The jewels of denial

Love DAYS as we do, we admit that not every storyline can be a sparkling gem. Adrienne may be in denial about her health, others about Abigail's state of mind, and Gabi over her feelings for two men, but there's no denying these storylines are in critical condition. Let's diagnose the issues in this week's DAYS Two Scoops!

I think every DAYS fan can agree on one thing after last week. Adrienne needs to host a reality competition show. That gal can drag out a reveal longer thaaaaaannnnn...well, I'll finish this thought after a word from our sponsors.

After a few weeks of non-decision making and being locked in a room with Justin and Lucas, I think -- think -- Adrienne finally picked Lucas, but I'm not entirely sure. For real. I'm not sure-sure. She should have handed out a rose or something to the winner to make that clear. Though I really thought they'd come out of that room declaring a polyamorous status, but I digress.

Adrienne's relationship status is neither here nor there. She's sick. Very sick, judging by Kayla's reaction. Gulp. This has me worried, and I'm not just talking about Adrienne's health.

The positive: Judi Evans is amazing. Her acting chops are finely sharpened. It's great to see her have some meaty material to sink her teeth into again. Granted, she's generally so fab I'd watch her read a phone book. With that...

This storyline on a whole has me all shades of concerned. It's a twofold reason, really. One, DAYS does not always have the best track record of tackling medical storylines with the tender love and care they deserve. And, two, up until a few months ago, watching DAYS was rather depressing. Like, I needed to watch funny cat compilations on YouTube afterwards. I dread the thought of going back there. I'd run away, too, Adrienne.

Speaking of dreadful, this Abigail situation is out of hand, verging on downright absurd. It's also one of the reasons I'm so concerned about Adrienne's storyline. DAYS can't handle real-world maladies. Abigail has a mental disorder worsened by traumatic events, misdiagnosis of said disorder, and wrongly prescribed medication. So naturally we have Laura and Jennifer attempting to heal Abigail like she's some home and garden DIY project and Abigail as Alf hiding away from the Ochmoneks. Ugh.

The focus should be Abigail's actual recovery and reuniting her with Thomas. It could also include (but not be limited to): journalist Jennifer investigating Shady Hills; Marlena stepping in to help Abigail (hello, Chad is one of Mar's besties); Justin or Belle suing for malpractice; Chad and Thomas having the joy of knowing Abigail's alive. But nope. We have loopy Laura and everyone else who knows Abigail's alive endangering her recovery by keeping her hidden. Sorry, folks, but you're letting the blind man drive the car and wondering why it keeps crashing. They need to get someone in the driver's seat who can actually help Abs.

To be fair, Jennifer isn't helping Abs, either, by keeping her isolated (which I hear is great for people with mental disorders), but Laura's reasons for keeping Abigail's non-death a secret were laughable. Like, she couldn't even keep straight what card she was trying to play. She sounded like Maxwell Smart stating a string of "Would you believe..." excuses until one stuck. It really shows how sick Abigail was that she thought it was a legit idea to be treated by Laura. I feel sorry for her.

Ultimately, Jen and Laura are both enabling her and endangering her long-term health by not getting Abs the help she needs. They're also still keeping her non-death a secret, which is totally horrific and a bit ironic due to their longstanding stances on the DiMera family. In DAYS history, you know who kept allegedly dead people away from their loved ones the most? The DiMeras!* Welcome to the Captivity Club, Laura and Jen!

* Please reference: Marlena, Roman, Marlena, Hope, Marlena, Roman, the entire cast of Gilligan's Melaswen Island, etc., so on and so forth.

At least Jennifer is encouraging her to reveal herself. There's that nugget. But spoiler alert for Laura and Jennifer: even when Abigail claims that now that the pills are out of her system she's fine, she's not! That's like a plastered person screaming, "I'm not drunk!" moments before they projectile vomit in the back seat of a cab. The gal is not mentally healthy. Remember Abs's life before the pills? When she lost it and set Ben on fire? It's not only the pills, Laura. The gal needs more help than your so-called therapy sessions can provide. Get this gal out of the attic, tell the world (or at least her husband) she's alive, and take her to some safe, serene place to heal. Heck, take her to Roman's house! No one knows where he lives, and Marlena can treat her there. Problem solved.

LOOSE ENDS: Since Abigail is obviously still out of her mind, what she says really can't be held against her at this point, but I hope someone she trusts will get her to realize that even if Chad moves on, it's Thomas that's most important. Babies before misters and all. Though, I am really curious as to what way DAYS will play this ultimately. If Abs really is mentally ill, that's sad and understandable. But if she's miraculously cured now that those pills that were so powerful they made her crazy even before she took them are out of her system, then she needs to be with Thomas and woman up as a mother (and general human being). I suspect she really is ill and sympathize, but the show really can't have it both ways.

Of Adrienne's indecision, Sonny snapped, "I'm totally at the end of my rope, woman." One, funny. Two, um, maybe that apple didn't roll far from the tree. How's that push and pull thingy going with Paul, Sonny? Oh, brother.

I have compassion for Brady, but we've seen this storyline so many times before when it comes to him. Oh, that's right! There's a new twist. It's now, "Brokenhearted Brady 7: Baby on Board." Sans the great performances, this storyline is more painful than the punch to the gut Brady gave Philip. Only Phil's pain will eventually pass. I fear we have a few more weeks of bitter Brady's breakdown. Thank the soap gods for Marlena. Maybe she can help.

Fortunately, Hope found help in the slammer, and that help was Hattie Adams! Wow. Didn't think DAYS would go there again. I have a hunch that one of Stefano's doppelgnger Salemites may play a part in Hope getting out of jail. Hattie can surely attest to how far Stefano will go to get what he wants. There's something there, I just can't figure out what yet. Maybe I need to ask Mr. Roman for help.

Oh, and Hope's archenemy in jail is totally TLC's T-Boz! Random, but, yes, please. If Hope's Jailtime Jamboree nemesis had to be someone, at least it's someone fun. I didn't want no scrub for the part. Sorry. So sorry. Moving on...

I'll def take more cute Claire and Uncle Paul times, but her time would be better spent with Aunt Sami if she really wants to know how to scheme to keep her man. I like Claire better when she's a sweet, smart, and sassy defender of her friends (take that, Jade). Jealous Claire just comes off a little wonky, but probably not as wonky as Ciara's Internet date will be. This doesn't sound like a great idea on any level.

Sorry, Theo, but I'm still digging Valerie. Vanessa A. Williams has made a seamless transition into the cast. I'm eager to see more of her in Salem!

The record kind of came to a screeching halt when J.J. and Gabi were at the hotel and he told her about his affair flashback. Good on J.J. for being honest. I was proud. Sure, it was awkward, but he was right to be open about things, all things considered. Gabi might want to try that next regarding her mixed feelings for Chad...

I believe in the beginning neither Chad nor Gabi really saw how close they'd become again. Longtime friends have a casualness about them, a certain comfortableness that sometimes only outsiders see clearly. But that has been pointed out. Gabi and Chad have had "the talk" about their feelings. They've kissed. True, Gabi was single at that moment, but it's apparent those feelings aren't gone like Rex and Cassie. She needs to tell J.J. if she really loves him like she claims. There's no denying that, or her love for two men.

Remember dividing into teams in gym class? It was kind of awful unless you were the person picking or within the first ten or so people selected. Eventually, the herd was whittled down to the people no one really wanted on their team? Yeah. That. I feel like Kate had to select between Eduardo and the kid in a body cast. Their re-pairing was basically a lackluster, "I guess him," while pointing in his general direction. I love Kate. I like Eduardo. But I'll take a hard pass on Katuardo: Part Boo.

HOT Yes! The writers remembered the anniversary of Bo's death. The brief but touching scenes at his gravesite totally were made of win. There's something special about seeing Roman, Kimberly, and Kayla all together. More, please!

NOT Among other absurd aspects of Abigail's resurrection storyline, I can't believe that Laura casually dismissed Abigail's concern over Jennifer's anger at Laura by saying, "She'll get over it," followed by a lighthearted chuckle. Srsly!? I know Laura was attempting to comfort Abs, but, girl, you didn't give the child a cookie after the parents said they can't have sweets. You let a person's mother and loved ones think they were dead. It's not cute. It's not okay. Then again, I guess Jennifer has a long history of forgiving daffy Laura, or should I say, Monica?

LINE OF THE WEEK: Kate (to Eduardo, regarding another interrupted Salem wedding.): "It was kinda lame this time. No pornographic tapes. No semiautomatic weapons. Just one really miserable ex-husband who came running in asking for a second chance."

TRUE 'DAT LINE OF THE WEEK: Philip (to Maggie): "You shatter every known stereotype of stepmothers."

EXHCHANGE OF THE WEEK: Kate: "Then again, maybe we could use the money to erect a giant bronze statue of me in Horton Town Square." Chad: "What, not gold?"

RANDOM THOUGHTS Prior to Adrienne's health crisis, who wants to break it to Rafe that Justin wasn't working that hard on Hope's appeal?

I'm getting Steve and Kayla a "Thank You" card for being a DAYS bright spot if anyone else wants to sign it.

If anyone is keeping track, Dead Bo has sort of had one storyline, and Dead Dr. Dan has had two or three (one of which is still ongoing).

I wish Jen had hugged Gabi one more time at Thanksgiving as I'm pretty sure Julie's head would have exploded after the third one.

Come on, Kimberly and Shane! At least Kayla and Steve talk about Stephanie. You could merely mention Andrew by name. Just once. It won't hurt.

Um, yeah, I totally want to read Hope's prison journals. Maybe she can do a series for the Spectator online, called, "Fancy Face, Scary Place."

Abigail sure has a thing for going out windows.

I'm not sure what I adored more: Kayla's Annie Hall hat or that she went straight for the booze after dealing with Jade. Either way, we deal with Jade in the same way. L'Chaim, Sweetness!

Boo! I wanted more Steve and Adrienne time. It wouldn't have hurt if they brought up Jack, either.

Has anyone noticed the new trend in Salem is glass water bottles?

I kind of feel bad for Shawn-D and Ciara. Rafe is really eating up those four hours of visitation Hope gets in a month.

It was really, um, big of Julie to apologize to Gabi. The way Julie totally didn't take a few digs at people during said apology was also big of her. Way to keep it super classy, Jules. #betterseenthanheard

Sonny should lose the plaid shirts more often. He looked dapper in that white button-down.

Did the orderly that helped Adrienne remind anyone else of Moby?

I love that Deidre Hall seems to be having a ball playing Hattie! The lines are hysterical. I'm not sure which one is my favorite: Hattie calling him "Mr. Roman," referring to Rafe as "stone dumb," or confirming Hope has a friend by saying, "C'mon, Slim, you got me." Ha!

If I'm having a bad day and need a quick chuckle, I'll totally YouTube "Celebrities Read Mean Tweets" clips from Jimmy Kimmel Live!. Justin Bieber read one that said, "dear god give us back 2pac and we'll give you justin Bieber." I kind of feel the same way about Kristen and Laura.

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of December 5. Laurisa will be back next week with a holiday checklist to ensure everyone in Salem is getting ready the right way. And, "That's a fact!"

As always, thanks for reading! Tony

What are your thoughts on ? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.