Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues

While the crazy train has left the station, one could say it also missed the boat. Did Abigail's departure live up to all the hype? Slip on your straitjacket and find out that answer and more in this week's wacky DAYS Two Scoops!

Well, there you have it. That's how Kate Mansi's Abigail leaves Salem. She went out the window in a hospital gown and therapeutic Marilyn Monroe-esque evening gloves. Ring-a-ding-ding. Where do we begin with this one...

First, I'm disappointed that Abs didn't use a water fountain to smash through a window at Shady Hills laOne Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Maybe a nice Theremin score with a Native American backbeat playing, Bible Guy and Chase cheering her on. But nope, she just went out the window after hiding under her incompetent doctor's desk. Drats.

But before I conjure up more a of a snarknado for this storyline, let's look at what was utterly amazing about it. Hands down, the saving grace has been the inspired performances of Kate Mansi, Rob Wilson, and Billy Flynn. They've been a magical threesome and created many memorable DAYS scenes. Heck, even the smaller aspects like Rob's delivery of lines such as a simple "Hi, Abigail," or "Hello, kitten. I missed you," will continue to haunt my dreams for months to come.

The writers also tried to give Abigail some farewell scenes. I appreciated that Abs and J.J. got some screen time together. Casey Moss and Kate have a charming sibling vibe. The same charming vibes ring true of Melissa Reeves and Kate, too, though, you know, in a mother/daughter way. And Billy and Kate got one last (albeit brief) tender scene together as Abigail dreamed of returning home to Chad and Thomas. Other than that, this storyline went out the window, as it were, a long time ago.

As far as exits go, this one has been doing laps for months. We got it, writers: Abigail's unhinged, In-Her-Head Ben taunts her, Chad is a heartbroken mess, and the doctor is always too busy to help. Yep, we so got that. Roger and out.

It also doesn't help that DAYS tapes so far in advance. Knowing of Kate Mansi's exit for so long is like knowing the end of a movie before you even see the first trailer. It was hard to get invested at times, especially when a lot of Abigail's scenes in the hospital were largely rinse and repeat.

A powerful exit for Abigail would have been when she left for the sanitarium months ago. Kate's illuminating yet gut-wrenching performance during those scenes was powerful enough to say everything that needed to be said about Abigail's state. It would have been a great high note to send her off on. Instead, it was months of the same scenes at Shady Hills with little character or storyline development. Great acting, no doubt, but the lack of new material was hardly pulling in the ratings.

Additionally, we didn't really see Abigail go through intensive therapy. Um, well, much therapy for that matter. Instead, we saw her doctor give her sedatives or leave her because of one emergency or another while Abs lay in a bed, chatting with In-Her-Head Ben. Again, great acting, but the "Been There, Done That" factor was through the roof.

Another point of conflict I have with this storyline is the misuse of guest star Anne-Marie Johnson as Dr. Robinson. She's a great actor, and I've been a fan for years. With that, they never gave her much to work with other than the rinse and repeat dialogue they handed to everyone else. Plus, as mentioned, Doc Robinson would always leave Abigail to tend to emergencies. You know. Those emergencies "more important" than the woman who tried to set a man and most, recently, herself on fire. Ugh.

In the end, Abigail's farewell should have been when she left the mansion. If DAYS really, really felt like they needed to follow up on Abigail, they should have waited a few months then done one of their fancy new one-off episodes bringing this storyline to a conclusion. An intense hour of Abigail sitting through therapy with snippet scenes of her interactions with Ben, Chad, J.J., Jennifer, and Jack woven through would have been more powerful -- and bearable -- than months of the same scenes every other week. Sometimes the minimalist approach of "less is more" rings so very true.

LOOSE ENDS: No one can ever accuse Deimos of not reading The Notebook. He's got a Gosling level of lines to use on the ladies. I'm just disappointed our typically smart ladies of Salem are falling for his schmaltz. I mean, really, what's to like about a handsome, rich Greek guy with a tragic backstory who will tell you what you want to hear? Come on, Chloe.

In related news, Kool-Aid came out with a new flavor called Deimos.

It was great to see Shawn-D open up about Abigail. It's also sad that I have to celebrate that. Still, on a show where Hope is barely recognized as Claire's grandmother and Victor disowns his kin day after day, I have to praise any and all remembered family connections.

More so, I can't get enough of Shawn, Belle, and Claire. Their scenes were warm and fuzzy. And DAYS needs warm and fuzzy right now.

He may not be warm or fuzzy, but Thaao Penghlis's Andre is just a dirty, rotten scoundrel I kind of adore. Thaao's the best. Andre's lines are hilarious. And his best accessory is Chad. Those two are made of win. More, please.

Re: Andre...I suspect he may have had something to do with Chase's attack. Getting Chase into a hospital and out of prison seems like something Andre could hold over Aiden's head. Anyways...

We definitely know that Andre had something to do with Monahan showing up to confess he murdered Stefano. Or, as he put it, "I wasted Stefano DiMera." Liar, liar, pants on fire, Monahan. My first thought: "Oh, great. Kate's going to fall for this one, too." My second, this will be the downfall of Aiden if the truth comes out. Secret spoiler alert: I kind of want the truth to come out...

As much as I enjoyed "Haiden's" first go at it, the glitter is just a bit dull and rusted this time around. The writers threw the character under the bus before and have done little to redeem him since. Sure, sure. He was held captive. There's that. But if you're living in Salem, that's a crowded club, so get in line to sing 'dem blues, buddy, and leave Hope alone.

Speaking of which, I'll be much happier if Hope is playing Aiden as he's lying to her. That will save Fancy Face a lot of, well, face and make things juicier. I can get behind Aiden being a "gray" character, but I won't stand for Hope looking like a chump if she can't smell his shadiness after all she's been through.

Paul becoming John's Private Investigator Padawan!? YES! Please, oh, please let's have his first case be to find Kristen DiMera. That would be two wins in one.

Ab-so-lutely! Dario is the best person to run a club. He's like a walking, talking party wherever he goes. Too bad it's always a pity party and he's the guest of honor. I just can't with this guy most of the time. I was nice to see that, by the end of the week, he lightened up to the idea of running the club. More so, I lightened up because Dario brought up "old Dario" working at the Cheatin' Heart. Now there was a bar. #RIPCheatinHeart

Though if Fast Eddie wanted to suck up to someone who could run a night club -- which, let's finally be honest after several years: it's a coffee shop with booze -- I suggest he give Eve a call. She can run the joint and be the entertainment because, in my head, she's been having that vocal cord surgery while she's been away. That. Let's go with that. And I'm sure Eve wouldn't mind Dario behind the bar. Something tells me they could sizzle together.

HOT

While wishing Kate Mansi and Rob Wilson the best of luck as they continue their careers and thanking them sincerely from bottom of my DAYS-loving heart for their mind-blowing performances over their tenure, I can't complete this HOT without congratulating Deidre Hall on 40 fabulous years in Salem! Let's all raise a glass of something sparkly to Kate, Rob, and Dee. Congratulations to three talented, lovely souls!

NOT Dear. Lord. Can Victor find some new material? John Aniston can read the phone book and make it enthrallingly hilarious, but I feel sorry for him that he's stuck in same-script misogynistic hell when it comes to all female characters who aren't Maggie. The shock-value's kind of worn off this cantankerous tycoon's vocab when it comes to women he doesn't like. Let's see what other snarky jabs this guy can come up with that don't involve outdated, playground insults. I know Vic has it in him to do better at being mean!

LINE OF THE WEEK: Theo (to Ciara): "I'm too nice of a guy. I'm the first one in my family to have that problem."

TRUE 'DAT LINE OF THE WEEK: Chloe (to Deimos): "Victor was a pussycat compared to Kate, Philip's mother. She was lethal. Literally."

EXCHANGE OF THE WEEK: Abigail: "Do you like torturing me?" Ben: "It passes the time."

RANDOM THOUGHTS Shawn brought up the Brady-Horton Fourth of July picnic. Yes, please! Let's make that happen again.

"Fish gotta eat," was Kate's reply to Deimos's death via drowning. I guess it's time to update Kate's rsum to include "humanitarian."

I think Abby's "Go to hell!" to Ben was meant to be the first step toward her recovery, but lady was swirling the cray-hole pretty rapidly to be on the run without any form of therapy as a guide. Maybe she can hightail it to Grandma Laura's for help.

The side of Jack served with Abigail's exit storyline certainly helped. More Matthew Ashford is never a bad thing!

It makes me happy to know that Philip and Chloe stayed in touch while they lived in Chicago. I wonder if they ever hung out with Stephanie or Morgan.

Since they spend so much time together, if Rafe can learn anything from Roman, it's how to deal with awkward relationship situations. Ro Ro can start at the Titan conference room table and go from there.

Seriously, Aiden. It's no wonder you're always in debt. You spend more money on flowers than the organizers of the Rose Parade.

I will never hear "Shady Hills" and not think "Shady Pines, ma."

This is coming from a good place, as I love Lucas, but really, Adrienne -- is Lucas really an expert in romance?

I can only give a huge eye-rolling "Oh, DAYS" to this one. They had bouncy Blanca in Daisy Duke shorts, trying to reach something on a high shelf. What's next? Is she going to wash the car in a white tank top and accidentally splash water on herself (in slow motion). It must have been the horny teenage boy on the writing staff's day to work.

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of June 27. Laurisa will be back next week in a booming red, white, and blue festive Two Scoops, especially if the Brady-Horton Independence Day picnic resumes. And, "That's a fact!"

As always, thanks for reading! Tony

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