I need ooh la la la la

Jack and Eve made it to the altar, err, podium. Tripp and Haley are ready to say, "I do!" at home. Rex and Sarah are eager to wed. Well, Rex is. Sarah, not so much. Anyway, the only thing missing from these weddings was love. And we need love in the afternoon. So, let's get on our Sunday bests and toss some rice in this week's DAYS Two Scoops!

Well. I was going to kick off this week's Two Scoops by singing "Chapel of Love," but crooning, "Goin' to the town square where I have my morning coffee," or "Goin' to the loft where Tripp eats shredded wheat," just didn't have the same ring to it. I miss Saint Luke's at times like these. I also miss couples in love. Ones who we want to see tie the knot. I need some ooh la la la la to root for! In any event, it was wedding mania in Salem last week! Eve and Jack. Tripp and Haley. Even Rex and Sarah are ramping up to say, "I sure do!" and "Sure, I mean, I guess I do..." respectively.

For starters, Jack and Eve's public spectacle wedding in Horton Town Square was just that. It was a campaign stunt through and through, as well as a little twist of the knife from Eve to Jenny Bear. I'm shocked so many people showed up to witness the union of the guy who's been dead three or four times and the town pariah who's now wrapped up in red, white, and blue bunting. Okay. Maybe I get it a little, but I kind of want to wake up back on South Fork, go to the shower, see Patrick Duffy, and realize the past few months have been a nightmare. Is that too much to ask for?

Fortunately, Eve and Jack weren't the draw for most DAYS fans last week. That is, we got a firm reminder of just how amazing Jack and Jennifer are. That Ashford/Reeves chemistry is still kicking, despite what Jack thinks of Jennifer at the moment. I was sold. Loved the ruse. Loved the flashbacks. Loved the comedy. Loved it all. Melissa Reeves just lights up working opposite Matthew Ashford, and it's amazing to watch. I never doubt for a second how much Jennifer loves Jack, nor do I doubt that she'll continue to fight for him.

Of course, Jennifer was left a smidge disappointed by Jack's decision to walk out the door. Raise your hand if you've heard that one before? But I digress. The more the mayoral wannabe protests, the more he seems to be intrigued by Jenny Bear. You know, especially while wedding Eve. D'oh! Those scenes were great and led to a "Will he or won't he!?" cliffhanger. Monday, hurry up! Jack and Jennifer are waiting.

Across town at Saint Luke's. No. At Chez Rouge. No. At Doug's Place. Whoops. Nope. Oh, at the loft. Yep. That's it. Tripp and Haley prepared to wed. I guess for millennials on a budget, marrying at home is a smart economic move, but I'm sure sassy manager Fran would have given Tripp a deal on the loading dock at the caf, or something. Right. I'm burying the lead. They're going through with the wedding sans Haley's feelings for J.J., and Claire's feelings -- right. We don't talk about Claire's feelings, do we, Tripp?

Look, Tripp is doing a nice thing, of course, and there have been some amazing performances, but this storyline has been a giant "wake me up when it's over" cruise down Mediocre Boulevard. The only road trip snack we're promised is shredded wheat. Great.

LOOSE ENDS: In other would-be wedding news, Rex and Sarah continue to be Rex and Sarah. He's still overly eager. She's still settling for this solid Plan N. "N" as in "nice," like the life she suspects to have together. There's that.

So, Will has a brain tumor. It's a small mass on his frontal lobe. While it yielded some great material for Chandler Massey and Freddie Smith to work with, I can't say I'm too eager for another hospital stay storyline. Mar Mar's body impression is still indented in the mattress. Sure, we're likely to continue to see some great character connections as Will's already had plenty of visitors (and I'm sure Julie will rush to see him soon. I kid, I kid), but is that enough? "Wilson" definitely needs a storyline, but I'd rather see characters gather for their wedding and the drama that ensues. You know, a real wedding, where the two people getting married love each other. That would be, as Sarah would say, "Nice."

I'm kind of loving all things Eve and Claire right now. Well. Specifically, Eve and Claire's bond. I'm transfixed on how seamlessly Kassie DePaiva navigates Eve from concerned to shocked to self-centered and back again. She's a marvel. Oh! And Olivia Rose Keegan is just crushing the unstable vibe. She's managing to be outrageous and pitiful at the same time. Plus, in My Little Pyro's defense, this immigration storyline is driving me crazy, too. I get it, girl.

I'm also interested in the long-term ramifications of Claire's inevitable (further) breakdown. She has a lot of family in town, yet none of them (sans J.J. and Kayla) seem to have any sense of how far she's slid down the psycho slide. Part of the payoff better be Marlena and Hope having a scene together with Claire. Though it still makes me sad Martha Madison and Brandon Beemer aren't around to share in this storyline. They are always missed.

Bonus! Claire coming out to Eve kind of gives Eve a better revenge storyline! Eve walked away from Brady. I remember. I watched those scenes. So, this "Jennifer destroyed my life" revenge plot has never made the impact it should have. Now, Eve has a legit target -- Ben! He did kill her daughter, so retaliation against him makes sense.

Speaking of Ben, he's been through the wringer. Eli and, especially, Lani are being tools about letting him see his nephew. I get their concerns, but, supervised, I don't think it's a big deal to let him bond with Baby D. Then, there's the fire. He's in the hot seat again. Ciara's arms must be tired from waving the Ben flag, but I get it. She's in love. She trusts him. And we know he's innocent. So, you go, girl, too. Though she doesn't have to go! Ben invited her to spend the night with him. Yep, ears are still ringing from the collective screams of CIN fans! Alas, we got cliffhanged. Monday. Hurry up!

Baby David is totally cute! The "Who's the daddy!?" game continued last week. There are many options. Judging by Jordan's fright and dodging of the question, I suspect he's still alive and could be a little more on the "bad boy" scale. Then again, she's a bit cray at the moment, so it's hard to tell. If Dr. Dan were alive, I'd totally suspect him. Jordan was in the hospital after the car accident, and we all know how much he loved a woman in a hospital gown. *groan*

If Sonny is handing out gin and tonics, pass one my way. I need a drink to get through all things "Rope." I wish I could say there are things about them I love and I'm upset they're going through such hardships, but I can't. They started out like shredded wheat. A non-threatening breakfast cereal. But now they're just annoyingly stuck in my teeth, and I'm nowhere near a toothbrush. I want better for them both as, while each of them has some valid points, they're both leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

HOT Sometimes several small things can be smoldering, and these random tidbits lit up one big "HOT" bonfire: I'll never not love a Matthew Ashford/Casey Moss scene. They have father/son chemistry to spare. I'm also on the fan bus for all things DePaiva and Keegan! They have pseudo mother/psycho surrogate daughter chemistry to spare, too. The old Ashford/Reeves magic is just, well, magical. There's never enough Jack and Jennifer these days. Never. More, please. Funny Eric is the best! It's so rare to see Eric have -- what's the word -- fun! His, "Oh, my bad!" to Eve was everything. That guy. I kind of loved it. Again, "More, please!"

NOT I agree with Kayla. Steve would be proud of Tripp for helping someone. Sure. Why not. Though hearing Steve is out there somewhere and that somewhere isn't Salem is like waving a red flag in front of a bull. I think cartoon steam even came out of my nostrils as I made that huffing sound. Plus, I believe Steve would, one, use some ISA magic to help Haley, and, two, perhaps slap some stupid out of his son and brother.

LINE(S) OF THE WEEK: LOL EDITION Abe (to Lani and Eli): "...[pause] where did you two get a baby!?"

Rex (to Sarah): "Are you serious? If you called off our engagement tomorrow, your mother would be the D.J. of her own party."

Will (to Sonny): "Leo was stress in tight pants."

Jack (to Jennifer): "Where did you get that teeny-tiny little fireman's outfit?"

RANDOM THOUGHTS Did every DAYS fan just do a collective head slap when Tripp and company decided the hallway was a better place to talk privately? I mean, like, anyone could be listening from behind a doorway, elevator, or stairwell. They are not too sharp, are they?

On the topic of dumb places to talk, why didn't Hope and Rafe go home or to her office? You know. Somewhere private. I'm just saying, if I ever find myself without a home, I'm sleeping in the shrubs in that park and spending days in the square. I'll take notes and then write a tell-all book about Salem secrets. I'll either make bank getting published or blackmail myself into some bling. An hourglass ring for each finger? Maybe. Just maybe.

I shouldn't get as excited as I do to see Justin and Adrienne, but I do! They need to be on-screen more often. Maybe even together next time.

Agent Smith said, "Get this show on the road or else I'm leaving." Agent say what!? You weren't even invited, Laverne.

For the record, Sarah isn't lying about having "second thoughts." I think she's up to about fifteen or twenty thoughts. Shut it down, lady.

Justin said he was a "Universal Minister." That sounds like the name of an '90s rock album.

When Jack said "Loretta," I cheered! "The Cruise of Deception" was one of my favorite DAYS storylines ever. Ever.

Ben said he respected Tripp helping Haley. I enjoyed his sentiment. I'm sure Tripp would, too. Or not.

I'm being selfish. I don't want Marlena to tell Sarah about Eric's feelings, as I don't want it to cause a rift between Mar and Kate. Though, considering all they've been through and everything Kate and Sami have done to one another, I think they'd maintain their friendship. Mimosas for everyone! There's a good chance Mar's already at the pub, waiting.

Place your bets now! Will Rafe end up at the Salem Inn or just hang out in the square a lot?

That makeup fantasy scene between Claire and Haley had to be fun to film for Olivia Rose Keegan and Thia Megia!

Spidey Senses are tingling! I suspect Adrienne isn't really ordained. Just a hunch. Either way, I loved every second of sly Adrienne and Jenny Bear.

If Rafe doesn't think Hope is committed to making their marriage work, he needs to watch Monday's episode. While Ted is overstepping and a bit shady, Gilles Marini turned up the charm to about a fifteen out of ten as Ted talked about all the reasons he loved Hope. I feel like I learned so much about Fancy Face, too! Her breathless, "English, please," was enough of an indicator she got wrapped up. So, if she can say she wants to stay with Rafe after that, they good.

Rex's impatience is a major turnoff.

Marlena's peach and black outfit. Yes? No? Maybe. It felt like spring merged with Johnny Cash. I'm torn.

Not torn, sure you can see her coming a mile away, but I loved Sarah's bright green dress. It was fun!

It was totally cute overload when baby David reached for Abe's fingers! See, even babies adore James Reynolds. He is a national treasure.

Rafe said of baby David, "He's cute, but he sure is fussy." I've literally said the same thing about Rafe before. They should get along fine.

At least Tripp has good taste in wedding movies. Muriel's Wedding is definitely on my list, too. Her sister!? Amazing.

The guy behind J.J. at the rally during Monday's episode was so excited for all things Jack and Eve! I thought he was going to pass out or throw a garment at them. He reminded me of the "double rainbow" guy on YouTube. Calm down, dude. Breathe.

Speaking of extras, bearded guy and redhead lady haven't been spotted in a minute. I think they only manifest during fight scenes. Hmm. Maybe they run an underground Salem fight club, and you know that first rule.

Ben with baby David was adorable, no doubt, but there should have been a comic book-like "think bubble" over the baby's head as Ben talked about Thomas. Something like, "Nice to meet you, too, Uncle Ben, but we just met. You're over-sharing. Dial it down and just tell me how cute I am. And thank you."

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's it for the week of April 15! I'm off to meet up with Laurisa. We're going to see if either of these sham weddings has an open bar. If not, happy hour at Doug's Place it is. And, "That's a fact!"

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans that's it for the week of April 15! I'm off to meet up with Laurisa. We're going to see if either of these shame weddings have an open bar. If not, happy hour at Doug's Place it is. And, "That's a fact!"

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