Bad timing

Are Ciara and Ben the victims of bad timing? Should Chloe run for mayor? And, will Rafe's accident bring about a reunion no one wants? Let's grab some friends and chat about it in this week's Two Scoops.

I'm so sorry for this column's tardiness.

One of two things happened to me last weekend -- either I royally ticked off Leo and he put a curse upon me, as well, or I got the worst stomach flu know to humankind. At one point this weekend, I tried to move from the bed to the couch, and even that made me motion sick. Obviously, sitting at a computer screen was not in the cards.

So, this column is late. I'm so sorry. But thanks to some good medicine, I'm back on the mend. And since we're already on the topic of delays, let's get into Salem and talk about Cin and that bad-timing cartel.

There they were, all set to go at it for the first time in Ben's tiny toddler bed (seriously, did Johnny leave that behind?), when duty called Ben off to chase the bad guys. I hope the show explains Ben's P.I. skills a little more. He spent a good chunk of his life changing his identity while on the run from Clyde, so he probably knows what rocks to look under to find people who don't want to be found. Still, I'd like to see more of those skills. Right now, his security credentials consist of a black suit and a hella good menacing bad-guy stare.

Anyway, as soon as their love in the afternoon got put on ice, I knew Ciara was going to get taken hostage. Gabi was so happy to give up the title of "Salem's Most Kidnapped Person," she was there to hand over the title in person.

Thanks to Brady's Dumb Plan, Gabi made her way over to the DiMansion to hang out in the living room that inexplicably still doesn't have bulletproof glass on the windows. Of course, the cartel broke in. But pleasantly, neither Ciara nor Gabi had time for the guy; they immediately talked back to him and hatched a plan. Yes, ladies. Yes.

Side note: before the cartel came, the ladies discussed Ciara's love life, and DAYS totally whiffed on why Gabi should dislike Ben. They went with the standard company line of "he's a psycho" instead of any of the following: A. "He killed my sister" B. "I can't really get on board with giving people with mental illness a pass when other people are genuinely hurt by them" C. "I know what it's like to be duped by a disturbed man who presents himself as sane, and you're going to need a river and a rock if you keep on this road, sister"

Anyway, Ciara gets taken for a road trip to the Salem No-Tell Motel which is definitely not as nice as the palatial Salem Inn, where each room expands into suites as necessary. Ciara is going to be totally fine. As my husband pointed out, "He wouldn't take her there just to kill her. Think of the mess and the evidence!" Fair point. And on the bright side, if Ben rescues Ciara there, they'll actually have an adult-size bed for adult-size people. The cartel really did these kids a favor.

Back at the other side of this plotline, Brady's Dumb Plan is still for Gabi to do all the heavy lifting for him. Brady made a good pitch when telling her that she'll have complete financial freedom and her kid will be set for life. But this whole storyline gives me the willies because Brady is clearly pimping out Gabi. He's one step away from saying, "Sweetheart, why don't you put on something short and go cozy up to my dude over there?" Gross. I would be a lot more accepting of this plot if it was Gabi's idea, and it really could be. She's capable of long-term scheming.

It's perhaps in light of Brady's hand in this whole thing that I feel a giant chill in the Gabi/Stefan chemistry department. The last thing Stefan's second storyline needs is even the slightest shadow of a man sexually exploiting a woman, even if he's not the one doing the exploiting. Also, Brady trying to play chess master feels disingenuous.

Deep down, Brady kind of stinks at being a villain because Brady is a good dude. Sure, he's a Kiriakis, but via Isabella. Isabella was the Lexie (minus the red dress stage) of the Kiriakis team. She's one of the good guys. And the other half of Brady is John "That's a Fact" Black. The guy's better off with one foot, if not both, in the truth.

Eve married Jack and got her "I told you so" moment, which I'm so glad for because we need this storyline to move on. I do love the cartoonish nature Kassie DePaiva and Matt Ashford are bring to these characters. Were they on the same network, I'd be campaigning for Stephen Colbert to cover their wedding for a mini-reboot of The Colbert Report.

Their wedding night? There was a bit of an ick factor there for me. Eve knows Jack would never marry her if he had his memory back. Yet, she seems to be happy as a clam with her plan. Sure, having amnesia doesn't mean you have no agency. Jack's not off the hook here for being a bonehead. It's that Eve is a bit extra (I could end the sentence there) shady for capitalizing on this situation.

Rex's black robe with white trim looks exactly like a maternity robe I had, which took me right out of their scene. It's the most I've enjoyed a Rex/Sarah/Eric scene ever. Man...that was a comfy robe...

Kate presented Victor with a book report she did on "Why I Need a Job at Titan." She also says that she's not after Brady's job, which makes me wonder what -- or who -- she wants at Titan.

No, no, no, no, nooooooo! Rafe can't get shot! Just when we were so close to having both him and Hope realize this relationship is the pits, I worry we're in for some "I could have lost you" nonsense and a ghastly recommitment to Rope love. Gah! No!

Kate was all sorts of Sami in the scene where she was mad that no one told her about Will's brain tumor. Oh, and she wants to know if Will needs anything. But mainly, why didn't anyone tell her?!

In all seriousness, I get that everyone has the right to do with his/her own medical information what they wish. But Will not telling Sami and Lucas is a little whack. He's not going in for a checkup. The dude is heading in for brain surgery, and more than just one or two people know about it. There's an active effort to keep this major procedure from Sami and Lucas. It's not that Will isn't within his rights to do so. I just don't think it's right of Will to do so.

I suspect the call Ted got was his travel agent confirming Ted's seat right next to Aiden Jennings on the underside of the Hope bus. Sigh. No matter how dirty the show makes Ted, it still won't make Rope interesting.

HOT: Chloe's had possession of the Salem brain for a while now, but it was on full display this week when she took Brady to the School of Truth Bombs. First, she rightfully pointed out that Brady jumps from bed to bed. (He does.) Then, she alerted him to the fact that he's trying to mark his territory. (He was.) Finally, she pointed out that Brady is kind of oblivious to the fact that Victor the misogynist isn't just something women can be expected to hand-wave off. (He so is, and oh, they soooo shouldn't.) Sorry, Abe and Jack. I'm writing in Chloe for mayor.

NOT: I'm sorry, did Chloe "Killed an International Drug Lord and Saved Her Rescuers" Lane just wish for a man to walk by and help her put a kite together? No, thank you, writers. Maybe a previous Chloe would have done this. But not this Chloemeister. See "Hot."

LINE OF THE WEEK: Hope: "I'm staying out here, in the field!" This. This is what could fix Hope. She's obviously a character who follows her heart/gut more than logic. That's exactly what we love about her. Yet, that quality gets her in absolute trouble when it comes to her current position. The commissioner needs to be measured, logical, even conservative. But there's a slight latitude granted to field detectives, since spur-of-the-moment reactions are necessary. (See: Eli and Rafe this week) Hope needs to be back out in the field so that this quality can be useful to her, and -- quite frankly -- checked when necessary.

Tripp's suit and Haley's dress were both awesome. That's the best thing about this storyline.

Rex and Will are super related. Rex is his uncle on both sides.

Did Eli come in the front door and really not notice the two guys lying dead right by it? Man, he's extremely qualified to work for the Salem P.D.

There's a missed opportunity for the cartel to look at NuStefan and say something like, "That's not him! I know what he looks like!"

Gabi's been in the mansion. Rafe's been living with Hope. Who's been living in the Hernandez house all this time?

I love the idea of Roman being the best man!

The John/Sonny scene was a nice one! I like it when characters who don't get to interact, interact. This one was especially poignant considering John is Paul's dad and Sonny was pretty horrible to Paul for more than just a minute.

Really, Stefan? Really? You'd feel the same way about avenging your brother's death? Something tells me that's a lie.

Just how long did Ciara sleep in? Chloe and Holly were at the park, kite assembled, etc., when Ciara was waking up. I'm beyond jealous of her.

Agent Smith continues to give me life. I want her to visit other storylines and yell at some other characters for me. "Hey, Sarah, it doesn't matter that you didn't know/forgot that Eric was a photographer. You know who didn't forget? Nicole. And she's on her way back to town now. (*taps watch like Judy Judy*)"

Anyone else notice the walker in Ben's House of Random Stuff?

Will's flashbacks taught me two things: 1. Sonny's hair used to be much better. 2. Chandler Massey does not age.

I wonder if it's weird for Brady to be around Holly, knowing he banished her from Salem, too. There's part of me that wants Brady to end up with either Nicole or Chloe just so this beat could get played out. Let's not forget Holly has mystical powers. She can rain some back magic down on his head if she wants!

For my Game of Thrones fans out there, tell me Greg Vaughan isn't an absolute ringer for Jaime Lannister this season, and I'll set you on fire with my dragon. That hair! That salt and pepper beard! That brooding for a tall, sassy, tough blond?! Swoon.

It's time again for take a friend to Salem day in honor of my bestie, Jamie's, birthday. She's the one who introduced me to DAYS -- one of the many reasons she is the greatest. So, grab a coworker and turn the show on in the lunch room. Start talking about it with your friends at the gym. See if anyone at school secretly watches DAYS, too. You never know who you'll find in the DAYS family!

What are your thoughts on ? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.