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A baby bombshell ticks closer to delivery! A murder mystery deepens! A scandalous tryst on the brink of exposure! Yep, setups are happening, which means Sweeps is right around the corner. What will blow up? What's sizzling? What's fizzling? What will simmer until May? Let's discuss in this week's DAYS Two Scoops!

Admittedly, I'm not the biggest sportsball fan. I don't even watch the Super Bowl for the commercials. I might check out the halftime show. Maybe. Okay. I'll YouTube it later. But I've watched a lot of sports-themed movies, and I know Paul Narita was an important baseball player. There's that.

I also know there's that big winning moment when players hoist someone up onto their shoulders -- arms in that triumphant Rocky pose -- and everyone cheers, cries, and carries on. There's Gatorade dumping, too, which just looks wasteful and sticky. Well, anyway. I need a volunteer to help me lift Valerie and Carrie onto my shoulders. They rock. They simply rock. Let's discuss!

Valerie, you just go, girl! I love that she's not leaving things alone and letting Lani get away with hiding the truth about the baby. We'll have to wait to see what she does with the information she's obtained, but I'm cheering Team Val on all the way.

Granted, it's not that I want to see certain Salemites hurt by the reveal. I mean, if ignorance is, in fact, bliss, J.J. is the most adorable blissfully ignorant man in the world right now. Like, the guy needs sandbags attached to his shoelaces, as he's so far gone in baby bliss, he might float away. But...

Big but, actually, if/hopefully when Val exposes the truth, it would be a mercy killing of Lani's poor decision. While I don't believe Lani is malicious, her intentions are a mix of compassion toward J.J. and self-serving. I don't doubt she loves J.J. and wants to protect him. I do believe that. To an extent.

Still, Lani certainly doesn't want to deal with the hot mess things would become if everyone learns of her tryst with Eli and the resulting pregnancy...and all the lies. So, so many lies. The latter is a little cowardly, of course, and I'm beginning to wonder if "compassion" is more of an excuse for cowardly. Hmm.

More so, this baby secret is begging to be delivered early. So many Salemites know already, or strongly suspect. Well, except Eli. He believes every word Lani told him. He's super astute. He should be a detective or something. Eek. But I get Eli's willingness to accept what Lani told him. It makes his life easier, too. But I digress.

Val knows. She's the frontrunner to deliver the news. I suspect Gabi could quickly add things up if given a little more information. I wouldn't count Kayla out for exposing the truth -- she's having a hard time keeping this secret, which I hope Lani feels bad for. Then again, Lani just might do the right thing by herself. Sure. That could happen. Or not. So, yep. Let's go, Team Val!

And while I'm cheering on teams, let's go, Team Carrie, too! She walked into the doors of the Salem PD like a boss and blew apart Hope and Rafe's hypocrisy. It was amazing. If, for once, Hope and Rafe would approach a situation with, "Look, when we did this, it was a bad decision, and we felt horrible..." but they don't. They kind of keep on keeping on. So when Carrie called them out on that, I applauded so hard I nearly spilled my Scotch.

Of course, Hope did try to explain to Carrie that they did what they had to do because Roman was such a great mentor. They did what he taught them to do. Right. That garnered a huge eye roll. Sorry, Commissioner Fancy Face.

Yet, I'm kind of being a hypocrite, too. If Hope and Rafe let Roman slide, I'd probably blast them for covering up a crime...again. It's really a no-win situation. Years later, I'm still not sure what Hope and Rafe can do to make me believe in them again as upholders of the law. Ugh. It's like having a great day, rounding a corner, and running into the ex that broke your heart. Why can't it just go away? In this case, Higley is that ex, as her lasting butchery of Hope continues to linger. I repeat, "Ugh." But, again, I digress...

Christie Clark was great as she balanced concern for Carrie's parents and lawyer badassery! She got Roman and Anna out in, like, two seconds. Boom. She got the job done. Though I think that Carrie won't have to keep defending Anna. The more it looks like she killed Andre, the more I believe she didn't. At all.

Conversely, Rafe had to do some defending of his actions. Yep. Carrie knows about his one-night stand with Sami. Actually, Sami rubbed it in Carrie's face upon returning to Switzerland to pick up Johnny, Allie, and Sydney. So weird. Sami isn't known to carry a grudge. I kid, I kid. That's classic Sami.

More so, Carrie knowing must play a part in the reveal. Why else would it be brought up, other than to prolong the inevitable? Though, in Rafe's defense, he didn't cheat. Calling it cheating is not accurate. He just made a tacky decision. So, while Hope can't claim cheating, she still has plenty to be upset about nonetheless. I know if I broke up with someone -- for one night -- and they jumped into bed with someone, I wouldn't exactly be thrilled, but if that one-day-ex let my kid cover for them, then we'd certainly have 1-800-MAJOR-ISSUES.

LOOSE ENDS: Brady is totally NOT falling for Eve. He's not. Got it? Good. Can someone please tell him that? This storyline is either being played close to the chest by the writers, or it's extremely predictable. That is, Brady thinks he's playing Eve, Eve suspects Brady's playing her, but they'll fall in love...and admit it to each other right around the time a certain someone returns to Salem.

Speaking of telling people something, I'm going to burn the clip of Tony and Philip's fight on the pier, which led to Tony's accidental death, onto a DVD. Can someone then please slide it slowly across the table to Anna, who will hopefully share it with everyone.

Andre's murder mystery spun a bit last week. Anna and Roman were jailed. Hattie became a suspect. Sort of. Vivian and Stefan surely know more than we do about the night of the murder at this point, but they're not sharing it with us yet. So, that leaves us back to guessing, "Whodunnit!?"

I went through a list of suspects a few weeks ago, and Laurisa shared some great theories last week, too, but I'm going to revisit a "person of interest" from my list. That would be Abigail. I know. I know. You might be ready to break out a Roman-like, "Whad 'da hell, Tony!?," but hear me out...

Part of what bonded Abigail and Andre was overcoming mental illness issues. Sort of overcoming, in some parts. I'm not all that convinced that Abigail didn't snap and kill Andre. It's a working theory, but, say, if Andre told Abigail how he used her, or mentioned that he never intended to give her friendship bracelets like Eric gave Jennifer, I could see her possibly searching for the nearest Bic to flick -- or urn to bash, in this case.

Trust me -- I adore the strong, feisty Abs. The one who smacked herself a Ben at the wedding, but the writers keep reminding us of her history. That has me concerned that might be exploited, err, explored as this case goes on. And the part that has me more concerned...

Should Abigail have snapped and now doesn't remember, I worry that Stefan is going to be the one to hold the cards. As in, he knows what she did and will blackmail her into his sleazy bidding. It's just a hunch. A working theory. And I kind of, sort of, hope I'm wrong.

Speaking of mental illness, Paul perfectly pointed out that John's brain has been mixed, mashed, scrambled, erased, and deep-fried. Yep. It has. It's even been put on a disk and redownloaded after a time, maybe two. So, yeah. I can totally buy John going off the deep end. Sort of. Here's what we know...

John seems to feel a pinch guilty for poisoning Patch. He's working with at least one other person. Some guy. He destroyed one vial of pesticide, err, Patchticide. And he's doing what has to be done. Right. Someone is either impersonating John or Steve. I smell a doppelgnger. Wait. Wait. That might be mind control. Either way, something isn't right in Salem, and I'm ready for a little more information.

Which leads to Will and Paul. They're on the case -- together! Original Recipe Wilson will always hold a special place in my DAYS-loving heart, but Will and Paul are packed with chemistry. It feels very natural. I like their interactions. More, please!

As for Wilson, well, Will gave Sonny divorce papers. He needs to sign. I give Sonny credit for holding onto hope. I do. But Will's showing no signs of remembering his former life. He's not even showing signs of caring to remember his former life. Heck, when both Victor and Eve can agree that Sonny should "let it go," maybe it's a sign to sign. That's not saying I completely rule out a potential Wilson reunion someday, but for now, Will and Paul swim, while Sonny...let's say he needs floaties to stay above water while he rediscovers his old Care Bear self.

As such, Brian (dubbed "Hottie McBlue-Eyes" by Laurisa), Former-Bellhop Derek, or even a slightly more mature Henry (Claire's one-time bestie) need to return to the canvas to give Sonny some new options. As it stands, the Sonny/Will/Paul triangle can't go on forever. It's already starting to get a little stale, especially thanks to Sonny's personality shift. This might move things along, and, you know, all the gays don't have to be in one storyline.

HOT I loved the woman power on DAYS last week! From Valerie and Carrie's combined awesomeness to the friendships, to all the funny ladies (Vivian, Kate, Anna, and, OMG, Hattie), I welcomed seeing stronger females back on the canvas! Again, "More, please!"

NOT Oh, Tripp. I hear you, man. The poor guy has been reduced to the dad on a sitcom, yelling at his troublesome kids. He even got to shout, "This is what happens when I go to work!?" Yep. The Ciara and Claire feud is kind of, well, I'll let Tripp take this one, too. He said, "Oh, my God! Enough, already! I just worked a double shift. I am tired. I am starving. I smell like a BLT...you guys really suck, you know that!?" That. Just that. This set seriously needs a new storyline. Pronto!

LINE OF THE WEEK Vivian (eulogy): "Andre DiMera was [a] wonderful...liar. First class snake. And whenever I was around him, he made me look perfectly sane. He will be missed."

TRUE 'DAT LINE(S) OF THE WEEK Victor (to Brady): "Let's not forget you have a tendency to fall for anybody with a pulse and heels."

Carrie (to Hope and Rafe): "Of course you had a choice. Just like you had a choice when she shot Stefano, and you both lied like rugs. I mean, look. Look at the two of you. My father did everything he could for you, and this is how you repay him?"

EXCHANGE(S) OF THE WEEK Rafe: "Vivian didn't get along with anyone." Eli: "I can see why. Twenty seconds after she crashed the DiMera New Year's Eve party, I hated her." Rafe: "Took you twenty seconds? That's actually very tolerant."

Vivian (after she was pinned under Andre's body when the coffin tumbled over): "What is it with me and caskets?" Kate: "Gee. I wonder." Vivian: "I can still feel his cold dead hand on my body." Kate: "Vivian, would you stop the theatrics. You're just as cold and twice as dead." Vivian: "I was assaulted by a corpse!"

Hattie: "You are the tired skank who's shacking up with my Roman!" Anna: "Tired skank!? You creepy clone!"

RANDOM THOUGHTS Andre's funeral was as touching as it was hilarious. Okay. It was more hilarious. And I loved it.

Umm...did Andre live in Tony's shadow? Did he!? I seem to remember Andre being created because Tony wasn't cutting it as Stefano's son, as Tony's sinister side was fairly nonexistent. That and the fact Andre pretty much posed as Tony for the better part of twenty-some years.

Betrayed by your believed baby mama. Poisoned by your pal. Yep. I'm heading over to the Brady Pub now to open a tab for J.J. and the Patch Man. Those guys are going to need a few rounds while singing the blues soon enough. Too bad the Cheatin' Heart wasn't still around. #damnyousonny

I loved that Eve brought up Frankie! He really should return to Salem. He could potentially move Jennifer away from Eric and bring Jennifer and Eve back into each other's orbit. That's a win/win, especially as Melissa Reeves and Kassie DePaiva play off each other brilliantly as sparing partners.

Someone should put Justin and Adrienne's pictures on the side of a milk carton.

Hope's scenes with J.J. and Will make me miss Pre-Higley Hope even more.

Vivian really should feel at home in a mausoleum.

I know that caring for a loved one with a disease can be complexly frustrating at times, but am I the only one who feels that Sonny sometimes amnesia-shames Will?

How flawless is Christie Clark!?

Also flawless, Valerie's red and grey dress. Stunning.

J.J.'s new hairstyle is a little Peter Parker from Spider-Man 3.

The hair. The black and white dress. Eve was made of win last week!

Win, lose, draw... Claire's blazer? It was part Grease Pink Lady, part hipster, and part patterned like a vintage sofa. I'm not so sure about that one...

Also, Anna's red jewelry -- hot or not? I couldn't decide. Necklace, yay! Bracelet? Nah.

Laurisa is so much better at fashion critiques! Though...

I do know that Roman needs to stop shopping at the Backstreet Boys' garage sales. Those oversized, metallic-esque shirts with a shine aren't flattering, as he looks like he's swimming in them. Roman's too awesome for bad fashion! Maybe Gabi can give him a makeover. She kinda needs something to work on at the moment.

I have an odd emotion every time someone says John and Steve are best friends. They're pals. Sure. But I often find myself thinking, "Nope. Steve's best friend forever will be Bo. Sorry, John."

Fun DAYS fact: Dr. Tom Horton was actually a minor league baseball player at one point. See! I know some sportsball facts.

Uh, Hope. Will wasn't around when you and Rafe were engaged.

John's line to Steve that Anna's "off like a rocket" every time someone mentions Tony's name was hilarious.

Am I the only one who momentarily forgot J.J. and Sonny are cousins? They should have more scenes together. J.J. could learn a lot from Sonny about raising a child that isn't biologically his, but loving them just the same.

I want to find a vending machine that has mango chips!

Hmm. I kind of like the idea of Sonny and Eve becoming friends. He could learn a lot from a diva.

When Will asked Hope, "We're related, right?" I totally laughed.

Pasquale, Natalia, Teresa, Carlo... I want to learn more about all these dead DiMeras whose names were in the mausoleum.

I want to be there when Eli hears about the buried alive saga. His "WTF!?" reactions are great. In fact, someone should sit Eli and Will down over some refreshments in the Martin house common room and give them the 4-1-1 on Salem's strangest stories.

Hold up. Someone must be impersonating Kate. Ms. Thang would never leave a martini behind, even if she was just pouring one for her fallen homie, err, hubby.

I wish I had a locker to pop out of like on You Can't Do That on Television, so I could ask, "Hey, Roman! Did you hear John Black's poisoning Patch?" just to hear him reply, "Whad 'da hell!?" then go back into the locker.

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of February 5! Laurisa may (or may not) be back next week, as she's searching for Justin and Adrienne, but one of us will surely be here for all your Two Scooping needs! And, "That's a fact!"

As always, thanks for reading! Tony

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