So, what happens now?

Could a breakup and a firing have been the best things ever? Less Rope and Saric? Let's grab some Tylenol and try to get our Salemites moving in the right direction in this week's Two Scoops.

February sweeps did not disappoint, with an epic wedding showdown that fans have been anticipating for months! Let's jump right in!

The Eli/Gabi wedding went down just like I expected. Eli showed up in a snazzy suit. Gabi rocked some seriously great hair. Lani went to the same store that makes those tear-away basketball warm-up pants and had them make nun clothes for her reveal. The style at this wedding was on point, you guys.

But the pretty people couldn't stop the ugliness. DAYS need not worry about those candles burning down the scenery because Julie took care of that. After all, Julie and self-awareness go together like peanut butter and salmon. Anyway, Julie, Lani, and Chabby (because, sure, why not?) got to take their swings at Gabi. And down she went, into a pile of loneliness and criminal charges. But those barrettes and curls, though...

Finally, this secret is out, and we can get to the good stuff -- the fallout and what happens next.

First, we were treated to another Rafe and Gabi scene. Stop me if you've heard this before, but Gabi turned to Rafe and begged him to believe in her. This relationship is one of the most consistent in Salem and gives some weight to Gabi's side of the story. I nodded my head in agreement with Gabi as she ranted about the number of times she's been expected to deal with real tragedies because she's been collateral damage. But I can't defend Gabi in this case. She really should have been watching the show. As Kristin proved, when dealing with the trauma of a death, all you need to do is kill the person you incorrectly blame by throwing them down the stairs, and you'll be fine.

Second, much to my surprise, Eli didn't forgive Lani right away. It's not an easy call, but he's kind of, absolutely, totally right. She's embarrassed him publicly -- twice -- all because she didn't loop him in on the plan. If she thinks he's too weak to be trusted with the truth, what kind of a relationship do they really have? Plus, confiding in her ex instead of him would be a tough pill for anyone to swallow. I couldn't help but watch the whole confrontation scene and wonder why in the world Lani couldn't have done this a year ago. It seems Eli had the same thought. I had a hard time watching Lani play the "you should have trusted our love" card when she wouldn't do it in the first place. Don't get me wrong -- I think they'll ultimately work this out, but I appreciated the acknowledgement that Eli shouldn't just fall right back into Lani's bed.

Next, man, Gabi is still not getting it. I love the "hey, no judgement" conversation between Gabi and Kate, but holy crap, Gabi, stop confessing to people! We need a break from Gabi, so I'm not at all opposed to her spending some time in jail. (Maybe she'll get Ben's old bunk and talk some sense into Will!) But she's not a character who should stay away forever, so I hope she cools it with the gift-wrapping of her conviction.

Finally, yassss, Sonny. While I never doubt that Gabi loves Arianna, she certainly has selective parenting memory. Someone needs to lay into this chick about not thinking about her daughter all the time -- even when it's not convenient for her version of reality. And it's totally fair of Sonny to be furious with Gabi for putting him in the position of having to break this news to Arianna. I'm #TeamSonny all the way in this argument. Arianna's biological parents are both a little short on the brain cells, so thank goodness she has Sonny!

LOOSE ENDS: Despite the wine he arranged to be present when he takes a captive, Kayla wasn't buying any of Stevano's "I have a girlfriend who lives in Canada" stuff. So, Stevano had to confess that he's actually Stefano. The chemistry between Mary Beth Evans and Stephen Nichols is still there, no matter what roles they're playing. Assuming Steve is still in there somewhere, it could be very interesting if both alters fall for the same woman.

I'm enjoying every second of Xander and Victor watching their plot unravel. Paul Telfer and John Aniston are delightful together. At the heart of Victor and Xander's horrible deeds were genuine and deep love for their women.

Between Gabi and Ciara, two women confessed to crimes in front of Rafe. Gabi is one story, but I'm so not here for Rafe giving side-eye to Ciara about harboring fugitives. He, of all corpse-dragging people, should understand the lengths you go to in order to protect the person you love.

I appreciate Will's hesitation to hurt Maggie. But, come on, he just heard that Ari's mom is going to jail. He needs to get out of there. He needs to call up his Aunt Belle and figure out a way for this information to come out. At this point, he's just sitting on this for the sake of plot points so that Brady has enough time to figure out why (probably) Tate is a match for Mickey. And I think we can all agree that when storyline progression depends on Brady being smart enough to figure out anything more complicated than a zipper, we're all in a bad place.

Ciara finally brought up the theory that baby David's father could have killed Jordan. No joke, I cheered in my living room when she said that! Keep digging, Ciara! My money's still on Evan. But perhaps we should also consider the idea that Jordan might not have been David's mother. It's not like we haven't seen a crazy lady steal a baby before. Either way, David is the key to Jordan's murder. I'm sure of that.

One thing we know for sure -- if Eli ever marries again, he's eloping to the justice of the peace's office. He's done with altars. Dude has bad luck when standing at them.

HOT: Dang. Camila Banus and Freddie Smith were 700 shades of amazing in the scene when Sonny confronted Gabi about being a terrible mom. A lot of characters have history, but few are as interesting as Gabi and Sonny. They were never lovers. They were never friends. They were sort of rivals, but not in the Jennifer/Eve way. But it's totally due to the talents of Freddie and Camila that this pair has a gravitas to it. When Sonny and Gabi argue, it's bad but in the best possible way. These two have crafted an intriguing blend of chemistry that is both real and aspirational at the same time.

NOT: Any reader of this column knows that I'm a card-carrying member of the Doug Fan Club. I'm all for giving him a story to talk about his 50th anniversary with DAYS. However, killing off a veteran character off-screen in order to let him reminisce seems hella extreme. Couldn't this whole thing have happened if Jennifer got good news about Bill? Or, you know, they could have reminisced when Doug learned that Julie could have almost died...again.

LINE OF THE WEEK: Julie (to Lani): "I'm not surprised you left the convent. Having a little problem with commitment, are we?" No one delivers an insult -- fake or not -- like Susan Seaforth-Hayes.

RANDOM THOUGHTS: Julie was wretched to Val in the past. Val's the best heart specialist in the world. Yet, Val didn't move for a few minutes when Julie faked her heart attack. That's low-key one of the most baller moves on the show.

I liked how Justin was genuinely sorry for what Rafe was going through with Gabi. As someone who is also related to people who end up on the wrong side of the law, Justin's very qualified to sympathize with Rafe's current plight.

I love that Ari has two dads, so her "One of my best dads" card was cute. But I had to laugh because it reminded me of the time my husband went to our daughter's Fathers' Day party at school. It was a fiesta theme with a photo spot under the banner reading, "Nacho Average Dad"...only the teacher taking the photo cropped out the "Nacho." So, my husband has a photo of him holding our daughter under the big, bold words, "Average Dad."

Err...really? Breaking up with Eli was the hardest thing Lani's ever had to do? That's a very unfortunate writing mistake, considering this character buried a stillborn child.

Everybody drink! Julie mentioned St. Nick and the horrible she-beast who maliciously murdered his holiness in cold blood, stopping him from continuing his life's work of saving orphans from burning buildings.

Xander has a stone pillar plant stand in his bedroom. He's totally Greek, you guys.

"We're in a fulfilling, committed relationship" just doesn't sound like a real ringing endorsement.

Kristin's amazing giraffe print dress is proof that you can never have too many animal prints.

I'm just going to throw this out there -- Summer is still alive, never had cirrhosis, and just showed up to toy with Maggie because Summer is a garbage person.

I had it in my head that Ciara was going to rush in and save Ben on the execution table -- a la '90s Lumi . So, is it bad that I was secretly glad Ben turned himself in just so we could have a chance at that scene again?

My husband walked through the room during one of Will's scenes and remarked, "Wow. They have great hair products and barbers in jail!"

Wait, did Julie just fake a heart attack? I can't believe she would do that.

Laurisa

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