too far forward. Rafe is usually a good guy, but could he resist snapping if crushed by the "Ericole" party bus? Should a snap happen, at least he has Gabi for support...and revenge coaching.

Speaking of delusions of happiness, hello, Ms. Spears. It takes a real kook to shake a reformed serial killer, but Ben surely seemed a bit creeped out by her, well, kookiness. I admit, Jan's storylines can be redundant. At the end of the day, she'll always be cuckoo for Shawn-D's cocoa puffs. Still, I am always captivated by Heather Lindell. She plays the perfect psycho and often cracks me up, but I digress...

Jan wants a lot these days. The list includes Shawn, babysitting Baby Bo, asking Ben to put in a good word with Marlena, and wanting Marlena to be her shrink. Though she kind of tipped her crazy hand when she stated her true intentions to Ben. His comeback of "your happy scenario is not real" was the total truth bomb that anyone would be awakened by. Unfortunately, Janet Spears isn't anyone. She still believes she has a shot at happily ever after with Shawn and their baby. Yep. She's lying to herself.

Doc was white-lyin' it up when she danced around Jan's request to be her shrink. Mar should have given her a straight-up, Ciara-like "nopety-nope" response. Sure, Salem is swirling with somewhat suspicious close connections, but even Jan might understand that Marlena would not want to help the woman who's tortured her family for years. Then again, Doc did treat the man who murdered her "My Dear Boy," so maybe Jan's request wasn't all that, uh, crazy.

Basically, Jan's still living in Jansville, but Shawn-D is lying to himself, too. If he thinks somehow life with Belle will return to normal-ish someday as they raise his kid conceived via rape with Jan, he will likely be disappointed. He might not be able to have Belle and his baby, but I feel bad that nobody seems to listen when he explicitly states he doesn't want Jan in the picture; he just can't erase her. I get his frustration.

Due to the baby, Shawn's also trying to remain the good guy that he is toward Jan when he really would like her to disappear. He wants the baby. Not her. But he also realizes a healthy mother equals a healthy child. Because of that, he just keeps coming out looking foolish and frustrating himself, his wife, and, well, pretty much everyone in the process. I would not want to be him right now. It's a no win.

Though, like I mentioned in a past column, Jan could have stayed with Roman, but I'll digress again from that spiel.

"Shelle's" hardships aren't all on him, though. 'Tink has tuned out a bit. She even served him with legal separation papers. Divorce lite? A couple can pause to ponder their future without divorcing. We know Shawn wants to reconcile. Belle said she's not ready to give up on her marriage, though does she really mean that, you know, given the papers?

I feel like that's false hope with a splash of denial and blame-shifting. Belle doesn't want to be the bad guy who files for divorce, yet if they're legally separated, there's still hope, and she won't be a cheater-cheater if Elvis enters the building. She can use the "we were on a break" Friends defense. We see you there, Belle, having your cake and wanting to eat it, too.

I give Belle credit for acknowledging her past as a cheater. I also give E.J. credit for claiming that "She's still my Samantha." Kind of sweet for "EJami" fans, but still a little sour, since he continued to court Belle. "Wine, dinner, and relaxing" seems fancy for "Netflix and chill." Belle basically said, "not tonight," not "no!" Maybe she's conflicted. Or maybe she's just waiting to see if someone spills the beans. It'll be easier to clean up a kiss than a full-blown affair. Several Salemites now know...

Chad spilled the "B.J." tea to Abigail, and it was rather amusing. Though it was touching that -- considering the bad blood and, well, lies left between the brothers -- he was worried about E.J. getting hurt. I think he meant that, too. Progress-ish! I did like his mature (and funny) take upon stumbling into the kiss. He recognized they're adults, encouraged Belle to fight for Shawn, and wished them the best.

Of course, Nicole supports E.J. pursuing Belle! That's a no-brainer. I think the only thought Nicole has in her mind now is, "Where is the best place to watch when Sami learns the truth!?" I'll get her a fiddle, as she'll certainly want to play while Rome, err, "EJami" burns this time.

And Shawn doesn't know-know that they kissed, but he's right in suspecting his spouse wants to smooch on her former brother-in-law. Belle needs to have a long chat with herself, that's for sure. And perhaps remember that Sami once sold her on the black market for existing. Revenge for kissing Eej might not be so gentle. Eek!

Sans some wonkiness we'll get to later, one of the only Salemites delivering truth bombs last week was Ciara. Listen to her, folks. Listen. To. Her. While still being compassionate toward Salemites with mental illnesses, she was straight-shooting about Jan being "crazy like a fox." She's so right. So. Right.

Ciara was also right to shut down Shawn and his nutso notion that Jan should test out motherhood by babysitting Baby Bo. Um. No, Shawn-D. Like Ciara said, borrow a birthing doll from a birthing class. Heck. Take an online birthing class. I know it didn't work out well in the end for Wendy, but if Ben can find a midwife in the wilderness around CIN's indestructible cabin, surely Jan can find someone to come over and teach her about babies and birthing and all that. There are resources other than Jan playing Mary Poppins to Baby Bo.

Shh! Move slowly and don't spook it. We're witnessing a very rare unicorn storyline. Two happily committed Salemites are purposely planning a pregnancy. This can only mean one thing -- disaster! Sorry, "Chabby." I'm rooting for you! I really am. You're adorable and fun. You deserve the win. However...

Leo and Gwen are preparing a revenge plan against Abigail. Well. Technically only Leo is at this point. Ms. Rizzy-Chick is undecided. I guess there's a few remorse molecules left rattling around in the black pit where her soul should be. I just kept thinking, "Jack is going to be so disappointed again-again." Be better, Gwen!

Nevertheless, Chabby's lunch last week was delightful! While danger looms large for them, it was nice to see a simple time, too. Chad and Abigail gossiped and gabbed and decided to try for another kiddo. Sometimes simple times are the best. Billy Flynn and Marci Miller have such a fun, playful chemistry, and their talents create such a great dynamic for the characters.

Will's home! And he's being a bit insensitive, but he apologized, so there's that. I love that "Wilson" are on-screen, but I feel like this is storyline-lite, considering last time, there was video evidence. Leo doing the drug-abduct-illicit photo trifecta is horrible and bad and terrible and all, but I kind of feel like the video thingy was worse. Still, poor Sonny.

Also, I back what Laurisa stated in her Two Scoops last week. That is, Sonny can't out-scheme Leo and should sic Uncle Vic on him. That's really his only legit battle plan. Otherwise, he and Will might end up with another Leo burrito scenario.

Xander apologized for his lies. Again. The scenes were beautifully acted by Paul Telfer and Linsey Godfrey. In the end, Sarah had a breakthrough, and they reconciled. It was a happy ending! For now. Unfortunately, happiness for these two has a short shelf life. Still, let's celebrate while we can!

For all his faults, Xander is a swoon-worthy guy. He not only takes care of Alice's garden, but he brings roses to Mickey's gravesite each day. I bet he also has a piece of Sarah's proposal cake in the freezer, ready to eat on their anniversary. Again, all together now: "Aw!"

Conversely, I really want to see a one-off webisode on Peacock following a day in the life of Xander. With all the high drama in his life, the dude seems to still have time for several daily routines. It's impressive.

Then again, I guess Xander's unemployed and has free time. When she's out of jail, he should speak to Paulina about a job in real estate. I think that would jive. He's charismatic and could sell or rent the heck out of places. And should Paulina decide to take on Titan and DiMera Enterprises like I mentioned a few weeks ago, she'd have an inside edge.

HOT There is some beyond exiting Beyond Salem 2 casting news breaking! We're promised the return of some more familiar faces as well as some new faces for parts previously not cast (or not cast since child actors played them). A lot of the returns and castings are wish-list items I've hoped for in Two Scoops past. I only have one question left: Is it July yet!?

NOT While Shawn can make some suspect choices and even dim decisions, I hate that he's being made to be the "bad guy" here and labeled the guy who is a "train wreck." He's justified in being a train wreck at the moment. And, yes, Mar. He could benefit from therapy. He was raped. The dude was raped and wants to keep the child. Yep. He's horrible. Ugh.

Belle victim-blames a lot, but what about Abby? First, she's Shawn's cousin. Second, and most importantly, she's been a victim of sexual assault herself. So, what was with the shade she threw Shawn's way? Her entire "he's not only having a baby with another woman, but he's living with her, too" comment seemed flip. Maybe she doesn't know the entire Jan raped him side of things, but it seems hard to believe she doesn't.

Finally, "Shawn has his hands full" and "you have a lot on your plate right now" are awkward and downright wonky excuse for not selecting Shawn-D as the godfather. I'm sure he'd be happy with "Uncle Shawn." Being a sibling does not mean you must be a godparent. It just didn't even have to be brought up. Doing so seemed, well, awkward and downright wonky.

It also made Ciara seem unsympathetic to Shawn's plight. He's a generally solid guy going through a terrible time. He has years of having it together -- of not having his hands full or a lot on his plate. Why does a terrible time now negate that? She (and Ben) didn't have to choose him at all, but she also didn't have to say anything. Doing so just seemed a bit insensitive.

The writing for this storyline is overall so uneven, it perplexes and perturbs me.

LINE(S) OF THE WEEK

Jan (to Ben): "I'm Jan Spears, and I'd love to babysit your precious little angel."

Ciara (to Shawn regarding Jan babysitting Baby Bo): "Uh. No. No, no, no, Shawn, no. Solid no. Nope. Nope. Nopety-nope."

Ciara (to Ben): "We did not save our Baby Bo from the devil to hand him off to Jan Spears's diabolical grasp."

RANDOM THOUGHTS

If Rafe is the godfather, who will be the godmother!? I could see Ben asking Marlena, given their bond. Though I really wish Claire Bear were in town for the honor. Or twist! Maybe they'll ask Jake to be another godfather.

I absolutely love the look on John's face when he's around Jan. The pure disgust is hilarious.

Also hilarious was Jan's exasperation when John joined Marlena. I died at the delivery when she stated, "Oh, wow. It's a party."

NuSonny in a suit gives me the vibe that he's cosplaying Tony Stark.

Kayla and Will's hug was adorable.

Nicole's reaction to learning about E.J. and Belle was funny. The look on her face spoke volumes.

Leo cracked me up when he said, "Dish. Dish. Dish, my love." I do like the friendship between him and Gwen, yet I'm not sure another round of revenge will do any favors for the characters. Can't they find another pond to plot in?

There must be a bigger reason Jan wants to be around Baby Bo, right? It's too late for a baby swap, but something shady is up. Hmm!

I wonder if Gwen's met Auntie Viv in Statesville yet!?

PARTING THOUGHTS

So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's it for June 6. Who do you believe is the biggest fibber in Salem right now? I'm not lying when I state that Laurisa is back next week with a full week's worth of Two Scoops! As always, thank you for reading, and "That's a fact." Tony

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