There's a hole in the bottle leakin' all this wine

Take one down and pass it around, 56 bottles of wine in the cellar! Some storylines are a glass half full while others are certainly half empty. Whether it's a nice Merlot or you want to forgo the simple grape altogether and grab some Champagne, ouzo, or Scotch, it's time to celebrate (and commiserate) in this week's soused DAYS Two Scoops!

If we're looking at the glass half full, there are certainly worse places to be locked up than the DiMera wine cellar. Sure. You might be tied to a chair, but with some resourcefulness, a nice Riesling or ros might be in reach, and you may need more than a swig or two for those half-empty storylines. So, grab a glass, and let's break open a bottle to toast to the terrific and drown our sorrows due to the insufferable. I'll wait while you pour.

First up, cheers to Sami and Belle scenes! Alison Sweeney and Martha Madison are fantastic together. Their familiarity with one another means the performances are rich and can get big-time brutal. I cheered when Belle blasted Sami, yet I still love Sami for all her Sami-ness. Belle does, too, despite her utter exasperation with her big sis. Did any of us believe this would be her "absolute last chance"? No. No, we didn't, but that's a good thing, as it means more intense interactions.

Besides, I'm growing more and more convinced that Sami is covering for someone, and that someone is likely John. I'm probably wrong. Still, I suspect she could have found him gunning for Charlie and was nearby when the gun went off, hence the residue on her clothes. Sami gave the big family speech earlier, and Sami covering for John would certainly patch things up between her and Belle. Again, I'm probably wrong, as there is a city full of other suspects...

I have a new working theory that might not work out like the John one, but it's something to think about as we sip on something soaptatsic. Could Aunt Paulina Price be the culprit? Hmm!

We learned that Paulina has a daughter. Charlie was a predator in Clark Kent glasses. Was she a victim like Allie? If so, did Paulina find out and pull the trigger? The last time an auntie with a big personality plugged someone and stepped over their body was Vivian, and we've been in love since 1992.

While we're on the topic of Paulina Price, well, she's going to be a godmother. Just ask her. Oof. Those scenes turned awkward in the end, and, honestly, the beginning was beautiful!

The Champagne flowed as I enjoyed the light, festive vibe when the Carver-Grant-Williams-Price family came together to celebrate the christening updates. Theo's home, too! There was an overall hopefulness in seeing several loved ones in the same room. That was needed right now. Plus, the conversations were part enlightening and part pure fun. It was just a nice time had by all. Almost all. Well. Until the end when Paulina made herself a godmother before "Elani" could give out the final rose, umm, final baby rattle. Seriously. How Julie's head didn't explode as she screamed, "Mine! Mine! I'm the godmother!" was shocking. Take that as a lesson in impulse control, Special K.

Sidebar: With influences like Paulina and Julie in Jules's life, well, this young lady is either going to be the most powerful woman in Salem or a complete hellion in heels. Maybe both! Hopefully both.

Still, Lani and Eli need to tell her the truth. Paulina deserves that. Sure, she might be disappointed, but there's a pony and two silver spoons that tell me that Paulina has the heart to understand their decision.

As for decisions, Paulina is hoping to change the landlord of the former Gabi Chic storefront's mind so she can set up shop in Salem. That put her up against Kate. They sized each other up. This could be a fun rivalry to watch grow, given some meatier material down the road. Kate is fierce. Paulina is proving to be a powerhouse, too. This could get fun.

Another sidebar: Paulina's not wrong about the square being a little bit of a snooze fest these days. The Edge of the Square nightclub seems to have closed, and Jennifer's fall was pretty much the last crazy moment there. Otherwise, it's been smoothie spills and lite lunches and such. I sense Paulina could add some pizzazz and create some jobs for characters with time on their hands. Though she should also look at Salem Place storefronts and revitalize that! Please and thank you, Ms. Price.

It's also interesting timing that self-made mogul Paulina came to town when a few columns back I was hoping Kate would create her own start-up to compete with DiMera Enterprises and Titan. I still want that for Kate. Paulina, however, has seemingly done what Kate hasn't yet -- started her own empire. Sure, Kate's been at the top of them and stolen them and such, but she's never had her own. I bet there would be some respect and jealousy there on Kate's part. So, welcome, Paulina, are you ready to rumble with Salem's top tycoons!? I don't even think that needs to be asked, as she'll surely say, "Yes!" And I believe her.

In disappointing news, the alliance between Abigail and Gabi is already over. This saddens me, as their harshness with one another was hilarious. I thought it would last at least a little while longer. More so, Marci Miller and Camila Banus work magnificently together. Alas, every bottle has a bottom, so we'll have to crack open one more to find another delicious blend. Though, look no further than...

Xander and Jack! He hilariously asked Jack to be his best man, and the Xanimal went whirling around Salem like the happiest man on earth, with Jack in tow. Drinks for everyone, he declared! Sure, Xan. Send some this way. And, look, we all know what Xander has done -- he hysterically hashed that out with Jack, and Kristen did her own play-by-play with Sarah -- but darn it, if Paul Telfer wasn't the most charming man in the world during those scenes. Xander's exuberance to wed Sarah in a big fat Greek yet kilt-clad Scottish-influenced wedding was enchanting. More, please!

LOOSE ENDS: Ben finally found Ciara! Like, for reals found her. I'm celebrating with some sparkly that this is over, yet I'm overall disappointed. I love "CIN." They are a great couple, but the heavy-handedness was a bit much. Like, I'd rather see them be the greatest couple around than hear about how their greatness outshines any greatness that's come before them -- they'd tell you themselves but they're too busy psychically connecting. Excuse me. Shot time!

Okay. It just feels like now "CIN" is cubic zirconia, while before it was pure diamonds. There's still a sparkle, yet some authenticity is missing. Maybe I just need to see some Rob and Victoria magic again, where their characters aren't dreaming, fantasizing, or Psychic Friends Network-ing, and characters aren't doing so much heavy lifting to prop them. It's literally been since before their wedding they actually had a for-realsies scene together. Let's loop back in a few weeks and cross our fingers under further inspection that the shine of real diamonds returns to this delightful duo.

Conversely, I'll take all the Shawn-D time I can get! Claire was a trooper, too. And a Belle sighting!? Yes, please. Evil Evan was enjoyably unhinged, and it was mostly action-packed storytelling all the way to Ciara accidentally blowing herself up. Yep. That happened. And somehow, she ended up blasting herself under a bed. Really, though, I'm not sure how that worked, unless the bed blew straight up and back down onto her like some ACME anvil in a Looney Tunes cartoon. But I guess if time, death, and the growth process in Salem are wacky and unnatural, Brookville, USA, can have its quirks, too.

While methinks the laddie doth protest too much, as Jake still seems a smidge smitten with Yo Gabba Gabi, he did bring down the hammer to get his point across. He basically Gloria Gaynor-ed her. He told her to go on now, go, walk out that door. Just turn around now. 'Cause she's not welcome anymore. It broke Gabi. So, naturally, she aired her heartbreak to her bestie -- Roman.

Now, you might be asking, "Whud da hell!?" Sure. Roman comforting Gabs was rather random, but there was heart there, and, well, I enjoyed their chat. If anyone knows about losing "the love of your life" then having to see them all the time slurping down strawberries at the place you work with the love of their life, it's Ro-Ro. He's kind of the king of heartbreak.

Plus, Roman's also great-grandfather to Gabi's daughter, so they're family at the end of the day. His compassion was sweet, and he was just not allowing her to trash Kate or anyone else in the process. Back in the day, we had Tom and Alice. Now, we have Roman. I'm okay with that. He's at his best when dishing out caring advice with a side of snark and tough love.

In the end, that "Whud da hell!?" connection made me love DAYS more. It's those kinds of six degrees that keep the heart beating in Salem. Those, "Oh, right! They do know each other!" moments. And it was a clever use of connectivity during the pandemic when the show has to be extra careful and creative as to who works together. Sure, some connection should be forgotten, like Roman and Nicole or...

Sure, Bonnie. You can be the maid of honor, since you asked. I mean, it makes sense, since you're so close to Sarah, being the mother of the mother of her ex-husband's child conceived when he cheated. That, Bonnie. "Klassy" with a "K."

Really, though. While some creative and careful connections work, some don't. This one makes me want to fill up the glass one more time. It's not that Bonnie utterly annoys me, it's -- oh, no. It's that. That, and it just doesn't make sense. Sarah being Kayla's maid of honor barely made sense, so the Big Bon Bon strong-arming her way into the bridal party surely is senseless. I'm sure Doc Sarah likes and knows Joanna, "the kitchen servant," more than Bonnie. I do already! Did you see those cocktails she whipped up on a whim!? Heck. Just the ice in the glass has more purpose than Bonnie, but I digress...

I think Bonnie must be Adrienne. I've said it before, but it bears repeating. That is the only way I can really see Justin genuinely falling for her. He's either privy to the ruse or highly suspicious. Please. This has to be it. Otherwise, Justin and Bonnie being together all the time doesn't make sense. I get that he needs levity and joy right now. We all do, but trust me, Mr. Justin, you can get levity and joy from Brady Pub fries and Musical Mondays at Unicorn Highway. You don't need Bonnie Lockhart. Ever. Meet me at the square in 20 so I can help you download the Salem Singles app. Deal?

Maybe Lani and Sarah could help each other out like Strangers on a Train. If she can get a word in edgewise, Sarah can tell Paulina she's not the godmother. In turn, Lani can tell Bonnie she's not the maid of honor, and she forced Sarah into saying, "Um, I guess." I mean, if Lani can get a word in edgewise, either.

The more I see Brady and Chloe interact, the more one-sided I think this will turn out to be. Like, I actually, for the first time, almost believe that Brady only has eyes for Kristen. He seems oblivious to Chloe's growing feelings for him. If true, this is splendid. It will only crush Kristen more when he dumps her for what she's doing. And I'm not being cruel, as a crushed Kristen is a far more interesting one than watching her Santa Evita-like Rainbow Tour.

Oh, yeah. That "What she's doing," which includes impersonating Susan, escaping prison again, and such, now includes smacking Sarah with a bauble. Whoops! I doubt she'd dead or even "Salem dead," but that's gonna leave a mark. Sorry, Sarah. More so, I thought Linsey Godfrey and Stacy Haiduk made superb sparring partners. And since we've been chatting about connections, I'd almost forgotten how deep Sarah and Kristen's ran. Those were some great scenes all around.

Ava lamented she "didn't even try to understand him." "Him" being Charlie. From what we've seen, at least, she's not lying about this one. Still, I don't think she murdered her son. I think she might know more about this killing, though. And, like Sami, Ava also has a history with John. Could this be a chain of people covering up for one another or seeing something suspicious and assuming!? I repeat, "Hmm!"

I'm not going to lie. I loved every guilty pleasure moment of Abigail and Gabi teaming up. The saddest part is that it ended too quickly, as I mentioned earlier. We even got Anna involved, and that was glorious! She was hilarious and totally loyal to the cause. The only part that took me out of all the scenes was when Abigail said, "I know a lot of people on the police force. It'll be fine." I cringed a bit. That particular kind of statement is exactly why many get agitated with Abigail. She might want to turn down that entitlement just a smidge. Otherwise, carry on, Abs -- have fun treating Gwen like a revenge pincushion.

Hey! Rex is back. Or, as Brady said to Xander, "Oh, my God, that's -- I don't care."

HOT Bravo, bravo, Billy Flynn and Marci Miller! Chad and Abigail's scenes last Tuesday were haunting. The characters are at such a crossroads, and the heartbreak experienced by both makes me eager to see where they will land. Will Abigail break again? Has she already? Or is she unbroken and just very, very ready to exact revenge, despite the consequences!? Will any of those break Chad, too? Any which way it plays out, with Marci and Billy behind the wheel, this is going to be brilliant!

NOT How is everyone's forehead? Sorry. I'm just assuming we all did a facepalm after Ben knocked out Evan then tossed the gun in his direction. Oh, Ollie. I can't even pretend that wasn't stupid.

LINE OF THE WEEK Anna (to a tied-up Gwen): "Well, it looks like you got yourself into a little jam."

RANDOM THOUGHTS But for reals, Brady's line of, "Oh, my God, that's -- I don't care" was so spectacularly delivered by Eric Martsolf, I had to do the ten-second rewind like five times as I was laughing so hard. Sorry, not sorry, Xanimal. And well-well played, Mr. Martsolf.

Abe being salty with Kate caught me off guard at first. I do love his feisty side. I also like that he didn't hold back with Paulina. He was a gentleman, of course, but he wasn't going to be pushed around. Abe is the best!

Ha! Chad and Anna's scenes slayed me. You could tell Billy Flynn was trying not to crack up at some points.

Vanessa Williams and Lamon Archey have such a genuine mother and son chemistry. Every scene between them makes me believe it was Val and Eli versus the world for a long time, and they still hold onto that bond tightly as they carefully let others into their lives. It's a special thing when actors dive deep into their characters' pasts and connections. Major cyber hat tips to both amazing actors.

I didn't not laugh when Chad said to Abs, "And I can't believe you tortured someone in our basement!" I didn't not laugh a lot. Well. Maybe a lot.

Why doesn't anyone is Salem ever eat at the Sea Shore Restaurant?

Drats! I was looking forward to seeing Melissa, but she booked a gig. Another believable excuse would have been she went to support Maggie. Just saying.

I'm fairly certain "I'm Kate DiMera. Who the hell are you?" is on her business cards.

Powerhouse Paulina made a fortune in commercial real estate. I used to work in real estate in New York, and there is a broker there that I am sure is the inspiration for the character. She was fabulous, which gives me high hopes for Paulina.

Did we know Ben lived near the docks? All that I could think of is the Fancy Face and the pier. I miss those sets!

Speaking of the Fancy Face, how the heck are they going to write around Hope not being home for Ciara's homecoming storyline!? I don't know if there's enough reserve of "she's in the other room," "her flight got canceled," or "she ran to the mailbox down the street" for this to work out.

And another thing, did anyone else notice a big playing card behind Tripp on Monday's episode, or am I crazy?

I'm not saying CIN's psychic connection is the worst, but I am writing an apology note to the "Virtual Garden of Eden" storyline. If anyone wants to sign it, I'll be at Salem Place, waiting for the Java Caf to reopen, since Paulina said there was no commercial real estate left in Salem.

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's it for March 15. Be careful on the Ides of March so we can all responsibly celebrate Saint Patrick's Day at the Brady Pub! My better Two Scooping half, Laurisa, is already there, ensuring Mr. Roman readies the place with all the shamrock decorations one can shake a Blarney Stone at. Well. Decorating, and for the Pre-Paddy's Day whiskey and green beer sampling. With that, I'm off to catch up with Xander and Jack, as their bachelor party of two is sure to turn into a great time had by at least one of them. As always, thank you for reading, and "That's a fact."

What are your thoughts on ? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.