Will you marry me?

Nearly everyone got engaged last week! Who will make it down the aisle? What kind of snacks will they have? And who will bust up the weddings? Grab your "plus one" and join me in the Two Scoops chapel!

Who would have thought that we'd have four men propose in two weeks and not one of them was Brady Black?!? As soon as he hears about it, my guy is not going to be pleased. Proposing is his jam, fellas. Back off.

Yes, wedding season is going to be busy this year in Salem. Let's chat about the couples and their odds of actually making it to "I do."

We don't have her answer yet, but even if she does say yes, I don't see Justin and Kayla going the distance. Orpheus, in his most obnoxious schoolyard-bully way, was correct. Justin's not the guy for Kayla. I don't think Kayla is the type of gal who craves danger. I think she's perfectly happy with Justin. But her history with Steve is just too deep. She's his muse. I can't see them not reconnecting.

The only reason I'm happy about this proposal is because it meant we got the scene at Adrienne's grave. That guy holding the gun was not Justin. The heartfelt gentlemen at the cemetery was. I adore Justin talking to Adrienne. I'll never turn away a Justin/Sonny scene. This is just how I adore my Wally Kurth. Don't ever change!

Next up on the list was Eli and Lani. They got engaged. They might be having a baby. Kristen's far away, so this kid might actually be born to and raised by the same parents. If this wedding means Shelia would return for a guest spot, I'm all for it! But I am a little surprised these two ended up with a "whoops" pregnancy...again. Do we need to have Abe or Val give them the talk again?

Finally, we got Ericole. In completely superficial praise, Arianne Zucker's styling has been on fire lately. That black jumper and side hairdo? Yes, ma'am. Flawless. Anyway, back on track, these two crazy kids are finally going to get married. I've been an Ericole fan since the beginning. Not only are they each other's first loves, but they're each other's best pairing. This current iteration of them -- where he's not waiting for her to be a better person -- is delightful. Seeing this proposal include a mention of the 20 years they've known each other warmed this Scooper's heart.

I wasn't alone either. Abe, Marlena, Hope, Will, and John were genuinely happy for them! John hugging her and welcoming her to the family was awesome. I think Marlena is tickled that Eric's finally getting a wedding. Can you believe this will be his first on the show? Sami and Brady have at had at least ten by now between them!

Oh, that's right -- Sami! We got a Sami mention! This has to mean she's coming back. I don't think she'd miss her twin's wedding or a chance to spar with Nicole again. All that talk had to mean the Lady Sweeney is going to pop over again, right?

Ultimately, I think these two will make it to "I do" and have a decent shot at lasting. The possibility of Holly growing up calling Eric "daddy" only to learn one day that he caused her biological father's death is too juicy a soap story to pass up.

LOOSE ENDS Orpheus ordered Marlena not to bring the cops to make the exchange. If I were a kidnapper, I'd actually invite the Salem cops because their ineptitude would help make a distraction to escape. Anyway, she brought Steve instead, which was a good move. Apparently, he installed a bug zapper app on Orpheus' phone that electrocutes someone when you Venmo them. That's handy.

I forgot how much I genuinely like Sonny and Will as characters. They're both so much more than their pairing, which is saying a lot, since their pairing is pretty monumental. But I love Will's scenes with Marlena. I adore Sonny's scenes with Justin. These are just two solid dudes, and I like it when they're on-screen. I am rooting for them to have another baby!

I enjoyed Hope and John working together. Hope and Rafe as friends were very nice, too. I'm starting to wonder if Hope is just not pair-off-able anymore. Aiden was the best chance they had after Bo, and I think it's because he was a new character. But pairing her with someone who shared the screen with Bo just makes me realize that dude (enter any name) just isn't Bo.

We said farewell again to Abigail and Chad, marking one of the rare times the kids stayed in Salem while their parents went off-screen. How many ski camps did Will attend growing up? Anyway, Abigail is off to get some much-needed mental health care. Chad is going with her because he's kind of the best. I really related to Abigail saying that she didn't want to say goodbye because she didn't want to have an episode in front of the kids and scare them. I get it. While it's easy to judge her because of course her kids need to say goodbye, it's not that simple. She wants to protect her kids from monsters, even if she's that monster. That part got me. Don't even get me started on her kids giving Abigail their favorite toys to help her while she's sick! All the tears!

I have so many logistical questions about that bomb. First, it was counting down from 39 minutes when we first saw it. How long are the timers on those things? Orpheus had to put it there when he snatched John, went through all last week's storylines, got himself caught -- and there's still time left on it?

Also, Hope raced out with it when there was about 30 seconds left on it and somehow managed to get it into the Dumpster before it blew. Doesn't Marlena live in the penthouse apartment? Does Hope have ninja warrior speed where she can race down dozens of stairs (you know she's wearing heels, too!) and skip across the parking lot in under 30 seconds? Or are the elevators in the building incredibly prompt? I don't understand.

HOT Where do I get my #TeamCiara button? I'm going to need one. First, she rightly called out Lani for being biased and flat-out not a good cop. Second, Ciara made the absolutely great point that when the guy you love is in danger, you do extreme things to save him. Finally, she managed to sashay out of that truth bomb by offering Elani a "Save the Date" and invited them to their wedding -- which Lani was thrilled to receive. This gal is a wizard!

NOT: I love Abe. I love Kate. I thought I'd love Abe working with Kate. But instead, it's turning into him treating her a bit like a child, and I'm not here for a man telling Kate how to behave. That's not to say I agree with how Kate is acting. But Kate's a grown woman and has been this woman for years. Abe knew exactly who she was when he hired her. Him getting out his dad voice and having a "talk" with her is patronizing and a story we did years ago (and much better) with Roman.

LINE OF THE WEEK: Ben: "I know something about crazy. It's not Gabi's problem." Jake: "Fine, sane with homicidal tendencies." Anyone else want Jake and Victor to have drinks together? Think of the one-liners!

RANDOM THOUGHTS David's eyewitness testimony saved tons of lives. Sign this kid up for the force.

Hope carried that bomb like a tea tray. Alice would be proud.

I really appreciated the nod to history when Abe comforted Eric on having to hand over a child he thought was his own.

It was weird for Jack and Gabi to share a scene. I don't remember the two of them interacting that much before.

Rafe in dad mode gave me all the feels.

Who is the D.A. now? Is Melinda still around? If so, I'm sure she would love to get Orpheus on trial. His actions on Mother's Day started a tragic set of dominos that ended in her daughter's death. Her default setting is "pissed," so this would really level her up!

I'm already a little jealous of David for having Gabi as an aunt. She's definitely going to be the kind to get him awesome toys, let him stay up late, and ride roller coasters with him. Something about Gabi leads me to believe she'd spoil her nephew.

Do we know Lani's middle name? I felt like that part was missing from the proposal. Most soap proposals go full name, no?

For the record, I didn't believe Steve would shoot Orpheus, either.

I had to chuckle when Chad promised trips to Florida and referenced the Harry Potter theme park. DAYS can't mention Mickey because it airs on NBC instead of Disney-owned ABC.

If anyone so much as breathes the words "quad wedding" or any variation of multiple weddings, I will lock adorable David back up in that warehouse. Don't make me do it.

Come on, Eric. It's your job to tell Sami. This is not even a question.

Abigail's got a pretty bad revolving exit storyline. She's leaving again because she needs treatment. Sure, her storyline is not as bad as "dead again" Jack. But, it's not as great as Julie and Doug's cruises, or Chloe's offers to star in posh operas across the world. Who else had great repeat excuses to exit?

Laurisa

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