Vicious and malicious just de-lovely and delicious

Snarking and savagery and skirmishes, oh my! It was a wonderfully wicked week in Salem that was not for the faint of heart. One schemer won. Some schemers made plans. And other schemers are going into panic mode. Let's get nasty and plot together in this week's DAYS Two Scoops!

Oh, what a wonderfully wicked week in Salem! If you don't like divas, snark, or dirty dealings, it was certainly not the place to be. The wedding alone was so full of zingers that heads continue to spin. I mean, there was so much nastiness that Taylor Swift is still crying in the corner while crooning, "Why you gotta be so mean?"

So, yes! Let's start with those nasty nuptials. For sure. Poor Sonny. Poor Will. Yadda, yadda, yadda. I felt bad for them, of course, but it's a soap. The road to "happily ever after" usually involves a creep or two, and Leo is the crme de la crme of creeps du jour. Greg Rikaart's exuberance for the role is infectious. You can tell he's having a blast living up Leo's victory.

Leo not only got his precious ring but hopes to garner money, power, and respect, too. Money and power, yes. He probably has blackmail access to some fortune now, and he does hold the photos that give him a certain amount of power. Respect? Eh. I think Leo's wish for that is a little Meatloafed, as two out of three ain't bad.

Still, Sonny was left heartbroken and married to Leo and his tall hair full of secrets. I kind of thought Victor would put the kibosh on the wedding, but not so much. Though Justin is working on things. That's, uh, comforting, but someone may want to phone Ted. He kind of out-lawyered Justin earlier in the year and has a more devious streak. Oh, right. Ted's working for the opposition. Whoops.

While I'm sure sooner or later Wilson will wind up back together, the day's victory goes to Leo. For the time being, I'm going to pop some corn, grab some wine, and enjoy watching the hilarity ensue until his downfall. And if you need Leo, he's raiding the Kiriakis wine cellar to celebrate as we speak.

Also heating up the battlegrounds last week were Gabi, "Gabby," and Julie. This is shaping up to be a perfect storm of sassiness. For starters, Camila Banus and Kate Mansi devilishly danced so deliciously with one another during Monday's episode. It started off with a, "Surprise, bitch!" and got cattier from there. So, I'm pretty sure their bestie status has been officially changed on Facebook to "It's complicated."

The Abigail and Julie team-up is also a thing of beauty. Not only is it brilliantly blending generations, but there's a legit beef there. Julie hates herself some Gabi. She might have mentioned that once or twelve million times. While I've always had mixed feelings about Julie's hatred for Gabi, things are legit now. Gabi's gone villain, and Julie is ready to take her down. Like, I can't wait for the throwdown between Julie and Gabi on Monday. Friday Cliffhanger, you win. You win hard.

Back in Baby Land, the fight for the right to Holly is, well, maybe a little less exciting than the other battles brewing. Why doesn't everyone simply share custody. Sure, sure. There'd be a boatload less drama that way, but it would save certain Salemites from looking a bit foolish, fickle, and/or both. Oh, hi, Maggie.

Oh, Maggie. She claimed she never liked the idea of Eric raising Holly and that he and Sarah simply wore her down. Umm. This isn't your kids asking for a cookie before dinner and you finally give them one just to shut them up. This is a child. Maybe if Maggie didn't feel that comfy with the idea, she could have, maybe, told them she needs more time. Instead, she gave the kids a cookie and then slapped it out of their hands before they ate it. Not cool, Mags. Not cool.

Brady, of course, is also in the middle of the fray. Now that he's read the letter given to Chloe, Brady claims that Nicole's last words are being misconstrued by Eric. Let's take a look at them, thanks to Mr. Flashback. Nicole said, "The best thing you can do is promise me you'll look after my daughter."

Brady believes that Nicole was saying, "Eric, the only way to get you out of harm's way is to promise you'll do me a solid and watch my shorty, but really, my letter to Chloe predates this request, and I'm only saying this to get you out of an exploding warehouse." Eric took them as "Nicole wants me to raise Holly." Yep. It could go either way.

On one hand, Eric and Nicole did have plans to raise Holly together before she "died." He has a legit reason to believe Nicole meant what he thinks she said. Then again, Brady isn't all that wrong with his version of the story. Nicole would have said anything to save Eric's life. It's a rather brilliant writing twist on Ron Carlivati's part.

My take is to send Holly to Europe for a couple of months. She'll return a teen and can pick who she wants to live with. Easy peasy Patsy Pease-y. Problem solved.

LOOSE ENDS: Lucas said his goodbyes to Salem. I loved this! Not that he's gone, of course, just that he got to say farewells. So often, characters have non-exits, which are lame. Like, so lame. They "go mail a letter," are "in Chicago on business," or "were blinded by their best friend, tricked into getting a robo-eye manufactured by their enemy, accused of treason, freed, and then set off on a crusade to fix things." Yeah. We'll touch on that later...

But, yes! Lucas got a sweet sendoff filled with family and friends as he sets off on his bittersweet journey to Italy. He even got to put the first namesake bulb on the Horton tree, weeks before Christmas Eve! I've never seen that before. It's not an epic love life happy ending, a dream job somewhere splendid, or a long, luxurious cruise, but putting a bulb on a tree is nice, too. Go, Lucas.

His goodbye with Will was short and sweet, but I thoroughly loved his one with Kate. It was honest. It was full of growth. She apologized for suffocating Lucas. Lucas pointed out that she just loves hard and has always had his back. She does, and she has (Soap Gods help him). It was all a nice nod to their history. In the beginning it was just Kate and Lucas vs. the world. I'm glad they got a special goodbye.

Heck, Lucas' exit even spawned a civil moment between Kate and Chloe. No. Really! It did. Chloe complimented Kate by saying she raised a wonderful son. While swapping recipes might not be in the cards for them, Chloe and Kate at least had a drink together in honor of recovering alcoholic Lucas. Cheers!

But Lucas vowed, "I'll be back. Someday." Good. And bring that little boozer Allie back with you, Lucas. See you soon!

I apologize if I'm bringing this up again, but are we sure-sure Ben is not secretly working with Chad to take down Stefan? I get a vibe there. Spidey Senses tingling and all. I seem to remember a scene a few weeks back between Chad and Ben. Then, the next scene was Ben and Stefan. I know Chad was all, like, "no way" to working with Ben, but Chad's hate for Stefan has proven before to be greater than his hate (or love) for others. Hmm.

Update! Rex has relocated Mimi and Emily from Pennsylvania to Chicago in order to spend more time with the Artist Formerly Known as Baby Bon Bon. Cool. He chose to be a parent. That's big of him.

Though I agree with Kayla that Sarah is a bit too into Eric (though he does look like Greg Vaughan, so can we blame her?). Right. Okay, I could see Sarah someday boiling a bunny or something creepy, but right now, I love the truth bombs she's dropping. It took her a millisecond to call out Sonny's marriage. She said, "Sounds like blackmail to me." And I adore her honest approach to her breakup. "What happened with Rex is that he had a baby with Mimi, and I had a problem with that." Word, girl. Me, too.

Snap! Rafe told Hope that she's "jeopardizing everything in her life." Foreshadowing? Maybe. Just maybe. Still, Rafe agreed to bend the rules with Hope. Again. Great. This kind of storyline ended so well for Safe last time. #noitdidnt

But, no, really. Who did start the fire? Do we still care? I'm not sure at this point, but Ben's constant claims that he didn't and others' constant claims that he did are starting to get a tad tedious. There's suspenseful in a, "Did he? No! Well. Maybe? I don't know!" kind of way, and then there's "Rinse and repeat." We're stuck in the latter cycle.

HOT Raise your hand if you're an accomplished actor who has been on a show for 50 years spanning six decades, has earned tons of praise and awards for the captivating role, is one-half of one of daytime's first ever supercouples, was on the cover of TIME magazine, is an outspoken champion of the genre, is a novelist and, you know, just co-received a Lifetime Achievement Award from the National Academy of Television Arts & Sciences earlier this year. That was a trick. There's only one hand that should be raised, and that's the one belonging to the sensational Susan Seaforth-Hayes.

That cover of TIME is still magical to me. It's a reminder of how remarkable the genre is and how pioneers like Susan worked so hard to put it on the map. When I hear or read about Susan and Bill's ongoing love story, it's a relationship goal. And when I watch the enduring zest that Susan still approaches the role of Julie with, it's motivation to work harder toward goals. Congratulations on fifty years in Salem, Susan! Thank you for being a champion and an inspiration and for sharing your talents with the world.

NOT Remember that "We'll touch on that later" comment above regarding a lame non-exit where a character was "blinded by their best friend, tricked into getting a robo-eye manufactured by their enemy, accused of treason, freed, and then set off on a crusade to fix things?" Yep. That. Oh, no. That happened. On DAYS. The latter part, last week. Steve is freed, but instead of a much-needed "Stayla" reunion and experiencing the ever-loving talents of Stephen Nichols again, we get Kayla crying in the park. While Mary Beth Evans was amazing, Kayla's heartbreak mimics that of Patch Man fans who are totally tilted by this terrible exit. Nice Kayla and Tripp moment, though. There's that nugget.

LINE OF THE WEEK Leo (to Sonny regarding his agreement to their engagement): "What? No, 'Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes!?'"

EXCHANGE OF THE WEEK Victor: "Well! What the hell is going on here!?" Justin: "Uncle Vic, you need to take a seat." Victor: "Is this a wedding?" Adrienne: "What tipped you off?" Victor: "I thought Sonny wanted to be with that twit, Will Horton." Shelia: "I guess, maybe, he traded up." Leo: "Aw, thanks, girl."

RANDOM THOUGHTS Eternal optimist Doug is made of everything win. Not only did I adore his cardigan and tie combo and the way he sings about his wife, but he's hilarious! His Young Frankenstein nod when he told J.J. to "walk this way" was fantastic. That strut made me laugh out loud. You could tell Casey Moss was having a blast with Bill Hayes. Plus, Doug's reaction to Julie accidentally buying pot mistletoe near campus was great. He said, "Now that's festive." Indeed, Doug. Indeed.

And, oh, yes, Doug! That book club meeting was highlarious. It was such a blast I kept in on my DVR until I was forced to part with it when I moved. Boo. But, yay, book club!

The Leo/Shelia combo was amazing. Can we just get them a spinoff with a synthesized '80s-esque theme song to get it all rolling? Victor has to be the cranky next-door neighbor.

Brady says Parker loves his little sister. Um. Is that from all the time they spend together? *head scratch*

As someone who worked in Corporate America for years and suffered through countless trainings, I totally appreciated Shelia's line, "Ohh, an office romance? Man, I spent six hours at HR watching a boring ass video about that. And that's a bona fide no-no." Yes, the point of the training is well-intended, but the delivery is often, well, boring ass.

Ben has that entire "asking someone out in an adorable way" thing down.

Truth. It's weird to hear Ciara call Julie "Grandma," but, I mean, it rolls off the tongue easier than "Maternal half-aunt and step-grandmother." Plus, Jules has been married to Doug longer than Ciara's been alive. Julie's the only "grandma" Ciara has known.

Macdonald Carey's voice is so soothing.

When Julie said that Ben killed three people, I wondered if she included Will in that, or if she meant Serena, Paige, and Wendy. She's not wrong. He did kill three people, yet Julie's lack of acknowledging Will has always been puzzling. Really, Will should be right up her alley. A Horton with baggage. That's like chum for Julie. I'd like her and Will to talk. It would be interesting to see how she could balance her unwavering Nick support to a relative that Nick terrorized.

Leo calling Adrienne "Mother Kiriakis" is everything.

Since Team DAYS is doing all sorts of digital shorts and podcasts, they should start one called "Supper Club with Abe and Marlena." Abe and Mar could try a new Salem eatery each week and bring along a special guest. Maybe they could even do a cooking segment. Just, um, not with Kate.

There was something odd yet fun about seeing the Horton family getting set up for the holidays. It was like a peek behind the curtain. Usually, we see the tree lit up and ready for the personalized ornaments to be hung.

Sarah's excitement to see Will was cute and made me think. One, I had to quickly remember, yep. They are cousins. Two, a DAYS wish for the new year is that we see some of these random relatives meeting and interacting. Kin like Eli and Scotty, Sarah and Melanie, Brandon and Lani, etc.

Theo's call to J.J. was nice but random.

With Sarah back in town, I hope Lisa Trusel returns as Melissa Horton! Even if it's just for a visit. I miss Melissa. What has she been up to? I don't know! Plus, maybe she could give us an update on Nathan Horton or, better yet, bring him along! And that's not just a ploy to swoon over Mark Hapka again. Well. Maybe a little.

Speaking of Nathan, he was a doctor like his Aunt Sarah! I wonder if she'll fight him for the Hortons' heirloom possession. I seem to remember Nate getting Tom's medical bag.

Hold up, Eric Brady. He said, "Living above a pub is really not the ideal for raising kids." Granted it was a fish market until it became a pub in 1992, but, still, Eric. I think Shawn and Caroline would disagree with you. They did a pretty bang-up job raising a family above a market-turned-pub. Remember your roots, Eric.

Julie and Chloe's scenes quickly went from, "Damn, lady! Be nice," to, "Aw, damn. What a nice moment, ladies."

Another nice moment was Doug asking J.J. for a second time, "How are you?" Aw. He cares!

There's something fun about Stefan and Ben addressing each other as "Mr. DiMera" and "Mr. Weston." I guess since few respect them, they respect each other to boost the ego? Then again, Ben is generally a polite dude (when on his meds, of course).

I'm considering defriending Lani. Not only does she continue to bash bowling, but now she's throwing shade at Eli's dcor? That room is great, especially the wallpaper. At least she has good taste in movies and food. She's on friend probation.

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's it for the week of December 17. Next week is a BOGO sale for all you holiday shoppers looking for a deal. That's right. Two Two Scoopers for the price of one! As tradition goes, I'll be teaming up with Laurisa for the next two weeks as we present the Twelfth Annual Golden Donut and Alex North Memorial Awards. With that, I'm off to polish doughnut-shaped statuettes and fetch my not-as-amazing-as-Leo's-was suit from the cleaners. And, "That's a fact!"

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