Let 'em say we're crazy, what do they know?

DAYS delivered the OMGs in abundance last week! Hurricane Sami blew into town. Ben's blaming made Claire frown. Jake is a twin! Abe's made of win. Bonnie's still whack. Ivan's back! Vivian's dead!? And Eric and Nicole were finally wed! So, say, ''I do!'' and let's Rollerblade to Salem Place and pick up something at the Java Café to toast Eric and Nicole's big day in this week's DAYS Two Scoops!

Last week was the week of DAYS this fan desperately needed. Sure, there was a Bonnie-sized snag and a few other issues -- I'm looking at you, Rafe -- but, you guys, Eric and Nicole finally got married! I'm still swooning over that love fest. I also love that Sami's home. Like, really, it's as if a million months ago when these episodes taped, Alison Sweeney sensed we would need her now more than ever and returned to her old stomping grounds. Oh, Superstar Sweeney, you've been missed. And what wasn't to love about all the magical, mischievous moments between Kate and Vivian!? Oh. Oh! And Vivian once again comes with a side of Ivan. Yep. It was a great week to be a DAYS fan. Almost...

Oh, Rafe. Sweet, sweet, snarky, stupid, Rafe. What's the deal, man? We were just settling into a nice relationship after all these years, and you blew it. Heck. Later in the day, we were going to get scones and a cappuccino at the square and watch mean manager Fran freak out after we called the city health inspector. But, nope. Now all of that's gone. You done me wrong, mein Herr, by perpetuating these lies that Vivian is...that my Madam Alamain has...okay, deep breaths...that Auntie Viv has -- I just can't with that.

I don't care if I'm shooting the messenger, Rafe. I can jog all the way to Texas and back, but my Madam can't! I wanna know how Jake will ever know how wonderful his mother was! Lord, I wish I could understand! I-I just wanna hit somebody 'til they feel as bad as I do! I just wanna hit something! I wanna hit it hard! What!? Oh. Great. Rafe's upset me so much I'm Steel Magnolia-ing again. Thanks again, Rafe. No scones for you -- and don't even think about a cappuccino.

So, the commissioner who shall not be named right now as I'm furious with him, was told that Vivian has, let's say, "gone to mail a letter at the big post office in the sky." I don't believe this. At all. I think she's either faking "mailing a letter" to get out of jail, or she's "at the post office" in the Salem sense, meaning she'll be back soon. I'm sure Madam will fare far better than Don Craig at that task. Plus, maybe she still had some *whispers* Resurrection by Wilhelm left rattling around inside her, or maybe she got a new injection. Either way, no. Nope. I refuse to believe she's gone postal. As Liz Lemon would say, "Shut it down."

Okay. More deep breaths, and let's move on from Rafe spreading lies -- lies, I tell you! Right. Deep breaths. It's time to break out the bubbly and toast this week's newlywedded couple, Eric and Nicole! They made it. They finally made it through the wilderness. Somehow, they made through. They didn't even have the same start-stop-restart-stop again-and-repeat-ten-times misfortune as Eli and Lani. Whew! That's a wedding win right there, right, Justin? Ouch. Too soon? My bad. Actually, I love me some Justin, and, two weeks later, I'm still staggered by Wally Kurth's epic performances. I completely cosign all of the praise Laurisa bestowed upon him last week!

And speaking of applause-worthy performances, Greg Vaughan and Arianne Zucker were dazzling! Their chemistry sincerely sold the twenty-some years of love, loss, loathing, and everything else Eric and Nicole have been through to reach this point of bliss with one another. Really think about it. This couple has survived a recast, various writing regimes changes (each with their own agendas), and on-screen decades of drama, but fans still clamored to see them together. THAT is amazing to me, and, honestly, a testament to the actors' talents and charm together. Thank you, Greg and Ari!

Also, thank you to the writers for not giving Eric and Nicole the Eli and Lani whiplash start-stop treatment. That really took away from Eli and Lani's wedding, and, after all this time, it was a treat to watch Eric and Nicole's nuptials have fairly smooth sailing, despite their years of choppy waters. For the most part, of course. Eventually, Hurricane Sami blew into port, but more on that later. In the meantime, let's focus on some of the utterly amazing parts of Eric and Nicole's big "I Do's!" RANDOM THOUGHTS-style:

My waterworks began when Eric read that letter from Caroline. Done. I was done. I had a very close relationship with my Gram, too, and, damn it, that scene slayed me.

Ha! In addition to it being his wedding day, it was also the day Eric was basically decreed "Favorite Brady Ever" by his family.

Nicole and Marlena's conversation was classy. Ms. Walker won for being open and honest with her soon-to-be Marlena-in-law. She wasn't begging for forgiveness, but she was grateful that Mar had an open mind and heart. Doc gets a high-five for honesty, too. She didn't try to overly feign excitement to have Nicole as her daughter-in-law, but she was welcoming and appreciative that Nicole makes Eric so happy. Well played, ladies.

Also, Marlena getting manicures with Holly is nearly as cute as Roman and John taking her for ice cream later. Umm. I think Mar wins that, actually. Those two chuckleheads were more getting soft serve for self-serving reasons. Cowards! I kid. I kid. Well, a little. John's "Marlena can handle it" line was a little weak for such a big bad super-agent. Get in the game, man. Support your wife. Your family! But, please, oh, please, make that "karma" statement to Sami's face, John -- please do that! Okay, back to lovey-dovey stuff...

There seemed to be a "family" and "support" theme at the wedding, and I truly liked that. It was sweet that he thanked her for being his family and when she spoke of second chances. "Big dreams, big schemes," indeed, but a beautiful start to a next chapter for the couple.

I still can't believe this was Eric's first wedding ever! That's pretty amazing for a central soap opera character. Congrats, Eric. You held out for the woman of your dreams and won, which gives hope to all the lonely Salemites out there.

Eric gets a gold star for saving the cake topper. Yay, cake! I mean, yay, Eric.

I feel like I missed Nicole's something old, new, borrowed, and blue.

I adored each and every part of Abe at the wedding. James Reynolds is magic, pure and simple. From mentioning Fay (who should be back from the dead by now, please and thank you), to Abe's words of love for Nicole, "The Bradys have always been family to me, and Nicole is my family." Yes, that made me majorly misty. Later, I also loved his interaction with Sami. She called him "Uncle Abe." I misted up again.

Did anyone else do a double take of the extra -- sorry! Not extra. The very close friend of Eric and/or Nicole who was sitting behind Marlena. I swore it was Dario (Jordi Vilasuso) for a second and even hit the ten-second rewind to find out. It was not. But he looked like him.

Their wedding musical montage was great, but I think Starship's "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" would have been more appropriate.

Also, I'm just saying, since Malibu Shores was on NBC, DAYS should have snagged some footage of Greg Vaughan and doctored it up to look like young Eric Greg and young Nicole Ari were really in the same scenes back in the day to amp up their montage. Look at what photo shop magic my magical boss whipped up in only minutes!

I thought it was touching that Nicole thanked Roman, Marlena, and John for raising Eric to be so wonderful. Though that bunch also raised Sami, so...

It's kind of funny that Nicole's last name is now Brady and Sami's isn't.

Some of my wedding disappointments were more like nitpicks. I wish Chloe's absence had been addressed. Nicole doesn't have many friends. The Chlomeister should have stood up for her or brought Parker. Nice, too, would have been a Brandon cameo. Oh, right, or a congratulatory note from Taylor or her coveted scarf. And I wasn't too thrilled that we didn't get an on-screen reception again. Thanks, Sami. Oh right! I forgot to exclaim...

"Ssshhheee'sss bbbaaaccckkk!" Sami's back. Back again. And, sorry wedding goers, she didn't technically crash. She stopped by to see her dad, and you all were just having a wedding. Tomato. Tomahto. Perhaps. But I don't blame Sami for being super surly and superbly sad. I'd be crushed to come home only to find my entire family celebrating without me. Even a quick, "We know you probably can't come, since you live far away and this is last minute, but..." text would have been polite on a basic level of common courtesy, but, nope. Nada. Yet Sami's always the a-hole? Hmm. That's something to ponder.

Also, I respect Allie's choices, but perhaps someone should have taken off the kid gloves and told pregnant "I want to be treated like an adult" Allie, "Look. It sucks to suck, but the groom's twin sister should be invited to the wedding if that's what the bride and groom want. You can attend or not attend, but that invite's going out in the mail." But, nope. They all "Oh, no!"-ed when Sami came a "crashing." Ugh.

Sami's reactions, okay, overreactions are usually far from fun to deal with for her family, and, oh, you bet they make things worse at times, but they also expect the worst from her, so I guess they're getting what they asked for. There's that. Maybe. I dunno. It's a fine line at times, and there's that old "treat others like you want to be treated" saying to ponder, too. Maybe if they worked on a soft approach instead of an ambush, Sami would slow her roll a bit. Maybe. Probably not, but worth a try.

Though I can tell you who Sami's Saminess is a fun treat for, and that's me. I was instantly brought back in time to the various similar scenes where chaos ensued, and, you know what, I popped some corn and enjoyed every flipping second of it. Ultimately, Sami Brady, I get it. Sometimes you just have to be the wrecking ball everyone expects you to be. You go on with your bad self, and I'll have a Samitini waiting for you at the bar when you're done because I need to get caught up on the other kids and Eej and how to get icing out of clothes and all sorts of other fun topics!

LOOSE ENDS: The depths of my love for the chemistry between Louise Sorel and Lauren Koslow knows no limits. I would watch them sit in a room firing back and forth until I passed out only to rewind and continue watching when I woke. Auntie Viv. Kate. Love. Them! And, "More please!"

Okay, so, really, I'm not sure which was the biggest "Oh. My. God!" moment between Vivian and Kate last week. Was it Vivian stabbing her guinea pig in the arm with the needle or Vivian actually thanking Kate later!?

I buried another lead under all that gushing about Viv and Kate. That lead being Jake is not Stefan. I repeat, "Not Stefan." Jake is Stefan's twin brother. Twins! Collect your winnings at the Two Scoops service counter if you guessed that one.

I feel like it's win either way, as Jake is free to be Jake and not be bogged down by Stefan's sleazier side. He's free to make his own terrible mistakes without all the Stefan stigma. Of course, he may not remain Jake, as Vivian isn't fond of the name. I don't want to be the one to tell her it's a bit late to name him after Lawrence.

Gabi was, of course, crushed, and I get it. Camila Banus was great in those scenes, as was Brandon Barash! While Gabi can shoo Jake away, I don't think we've seen the last of them together. Gwen may not like that thought, but I'll take her out for some more Bloody Marys to make it up to her as long as Chad's still offering up the car service. Thank you, Mr. Chad! Oh, you can come, too.

But back to the baby bombshell. Well. The Jake one. Not the Allie one. I was thrilled to see Ivan, and I get his reasons to stay mum about the runt of the litter, but I still hate that he did so. Sure. He was protecting Vivian and -- oh! I think he's still protecting her by helping to fake a post office run so she can escape jail. Got it. Thanks, Ivan. You're back on the "HOT" list!

Why did Ben call the jeweler after confronting Claire? That would have been my first move. My second move. My first being a meltdown and cursing a lot then I would have called the jeweler, then, if they didn't have it, only then would I cause my fiance a bunch of emotional stress the night before the wedding. Though, I'm biased. I'm totally Team Claire Bear here. She's looking far too guilty to actually be guilty, unless she's just ruining things to fix them to get them to like and trust her quicker. Then she's at least doing the wrong things for the right-ish reason. Not really, but that's progress over burning people alive, huh? Oh, boy. Ciara's little drinks with the gals was fun, though, as was Ben's beer with Will!

In this week's edition of "Who's Allie's Baby Daddy!?" I have a suggestion that would certainly shake up the old family tree. It was said that Sami's Little Ke$ha partied hard in London. Maternal Great-Uncle (via adoption) Max Brady lives in London. Uncle Maxie often made a living bartending and was prone to date nieces. He did so...twice. Hi, Steph. Hi, Chelsea. Did he go for a trifecta by courting Allie?

Another shake-up on the other side of the family tree would be if Allie's baby daddy was Chad. I'm remaining on board the "Chad's Still Brainwashed Express" until I'm told to get off. Plus, it's pretty lovely. He provides drinks with Gwen and car services, but, anyway, I'm not unconvinced that Manchurian, um, ManChadian didn't sleep with Allie at some point. It would sort of blow apart the Horton family for a moment or two.

My final Allie Baby Daddy guess for the week is maybe it's not a daddy. Maybe it's a daddy and a mommy! Could she have been carrying a baby for a couple then turned on the idea of surrogacy once she learned more about the parents? Or maybe Dr. Rolf sold her on the idea of having a baby for a couple who can't, perhaps Stefan and Gabi? Big Willy did work for the DiMeras. Sami's a DiMera. Allie might have crossed paths with him. Hmm. Just a big, "Hmm!"

As Rafe and "Wilson" vie to adopt Allie's little whoopsie, I realized there's a way they can both win! Once she hands out the last rose, umm, the last baby rattle, the loser(s) can be given baby Emily as a consolation prize. Sure, he had a good showing in Paris, but when Rex is the "best option" -- by that, I mean "least idiotic" -- of the bunch raising Lil' Em, Rafe or Wilson would certainly be a better choice. Heck, even the pack of wolves who raised young Bobo in the not-classic 1987 film Walk Like a Man would probably do better than the combined brain power of Rex, Meems, and the Big Bon Bon. Forget "Save Ferris." Instead, "Save Emily!"

HOT Eric and Nicole married! Ivan returned! Vivian and Kate were everything. And a very Sami reunion!? Yes, yes, a million times, yes!

NOT DAYS has been great lately, but just the other day while I was talking aloud to the portrait of Stefano, I was like, "You know what the show is missing?" He didn't reply, but I went on to exclaim, "Sexual harassment." And poof! Butt-grabbing, book-signing, bonkers-for-Lucas Bonnie is back. Ooph. At least it appears Bon's learned so much over the past few years. By that, I mean, "Nope. She's still about as fun as getting a flat tire on the way back from the dentist's office where you bumped into your ex while still drooling after some painful procedure." Yaw. That much fun. Let's just pray that there was a mix-up, and Rafe's call was about Bonnie bidding adieu to life instead of Auntie Viv. Please!? Bonus points if we get Judi back as Adrienne. That's all I'm asking for. That's not too much, right?

LINE(S) OF THE WEEK Vivian (to Jake): "Oh, darling. You're an Alamain. You're a DiMera. We just don't think like that." Eric: "Yeah, umm, the reception was kind of an homage to John Belushi." Sonny (to Marlena): "Maybe they watched Nicole open her presents." A Very Snarky Rafe: "Hi, Sami. Welcome back. Missed you." Rafe (to Sami): "Well, I heard you loud and clear, mostly loud..." Lucas: "...[with] as many weddings as you've had, Nicole." Sami (to Allie): "She married your uncle, like, five minutes ago, and already she's your 'Aunt Nicole'!?" Vivian (casually to Kate after she injected her with ReMemories by Dr. Rolf): "Well, I said I was going to test it."

EXCHANGE(S) OF THE WEEK Kate: "Look. Everyone knows I'm Team Chad, so..." Gabi: "Noted." Gwen: "I'm just ecstatic that I found the one person in this town that hates Gabi DiMera as much as I do." Chad: "Throw a rock. You'll hit another." Vivian: "I'm in terrible trouble." Ivan: "There's nothing new. What happened this time?" Vivian: "Oh, well, I crashed a stupid wedding and tried to murder the bride, but I had a very good reason." Ivan: "I have no doubt."

RANDOM THOUGHTS I need to see Dr. Mike Horton or another trusted physician. I must have some sort of itis. Every time Nicole and Roman share a scene, I get uncontrollable heebie-jeebies, and, out of thin air, I hear the voice of the creepy stalker dude from The Bodyguard chanting, "Nooo. Nooo." It's troubling in many ways.

In not so shocking but happy news, Steve and Kayla are "Stayla" again after an honest conversation. It was sweet. Though I think they needed a few more talks like that before hitting the old twin bed. I worry about Kayla still having concerns once things calm down more, but I also have faith that Steve will continue to work on his bad Steve qualities. Crossing fingers these vets get it right this time.

I don't know which snark fest I loved more, Lucas and Nicole's banter, or Lucas and Sami's shots at one another. Either way, Lucas wins! Can we pretty please keep Bryan Dattilo this time!? I feel like Bryan's talents and Ron's writing are a great combo for the character. Plus, Lucas and Jake having a conversation could be all sorts of comical. That needs to happen.

Kate's reactions to the drug Vivian pumped her full of were hysterical.

When I saw Jake reading that article, "Was it rape?" I screamed, "Yes!" and told him to move on.

Can we keep "Funny Marlena" around? She's the best version of Doc. Ever.

Sami needs to stay around to remind Chad that there are more than two remaining DiMera brothers.

How is E.J., by the way? Maybe Mallow Head can return to Salem and Sami can set him up in the big DiMera living room that's not being used. Oh! We can hire nurse Maxine to be his private care specialist. Done. Love it. Send it to print.

Damn! Steve and Kayla should write several scathing reviews of Salem Air. Usually flights take only a commercial break or, at worst, an episode. Sixteen hours to not even arrive at the destination is lousy luck. Maybe they should have taken Touch the Sky. With all her amazing life choices, I bet Sunroof Stephanie could still hook them up with a deal -- unless she's being held underwater in a hot tub...again. Who's to tell?

Vivian called Lani "vindictive." You'd think that would be enough for her and Gabi to bond over for the rest of their delusional lives.

I want to know more about this Dr. Stewart and his credentials.

Allie quipped, "I didn't help matters." You think?

Lucas mentioned a tug o' war for a baby. Um. I'm shocked Will's arms aren't like six feet long, or, in the very least, he doesn't have stretching abilities like Mr. Fantastic.

I'm fairly organized. Some say, "overly organized," but when they do, I just direct them to the correct bin for critical observations and promise to get back to them within seven to ten business days. With that, Steve's suitcase gave me anxiety until he pulled out the mini bottles and pretzels. That'll give me snacks while I instruct him how to properly pack.

We got a Sydney update! Sort of. We know she's old enough to answer the phone. There's that.

Dang! Hearing "The Edge of the Square" was a throwback. Maybe once Allie gives birth, she'll return to her partying ways and introduce us to Salem's newest nightlife hot spots.

Speaking of nightlife in the DAYSverse throughout the years, Bonnie mentioned the honkytonk hellscape she made, but does anyone remember Club Fortuna or Will's friend mentioning Unicorn Highway? Still, I'll never not miss the Cheatin' Heart. Where would you go for a night out on the Salem town?

I don't know why I got a chuckle out of Ben calling Sami "Mrs. DiMera," but I did.

I may have missed it two weeks ago, but did Steph or Tripp ever call Kayla on her would-be wedding day?

I'm glad that Zoey lets Rafe have contact with David. That picture was cute. Though Zoey falling into a volcano and David being returned to Rafe would be cuter. Sorry, not sorry, Zoey. I also loved that Ciara asked him to walk her down the aisle. I might even have gotten misty, too, during that sweet scene. So, see, Rafe, I still care, even when you lie about Vivian's, umm, mailing habits.

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's it for July 20! I hope that everyone is happy and healthy and staying safe by masking up and social distancing. That's so important right now. And with that, Laurisa returns next week, all glammed out and ready for a CINfully good time at the fourth and final wedding of the month. Unfortunately, I cannot attend, as I'll be in Alamainia "on business," but, as always, thank you for reading, and "That's a fact."

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