It's a question of obsession, so drawn to your own reflection

Claireaholics. Gabliebers. Magicmania. Everyone seems to have an obsession these days! Claire and Ciara with each other. Stefan with Gabigail. Vivian with all things Kiriakis. Sadly, none are obsessed with sanity. Let's shrink these crazy Salemites in this week's DAYS Two Scoops!

I'm trying my best to write Two Scoops this week, but I'm a little distracted. Every time I attempt to focus on a sentence, I get disrupted by Julie. She's doing victory laps around my neighborhood, screaming, "I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!" on a bullhorn. Or at least I think she's using a bullhorn. Lady can get pretty loud sometimes. In any event, Julie and Trask are probably the two most exuberant Salemites right now, as Gabi was found guilty of murdering Andre. Oh, those poor darlings are going to be crushed when the truth comes out, but I don't suspect that'll be happening too soon...

For starters, the biggest obstacle for the truth to come out isn't budging. That is, Dr. Lauragail, Gabigail, and Stefan don't want Abigail to regain control. They're all dead set against it. More so, Gabigail and Stefan are. Dr. Lauragail's been temporarily neutralized by Gabigail, and the real Abigail is trapped inside her own head, desperately trying to make sense of it all. I get that, Abs. So are we.

But! Abs might have help. Andre showed up at the end of Fridays episode -- well, in Abigail's mind, at least. This should be good. Thaao never disappoints, and things got off (and ended) on a creepy note. Monday, I'm waiting for you to get here.

Another obstacle is Marlena. She knows the truth. Eh, some of it. Enough of it to piece things mostly together. But before the truth could be set free, she was bonked over the head and shoved in Gabigail's hidey hole. Let me just say, I kind of love the level of casualness Marlena has at being abducted these days. It happens so often, she basically gave a shrug upon waking up and quipped, "Oh, I know this place. The DiMera tunnels." I knew Mar Mar wouldn't let Gabi steal the title of "Most Abducted Salemite" away from her. Poor Gabs, isn't she suffering enough? But I digress.

This could be one of Marlena's best abductions ever! She could totally do a fashion montage, using all the clothes Gabigail left behind. Have herself a real Pretty Woman moment, you know. But, again, I digress...

I'm not worried about Marlena. She'll be fine. Not only will John poison the hell out of anyone standing in the way of finding her, but Doc is a badass psychiatrist and one seasoned abductee. And she's smarter than Stefan. She's shrinking him well. Yep. He knows what's going on, but I like that she's calling him out on his skeevy brand of obsession. He won't budge, as his ego is too big, but it's nice to watch Doc take the swings at his insanity anyway.

Of course, Stefan isn't that crazy. It was completely healthy of him to tell Gabigail, "My life isn't the same without you." Oh, brother. Stefan was heralded as a corporate shark, a powerful man, a chip off the old block, yadda yadda, but he's simply coming across as a wiener-waving creeper who's preying on a mentally ill woman. I'm not seeing the layers here -- or a guy so commanding and clever he could steal empires. I think Vivian was the brains behind that operation, but her horny Frankenstein creation got away from her. Someone please hand Viv a spray bottle of cold water, thank you.

Also, if someone could hand Gabi a bowl of ice cream with a file in it, that would be appreciated, too. She's back in Statesville. She needs comfort food. Chad, Rafe, Hope, Justin, and pretty much everyone else want to help her. She'll need it. Trask seems to have Judge 90210 eating out of the palm of her hands.

Yet some of that fault lies on the defense, or lack thereof. Not calling any witnesses to testify for Gabi, well, that great move was on Justin. To be fair, though, I get Gabi's utter devastation, but she needs to take a beat before berating Justin. He advised her about taking the stand, and she ultimately chose not to. That wasn't Attorney Dimples' fault. But all is good. They're good. Everyone's working to free Gabi. And I'm working on "Free Gabi!" T-shirts, which will be available at the kiosk beside the FroYo stand in Horton Town Square next week-ish.

Chad's also working hard to figure out what the heck is wrong with Abigail. He thinks Stefan is mind controlling her somehow. He's wrong, but I don't hold it against him for thinking that. Mind control is a DiMera staple. Heck, if Chad looks around the DiMera dungeon long enough, he could probably find John's memories on a disk somewhere, or a remote that will turn Hope into Princess Gina. Billy Flynn is doing a great job of expressing Chad's confusion right now despite the stall tactics needed to be taken to allow the rest of the storyline to play out.

Lastly, I have to gush! Marci Miller is amazing. She's effortlessly navigating Abigail's alters. Marci's even giving each one layers. That's no easy task, as they're all supposed to represent a certain part of her psyche, yet Marci is making them rounded, especially showing Gabigail's vulnerability. Yet it's her portrayal of Abigail that's downright impressive. Abigail's terror and confusion are coming across heartbreakingly so, and that's all due to the divine Ms. Miller. Many, many kudos to her!

LOOSE ENDS: Brady and Eve now have this bet. If Claire wins the Bella contest, Eve has to go out with him. If Ciara wins, Brady will back off for good. Ciara is the current front runner. That means Eve should probably pick out a cocktail dress for her date with Brady.

Also, I'm not sure how I feel about Eve's flip-flop from protg Claire to Ciara. Eve taking Claire under her wings created a lovely connection between the two. To throw that away for a contest seems lame. I know that Eve wants a win, but she kind of loses a bit here, too. Boo.

Speaking of losers, I think we all lose when Ciara and Claire speak. Oh, sorry. Speak to one another, I meant. Sure. That's it. But they don't speak to one another. They take catty jabs and bicker, but not in a fun Vivian/Kate way. Their feud feels forced. Ciara is basically obsessed with Claire, blaming her for moving on with a guy she didn't want to be with at the time and showboating at Hope's wedding. Claire is basically obsessed with herself and firing back at Ciara over everything...

I think we're supposed to believe Claire's, uh, "healthy ego" stems from insecurity (and I'm sure that's true to some extent), but that's falling short at times, but not as short as Ciara's campaign against Claire. Hope broke out the entire "Ciara Alice," told her to "be nice," and said her motives for entering the contest were "truly unkind." Yep. Ciara needs to let things go. Big time. Everyone tells her that. Maybe someday she'll listen. Maybe. And by "maybe," I mean she won't.

Oh, Tripp. He should have stayed out of the contest squabbling. It was sweet that he told Ciara that Claire got his vote, but she got his heart -- and I believe him -- but this isn't going to end well for him. While Tripp and Ciara could be a great couple someday, she's too caught up in childish games to make me want to root for her happiness right now. I still think Tripp would be better of living with Steve and Kayla.

Oh, Lucas. You try. There's that. Why didn't he just growl and say, "Lucas smash!" While I understand his concerns about Miguel's phantom boss (I have them, too), his caveman schtick wasn't endearing. At all. He needs to use his words more. His hotheaded tackling of Miguel came across as the boyfriend or husband the woman attempts to leave in the first fifteen minutes of a Lifetime movie. Lucas is better than that. And Chloe is not as stupid as Lucas is treating her.

Conversely, I do love that Lucas confronted Kate. Based on history, it was smart to follow up on that hunch. And that scene was totally entertaining. Still, Kate claims she's innocent, and Kate doesn't lie, so El Fantasma Jefe de la pera still remains a mystery.

If you're keeping track, Team Hope now consists of Hope, Doug, and Julie. Team Rafe has the rest of Salem in his corner. That includes Justin, as Rafe lawyered up to fight the annulment, and more so, fight for Hope. While more Justin time is always welcome, I'm not sure Rafe's strategy of "no more space" sounds all that healthy, unless Hope has a smothering fetish we don't know about. Then again, Hope did have a smile, of sorts, on her face when Rafe left after their talk, so, who knows. I'm sure they'll reunite eventually, and all of Salem can breathe a sigh of relief. I know I'll sleep better. I mean, they can put me to sleep as a couple, so I'll use their scenes instead of my white noise machine to drift away to dreamland.

Note to self: Never disappoint Kate. Paul did. She shamed him. Hard. And fired him. And then rehired him. He's the best. All is well. And Kate is hilariously brutal.

Yes, and please! I love the idea of Will's first story for the Spectator being his resurrection. Specifically, Adrienne wants him to investigate the miracle drug that brought him back from the brink. Please let it be named Bouncebackotine. Anywho. This story already includes names like Dr. Rolf and Susan. Yes and yes. It came about from a great scene between Adrienne and Will and ended with an even greater Kate and Will scene. Again, yes and yes. Kate has a lead on someone Will could talk to about said drug, and that person is...!? We don't know yet. And if Kate's lead doesn't work out, maybe Will, uh, will stumble upon a very much alive Kristen or E.J., and they can give him the 4-1-1. All in all, yes! I'm in.

I'm enjoying the Louise Sorel/Greg Rikaart combo! She's always amazing, and he's playing the con man with a potential heart of gold close to the cuff. It's intriguing. If he wants to stick around and he plays his cards right, Greg's Leo could follow in the footsteps of greatness, as Bill Hayes's Doug started out con man and ended up one of Salem's leading men. Hmm...

Aside from the fact that Leo is a jerkface right now, couldn't he and Sonny just sign some sort of legal agreement? I'm sure HR has to have something for canoodling coworkers. It's not like they'd be the first pair to hook up at Titan. Heck, Sonny should just go out with the gang from HR or accounting for drinks. They know what's what. More so, he'll learn all about who's doing what with whom. Though props to Sonny for standing his moral high ground. I mean that, too!

This is minor -- not even the point of the storyline -- and may not have annoyed anyone else, but I thought it was a smidge insulting that Sonny and company simply expected Leo should quit his job to be with Sonny. If Sonny's that into Leo, he could resign from his position as CEO. Sure, yes. Leo is playing Sonny. There's that. But the attitude that Leo is "just an assistant" and can "get another job" reeks of elitism. Take away people in "less important jobs than Sonny's" and see how smoothly things run. Spoiler: they won't. A good assistant will keep the wheels spinning while the Sonnys of the world get coffee in the square or day drink while online dating. Anyway. I'm off my former admin assistant soapbox but had to stick up for my peeps.

HOT If DAYS did one of their one-off episodes focusing on Vivian, Victor, and Maggie, I'd watch the entire thing on loop. Loved Vivian's Vivianness. Loved Victor's snark. Loved Maggie's chutzpah. Loved. It. All. You could tell the actors were having a blast with the campiness of it all, and it was a fun, vet-filled oasis in the middle of everything else going on. More, please!

NOT With Carrie in Salem and the warm, nostalgic remembrance of Bella's "Fresh Face" campaign being revisited, I had such high hopes for this storyline. I'm clinging to a remaining shred of hope that it will have a surprise ending, but right now, I'm just trying to decide who's more annoying -- Claire or Ciara. It's not an easy choice. Plus, it missed an opportunity to bring in a third contender, someone like Joy Wesley, who could stir up some legit trouble amongst the young adult set. They need stirring, as Claire vs. Ciara is becoming a little stale and a whole lot maddening. Am I right, Tripp?

LINE(S) OF THE WEEK Kate (to Lucas): "Well, I don't know. If I were a fan of Chloe I would be ashamed of it, too."

Sonny (to Justin, regarding Leo): "He wanted to have his cake and eat it, too, but I'm off carbs, so he's out of luck."

TRUE 'DAT LINE OF THE WEEK Marlena (to Stefan): "What the hell is the matter with you!?"

RANDOM THOUGHTS I think it's time for another Jack visit -- otherworldly, a vision, or even a faux-flashback. I'll settle for anything. They're always welcome and, usually, much needed. J.J. got Dead Dad Time when he needed Jack. Abigail so needs that right now, too. Maybe Matthew Ashford, Mark Valley, and Steve Wilder could all return as Jack, err, Jacks, and each Jack could visit one of Abigail's personalities.

Maybe while Gabi is in prison, Sonny, Will, and Rafe could live together to raise Ari Grace and do a remake of Three Men and a Little Lady.

I'm surprised John's advice to Brady about Eve wasn't to poison her. Yep. Still bitter.

It's official. I want to have breakfast with Maggie and Adrienne, followed by midmorning drinks with Chloe and Eve. Maybe lunch at the pub to see who I'd run into or to help convince the bartender to leave his online lover for Sonny (you're welcome, Sonny). Dinner and making fun of passersby at the square with Vivian and/or Victor. Dessert with Kayla, Steve, Adrienne, and Justin served by Tripp. And then a nightcap with Kate. Could be a perfect Salem day.

I think Claire would totally shop Gabi Chic.

Why would Lucas rent a lake house when he could just use the Horton cabin? Okay. That place doesn't bode well for good things happening. Carry on, Lucas.

I kind of adored that Kate and Will moment.

Justin said, "Of all the gin joints." *sigh* I love Justin.

Thank you, Eve! Next time someone asks me to listen to a story, I'm borrowing, "All right, well, share, and I'll have a glass of red wine to go with the details." Perfect.

I love that Kayla is strong enough to ask for help. While I think she should file Mar's dinner invite in the "Sure. We'll Do That...Sometime" folder, I'm glad she talked to someone about her feelings. Stay strong, Sweetness. Stay strong.

I wonder if the Salem P.D. ever wonder about who really killed Deimos. That ball was sort of dropped, no?

Sometimes when Stefan is acting slimier than normal, I think, "Where is Ben with his bucket of crazy and a necktie?"

Okay. It was pretty funny that Gabigail likes to mess with Dr. Lauragail by hiding her things. Point, Gabigail.

While it is major, I don't think Steve's blindness is really the hardest thing Steve and Kayla have been through.

Claire claims Tripp likes Ciara because Claire said no to him. If that's true, Theo only likes Claire because Ciara said no to him.

Marlena mentioned she could give Abigail a double session, as she had a patient cancel. Um, is that a double, or just one for each personality, and how will she be billed?

Leo stated it was hard out there for a temp. Preach, brother. I've been there.

I thought it was hilarious that Chloe warned Lucas that Julie would be mad at him for making a scene at Doug's Place. Oh, Chloemeister. You've been out of the Salem loop for a while. Doug's Place has more scandalous scenes than lounge acts. No, like, seriously -- when are we going to hear our favorite Salemites sing there!?

Was it just me or was there not a certain amount of Afterschool Special cheesiness when Sonny told Leo, "Sleeping with your assistant is not cool." Like, really. I was waiting for "The More You Know" logo to flash across the screen. Ultimately, Sonny is smart. Poo-pooing where you eat is never a good idea. At all. And now that we know that, let's go have a wholesome glass of milk and smile awkwardly with Sonny. #themoreyouknow

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of April 16! Will Abigail beat her alters? Will Gabi beat her verdict? Will Lucas beat up a guy for asking Chloe for directions to the men's room? Find out next week. Same Two Scoops time, same Two Scoops channel, and, "That's a fact!"

As always, thanks for reading! Tony

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