'Cause you got me, and baby, I got you

Some Salemites got each other. Some Salemites get each other. And some Salemites just don't get it at all. Plus, we get to celebrate a 53rd DAYSiversary! So, let's get together and party like it's 1965 in this week's DAYS Two Scoops, babe!

I always love the beginning of Sweeps this time of year because we get to exclaim, "Happy Anniversary, DAYS!" That's a whopping 53 candles on the cake as of November 8. What an accomplishment! It not only excites me because, without a little Salem in my life, I'd be back to Two Scooping reruns of Joanie Loves Chachi, but I just adore DAYS. The characters, the sets, the sagas, the cast and crew, they all hold such a special place in my TV-loving heart. So, simply congratulations to the amazingly talented team for their hard work and dedication. May there be many, many more years to come. Cheers!

Now, as much as I want to sip Champagne to celebrate and reminisce about 53 years of DAYS and over a decade of Two Scooping with the fabulous Laurisa, I need to stay focused on the task at hand. There's a lot to cover. As mentioned, yes, honey, it's November Sweeps! And DAYS delivered a fast-paced, jam-packed first full week of it.

For starters, he's alive! Oh, right. That could be a general statement on DAYS, as many of the dead have been un-deaded lately. More specifically, E.J.'s alive. The Eej! We have DNA results to prove it, damnit. And they're never, ever wrong in Salem. Nope. Never. What's that? Oh, I'm just crossing my fingers out of habit. I'm not at all a little nervous that the mummy in the morgue isn't really E.J., after all. I mean. That would just be cruel of the writers to change that later. Right?

Sami, of course, was the most excited by this revelation. Maybe tied for "most excited," as Susan was beside herself, too. Either way, they got their Elvis back, and so did we. Sort of. We got the extra crispy mummy version. At least the underside of E.J.'s nose looked okay. There's that. And the test results. So, yeah! Yeah. Yeah?

Okay, all things considered, it's not an unhappy ending. Sami smoothed things over with nearly everyone in Salem. Sami and Susan smoothed things over, too, and will be travel buddies. We have DNA confirmation. There's a room ready for E.J. to recover in Italy. And Sami and E.J. are officially "EJami" again. Those are all happy things, yet I'm not fully content. I do feel that DAYS did it's best with only one half of a supercouple returning and said return only being brief. This needed to be wrapped up officially, and I'm grateful it finally has been. Though I think bittersweet works better than happy for this ending.

One ending we can indisputably call happy is Marlena's hospital stay. Why? Because John and Marlena officially got ambush-style married on Thursday, which was the show's anniversary. It was an intimate, sweet ceremony. And if the hourglass centerpieces at their would-be reception didn't already cement them as the show's premier couple, having them wed on the big 53 and promise to celebrate anniversaries each year certainly did. Icing on the wedding cake? Mar got to end her vows with, "...all the days of our lives." Mazel tov, John and Marlena!

Of course, the "Jarlena" wedding wouldn't have been possible without family, friends, and a wacky con named Hattie. Marlena's "Thank you" to her twinsie was touching. A lot of times in doppelgnger storylines, it's a one-trick pony, but Deidra managed to create humanity for Hattie. She not only saw what she was doing was wrong, but she understood that walking a mile in Marlena's shoes didn't come without discomfort. No matter what, nobody's life is perfect. Hattie would rather have her own life to live than Marlena's well-polished but imperfect one. Growth. I liked it.

And maybe I'm growing soft, but I was also touched by Hattie's speech to Bonnie. Deidre Hall completely captured the spirit of a person longing to be free and seeing the light of dawn on the horizon. It was very uplifting. Judi Evans' reactions were also spot on. Simply the tears in her eyes said, "Dang. This is going to suck but will be worth it." I have the same feeling about the dentist. Anyway. So ends this chapter of Mad Hattie and the Big Bon Bon as they're bouncing back to the big house to ride out their sentences. Yet, I have a hunch we'll see them again sooner rather than later.

From "sooner or later" to "would rather see you later than sooner," Sarah slapped Rex and sent him slinking away. Yep. The female Benjamin Button dumped the alien.

Okay, if we're being real, Rex and Sarah's storyline has been a bit CliffsNotes. We learned: Boy met Girl. Sparks flew. Boy had to bed one, likely more, other gal(s) to "get it out of his system" while wooing Girl. Boy convinced Girl to get serious. Engagement and go!

Yep. There's a lot there with little to work with on-screen, so I can't say that I'm going to sob into a pint of Mediterranean Mint over the demise of "ReRah?" "Sex?" Guh. They didn't even have a smooshed name yet. So, nope. I can't say that I'm overly broken up over their breakup. As is, Rex just sort of looks like a skeevy cheater, and I can't blame Sarah for being furious.

Sidebar: I'm familiar with Kyle Lowder's talents, but is there a place to get a Linsey Godfrey foam finger? She did such an amazing job with the material, I kind of forgot we just re-met Sarah. I'm looking forward to more Godfrey goodness!

Okay, okay. In Rex's defense, he did deduce rather quickly that he's the father of Emily (the cute, chubby-cheeked artist formerly known as Baby Bon Bon), and he came out with it right away. That was a soap first. That was big of him. Cool. Good on you, Rex. Still, I'm planting my flag at Camp Sarah.

If for no other reason, I can easily side with Sarah solely based on Rex's "out of my system" comment. Dude. One, just no. Two. Gross. Three, really, just no. I'm officially putting "I needed to get it out of my system" up there with "You're overreacting" and "Just relax" as the most infuriating retorts to a partner. Bad Rex. Bad, bad dog, err, extraterrestrial, uh, man. That's it.

More so, it sounded like Sarah was perfectly fine casually dating Rex, and he pushed for a commitment before he was ready to commit. Add that into the fact we learned they were having major "take a break" problems so early on, and it's no wonder they broke up. I just get the impression Sarah fell in love with Rex, and Rex fell in love with the idea of love, and Sarah was conveniently pleasant enough. Maybe I'm wrong. We'll see.

What we did see was Chloe blowing things up left and right. She's kind of my hero these days. Lady gets things done. First, El Fideo. Now, Mimi and Bonnie. Let's get this gal over to Stefan's house with a steak knife and call it a trifecta, shall we?

Ultimately, Chloe did the right thing, but a lot of Salemites were hurt in the process. Mostly Lucas. That poor guy. You'd think he'd be better at coping with crippling loss with a side of slight humiliation by now, but, nope. He's a mess. I can't blame him. He's never been able to conventionally raise one of his kids. He though this was his chance. It so wasn't. Sorry, buddy. Maybe next time?

Umm. So. The basic wrap-up of Rex, Mimi, and baby makes three is that he's going to ponder being a papa while she goes back to wherever and raises Emily by herself. Right. Only, there's a lot of flaws there.

Maybe we shouldn't start with this one, but now there's a second Mimi/one of Kate's son's kid out there we're not going to see grow up. Remember Tyler "Pocket" Kiriakis? I'm still miffed that it appears I'll never get my wish of Claire's onetime bestie, Henry, being revealed as Tyler. Anyway, unless Rex wants to accept responsibility and we get to see Emily occasionally being handed to the nanny, I'm not sure what the grand plan was. Shock value? Ensuring the next generation of Salemites? Painting Mimi as an idiot who never learned and Rex as a cad who doesn't know how to work a condom? I'm not sure.

Also, as beautiful as Mimi's monologue to Emily was, it was an odd time to make it. Like, she was literally sitting in the middle of the wreckage of everyone's lives. Maybe wait until you get on the airplane or train, Meems. Anyhow, Mimi got off pretty easy for all the scheming she went along with. Sure, Kate sent some zingers sailing her way, but, at the end of the day, Mimi was partly responsible for a huge mess she's leaving behind for others to clean up with just an, "I'm sorry. Peace out." Can't we send her back into Doug's Place with Kate and Maggie for a minute longer? Or at least until Rex realizes how mad he should be.

Alas, Kate summed it up the best. She said to Mimi, "So. How did you think this was going to turn out, because all of Bonnie's schemes turn out so well." That. Just that.

LOOSE ENDS: Chad recruiting Ben doesn't sound like a bad idea at all. At all. I mean, I can't even think of what could go wrong with that airtight plan. Nor do I think it's a bad idea for a medicated former murderer to be sipping Scotch while still taking his sanity pills. Nah. Nothing to worry about there. It's not like they're the only thing keeping Ben lucid and from going a little chokey again. I mean, he has Black Widow, err, I mean, Ciara to tell him "The suns getting real low," as a way to calm his inner monster. I'm sure Chad thought of all of that. Good plan. Good. Plan.

Next time Chad wants to save his heart's desire from an icky idiot, he may want to try a leather jacket, motorcycle, and a decoy. That had a bit more flair. And a lot less cringy, "Oh, damn, dude. Really?"

Someone better dust off the victory bell at the Salem P.D. headquarters because Hope got one right. She deduced that Tripp was the one who planted the faux evidence to frame Ben. She's not wrong. How about that. Hmm. Let me do a quick tally. If we add that right hunch to the board of cases solved by the Salem Bacon Bigrade -- hold, I need a calculator and an abacus. Okay. That's 13,466 mis-solved or cold cases and one right hunch! You go, po-po. Celebratory snacks for everyone in the interrogation room in five.

But for real, Tripp is the one who framed Ben. Hope suspects this. Claire now knows this. And Ciara knows that Claire lies about things. It's Sweeps. This one has to blow up soon. Will it have a Cinfully fun ending? Maybe. Just maybe. And I'm eager to find out.

I have a soft spot for Paul and Will, but there's just too much writing on the wall for me to ignore. "Wilson" is an endgame, and Paul will end up rolling his broken heart out of Salem. At this point, I just want to call over one of my goons, nod in Paulson's direction, and compassionately command, "End it."

HOT I saw Frances Reid, and I was done. D-O-N-E. Done. I was instantly consumed with warm, fuzzy memories. I cried. I'm not too proud to admit that. Much appreciation to Ron Carlivati and Team DAYS for crafting such a meaningful tribute to end the 53rd Anniversary episode. I mean. Frances' introduction. The flashback from the first episode. Okay. I'm all verklempt again. Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic. An hourglass is neither an hour, nor a glass. Discuss.

NOT I could, but I won't. Instead of a negative, lets focus on the positive this week, and that's continuing to celebrate life in Salem! Be sure to Tweet me or leave a comment below to share your favorite reasons for watching DAYS! Have you always watched? Are you a new viewer? What's your earliest memory? Let's discuss.

LINE OF THE WEEK Victor (to Susan): "I lose brain cells just listening to you."

EXCHANGE(S) OF THE WEEK Sami: "You are a great sister. You really are. And and I do stupid things, trying to push you away. You know, that's what I do. I always do. I push you, I sell you..." CUT TO: A beyond priceless reaction from Martha Madison as Belle Sami: "...is that too soon?"

Will (to Sami): "No. No. You are going to remain perfectly calm, and you're going to work things out." Paul: "I don't think that's what she was going to say." Sami: "Not even close."

RANDOM THOUGHTS In real life, I truly believe hands are for shaking, not smacking, but there was something a little special about Maggie slapping Bonnie and stating, "Come on!" I know Maggie has reasons enough to strike her, but part of me also thinks she did it for everyone in TV Land annoyed by Big Bon Bon. Thank you, Maggie. Just thank you. I'll be sending you some Lemon Bars as a show of gratitude.

If you need another reason to love the cast and crew of DAYS, check out the show's new podcast "Inside Salem." It's great fun and highly recommended! Plus, seriously, follow the cast and crew on Twitter. They're as gracious as they are hilarious.

Though, if the show is going to throw digital bones our way, I suggest they do a few vignettes featuring Hattie and Bonnie back in Statesville. Maybe a cooking segment or two with Hattie at the very least. Come on, DAYS, don't fail me now.

I would also watch an entire hour of just Kate and Abigail throwing snark, as the Koslow/Miller combo is fierce.

Despite character flaws, that old Miller and Flynn magic is still there, too. Continuing kudos!

When Ben said something about Fran not hiring him, my mind jumped to Fran Drescher. Then, of course, I said aloud, "Oh, Mr. Sheffield!" That led me to think about Charles Shaughnessy and how much I miss Shane Donovan. We need more Shane, writers, especially since he's the one trying to free the Patch Man. You know, instead of John helping Shane and that storyline being played out off-screen. Come on, John. You owe your cycloptic bestie a solid.

Susan brought up Roger! I liked him. He was good man. Maybe we can get Susan with a side of Roger next time.

Aww! The magical Martha Madison's performances make me believe in hugs again. Belle's embraces with John, Marlena, and Sami made my heart grow three sizes.

Shawn-D recently mentioned that if only Philip were back, it would be a real Last Blast reunion. Oh. Let's not forget Jan "Coma Queen" Spears. I mean, if he'd like to reunite with one of the many faces of Philip after what he did, a little love cage remembering isn't so bad.

Kate to Rex: "You didn't wear protection, doctor?" Snap. #youtellhimgirl

Speaking of Kate, do you think her being drugged caused her to have an epiphany? Like, she's now walked in her victims' shoes and will be better. Yeah. I didn't think so either, but, as much as I love Kate, it was a smidge poetic to see her get a little of what she's given. Hat tip, Abigail!

But really, whose leg do I have to cling to to make Alison Sweeney stay in Salem forever!? Sami's goodbyes were emotional. I ate up every second. The acting was amazing, but you could also sense that the actors themselves were having a hard time saying goodbye to La Sweeney again. I get it, gang. I was a mess, too.

I wonder if DiMera maid Mary is stuck in the tunnels. Nobody's heard from her in a while. Maybe she'll find Lexie alive down there! Ah, wishful thinking.

Who else swooned a little when Ben playfully asked Claire, "You think my eyes are soulful?"

Is Suzanne Rogers registered as an official national treasure yet? Just checking. She should be.

Club TBD! Ben gave a shout-out to that place, but I still remember when that was the site of the Cheatin' Heart. Now that was a bar.

Speaking of old Salem haunts, whatever happened to Victor's night club Edge of the Square? More so, how about Chez Rouge, Salem Place, and the Java Caf?

Belle said to Sami, "Honey, nobody could ever forget you." So true, 'Tink.

I know some things are in Susan's head, but that talking Marlena Doll was a little Passions-esque for DAYS. You know. The show that had a character possessed by Satan. Right. Never mind.

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's it for the week of November 12. As I have some, let's say, business to attend to in Alamainia, Laurisa will be back the next few weeks to keep November Sweeps thoroughly Two Scooped! And, "That's a fact!"

What are your thoughts on ? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.