Can you hear me now?

What will happen to baby Horton? Is John going to recover? If he does, will he be able to help track down his old friend Edwardo before Eve does something irreversible? Let's speculate on what's to come in this edition of Two Scoops!

Welcome, everyone. I'm glad you could make it. Please, take a seat. We've come here today to discuss a very serious topic -- one that is life or death. It's not going to be easy. For years, we've been living a lie. Perhaps it was all a conspiracy on the part of the science community. Perhaps the reality was just too much to bear. Whatever the reason, it's time to get the truth out on the table, once and for all. My friends, we must now accept the following fact: arguments cause brain aneurisms.

I know! I know! I, too, labored under the false assumption that these bulging blood vessels in the brain must be the result of smoking, chronic high blood pressure, or even age. But, alas, that is not true! As we will learn in the coming days, Sami Brady has the sole responsibility for everyone's healthy neurological function or demise. Just get ready to hear about it from...everyone.

I suspect Belle will drop Sami as a client. I suspect Marlena will completely ignore the bond she now has with Sami -- having a mini-marshmallow head of her own to love. I suspect Nicole will continue to go on seizing on every opportunity like the master diva she is (respect!). And, I suspect I will continue to love all of this!

First of all, if delivered by anyone else, in any less frantic tone, in just a slightly lower volume, everyone would agree with Sami's point. Allie's ability to make good decisions is absent and has been for some time. Her latest stunt -- abandoning her child to go on the run -- is very worrisome. Is she able to get postnatal care on the run?! Did you bring a pump? My gal, your body just went through some trauma!

And Sami is right about the ping-pong custody. First, Rafe was the one, then Wilson, now Nicole. Allie did nothing to make any of these wishes legal. As Belle rightfully pointed out, Allie never discussed this before the last minute. Allie didn't make an informed decision. "I left a note!" custody isn't a thing. There's a reason for that.

I can maybe understand everyone coddling Allie when she came back to Salem. Stress wouldn't be good for the baby. (Again, the prenatal care on the run probably wasn't top notch, either!) But now that she's gone, we need to take some of the rose-colored glasses off here and look at the bigger picture. Allie, not Sami, made a mess of this. There's a baby suffering because of it.

Sami's not going to like what I have to say here, but technically, I don't think she gets custody by default. There's the big question out there of the child's father. But in the absence of legal parents, I think Baby Horton is a ward of the state. There would need to be a trial to see who gets custody. And just like that, we're deliciously back 20 years ago, where Nicole is actively making it difficult for Sami to win a custody case! So soapy! I love it!

And in this case, I get why Nicole is a trigger for Sami. Nicole schemed against Sami to keep Will away from her. Later, Nicole literally stole Sydney from Sami at birth, swapped her with baby Grace, Grace died, and Nicole watched Sami grieve a child that wasn't even hers. So, everyone can talk all they want about how Nicole has changed. From Sami's point, this is dj vu for the third time. I think it's actually very unfair for people to expect Sami give Nicole the benefit of the doubt here, especially since Nicole did scheme against Sami when she lied about Sami pressuring Rafe. (Hey, Rafe, you could pop into this storyline and clean up that lie any minute!)

Now, that's not to say Sami shouldn't get called out on her nonsense. No, Nicole is not trying to use this baby to hold onto Eric. That dude broke up with God for her. He's all in on Nicole, baby or no baby. You're wrong here, Sammers. Personally, I think it would be better for Eric if he told both of them he's not picking sides and to stop putting him in the middle.

Side note -- I wonder if Eric ever gets tired of women apologizing to him. "I'm so sorry. I love you. But that woman just makes me so mad!" is the exact same line both Sami and Nicole say to him.

Where was I? Oh, yes, Sami's family. I was all in on Kate calling out Marlena on favoring Eric over Sami. To be fair, Carrie's not around to favor over Sami, so Marlena's got to have someone! Kidding. It's not hard to favor Eric over Sami, since Eric is just much, much easier to handle. Sami is a lot. And the fact that she's been "a lot" over things that were not grand problems in life -- such as your crush not liking you back -- she's ruined her chance at being justified "a lot" at moments like this, when it's absolutely appropriate.

Still, I wouldn't want Alison Sweeney any other way. No one does powder keg like she does. Maybe it's the angst of being semi-quarantined, but her rant felt cathartic. I'm going to need the Lady Sweeney to go off on the world right now -- politics, injustice, pandemic, economy -- it's all heavy right now. Maybe I just need a little Sami rant at it all. Just don't stand right in front of her unless you want to catch a brain aneurysm.

LOOSE ENDS: The best part of a possible Rope reconciliation was the girlfriend interrogation from Kayla and Jen. I sort of hope they don't get back together just so we get more scenes like this one.

Sonny got a job offer to run a nonprofit in Adrienne's name that is working on a technology to detect breast cancer even sooner. This sounds like the perfect job for Sonny. It's still suit-worthy but has a mission to make the world a better place. I love this for Sonny Bear. However, he and Will were a little off base expecting Ari to just go with them. Moving a child -- who already had a bad separation anxiety reaction to being separated from her mother before -- across the country and away from everything she's known her whole life is not something any parent should just agree to.

Another question, could John's brain aneurysm have caused his odd behavior? I thought it was way out of character for him to attack Sami like he did. Threatening to call his 40-year-old grown daughter and order her to drop a case just didn't seem like something John would do, either.

I was totally on Xander's side when it came to Brady. He did Titan dirty. I know Victor felt guilty, but Brady was playing with thousands of people's livelihoods and then went MIA to chase after his wacko baby mama. This decision was business, and Brady was not doing what was best for the company.

Lucas said a lot of hurtful things and deserved that slap Sami gave him. Still, I had to chuckle at Sami's "ouch" after she hit him. Lumi is tremendous. I will always enjoy their scenes when I can get them! And I agree with Lucas. Sami has no business leaving the country with Baby Horton.

I'm glad to see Kate finally gave Nicole the side eye. It's not so much that people keep throwing Sami's distant past in her face. It's that no one is doing the same to Nicole. I don't quite understand that.

Finally! I have hope for the Ben storyline. Hope that we're near the end, that is! First, Rafe got a legit lead on Eve. Second, Edwardo has joined the picture (at least through the phone), and he's the only other one who can speak to Eve on a parent level about losing Paige. Third, Ben got his last dose of strangle juice, so we're ready for the check on Vincent. Finally, Ciara left a voicemail threatening to kill Vincent or Eve, making me wonder if Ben will kill Vincent, and Ciara will take the fall/blame. Either way, let's fast-track this one. Ciara and I have ice cream to eat!

HOT Philip is back! Has it only been five years? (Or has it been four but with the time jump, Xander thinks it's five? Ugh. Soap math is hard.) I adore Jay Kenneth Johnson's work as Philip. Philip is the Golden Child with a capital "G," and he knows it, too. JKJ is so good at piling on the smarm and then wiping it away for a few select people. I like the built-in rivalry with "Xandy" already. I can't wait to see what happens when Philip sees Claire again! And, I'm not sure I'd mind it if Philip did have to cross hairs with Gabi or Abigail. Ah, the possibilities! Welcome home, Philly!

NOT: As glad as I am that Philip is back, and as much as I adore Xander, I had to shake my head when Victor said, "You're the only man for the job!" Sigh. Emphasis on the word "man." Victor never considered Chelsea or Ciara to run the company? Hasn't Ciara literally been training for this job for a few years and was the one who realized Brady was scheming to dismantle the company? There's no way she's not qualified to run this soap company.

LINE OF THE WEEK: Victor (about Bonnie): "She hasn't been taken advantage of since God was a boy!" Ha! True! I have yet to figure out why Justin's reward for being the nicest guy in the world is to get saddled with Bonnie. Is there no justice?!

LINE OF THE WEAK: Vincent: "It's only a matter of time before Ben kills Ciara." Eve: "I hope you're right!" Is Eve hearing herself? She's actively rooting for someone else's daughter to die! Yikes!

RANDOM THOUGHTS Who doesn't love to hear, "Let's go in the interrogation room" before having a conversation with their husband?

The pumpkin seat disappeared from Marlena's couch in between Ericole leaving and Sami fighting with John. Someone check for Dr. Baker's whereabouts! Is he still in contact with Nicole?

Hold on, what cousins does Ari like playing with in Arizona? Does one of Sonny's brothers have kids? Did we know this?

God love Maggie for trying with the hospital gift shop. Those balloons were bad, but she did the best she could!

Did Gabi know Adrienne? I guess she did because Adrienne was Ari's "grandmother." But I didn't remember them sharing many scenes together.

Both Billy Flynn and Kristian Alfonso have mad winking skills. I'm jealous.

It can't be a coincidence that Nicole is dressing more and more like a priest, the more pious she gets with Sami.

I watched the digital series, and I will say it again. I think they stored Jay Kenneth Johnson in formaldehyde. He looks the same as he did when he graduated from Salem High.

I totally believe Julie would pop over any time. And I totally believe she'd be mad if her gift wasn't out.

Truth, Hope! Nothing bothers me more than when someone has a bad handshake.

Ben: "Six years ago today, I murdered Eve's daughter." Me (for Ciara): "Six years ago today, I was in the second grade."

I'm in for cocktails with Belle and Shawn! Mind if I pull up a chair?

With that haircut, complete with her love of jumpers, Lindsey Godfrey has completed her transition into Phoebe Waller-Bridge. This is not a criticism and locks in our choice for Sarah's Halloween costume.

That's it for this week! Tony will be back next week to possibly supervise Sami's tar and feathering in the town square, and definitely to start the campaign to name this poor kid already. I know Allie was technically named after her great-grandmothers -- Alice and Caroline. But part of me always thought DAYS gave Allie's name as a slight nod to Alison Sweeney and her tenure with the show. So, I'm just throwing out that naming the baby Bryan would be the same kind of sweet respect for DAYS vet Bryan Dattilo. Let me know your ideas! Laurisa

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