In the name of love

Love may be the message, but in Salem, it's a bit hard to decipher sometimes. Find out what warm and wicked ways Salemites choose to show their loved ones they care. Yep, it's time to talk about love in this week's DAYS Two Scoops!

The second week of November Sweeps proved love is a battlefield in Salem. Some hearts were broken. Some happy hearts went pitter-patter. And some hearts just didn't know which beat to follow. So, for the happier couples, let's celebrate with Champagne, and for the sorrier lot, let's grab some tequila as we chitchat about all the love games in Salem last week.

To start in a happy place, congratulations to Steve and Kayla! He popped the question. She said, "Yes." It's about time these two crazy kids got their heads on straight. The Salem world needs love, sweet love like "Stayla" right now, and nobody does those heartwarming scenes like Stephen Nichols and Mary Beth Evans. I adore them. And Steve and Kayla will certainly need all their combined supercouple powers to deal with the latest developments in Joey's life...

Unlike, his parents, Patch Jr. is having more of a bad romance these days. Joey's over Jade. He's just not ready to commit to a relationship. I get it, Giuseppe -- I've run away from home, committed crimes, and gotten matching brandings for casual flings, too. Nope. No mixed singles there. Anyways...

Joey's 1-800-Ova-Jade. Aside from not wanting to commit, her constant bombardments of texts annoyed him. You know, I was just saying the other day the only thing I've ever found annoying about Jade is that she texts too much. Really. That's the only thing. Well, maybe one other small thing -- like 90 percent of her actions. Regardless, I always knew Joey was on the dippy end of the learning curve, but I'm glad he's caught up.

Unsurprisingly, Jade might have Jo Jo caught for the next eighteen years. Yep. She claims she's pregnant. Why is that "unsurprising" to me? I kind of called those two brain trusts not knowing how to use a condoms way back when. This is not a shocker. Though, Jade actually being pregnant and/or pregnant with Joey's kid will be. I'm not convinced she is, and I'm not convince Joey is the father if she does, in fact, has a baby on board. In any event, Soap Gods help us all.

In other pregnancy news, Chloe isn't so sure she should tell Nicole the truth about her Easy Bake Ovening "Baby Dancole." Sure, the Chlomeister should tell Nicole the truth. That is the right thing to do. Yep. Yep. She should, but, honestly, I'll roll with whatever Chloe decides at this point. If I were Chloe right now, I wouldn't lend Nicole a quarter to call someone who cares, let alone my womb (if I had one, of course).

I was ticked that Nicole ambushed Chloe with Deimos in the first place. I was even madder when Nicole brushed off Chloe's concern after she said, "Do you hear him threatening me!?" "Him" being Deimos. And, yes, "him" was threating her. But I was downright fuming when Nicole so effortlessly chose Deimos and said, "We're done here," to her alleged best friend who was willing to (and is!) carry a child for her just a few months before. To quote Roman, "Wad' 'da hell, Nicole!?" I'm so over Nicole for the moment, and that breaks my heart a bit, too, Chloe.

Maybe "for the moment" is an understatement. Nicole has been hard to recognize the past few years, but this is a new level. When Nicole had to prove her worth to St. Dr. Dan of Jonas, I cringed. I cringed so hard. She went from hellcat with a heart of gold to Nicole "I'll Jump Through As Many Hoops As My Man Says Until He Deems Me Worthy" Walker. And now she's doing it again with Dirty D. I just don't get it. Just. Don't. Get. It.

Speaking of "dirty," J.J. cheated on Gabi. Not to rub salt in his wound, but, yeah, he kinda does have a pattern of stepping out. He wasn't wrong when he stated that to Jennifer, though I would like to give Jennifer a sympathy hug for having to hear about her son's one-night stand. Nevertheless, J.J. cheated and, inspired by Theresa, told Gabi the truth (and cut to black). We'll have to wait until Monday to see Gabi's reaction, but I'm sort of not mad that J.J. wasn't able to keep his gun holstered. I mean, he's a horndog with no self-control, for sure, but lemme explain...

In the beginning, I found J.J. and Gabi to be fresh and endearing. I liked them a lot. Then, it seemed the old writers (in all their non-glory) couldn't figure out what to do with them, and they popped up sporadically just to remind us they were a thing. They were a something. Then the former writers butchered J.J.'s character to the point where the only reason I liked him was because he was dating Gabi. I had sympathy for J.J.'s loss, but not the way he handled himself.

Anyway. Water under the bridge. Point is, I think Gabi shined while J.J. was saddled with bad dialogue and an outdated grudge, and it made me want better for Gabi. So, I'm not ready to throw the hairdryer in the bathtub because these two didn't work out. J.J. will bounce back -- he always does -- and then he'll bounce on something else. He's very bouncy.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Chad and Gabi played Lets Make a Deal with Thurston and Lovey Howell, well, if Lovey was a charged-up cougar ready to pounce. Those scenes were all just kind of silly and sweet and to showcase what's blossoming between Chad and Gabi. I didn't mind. At all. Billy Flynn and Camila Banus have charming chemistry, and if Billy and Marci Miller (a big hello and welcome to you!) have the same, this might be a triangle I'm actually looking forward to.

And about Undead Abby! Well. Piecing things together, Abs reached out to Andre, asking him to help fake her death so that Chad and Thomas didn't have to deal with her crazy. That's simplifying, I think. But, sure, it's always good to adhere to the wishes of a mentally unstable woman. Another good deed done by Andre. But -- BUT -- Andre wasn't working alone. Drumroll please....

The other big twist is Laura Horton is working with him to cover up Abigail's nondemise. In fact, Laura had Abigail with her this entire time. Um, okay, but here's a few things...

One, that's cold, Granny. Of course, Jennifer will be beyond thrilled to have Abigail back, but having your own mother help cover up the apparent death of your child is about as heartless as heartless gets. In addition to the gut-wrenching, life-altering aspect of losing a child, Jenny Bear could have easily fallen off the wagon. Oh, wait! Jennifer did. Great job, Laura.

Two, there's no way Laura can play the entire "I was trying to help" card. No. Way. As a shrink, no less, Laura should have been helping Abs make a healthy decision, not enabling her mental disease or playing watchdog for a psychopath (Andre not Abby).

Three, I know Laura has her own sanity issues, but she's even crazier than I thought if she thinks helping Andre was a noble idea in any way, shape, or form. She was ready to burn Chad at the stake ,and he's the runner-up of the Nicest DiMera in Town Pageant and will take the crown should Theo not be able to uphold his duties. For her -- a crusader against everything DiMera -- to help Andre is all shades of crazy wrapped in an insane dress.

And finally, four, please! Oh, Soap Gods, please let me be there when Kate finds out what Laura has done. After the years of smack that Laura has laid on Kate, it would be grand to watch Kate verbally slap the stuffing out of this hypocritical turkey.

LOOSE ENDS: Never doubt Theo. Lesson learned. He thought Valerie was shady, and as it turns out, she lied to someone "at home." Val said she's in New York City. Spoiler: she's in Salem. I'm a Valerie fan so far, so I'm certainly curious as to what she's up to (besides agreeing to dinner with Abe *squeal*).

Hope is still in a pickle. She met with Andre again. They went over the same things they did the past few weeks. Hope got some visits from loved ones, which I loved (Hey, Mar!). Yeah, there's a pin in this storyline I'm hoping unpins next week. I'm ready for this one to be wrapped up, even though the performances are so solid. The more we can do to quickly erase Salem Early 2016, the better.

Speaking of spinning wheels, Sonny and Paul had some more awkward encounters, and Gabi attempted to play matchmaker...again. Give that gal an A for effort, but someone wake me when something happens, mmm'k?

Full disclosure: Derrick is the most interesting aspect of Sonny and Paul's storyline right now. I want Paul to pick him at this point. And maybe Sonny will meet a nice guy down by the docks. It worked for Marlena once, just ask Roman; well, it was John thinking he was Roman...nevertheless, John and Mar are still together, so maybe Sonny can meet someone else, or perhaps a not-so-dead Will will pop up in a pink jumpsuit and jacket.

HOT What's that you hear? It's a thunderous standing ovation for Jen Lilley! Though Theresa's exit storyline is a little suspect, Jen is shining brighter than ever. "Amazing" might not be a strong enough word for her inspired performances last week. If there's any justice in the world, this gifted gal will get a new best friend, and that bestie's name will be Emmy.

NOT Sans amazing performances by all involved, Theresa's exit storyline is not giving me much hope. The bad guy's winning. We've had enough of that lately. And who is this bad guy? We know he's a drug lord and spouted some sexist barbarian talk about dragging Theresa back to cave with him. Okay. Sure, but I refuse to believe the combined forces of Victor, Shane, and Steve can't come up with something other than Theresa Harry and the Hendersonsing Brady. It's not like they don't have other avenues to explore...

You know John, Paul, and Marlena are always ready for a fight. Roman has little to do. Assassin Eddie will go to the opening of an envelope if invited. Deimos is all about the family lately. Hell, perhaps even Andre would help if he was asked nicely. Or, well, call Kate or Vivian -- something tells me one of those formidable femme fatales could get the job done effectively and in half the time. See, so many options, so little sense.

LINE OF THE WEEK: Valerie (to Kayla, regarding Salem being less hectic than DC): "Right. You say Salem, and unbidden, the word 'serene' pops into mind. This whole town was under siege. People were blowing up electrical plants. You were trapped in a coffin on Halloween. Need I say more?"

RANDOM THOUGHTS When Jade said something to Claire about Claire's grandparents meeting as teenagers, my first thought was, "No, they didn't! John and Marlena met much later. [long pause] Oh, right. Bo and Hope."

I'll never not be happy to see Kimberly and Shane.

Chloe and Philip scenes make me happy, too! It's amazing how much the chemistry between Nadia Bjorlin and John-Paul Lavoisier comes off so effortlessly as "Yes, we Last Blasted together!"

Snap, Harold! With Vicki around, he has some competition for Chad.

What's the status on the Hortons getting a new couch?

I won't lie. I wanted to be invited to J.J.'s welcome home party. It looked fun. And there were doughnuts.

I adored the Claire and Joey time, especially when Claire said, "Anything for the cuz." More so, I'm happy to see smart Claire back. Her advice to be honest was on point. Hat tip, Claire Bear.

Theresa to J.J.: "Wait. Didn't you just get shot?" was kind of unintentionally hilarious.

Speaking of, though I hate Theresa's exit storyline (so far), it was a nice nod that Theresa and J.J. got a random scene as Jen Lilley runs her victory laps around Salem.

Just throwing this out there, but where exactly was Jade when J.J. was in Miami. Hmm!

When Joey told Jade, "That means I talk and you listen," did anyone else question if he was really trying to get through to her, or just reminding himself of the sequential order of a conversation.

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of November 14. I'm off to Bollywood to beg Vivian to return to Salem, so Laurisa will be back the next few weeks to rein in the rest of November Sweeps! And, "That's a fact!"

As always, thanks for reading! Tony

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