Sweatin' to the oldies

Is Salem trying to get back in shape after the holidays? Will the mayoral race help? Are they trimming the fat by giving us less Rope and Saric? Let's discuss all the fit tips in this week's Two Scoops.

It's that time of year when resolutions for what you probably should do fades into the background, and you're left with the reality of what you actually need to do. Forget getting down to the weight displayed on your driver's license. You just need to lose the five pounds you gained last month. So, you start off with some more exercise! Salem is doing the same thing -- starting with a race!

The mayoral race is heating up in what looks to be a three-candidate race.

Candidate one is Melinda Trask. She's the ex-D.A. who runs on the platform of burn this place down. She's ready to take a sledgehammer to Salem for its inefficiencies. She's not totally wrong. But the character -- in general -- isn't exactly right. I would love for Melinda to learn from the Anne Milbauer track. Coming in, guns-a-blazing, for a flimsy reason does a character no favors. We need layers to our grouches. And fries. Always fries.

Abe, the incumbent, runs on a platform of peace and understanding...even to a fault. As Melinda rightly pointed out, Hope is a disaster. Yet Abe backs her up. I don't know if it's personal friendship or loyalty to the department, but Honest Abe needs to get real with himself. Other than that, he seems to be doing a good job. Despite having no discernible skills, a lot of people are gainfully employed in Salem. A good economy can go a long way!

Finally, there's Jack -- the independent. I want to root for him because I like Matt Ashford. And an election campaign is a creative way for a character's past to come out. But his candidacy depends on Eve being in control, which can't continue. The longer Eve is able to dupe Jack, the more of an idiot Jack will look like. He's been aloof and irresponsible at times. But, I don't think of him as gullible. At his core, he's one who searches for the truth. In fact, I'm growing less and less fond of seeing Eve in this storyline altogether.

I feel like Eve's served her purpose. She brought Jack back to town. His amnesia is enough of an obstacle for JnJ to overcome. Even though they are high school rivals, Eve and Jen behaving like they're in high school again, fighting over a prom date, really bums me out.

Besides, the brilliance of Kassie DePaiva is that she can inject humanity into a villain character. But pathetically throwing herself at Jack to get back at Jen is not leaving a lot of room for Kassie to work her magic. There's no doubt Jen is the good guy who will -- and should -- win this battle. So, Eve's basically the mustache-twirling villain here, going up against a Care Bear who rescues orphaned penguins in her free time.

Instead, why not have Eve meet Kate again for drinks? Those two share so many common enemies, you'd almost call them friends! Imagine how much Gabi could grow (regress?) if she had two wicked godmothers to learn from! I chuckled when Kate said to Gabi, "Well, lookie here. Salem's latest pariah. Welcome to the club, girl!"

I say that last part with excitement, because I really do like this darker Gabi. Granted, I don't want her keeping innocent children from their families again, but I'm here for her having an edge. I support her going after Stefan. He deserved everything she did to him. He's owed no revenge. I'm glad she told him, too. I'm excited to see what happens when Brandon Barash steps into the role. There's something there!

Speaking of there finally being a speck of light, Rex opened up to Eric about his relationship with Sarah. I'm not down with Rex playing the victim here. But I can see how Sarah would be overly critical. She did jump all over Chloe for less than great reasons. It's just Rex's bad luck that he told Sarah about his indiscretions a bit too early. Had he waited a bit longer, Sarah could absolutely have related to the idea of jumping into bed with someone to validate yourself.

That's exactly what she did with Xander. You know what? I'm not mad at her. She's single. She doesn't owe anyone an explanation. And oh-my-gosh does that ever include Eric!

There's no doubt about the bad blood between Xander and Eric. It goes all the way back to Africa and Serena, through Xander throwing Eric into a furnace, past Xander shooting Eric's mother, and right into Xander blackmailing Nicole into marriage. So, he has every right to hate the dude. But for Eric to ask Sarah how she could be so stupid? Nope. Nuh-uh. Stand down, ex-padre. The love of your life stole your twin sister's baby. So, pipe down on judging other people's bedfellows. Oh, and wait until you get clearance to enter a room there, Johnny Walk-in.

Still, much like Rope, this pairing needs some space. So, I'm all for whatever reason it is. Nicole's return looms large here. Better Eric and Sarah break up as friends before it gets messy. As a bonus, Xander and Sarah were not terrible together! A criminal Kiriakis falling for a Simmons (Maggie's maiden name) girl isn't exactly out of the realm of possibility. Maybe magic will strike twice? I wouldn't mind waiting to see.

LOOSE ENDS:Have you ever tried to explain soaps to a new viewer, and they look at you like you have an extra head? That's pretty much Haley's role on the show right now. I'm getting a kick out of all these characters explaining their past to Haley. A return from the dead, bionic eye, affair with your girlfriend's mom are all standard soap stuff, yet she greets each (justifiably) with a "WTF?" look.

Hey, Eli, welcome to Gabi's storyline. We could have used you about four months ago.

There's a lot of hyperbole with Sarah and "the worst kind of betrayal imaginable." I dunno. Sleeping with your fianc's sister is kind of standard for Salem. The more interesting point to me is why Noelle hates her sister so much that she'd entertain the idea of sleeping with her fianc. I don't think that Rex should be off the hook. But Noelle is high up on the skank scale, and I don't see why Sarah isn't more furious with her instead.

Remember when Abigail and Dario shared a few dances together, and then Abigail thought it was cool to marry the guy so he could get a green card? Yeah, that's totally not the same thing as J.J. and Haley. They sang together, gang. See? Totally different!

Having said that, I don't think this is Haley's only secret. Her initial phone call was along the lines of, "I know what I have to do" -- which just doesn't sound citizenship related. Of course, that could have been just a normal call with Melinda. Something tells me a lot of their sisterly interactions end with ultimatums.

I get the same vibe from Broe as I did with Lumi. I'm becoming fiercely protective of this true friendship. I'm not really willing to muck that up with a romance, least of all with Brady "Love of My LifeMinute" Black.

It took Leo about seven seconds to realize Xander drugged him, which speaks well of Leo's con man skills. This dude is legit.

Making Ted the D.A. would give him a believable reason to interact with Hope. I'm for it, but listen here, DAYS. Last time you paired Hope with a gorgeous lawyer, you royally screwed it up. Don't do it again.

I kind of love Rex with Kate. As far as we know, all of Kate's other kids can claim the moral high ground with her. But this particular apple fell a little closer to the tree. It's a different beat for Lauren Koslow to play out. I like that.

While it's still B.S. that Victor didn't even mention Chelsea's name when it came to the head of Titan, I'm glad that Sonny is supportive of Brady having that job. The Sonny vs. Brady beef never made sense to me.

HOT:I absolutely adore the chemistry between Casey Moss and Matt Ashford. The cornerstone of J.J.'s introduction to Salem was dealing with his father's demons and reconciling them with the version of his dad that he knew, loved, even idolized. So, I'm thrilled for Casey to have this type of material to work through. Matt Ashford is killing it at conveying that Jack sparkle without out the full-on Jack attack. I'll take double the number of their scenes. Please and thank you.

NOT:Apologies now, this is a very self-indulgent "Not." However, an injustice is occurring on DAYS and needs to be fixed. Thanks to the giant Illinois map hanging in Hope's office, we know for sure "Salem" is Salem, Illinois. And I happen to know exactly where that is. It's close to my hometown. I've been in their high school gym for basketball games. It's southern Illinois. And you know what team we root for in southern Illinois? Not the Cubs! Sure, we can make it to Chicago for a weekend. And Chicago is a great city. But, for baseball, it's St. Louis Cardinals nation! The blasphemous nonsense about rooting for the Cubbies needs to end!

LINE OF THE WEEK:Sarah: "Men are creeps!"Xander (who just left paws-a-lot Leo): "Ha! Tell me about it."

RANDOM THOUGHTS: Somewhere in Salem, Seth Burns and Mr. Shin are having invisible drinks in an invisible bar where invisible characters go to laugh about all of the power they have in Salem.

Has that picture of Jack and Jen always been on the mantel, or did Jen dig that up recently?

I'm still ticked that Basic Black isn't a thing anymore.

It just occurred to me that Xander was Nicole's husband when she died. Now that not-dead Xander is back, he could make a case for custody of Holly. I don't think he should. Holly is where she belongs with Parker. But it's an interesting legal argument.

Do my eyes deceive me, or is there still some good on-screen stuff between Nadia Bjorlin and Kyle Lowder?

I'm here for Jack's Matlock jacket.

J.J. has a business card with his home address on it? Those first responders in Salem are dedicated.

The admission he wasn't a rabbit fan knocked Tripp right off Dan Kroll's Christmas card list. You better get on board with the bunny, Mr. Dalton.

With his blue eyes, slicked hair, and a vest, Billy Flynn's Chad was giving me Tommy Shelby vibes. This is not a complaint.

Eve's the only one who can be relieved to hear someone say, "You slept with my son?!" because she thought it was going to be something worse. Ha!

Jen doesn't have Abe's home number?

The Daytime Emmy pre-nominations are out. These are always tricky to comment on because, without knowing who all from DAYS submitted themselves, it's hard to say if anyone was left off or misplaced. The big change this year was in the rules so that actors

can

submit themselves in the "Guest Actor" category for roles they've played in previous years. This change will work out well for DAYS, as Ron has a good habit for bringing back characters for short but important arcs.

Wow. Rafe left the country without telling Gabi?

Abby's fashion game is on point! Her robe game is divine. Her pink coat was fabulous. And with those baggy sweaters, she's actually dressing like someone who is a few weeks postpartum. Yes, girl! Yes!

Nadia Bjorlin tweeted out that she's leaving DAYS. Best of luck to this lovely lady! And, man, I'm going to miss Chloe!

Oh, damn. Vic played the "dying mother" card. Harsh.

Is the door really closed to Tripp becoming a doctor? He wants to be a doctor on a soap. I think almost intentionally poisoning someone can be overlooked. Marlena still has her license, and she literally injected Stefano with drugs. (Not that he didn't have it coming.)

Dumb Rex checked the K mansion and the hospitals for Sarah. But he didn't think to check with Eric? I worry about Rex driving. The gas is the pedal on the right, sweetie. Maybe I should label that for you.

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