Givin' him something he can feel

"Safe" sex! Will learns things he oughta know. Sonny's lovin' -- Paul's never gonna get it. Ooh oh ooo oh, Ciara's got a new attitude. Plus, Maggie vs. Eve, Kate vs. Steve, and does Sami have to leave? Yep. There were a lot of random events in Salem last week, so let's discuss it randomly in this week's DAYS Two Scoops!

With Sweeps swept away, I have to say, DAYS did something it rarely did in the past -- provide an entire month of solid storytelling. Usually, it's an epic week followed by a subpar one, and repeat. Nope. Not November Sweeps this year. So I was a little worried going into last week as I thought, "This could be a clunker. Sweeps is over. And I knew where things left off the week before with Sami and Rafe." I was wrong. Last week was good. It flew by, which is a sign it was good. So let's discuss all the randomness randomly...

Hooray for holiday homecomings! Simply seeing Martha Madison and Brandon Beemer arrive as Belle and Shawn-D made me smile. Welcome back, Shelle!

Oh, wait. Belle and Shawn -- you two brought Ciara with you? Ttthhhaaannnkkkssss for that.

When I worked in corporate America, my Cubical Land neighbor was a sassy Barbadian, whom I completely adored. She once said of a coworker she -- let's say -- didn't exactly care for, "She should see a shrink because it's not pretty-pretty up there." That kind of sums up my feelings on Ciara. Yep. She cray. And while she might have left on a low note, she came back as Jan Spears 3.0. I already assume she's figuring out how to construct a "love cage" around Theo's hospital bed.

Just a suggestion for Rafe. He might want to get Hope's pledge of a "fresh start from this moment" in writing, time-stamped, and notarized. I think he'll need that proof when Fancy Face learns about the "Safe" sex...

Rafe and Sami having ex-sex was writing on the wall after the prior Friday's cliffhanger. "I'm shocked!" said no one. Sami stated, "The sex wasn't bad." That's, uh, good for them? They're two consenting adults and, technically, Rafe didn't cheat on Hope. Yeah. I'll go with that, but please excuse me while I wash off the awkwardness of it all.

Still, I don't think that technicality will soften the blow for Hope when she finds out. Yep, that's going to be an ugly reveal, especially after a guilt-ridden, open-mouthed Rafe just sort of stood there with a stunned look on his face as Hope hoisted him up on a pedestal, declared him king of honesty and loyalty, and proposed marriage. He said yes, by the way. Though I think I'll hold off on getting them an engagement gift.

Instead, I now know what to get Hope for Christmas! Let's see. A copy of Jagged Little Pill to play on loop. Several pints of ice cream. Wine. Lots of wine. Oh, oh, and the baseball bat Carrie Underwood wielded in the "Before He Cheats" video. That'll set her up nicely for the squeal to Rope Breaks Up.

While the "Safe" sex was, ugh, I did enjoy Sami and Rafe's openness afterwards. If their friendship had been as charming when they were married, I probably wouldn't have minded them together as much. Now that Rafe accepts Sami -- Saminess and all -- they're in a much better place.

And Sami, um, tried to help Rafe and Hope get the communication ball rolling. There's that. Again, I don't think Hope will look back with gratitude, but...well...there's that nugget.

Speaking of balls rolling and Sami, she made a breakthrough with Lucas! He's willing to get help and went right to the Grand Poobah of Salem A.A. He confessed, "My name is Lucas and I'm an alcoholic, and I really need your help, Aunt Maggie." I hope we get to see Maggie help him through the recovery process, as that would be some more meaty material for Bryan Dattilo and Suzanne Rogers to sink their teeth into.

When so many things about DAYS' history are being awesomely recalled by the writers -- Belle brought up Stan! Will shot E.J.! Jack's book! -- it irks me even more when storylines are revised to accommodate current plot points. Case: Will did not "out" Paul in a malicious way at all, yet several Salemites are making it seem like Will did just that. Will helped Paul come out. There's a difference. As I remember, Will shared his coming out story with Paul and encouraged him to do it himself because a sports star accepting who he is publicly would help other closeted people and help Paul live a better, more honest life himself, as well. It was actually one of the nicer moments between Will and Paul.

Speaking of selective memory, Ciara must have forgotten everything that Claire (and Joey and Theo and Henry and...) have done for her when she declared she's done with "friends who are selfish." Huh. Funny. I recall Claire spearheading the abduction of Chase so that Ciara could get revenge. I also harken back to Claire and the others going to jail for sticking it to Theo's bully. And I totally remember Claire chewing up Wyatt and spitting him out for lying to Ciara as part of Theo's elaborate plan to find a guy for Ciara. Yep. Those damn selfish friends of hers.

Sure, Claire was wrong to take the letter and can be obnoxiously obsessed with social media and attention, but Claire's usually the first one to agree with that.

Tripp's heard the story of his dad, Bo, and Britta Englund. I think it's time for the Patch Man to share it with Ciara and Claire. Ciara might turn it down a notch. Who am I kidding? She'll just try to stab Claire in the eye.

Cheers to Chad for asking Sonny if his desire to get back together with Will was out of guilt! Sonny basically replied he'd wanted to get back together with his husband before Will's death. He even still listens to that voicemail Will left him, professing his love and remorse for cheating. I get Sonny's jubilance over the fact that Will is still alive, but Chad (and Victor) made solid points that Sonny should consider. If/when Will remembers, and they tackle his cheating once and for all, then I can support "Wilson," but that needs to happen first.

Also, when Sonny's strongest argument is that he wants to "see it through to the end," well, pal, you've got trouble. Right there in Salem city. Trouble with a capital "T." That rhymes with "P." And that stands for, "Probably not going to end well." Just a hunch. But good luck, Sonny Boy! You'll need it.

Plus, who's to say once Will remembers his past, he'll want to rebuild a life with Sonny? He won't forget what he's learned since he's been Will again. With that, the googly eyes and once twice thrice-over Will was giving Paul (and that kiss) makes me suspect his head and heart might not know what he wants or who he's supposed to want, but his hormones are pointing him to who he wants now. This could turn out be an interesting triangle, especially now that we've witnessed the chemistry between Chandler Massey and Christopher Sean. There was certainly a little something-something there.

Will said of Paul, "I like this guy. He's definitely not trying to kiss my amnesia and make it better." Ha! I'm glad that Paul, Belle, and Eric did not handle Will with kids gloves on. Will's an adult. He should know about his entire life, not just the Hallmark moments Mar Mar approves of. Heck, Will made the best argument himself when he said, "Apparently, all I've done for decades is Christmas parties and picnics." Again, "Ha!"

Side note, I totally want to be there when Marlena learns that Eric told Will about the, uh, Titan conference room table. Was it too much to divulge? Perhaps a smidge, but it's history and not rewritten history. So, points for accuracy...?

Oh, a rundown of Sonny and Paul's breakup in case you blinked and missed it? Sure. This play-by-play will only take a second. Literally...

Sonny: "I can't allow you to keep hoping. We're done." Cut to: Paul with a stunned, dumbfounded, sad look on his face. Sonny: "This is never going to happen." Cut to: Everyone who's ever seen Sonny "Care Bear" Kiriakis before with stunned, dumbfounded looks on their faces.

No, really, that was it. I've honestly debated on which beverage to get at Starbucks longer than it took Sonny to dump the man he was engaged to. See, Victor, Sonny can be ruthless when needed. But don't worry. Sonny's "so sorry," which seemed to comfort Paul. #noitdidnt

And a contender for the Line of the Year/Hand Gesture Award Combo could be Belle for telling Sami, "No, I mean, listen. You're the one who married into the DiMera family and, quite frankly, you're just like them. No, really, let's go back and look. I mean, uh, how about when you tried to sell a baby on the black market," while pointing at herself when she said, "tried to sell a baby on the black market." Epically hilarious.

Well, we got Belle and Shawn-Douglas back, but it looks like Sami is heading out of town for the holidays. She mentioned she has to get back to Johnny, Allie, and Sydney now that Christmas is coming. I get that. Though I really wish Austin and Carrie could just bring them to Salem! Oh, and we'd get to meet little Austin Jr., who may or may not look like Rafe. See, that would be a win all around. So, stay Sami, we'll send for the kids. They can even fly coach like Madonna. And happy holidays, Sami Gene.

LOOSE ENDS: I'm waiting on the edge of my seat for the inevitable showdown between Steve and Kate. I mean, Stephen Nichols vs. Lauren Koslow!? I can already hear the thunder in the distance rolling in. Yes, please.

While Kate and Kayla scenes come off a bit Cruella de Vil vs. Kimmy Schmidt right now, Kate should not poke that Mama Bear too hard. Kayla is pure sweetness and sunshine, but she is also one tough woman. She's a survivor. Don't underestimate, Kate.

Also, never underestimate Maggie when you mess with her figurines. Oh. Or her family. She was totally fired up by Eve, and I loved ever minute of Maggie and Eve's smackdown. Brilliantly acted, ladies, but don't ask me to pick a side!

I enjoy that Eli is investigating Deimos' murder. He's impartial and not willing to put up with crazy. That'll get him far in Salem life.

Rafe mentioned his mother, Adrianna, was "full of light" while Eduardo was "Full of dark." Yep. Eddie was a bit dark and twisty, but was Adrianna full of light? Was she? She didn't come across that way when we finally met her a few years ago. Maybe all her maladies knocked the light out of her. Though maybe Rafe was a bit nervous around Hope post-Safe sex and all, and confused "light" with "meddling" and "judgmental." I mean, she brought Blanca to Rafe as a "You Can Do Better" gift. That wasn't so delightful. Though, I did grow to like Blanca. There's that.

Roman was a decent cop, but I love Roman as the wise bartender and patriarch. He really does know what's what. His talk with Eric was great! Though I'm eager to see a Will/Roman scene now.

Okay. Sure, Kate. She said she looked "everywhere" for Lucas, but isn't the Horton Town Square (and its benches) on the way to everywhere in Salem these days? While writing this week's Two Scoops, I passed through the square twice going from my home office to the kitchen for coffee refills. I had some ice cream with Ari Grace, too, and told off the mean FroYo dude who wouldn't hire Theo. So, really, Kate. Up your game, woman.

Conversely, remember when the pier used to be the center of the Salem universe?

HOT Sami's scenes with Belle and later Eric were all that and a bag of chips! In addition to the great sibling chemistry between Alison Sweeney, Martha Madison, and Greg Vaughan, those were simply some powerful, well-layered, amazingly acted scenes. There were truth bombs, moments of ugliness, humor, and sentiment. Sami needed to hear those things, for sure. Applause all around!

NOT Wait. Wait. Is DAYS trying to tell us Ciara has changed? My brain's a little foggy. I might have gotten a concussion from that point being bashed over my head all last week.

LINE OF THE WEEK Sami (to Rafe): "Being a good liar can be useful."

EXCHANGE OF THE WEEK Ciara (to Tripp): "Stay out of this. This is between me and her." Claire: "Nope. No! This is between you and you, Ciara."

RANDOM THOUGHTS It's so easy for John to talk about fighting for love when he's come up the winner every time. If Paul wants some real perspective, maybe he should take to Roman or Lucas. Nice pep talk, though, John.

Wowza! Has Marlena ever been that huffy towards Belle? Methinks 'Tink lost her place in Marlena's hierarchy of loved ones to Will. Belle, please see Sami to collect a "You're Not #1!" T-shirt and swag bag.

Tripp's face while Ciara was going off on Claire was pure "Hulk smash!"

One thing! I do agree with Ciara on one thing so far. I miss Bo, too.

I'm pleasantly surprised the new writers remembered the friendship between Chad and Belle! I'm looking forward to them working together. More, please.

When Steve called Kate a barracuda, didn't anyone else sing, "Wouldn't you, Barracuda?"

OMG. Tater Tot is super adorable. And he does exist! I was beginning to think he got Rex-and-Cassied.

Snap. Within five minutes, Hope already broke out "Ciara Alice Brady!" Full names are never a good sign from parents. Run, Ciara. Run! Go back to Hong Kong. I'll help you pack. Nope. No need to thank me.

Eve's "I know, right?" to Eli was everything, as was Victor's sideline commentary later when he stated, "Here we go."

Of course Sami made a "Christmas devil" ornament! Love. Just love.

And, no, Eric. Nope. After Thanksgiving, holiday decorations are fair game. Bring it!

D'oh! Kate really needs to stop apologizing aloud. She has a PhD in scheming, but she's making freshman mistakes.

Eli should be Amnesic Will's wingman to help him get acclimated to Salem. Eli has been a pretty straight shooter so far and won't lie to Will. Plus, they're family who are both still trying to figure out their sprawling family's dynamics. It could work.

Could Lucas see Allie whenever he wanted to? It seems like that wasn't very clear before. At all. And I'm not even drunk like Lucas -- I'm not even as drunk as Lucas.

Yeah, Kate. Dial back the fifth/sixth wheel talk. That's not a draw. I was the seventh wheel at a birthday dinner once, and it was super awkward.

Brady needs a hobby. When he's not pouting about something, he just kind of walks around the living room, looking at the dry bar. Well, I guess that could be considered a hobby, but I think his time would be better spent with his little spud, Tater.

Claire almost hit Ciara with a frying pan. "Do it!" What? Who wrote that!? Must be a typo. Moving on...

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of December 11, 2017. As it's my turn to polish the statuettes for the Golden Donut Awards this year Laurisa will be back next week. And, "That's a fact!"

As always, thanks for reading! Tony

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