It's tragically delicious!

From heartbreakers to heartache to, well, more misery, things are certainly tragic in Salem right now, and it's spectacular! Yep, it's a good time to be a DAYS fan. So, let's dive into the despair and chaos in this week's random Two Scoops!

It's official. Laurisa is never leaving Salem in my hands for several weeks in a row again. I lost a few twins, may have broken "Chabby," definitely forgot to water the plants in the Two Scoops office, and kind of unknowingly held the door open for Charlie to escape because I was checking Jan Spears's Instagram. It's been slow lately, but I digress.

Still, I couldn't have been happier that DAYS was a tugboat full of tragedy last week, as it was amazing! From the action to the acting, there wasn't a minute I wasn't amused and amazed. And as the show was, well, a little all over the place, we'll proceed cautiously in a RANDOM THOUGHTS-like style..

"It's me, madam!" Such greater words were never spoken. Vivian is somewhere out there, and that "there" is soon to be on our screens. Yes, please.

But wait! Has Ivan always had the ability to be that menacing? I knew Ivan G'Vera is a great actor and is hilarious, but never this daunting. I was equally enthralled and intimidated. Seriously. The dude gave me chills!

Dr. Raynor got a case of the chills, too, though she deserves them. She has swapped babies and, these days, is kidnapping them. If she steals an embryo and implants it in someone else, she'll achieve the trifecta of horrible baby crimes in Salem. Oh, Amanda. At one time, I thought homemade banana bread could fix things. Now, I'm not so sure, but don't let that stop you from sending some, just in case.

Oh, snap! Dr. Raynor called Kristen "the DiMera woman." Ha! Say that to her face, Mandy. Say. That. To. Her. Face. *evil grin* Kristen might be kinder and gentler these days, but the Phoenix still has sharp talons when needed. Just ask Victor.

It makes me happy when Eli calls old friends and contacts. I don't know why. I feel like between Eli, Rafe, and Shane, we're always just one tiny degree from Kevin Bacon.

I have to admit, I keep misting up with Lani, as Sal Stowers is selling the sadness of the situation.

This storyline is bringing out the best in both Lani and Eli, and that best is two passionate police detectives facing a family tragedy together. At their best, they're both brilliant and badass, so I almost feel sorry for the lot of losers who stole Carver and Jules. Almost.

"Carver and Jules" sounds like a British romcom sitcom.

Julie warned, "I'm going to make their lives a living hell, and you know I can do it!" Without a doubt, Ms. Williams. You will never be doubted on this one. No doubt. At all. Oh, it's almost a waste of Julie's energy to sic her on Raynor, though, as that lady's already jumpier than Bonnie when a good idea gets too close.

Oh, crud. I guess I do have to give the Big Bon Bon some credit. She led "Elani" to their first lead by -- eventually -- recalling enough information about the culprit so a composite sketch could be made. Well. Two of them. The second actually looked like Raynor, and both Val and Lani recognized her immediately. Woot! It's on.

Actually, I take back that "some credit." Justin is buying her a lotto ticket and dinner. Much more than she deserves. Only the best of the best Salemites should dine with our fair Justin.

Well played, DAYS! Having Lani know Raynor from when she was pregnant with David was smart.

Raynor's switched an alive baby for a dead one before. So, is Davey Abraham out there somewhere? I wouldn't put it past her. Green seems to be Mandy's favorite color.

Hold up! Why hasn't "Elani" called Kate yet? She solved the last kidnapping in record speed -- while wearing heels -- and still had enough time for a victory martini. Add her to your contact list, Eli.

People are quick to speak unfavorably of Kate, but just this week, she helped Chad and Abe. She's cool as long as you're cool. Remember that. If not, she'll remind you that, "I know. I'm the best. You're welcome." And you are, Kate!

Regarding those Kate helping Chad scenes -- I adored every minute. The surrogate mom and son chemistry between Lauren Koslow and Billy Flynn is always charming, and I loved Kate's straight-shooting advice. Tell your wife the truth as soon as possible and "Suck it up, my friend." That about covers it, Kate. Well said.

Billy Flynn plays broken unbelievably.

As predicted in last week's Two Scoops, yep, Marci Miller and Billy were fantastic! They heart-punched me as Chad lamented his shame while Abigail stood her ground that he broke them by not believing in her. "Chabby" might not feel like winners right now, but we won from those performances. Bravo! Now, excuse me while I get some more tissues.

Well, Chad. On the upside, at least you got a compliment! Gwen said you're a "very talented lover." That's, um, something, right, pal? There, there, old buddy. We'll grab Kate and fix this somehow. I still think it's lingering hypnosis.

I also still think Gwen drugged Chad's Champagne. That's literally her thing. Because of that, I don't think they actually did the deed. Just kissed until he passed out from the Gwentini. I'll let you know if I'm right in about eight months or so.

Yes. Yes. And yes! I enjoyed everything about Jack, Jennifer, and Abby hashing out their theories on Gwen and connecting the dots. It's no wonder they win all those journalism awards. More, please.

Can someone ask Joanie Heslop to rush to Salem just to say, "You're terrible, Gwen."

Not so terrible is Emily O'Brien! I was dazzled by how amazingly she plays dastardly. My first note about Thursday's episode is, "Damn! Gwen can be cruel." And funny. That "Everybody needs a hobby" line was cruel, but I still chuckled. I never said I wasn't terrible.

Gwen also said, "I'm used to being despised." That's sad, Ms. Rizczech. Relatable. But sad.

Back to the cruel part because Gwen was just that, though there was no "Poor Abigail" this time. She was stoic and strong. A real badass. And she will slap a ho for hurting her and her family. And she did. Gwen got slapped, like, real hard. I don't normally condone violence, but I'm not not cheering on Abigail.

And how about applause as O'Brien vs. Killer Miller was all shades of amazing! I can't wait for round two, and, in my head, Abby's already throwing jabs in the air while listening to "Eye of the Tiger." I'm here for that all day long. All. Day. Long.

LOOSE ENDS: Remember all the way back to last week when we spoke of getting Jennifer a new bestie to replace Hope? I'll wait while we all flash back to me writing it and you reading it. Okay. I feel like a fool I didn't think retro enough. Hello, Carly Manning! She was Jen's O.G. friend, and, with Vivian circling around Salem like a baby-snatching vulture, this would be the perfect opportunity for Doc von Leuschner to return.

I also think it would be a great opportunity for Carly to flourish as a character. Salem is now Bopeless, and she wouldn't be chained to that supercouple anchor, yet there are still connections to that past like Victor and Shawn-D to play with when needed. Of course, she got along with Shawn. Victor, on the other hand *insert evil snickering* Carly seemed to have had a budding something-something with Rafe at one point, too, I thought. Or at least a good friendship. In any event, I vote "Bring Carly Back!" It couldn't hurt, and something tells me powerhouses Crystal Chappell and Cady McClain would have great friend chemistry.

Aw! I wonder if one can find a "You're the best part of me, and he is the worst" on a birthday card for siblings somewhere. On the inside, it could read, "Guess which one you are? Love, Mom," and the mom could cross out the "love" so there'll be no guessing. We all know Ava loves herself some cards, as she wrote ones for Tripp each year, so I'll look in the gift shop for her after we're done Two Scooping.

Seriously, though, what happened to make Ava hate Charlie? Depending who you ask, she's not entirely a monster. She loves Tripp; has an unrequited, unhealthy passion for the Patch Man; and has managed to make some friends. This makes me think that Crabapple Charlie didn't fall far from the tree, if you know what I mean. Ava doesn't know Tripp that well yet loves him unconditionally because he's Steve's son. So, if a father plays that big of a role on her "How Much Do I Love My Child" scale, that must mean she hates his father. Did he harm her like Charlie harmed Allie? Hmm.

I'm also adding new names to the "Who's Charlie's Daddy?" poll. First, Lawrence Alamain. He's from a powerful mafia-esque family who have their own damn country, Alamainia. He's a creeper who's known to be rapey. And, though "dead," with Vivian doing said circling of Salem, well, that could be interesting, especially if Charlie called her Great Auntie Viv. She would bask in the "great" part.

Apple and tree, there's also Nicholas Alamain. He was never depicted as a baddie, but things change, or maybe Ava done him wrong, and he raised Charlie to hate her. Nickie wasn't perfect. He's also Vivian's great-nephew, Kate's former lover, and Carly's son. See! Carly needs to come back now. It's full circle.

Finally, what about another dig into DAYS history? How about a son or grandson we never knew Alex Marshall had? If they can cast someone with the love-to-hate-him scoundrel charisma that Alex's portrayer Quinn Redeker had, this character could be a wonderful addition to the cast.

Nicole said she wants to kill Charlie. She also stated there's a bunch of people who'd like to do the same. Again, "Hmm." Was that a "heat of the moment" remark or foreshadowing? Though, does it matter? In Salem, serial killers and rapists can be reformed, and the dead can be undeaded, so, there's that.

I want to join in on that Belle and Claire hug. Poor gal. It was pitiful to see Claire call herself stupid. Her arc has been interesting in this entire scenario. We're seeing her go back to zero. Charlie is like her first boyfriend in a lot of senses. By "her," I mean a mentally healthier version of Claire Bear. If her mended psyche can survive heartbreak, I think she'll be okay. I hope so, at least. If not, Nicole can add me to the list of those out to get Charlie.

Oh, that wasn't a threat. I won't even get my hands dirty. I'll just get John all verklempt by turning on It's a Wonderful Life and then immediately rile him up by reminding him about what Chuckie did to Allie and Claire. He won't know which way is up, but he'll go into full berserker mode. Oh. Rant-itis is a beautiful "Get Out of Jail Free" card, my friends. Yeah. I probably should have been madly cackling and holding a cat while I wrote that last part. I see that now.

Okay. Tripp is winning all sorts of points lately. Not only is he more self-aware this time around and made amends, but he's a good dude. He's equally concerned about clearing his name and getting justice for Allie. That's big of him. And since he left his phone at Charlie's place, it proves he can set down his cell and pay attention to a person, not a screen. In 2021, that's a big bonus. Swipe right while you can, Salem ladies.

Of course, Mimi ruined Philip's life. That's kind of what she does, though. Water wet. Mimi maddening. I mean, technically, Philip is an adult and made his own choices, making his mistake his own fault, but I'll still take Option Two -- blaming Mimi. Besides, the reality of anyone being dumber than Mimi makes my head hurt, and I'm not ready to believe Philip was stupid enough to follow her down that dumb rabbit hole. She must have drugged his drink. That's it.

Oh, gosh. Tyler Wilkens (Kiriakis) is either the dumbest person on the planet or, totally unlike his bio parents, the smartest. And I still think it's the perfect time for Claire's high school pal Henry to return and turn out to be Tyler. She needs a friend, and Phil will soon need another storyline. Plus, if Bonnie had a grandson to focus on, she might leave Justin alone!

Seriously, Brady Black. Shut your face. Kristen is not Chloe's problem!? I know that he's been brainwashed or Stockholm syndromed by his blushing behind bars belle, but I don't believe for a second that Special K isn't cooking up a Chloe mask in some Tennessee warehouse or airing out the old "secret room."

Also, Kristen has pals Ava and Lani roaming around Salem. One or both might be willing to do some dirty work for her. Ava for the fun of it, and Lani out of guilt over St. Lady of the DiMeras' supreme sacrifice that she made for her. Or, you know, Kristen and her family have an entire arsenal of flying monkey henchmen at their command. There's that, too. So, really. Not a problem? Gimme a break, Brady.

Ha! You could almost see the little hamster in the wheel run faster when Brady had to compute that he might be Kristen-less for years. It's been awhile. He's due for another "love of his life." Again. This does not bode well for Chloe, though.

Still! The Chlomeister has overcome attacks by Kate and her brownies, Vivian, Victor, Jan and Mimi, and El Noodle of the Mexican Pasta Cartel, to name a few. I'm not saying that Kristen's crazy would be a cake walk, but Chloe is the Cher of Salem -- she'll be around with the cockroaches past the end of time.

HOT Not to be redundant, but, damn, DAYS is on fire! Like, it's the best time to be a fan. The cast and crew are putting out extra-extraordinary work right now. The show's solid. It's riveting. It's simply wowing. Bravo, bravo, bravo, Team DAYS -- we love you!

NOT Two weeks and no signs of the enchanting Tony and Anna!? This needs to change. Pronto.

LINE OF THE WEEK Nicole (to Rafe regarding Ava): "We weren't the 'share your deepest secrets' kind of friends. We were 'share a cocktail and complain about men' kinda friends."

TRUE 'DAT LINE OF THE WEEK DECADE Bonnie (to Justin): "A little of me goes a long way."

EVEN MORE RANDOM THOUGHTS Julie said of Gabi, "She never gets over anything." She said that with a straight face. Seriously. It's yet to be determined if she wants to be called "Pot" or "Kettle," but I vote for "Pot," as it's a nice little wink to the book club a few years back.

I love Steve and Tripp's bond. You can tell that since Steve had a horrible dad, he's doing everything he can to be the opposite for Tripp. That and it's adorable how proud Steve is of him. More, please.

On topic, I do hope Kayla and Tripp can work it out, too, despite Ava probably wishing the opposite.

I love Rafe in interrogation mode. Seriously, Galen Gering knocks those scenes out of the park. I'm glad he's back!

Claire yelling at her grandparents was sad, especially for an already emotionally fragile John. Marlena could understand where she was coming from, but he was a step from crumbling and whimpering, "But she's my Claire Bear." Poor guy.

Lani whispered to Eli regarding Julie, "I know she means well, but get her out of here." See, Lanister. Once we found our same page again, I knew we'd have something to re-bond on. What do you say we hit up the smoothie stand and Quinn Hudson's day spa once the twins are found?

Also, I get it, Lani. That nightmare she had was horrendous. Nothing good comes of dolls. Ever! Chuckie. The Bride of Chuckie. All Victorian era dolls. All of them. Isla de las Munecas. Annabelle! Billy the Puppet. I know he's a puppet and not technically a doll, but close enough. Okay. I'm going back to my safe Two Scoops space now, so excuse me while I pour another Scotch and turn on the lights. All the lights.

When Brady and Chloe spoke of him balancing his work life and Rachel, did anyone else add, "And Tate!"

I love that Shawn and Belle are back from their honeymoon. I wonder if they went to Alamainia? I hear it's lovely this time of year.

I'm placing a few chips on the "Ava's confession about Charlie won't be any good because she was drugged" spot.

Remember when John and Kate were engaged?

Sure, Nicole. Come on in.

And, okay, Nicole and Allie, I guess I'll tell Roman you're leaving, and he'll have to watch the kids indefinitely until you return. I'm sure babysitting won't get in the way of operating his business. Then again, had he been nicer to Hattie, he'd have an extra pair of hands on, well, hand. So, sorry, not sorry, Mr. Roman.

Julie calling Will was so odd.

I'm not so sure Charlie was right when he stated that Ava is terrified of doctors. I suspect she's more scared of their sons. Sorry, Joey.

"Nicole Brady. I'm your worst nightmare," seems like it should be on her business card. I mean that as a compliment. Nicole has been a bit extra lately, but I'd still want her on my side. Always. And I'm glad she and Ava are friends again, too. Maybe Ms. Vitali will remind the former Ms. Walker to martini a little more often.

Maggie must hire the best managers around, as she's always free to babysit and never at Chez Rouge. I just hope it's not Fran. Yuck.

I cannot wait for next week! Tripp and Charlie's showdown is going to be off the chain, I suspect. For real. We have His Awesomeness Lucas Adams vs. the Magnificent Mike Manning. These two talented gents make me feel bad for other younger actors who aren't them.

I enjoyed Xander's reaction to the Ava abduction news, "Our Charlie!?" A lot of folks have made fun of Superman's glasses disguise since 1938, but I guess they really do throw people off the trail. I'll need to get me a pair for the next time I stroll through town and pray Bonnie doesn't recognize me.

Wait. Did Xander ever get his smoothie? He deserves a victory beverage. It was nice to see him win by playing relatively clean, even if he threw his girlfriend a smidge under the bus. He needs to call Sarah and tip her off. Anyway, maybe Philip can work his way back up the corporate ladder, starting with intern and a smoothie run.

Kate and Val should talk, as they both had a strong reaction to the name "Jules." Ha. Kate always cracks me up.

Can we get a "Yoda training Luke Skywalker" type scene between Julie and Nicole? I can totally picture Julie in a carrier on Nicole's back, spouting off, um, wisdom like, "Barge in you must," "No is not an answer you take," and "Control, control, learn control you must!" Some of the lessons will likely be dramatic entrances, leaving something behind so one must go back, not letting the curtains move when spying on a neighbor's activities, and pretending to drink out of a cup while secretly eavesdropping. It's like Jedi and spy training meet busybody. May the forceful be with you.

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's it for January 18! I'm sure you're all ready for a healthy dose of Laurisa's Two Scooping brilliance, and she's ready to sit down to watch and write, as marking off every six feet for the Trippapalooza Apology Tour has her miles away from town, as there are so many Salemites who need to say, "I'm sorry, Mr. Dalton." Kayla has recognized she'll likely need to apologize. Roman better be ready with fries. Nicole, well, she'll just barge right in on whoever is making amends at the moment to give hers. With that, I'm off to purchase a grape Bodyarmor sports drink and some carrot sticks for Laurisa then pick her up in Brookville, USA, as that's how far she's gotten. Of course, by "sports drink and carrots," I mean wine and chocolate. And I'm not actually driving, I'll be using the DiMera Enterprises town car services. It's good to know people. Hi, Li *giggles* As always, thank you for reading, and "That's a fact."

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